Braving the Waves (Cruisin’ With Curves)

6. Marley

CHAPTER SIX

MARLEY

I try to plump up my hair one more time in the mirror, but it doesn’t really do any good. I feel like a sixteen-year-old getting ready for a homecoming dance instead of a twenty-two-year-old trying to pretend she wears elaborate make-up and dresses all the time so that she can meet a man at a bar.

Whoever came up with dining plans on cruise ships should find a new career. Sitting at big round tables with complete strangers? Whose idea was that? Last night, there was no formal dinner, but tonight is the night when everybody dresses up in their best clothes and has a “sparking, intimate dining experience.” I can’t remember the last time I went out to a restaurant of any kind, much less one that could be described as “sparkling.” I mostly just eat pasta out of a box or order delivery.

It only takes a minute to get from my room to the dining room. I fix my dress, making sure it lays flat as I take my seat. It doesn’t bother me that I basically eat dinner alone every night on the ship, alone but surrounded at the same time. I’m used to eating dinner alone with only a client’s cat or aquariums of fish to keep me company, and I would much rather sit quietly, not speaking to anyone I share a table with, than try to make small talk with strangers for an hour.

“Ma’am, would you like a picture?” A guy in a blue vest with the words Infinity Voyager embroidered on the chest bends over the table, an artificial smile pasted on his face.

“No, thank you,” I mutter, opening my napkin and laying it out on my lap. I don’t need to remember this trip when it’s over. And besides that, what am I going to do with a picture of myself alone on a cruise? Frame it?

Honestly, I probably should have invited someone to come on this cruise with me. I’m not completely alone in the world, even though some days it feels like I am. I could have asked a friend or maybe even an ex-boyfriend. Someone who could just be a body beside me while I did this. I figured out pretty quickly that almost everyone on the ship is in couples or in massive groups. And because it’s a cruise just for adults, I’ve seen a lot of people hooking up. Cruisers making out in corners, slipping into the shadows with intent in their eyes, dragging one another by clasped fingers down the hallways to their rooms.

And then there’s me. Alone on a cruise ship with my mother’s ashes.

And now I’m just alone with an empty mahogany box.

As appetizers come and then the main course and then dessert, nerves start to settle low in my belly. I’m about to meet a strange man in a bar that I’m fairly certain I’m not supposed to be in, and I’m pretty sure this night is not going to end innocently.

My palms start to sweat when I think about it. It’s been a while since I’ve been with a guy, and I’ve never had a one-night-stand. Because that’s all this is, right? Two people looking to have some fun. The cruise is over in two days. It’s not like we’re going to have a chance to really get to know each other…at least, not anymore than we already do. I’ve told him things I haven’t told very many people, and some things I’ve never told anyone at all.

And what he told me, well, I guess I don’t really know how personal those things were, but they felt personal.

I think of the tilt of his French accent, the stubble along his jaw and the dimples that etch into his cheeks when he smiles. I think of the way he held my hands in the water to clean them after I scattered Mom’s ashes.

When was the last time someone was that gentle with me?

“Ma’am, is there anything else I can get you?” my waiter asks, filling up my water glass for the third time.

“No, thank you. I think I’m all done.”

He smiles. “Very well. I look forward to seeing you again for dinner tomorrow.”

As soon as he’s gone, I stand. Dinner has felt like being in line for a roller coaster, and now I’m at the front of it. Time to get on the ride.

I cross the ship to a staircase in a back hallway that I haven’t seen very many people use. I discovered it my first day on the ship, and I’ve been using it ever since.

I take the stairs down to Deck 2, moving as quietly as I can. I pray that I don’t run into any crew members because I don’t think I would be able to explain to anyone why I’m going down into the decks that are clearly just meant for the staff. When I push open the door to Deck 2, I half expect a party, loud music and voices. But instead, all I hear is silence.

The hallway is empty, all the doors closed, and I swear the only sound in the entire universe is the sound of my breathing. For a moment, I wonder how in the world I’m going to find Isaac, but then I turn and see a sign hanging right beside the door to the staircase, white plastic with blue writing, one arrow labeled staff quarters and another arrow labeled crew bar .

Well…that was easy.

I make my way down the corridor the arrow is pointing me down. It quickly turns sharply to the left, and I keep following it, passing doors labeled things like laundry and medical staff . Not exactly party vibes.

I take another sharp turn, and I finally hear something. In front of me, the long, starkly white hallway gradually gives way to color, the end of the hallway finally dead-ending in an open area that’s navy blue and wood grain. The lighting is low, not much more than a glow that seems to swallow the white corridor.

I reach up to make sure my hair is perfect and straighten out my dress. I honestly don’t know if I’m supposed to walk in there confidently or if I’m supposed to sneak in. Either way, I should probably pretend I belong here, right? Or would Isaac have told people I was coming?

