Born to Make You Smile

ELEVEN

Club X-PLORE was located in a very large and old-looking warehouse at Queen and Spadina. I had to double check the address to be sure.

I headed to the front desk, and it seemed like any other club. Refined and modern, with dark wood and leather furniture and charcoal-black walls. I signed in and waited with tumbling nerves to meet with Ashna, Vanessa’s friend and one of the owners. I had no idea what to expect.

“Grace?”

I looked up to see a petite woman dressed in black with dark skin and shoulder-length purple hair.

I stood to greet her.

“I’m Ashna,” she said with a beaming smile. “Come with me.”

She offered me water, which I declined, and then brought me to an office that was much brighter than the rest of the club. Ashna told me about the history of X-PLORE, how it was owned by her and another woman, which I thought was great and definitely something that put my mind at ease about working here. She proceeded to ask a series of questions about my experience and my résumé. Besides being a dental assistant, I didn’t have many previous jobs. I worked at the front desk of the community center after I graduated from high school and as a bartender at a pub on weekends once I became legal.

“You’ll be serving alcohol, drinks, water. As well as offering condoms and lube. We encourage our staff to wear a costume or an item of clothing that makes them feel good. Obviously, more skin showing is ideal, but whatever you’re comfortable with.”

I smiled, shifting in my chair. “Sounds good.”

“You’re a friend of Vanessa’s?”

I nodded. “I’m actually best friends with her sister, Dorina. We all went to high school together.”

“No way. Dorina does my hair. She gets it this perfect shade of mauve. I’ve known Vanessa for years. This place wouldn’t be what it is without her. She organizes everything. Every event is because of her. She’s incredible.”

I wondered if Dorina knew the impact her sister had on this club. How valued she was.

“So,” Ashna continued, “it’s a temporary contract until February. And we’ll need you here from eight to two on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We might need you some weekends for busy events and all that, but we’ll let you know ahead of time. And since you do have experience bartending, you’ll be behind the bar some nights. We have two bars—the main bar and one in Studio 69.”

Studio 69? I swallowed.

“Great!” I pushed out my shoulders, feigning confidence.

Then Ashna told me the hourly wage.

Holy shit. I definitely made the right decision to work here. Kinky sex club or not. I could do this.

An attractive young man, looking in his late twenties, popped his head into the doorway. “Ready?” he said.

He had light-brown shaggy hair that fell in his face, his lean physique outlined in a tight maroon T-shirt.

“Grace, this is Joshua," said Ashna. "He’s going to give you a tour of the place and answer any questions you have.”

Joshua shook my hand with an excited smile and proceeded to take me around the club.

“Welcome to the team! You’ll love it here,” he said, leading me down some dim hallways. “Oh, and you’re starting at the perfect time. October is insane at X-PLORE. We really lean into the season with costumes and role-playing. Here, every day is Halloween.”

His enthusiasm was contagious, and I couldn’t help but feel comfortable in his presence.

Our first stop was a spacious arena with banners and rainbow lighting.

“This is our gymnasium,” he said. “Right now, it’s set up for naked skate.”

Naked skate. I nodded, apprehension filling me.

He led me to more rooms, including a BDSM dungeon with various leather furniture, and a wall of tools, including whips, toys, and wood paddles.

He showed me the main stage, and finally, the ’70s themed lounge, Studio 69, located on the top floor. The entire room was lit up with purple and pink neon lights. Burnt orange leather couches and potted palms in ceramic filled the space. A lit-up tiled dance floor covered the center of the room, and a giant disco ball hung from the ceiling. I thought about Gavin and how much he’d love this lounge. But then reality set in. Yeah, right. Never in a million years would Gavin come to a place like this.

Joshua continued to take me around, then went on to tell me his role here at X-PLORE.

“I’m in charge of updating the website. I also run the Pup Pound on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and help organize the pet-play events. When I’m not here, I’m a photographer by day. Still life. Landscape. The odd event or wedding. Nothing kinky.”