“Hey, it’s the girl who scares easy!”

I spin around, almost to the bar, and realize that someone has been walking up behind me. It’s one of the guys from that first night, when I met Isaac on the deck. He was playing basketball. He has a twist to his smile that I don’t like.

“Excuse me?” I ask. I don’t think he really understands what he just said to me, the way his comment struck me deep, but I can’t figure out why he would have even said it in the first place.

His smile falters a bit. “Because Isaac startled you the first night on the deck.” I realize as he comes closer to me that he has an Australian accent. And that he’s dressed in a suit, the collar of his dress shirt unbuttoned. I guess even the off-duty crew members aren’t allowed to sit out “sparkling night.”

The guy puts a hand out. “I’m Luke.”

I take his hand even though there’s something about the gesture that feels unkind, like I’ve just been branded an outsider.

“Yeah, hi,” is all I manage to say in return.

“You’re looking for Isaac.”

I don’t have any clue what to say in this situation. It feels like I was afraid it would, like I’m not supposed to be here. Surely there’s a rule against fraternization, but this guy (and Isaac, I guess) doesn’t seem to be particularly concerned about it. In fact, he seems excited to gesture over my shoulder with a nod and then point out Isaac, who is in deep conversation with someone at the bar, another one of the guys from the basketball game.

Isaac’s eyes wander as he speaks and then he sees me, the entire length of the room between us. His face spreads into a smile, and I go a little weak at the knees. I’m not one to swoon over guys, but in a fitted blue suit and those dimples, Isaac looks good enough to eat.

“You know,” Luke says as we wait for Isaac to approach, “Isaac’s a pretty tame guy. If you’re looking for some real fun, I could show you where I bunk.”

My head whips toward him. “Excuse me?”

He grins, like he’s never been turned down in his life and isn’t expecting to be now. With olive-toned skin and dark hair and eyes, he’s certainly objectively attractive, but even without Isaac waiting for me, I would be put off by this guy’s cockiness.

“I’m just saying. I can show you a good time.”

I cross my arms and take a step toward the bar. “Thanks, but I’m already having a good time.”

My answer doesn’t seem to bother him. He just smiles bigger. “Guess I’ll leave you to it then,” Luke says, giving me a cheesy grin before heading off to join someone else.

When he gets to me, Isaac says, not unkindly, “Why were you talking to Luke?”

I shrug, not wanting him to know that I was just hit on. “He found me.”

He takes a step closer, and I get a whiff of his cologne, something woodsy and seductive. “That’s strange,” he says, amusement in his voice. “I thought I found you.”

There’s something about the way he says it, the way the comment is so clearly meant to be intimate, maybe even suggestive, that has me sucking in a breath, looking up into his blue eyes that are shadowed by the dim light over his shoulder. And for the first time since I met this man a few days ago, I know for certain that I want to be naked with him.

“You look beautiful in that dress,” he says, and I blush.

“Thanks. It has pockets.” To demonstrate, I stick my hands in the pockets and ruffle the skirt of my dress.

He gives me a strange look and then smiles. “Can I get you a drink?” he asks, stepping back and ushering me to the bar.

“Sure,” I say, though I don’t really have any interest in being drunk. I want to be clear-headed while I’m down here with all these strangers. Socializing has never really been my strong suit, and I don’t want to do anything that might get Isaac in trouble.

The ponytailed man at the bar exchanges a few words with Isaac with a smile before glancing over at me. He says something low to Isaac in French and Isaac stiffens beside me.

He responds in French as well, but his words sound angry. When the bartender lifts his eyebrows at Isaac and clamps his lips shut, I get a bad feeling about the conversation that just transpired.

“What was that about?” I ask when the bartender has put two bright orange drinks in front of us and then walked away.

He makes a bit of a huffing noise and looks around, eyes darting this way and that. “I have a bit of a reputation around here,” he says.

Something heavy starts to weigh on my chest. Is he known for picking up passengers? Known for having flings with the first woman he can find that’s unguarded and isolated? Emotionally compromised? I’m sure it’s a thing, crew members getting off on the idea of getting a few hot days with some lonely soul or maybe just someone who likes the idea of sleeping with the staff.

Either way, that’s not why I’m here. That's not what I’m doing. I thought Isaac and I were connecting .

“I am the goody-two-shoes, as they say. I’ve never brought a passenger down here before.”

Well, that is…the complete opposite of what I thought was going on here. He’s got a slight flush to his cheeks when his eyes finally settle on mine. “It’s against the rules, but a lot of the crew members think it’s a game. The fact that I brought you here has made me a little bit of a laughingstock.”