I chuckled. “What’s the Pup Pound?”

“The arena you saw there, we transform it into a puppy park for the guests to play and mingle. I’m a pup, a switch pup player.”

“A switch. What, like a light switch?” I chuckled.

“Oh, Goldie . Let me take you to Le Gourmand. I’ll buy you a coffee and a cookie, and I’ll tell you everything. ”

The two of us sat together at the coffee shop. Joshua told me more about the club, how it was all about learning, kink exploration, finding hidden desires, and meeting new people he called “kinksters.” He told me that any sexual acts or complete nudity were only permitted in certain areas or rooms, but bare breasts, chests, and ass cheeks were fair game anywhere in the club.

“Every Tuesday night, we have a lecture, which can be a talk or demonstration. Those are super fun.”

“What kind of demonstrations?” I asked, breaking off a piece of my cookie. It was moist and decadent. Probably the best chocolate chip cookie I’d ever had.

“All kinds of things. How to use various sex toys, how to use nipple clamps, how to spank or whip your partner properly and safely. It’s great.”

“Ahh. I see.” I forced a smile. This was so out of my comfort zone.

“But no one will ever force you to do anything without your permission,” Joshua said, sensing my discomfort. “At X-PLORE, we are all about full consent. And we never, ever kink shame. No way. No judgment here.”

I decided to ask him about what Dorina told me.

“So one of my friends mentioned some creeps coming in and being a threat to the women. She had some concerns about the safety of the club. Is that true?”

He tilted his head with a wince. “We had some issues a few years ago, followed by bad press. A guy kept coming in, obsessed with his ex, and he and his friends kept getting through the system. Suffice it to say, we’ve upgraded our security system and haven’t had an incident since. Sure, sometimes we have to remove some clients or revoke their memberships, but it’s nothing to be concerned about. If there’s one thing about X-PLORE, management takes the best care of their staff.”

“That’s good to hear.” I took a sip of coffee. “You said you’re a pup? A switch pup?”

I was so curious to know more about this pup business.

“Yes. When I’m in the pup role, I have ears or a headpiece and a mechanical tail. My collar pretty much stays on me always.” He put a hand on his chain collar, which held a small metal dog tag. “I engage in pet play, which is a type of power exchange where my partner and I enjoy the whole pet role-playing dynamic.”

“This dynamic, it turns you on?” I asked.

“Yeah. But while some parts are about sex and pleasure and all that, for me, it’s so much more. It’s about control and power, self-expression, and an intimate connection with my partner. For example, in some scenes, my owner trains me and disciplines my naughty, bratty behavior, but then he pampers me. Like his little prince. He gives me treats and makes me feel safe and protected. But as I said, I’m a switch, so we change the dynamic depending on the type of dog and scene I'm in. I used to switch between partners, but then I met Felix. My everything.” Joshua put a hand to his chest wistfully. “He comes in most Thursdays, so you’ll get to meet him soon. He’s a switch too. In other scenes, he's a bull, and I’m the border collie that controls him. It's kind of fun since I get to whip him and brand him. And he loves it.”

I rested my head on my hand and listened with focused eyes. Joshua’s world was completely foreign but intriguing to me. It was a whole new realm I wanted to learn more about and absorb.

“You know,” I said, “I had no idea about this kind of play. I think I always assumed BDSM and power exchange was all about extreme pain and control. To be honest, it was intimidating. To me at least.”

“It can include that. But this lifestyle is what you make of it. It’s honestly so varied, and there’s something for everyone. You’ll see when you start on Tuesday. I’m always learning new things. It's mind-boggling to me that people go through life without it. No offense of course.”

I smiled. “None taken.”

I already felt very comfortable with Joshua. He seemed easygoing and understanding. Very open, sharing personal details with a stranger he just met. Perhaps something I could learn from him.

***

Monday morning, Gavin dropped me off at work since he had a meeting, and I had some ordering and data entry to do in his office.

I entered the small room with a groan, looking around. Papers were scattered every which way—files, bills, mini Twizzlers wrappers. Already getting into the Halloween candy.

Naughty dentist. I chuckled to myself.

I got on his chair and swiveled around, scanning the walls surrounding me: the various artwork courtesy of the girls. His awards and certifications. His undergraduate degree from McMaster University. His dental degree from the University of Toronto, where he’d met Judy. She’d become an accountant, and he a dentist.

When I saw the time, I sighed—only an hour had gone by. My morning dragged at a snail’s pace. Working on data entry and updating written procedures was a bore. Eventually, I got so fed up and distracted with the clutter that I decided to clean up.

I glanced around his desk at the odds and ends. His crystal tooth paperweight and several framed photographs. A picture I’d taken of Charlotte and Mackenzie by the giraffes at the zoo last year. Another of the two of them standing under the peach tree. A framed photo of Gavin and Judy with the girls in their backyard about a year before she passed. Judy looked naturally beautiful, her shoulder-length tawny hair blowing in the wind and her beaming smile. Likely unaware of the illness killing her from the inside.

To my relief, there were no photos of Michelle. At least, not yet.

I collected papers, filed away bills, threw out anything distinctly garbage, and put his pens back where they belonged. I opened his desk drawer and found a pack of spearmint gum. I had no idea how old it was, but I popped a piece into my mouth. It tasted all right enough. As I put the pack of gum away, something caught my eye.

A jewelry receipt from a few weeks ago had his name on it as the customer, with his distinct signature at the bottom.

I couldn't help but have a closer look at the paper. The purchase details were vague, just a bunch of handwritten letters and numbers, including 14K and DIA. Perhaps a gold and diamond necklace or bracelet? Whatever it was, the purchase had to be for Michelle.

My face became flush as I took in the price.

$7,750.00

I wasn't very familiar with the cost of jewelry, but that seemed insanely pricey. While generous, Gavin was reserved with his money. Aside from the Aston Martin he bought last year, he typically didn’t spend money on indulgences. However, a special gift for a girlfriend would be a different story.

I continued to stare at the receipt in my hands, trying to decipher it. My eyes wandered back to the price. Why would Gavin spend this much on jewelry? What a waste. The things I would do with this kind of cash.

Then it occurred to me. What if it was an engagement ring?

No. It couldn’t be.

Things between them may have been more serious than I thought. I recalled Charlotte and her concerns over Michelle becoming her mother. Maybe after that talk about Judy in his kitchen, it had him ready to move on. The idea of him marrying Michelle made me nauseated, sick with a twisted pit of dread in my stomach. She wasn’t the right one for him. He needed a woman who really understood him and who could care for him. Someone to make him smile and laugh. Someone to be there for him and his family through thick and thin.

But then again, I didn’t see their relationship behind closed doors. Perhaps he and Michelle were really in love, and they connected on a deeper level. He had found someone he could share the rest of his life with.

My chest felt achy and hollow.

Suddenly, the sound of Gavin's voice entering the dental office knocked some sense into me, reminding me of how ridiculous I was being.

What was I doing snooping through my boss’s stuff?

I quickly tucked the receipt in the drawer and continued my data entry.

“Good afternoon,” Gavin said, poking his head in. “Look at you, like you own the office. It looks fantastic in here.”

“By the way, I stole a piece of your spearmint gum.” I made a loud, obnoxious smacking sound as I chewed it. Then I sauntered out of his comfortable chair toward him.

He shook his head, hiding a smirk. “What on earth am I going to do with you?”

Several thoughts ran through my head, modes of his punishment for me, but I shook them away before my imagination went any further down that dangerous path.

“I have it.” He looked deep into my eyes. “Your favorite song on the way home.”

With a laugh, I covered my ears. “No! You wouldn’t!”

He moved his face right up to mine, and my heart raced.

“Oh. I would ,” he said in a deep, commanding voice, followed by a sinister chuckle.

Heat enveloped me, and I pulled back, my eyes drifting around the room. “I’d better go and set up for our afternoon patients.”