I subtly glance around, like he did. Everyone tries to look away in time, tries to seem natural, like they’re not watching us, but it’s very clear that they are. I lean toward Isaac. “Are you going to get in trouble if you’re seen with me?”

He pauses, a very heavy pause. “Yes and no. Yes, I would be in trouble, but nobody down here is going to rat us out.” He leans toward me now, until I can smell the sweet alcohol on his breath, and whispers, “And even if they wanted to, I know everyone’s secrets around here. If someone rats, I just rat right back.”

For some reason, this makes me smile. I think it’s the way his mouth twists around the word “rat.”

“Okay,” is all I can think to say.

Isaac watches me carefully as he lifts his drink to his lips and takes a sip of it. The look is heated, sultry, dangerous.

Just then, speakers from somewhere on the other side of the room crackle to life and a bumpy pop song starts to play. A cheer erupts from a table full of female crew members beside us, and people start to push tables out of the way to dance.

“What’s happening?” I shout to Isaac over the music.

He takes the still mostly-full drink from my hand and sets it on the bar. “Dancing!” he shouts back and then takes my hand and pulls me towards the side of the room where everyone has begun to gather, dancing in groups and pairs. Everyone seems to have forgotten all about me, and Isaac’s reputation. Now, there’s only the music.

I’m not much of a dancer for the same reason that I’m not very good with socializing. I’m an introvert who has spent the majority of her life contentedly on her own, locked away in her apartment. And before that, when I was in high school and then in college, while everyone else was at parties, I was at home reading or making my own jewelry or watching teen TV dramas. I didn’t go to dances and grind up against boys. I didn’t get invited to prom or parties where people drank and then did embarrassing things.

So when Isaac pulls me close with a hand on either side of my hips, I’m not prepared for how warm his hands are through the fabric of my dress. And when he presses his mouth to my ear and sighs, I’m not prepared for the involuntary gasp that escapes my throat. And when he spins me so that his chest is against my back, and I feel him starting to get hard between us, I’m not prepared for the way I go from shy to so horny I can’t see straight in three seconds flat.

I haven't been touched in a very long time, and now that Isaac’s hands are roaming my body, it’s sort of like going without carbs for two years and then being invited to a pizza party.

As the song changes, moving from one quick rhythm to another, Isaac presses in closer to me, one of his hands trailing down to the outside of my thigh while the other travels up, until his fingers are touching the curve of my breast.

“I want you,” he says into my ear, and I shiver.

If sex had never been on the table for tonight, it would have been fine, but seeing as how we’re consenting adults and he is very openly making the first move, I’m all in. If he’s not worried about getting in trouble, then why should I be?

Making a firm decision, I press my ass back against his hips and grind.

Under the heavy thump of the music, I hear him suck in a breath. And then he lets it out against the back of my neck, one hot puff of air.

The hand that was on my thigh scoops down a little further, slipping into the slit of my dress and finding my bare skin.

I spin in his arms, go up on my tiptoes, and kiss him. If he were someone else and we were somewhere else, I would want to go slow. I would want to dance all night until we’re exhausted and then let him slip me a small goodnight kiss outside my door. But we don’t have time for slow. In a few days, I’ll never see this man again, and I don’t want to miss my opportunity to let him do horrible things to me.

Isaac seems to agree that going slow is not the goal. As his mouth opens over mine, his tongue sweeping between my lips, his hands smooth down my back and grab my ass, pulling me tight to him.

I moan against his mouth and let him rock me against the hardness behind his zipper a few times before pulling away. “Where can we go?” I ask.

I see the second it takes him to process what I’m asking and then his eyes sweep over my head. We can’t go to my room. Even I know that there are cameras in all the hallways. He’ll get fired, for sure.

“Your room?” I ask him.

He presses his forehead to mine, his breath coming out in heavy bursts. “Too many roommates. There’s no way someone won’t barge in.”

I’m starting to feel the desperation of the moment in my fingertips, that feeling I get when it feels like something I want just might be slipping through my fingers. “Do it here,” I tell him, my mouth pressed to his ear. “The bathroom?”

He pulls back, his eyes shifting between mine. He looks to either side of us, where everyone seems to be pretty preoccupied with their own hook-ups and good times. He takes my hand and pulls me toward the back of the room. I turn in time to see that he’s not leading me toward the bathrooms. A sign on the other side of the room tells me the bathrooms are back in the hall I came from. But he’s taking me down a different hall. This one is dark and quiet, just as empty as the hallway to the elevator.

“Where are we going?” I whisper, but without answering, Isaac spins around, presses me against the wall, and kisses me. He shoves his hands into my hair, gripping tightly for a moment before letting them trail down my neck and across my collarbone.

He pulls his mouth from mine and looks at me with a question in his eyes in the dark as his fingertips trace the neckline of my dress. I’m not positive what he’s trying to ask me for, but no matter what it is, I won’t deny him. I feel safe with him, sure that he won’t push me any further than I want to go.

I nod, and his fingers dip into my dress, the tips of them lightly grazing my nipple. I gasp, and he meets my eye. A smile pulls at one corner of his mouth just before he tugs the neckline of my dress open and lowers his mouth. He wraps his lips around my nipple, and my mouth falls open, equally turned on by having his mouth on me and also by being bared so intimately in a public hallway. I don’t know where the hallway leads, but I can only assume anybody on the crew could come walking by any second.

“So beautiful,” Isaac breathes against my skin, setting his teeth around my nipple and tugging lightly.

I shiver and clamp my hand down over my mouth so I don’t let any noise slip out.

“Is that good?” he whispers, laving my nipple in languid strokes.

“Perfect,” I breathe.

He chuckles and straightens to kiss me again. I can still hear the heavy thump of the music coming from down the hall, and it’s making this whole thing more exciting. I’ve never had sex anywhere remotely public, unless you count losing your virginity in the backseat of your boyfriend’s car parked at the edge of the woods.

This feels scary and sexy, and with Isaac caging me in against the wall, it feels right , like I’m meant to be here with him.

His mouth finds mine in the dark, and I reach for the closures on his pants. I can feel him behind the zipper, hard and aching, and when I start to undo the button and slip the zipper down, Isaac dips his head to watch, all the while taking my breasts in his hands.

I reach into his open pants and find him hot and pulsing. It’s too dark to really get a good look, but the two of us watch as I take him out of his pants and stroke him. For the most part, I can only see the movement of my arm, up and down and up and down.

“Feels so good,” he says, his voice low under the thumping beat.

I smile. “It would feel even better inside me.

I hear his soft chuckle, and then I feel him move, crouching in front of me and reaching up under my dress to find my underwear. He hooks his fingers in the lace and tugs it down, following it to the ground with the hot palms of his hands. It makes me shiver.

“Shit. I don’t have anything,” he says. “I could run to my room or?—”

I put a hand over his mouth and pull the condom out of my pocket that I slipped in there before dinner. I press it into his palm.

“Wow,” is all he says.

“I had hopes,” I respond. “I bought them in the shop upstairs.”

He laughs again. He lets me go, and I just assume he’s rolling the condom on, even though I can’t really make out what he’s doing.

And then he’s back with me. He reaches into the slit of my dress and hikes my leg up onto his hip. He lines us up and pushes into me as I ball my fists in the fabric of his shirt.

His first thrust slams my hips back into the wall with a smack .

“Sorry,” he says, breathless, but I hook a hand around his neck and pull his mouth back down to mine.

“Don’t stop,” I say, rocking my hips, even though there’s very little space to do so with my body being trapped between him and the wall.

He grunts and starts to fuck me.

If you had asked me if I thought there was any way I would be having sex on this trip, I would have laughed. This is not why I'm here, but who am I to question the workings of the universe?

Because it’s been so long since I let someone touch me. Since I let them have me in this way. And I know this is a memory I’ll have forever, something I’ll dream about in the future, when I’m back home and Isaac is still traveling the world on this ship.

A reminder that I’m still very much alive.

“Fuck, I’m almost there,” he says, digging his fingers into my thigh. I reach up to play with my nipple, rock harder against him to find friction, but I know I’m not going to get there. It’s always been so hard for me.

Isaac groans in my ear, and I feel him pulse inside me. I hold him as he comes, his breath puffing out against my neck with each gasp.

I still ache between my legs, a heavy throb that I know will go away over time, once we’ve gone our separate ways and I’ve taken a cool shower and gotten into bed. This is not the first time I’ve missed out on an orgasm.

“Did you…?” he asks in my ear, but I can tell by the tilt of his voice that he knows I didn’t.

“No,” I say, letting my leg fall back to the ground. “But that’s okay.”

He makes a strange noise, like a scoff but much more serious. “No, it’s not.” And then he’s dropping to his knees in front of me again. He pushes aside my dress and buries his face into the space between my legs.

“Oh!” I yelp, my eyes falling closed and my hands going into his hair when his tongue immediately sets up a rhythm against my clit. Just like before, he hikes my leg up over his shoulder.

It doesn’t take me long to get there. I was already most of the way there before, but I got distracted by the darkness and the noise and everything that was going on around us. But it’s easier now when I let my eyes fall closed and focus on every tiny sensation.

I start to whine, a distant sound in the back of my throat, and clutch him tighter as his tongue picks up speed. Faster and faster until I’m pushing my hips against his face, searching for release.

“Ungh!” I choke back the scream that’s building in my throat and bite down hard on my lip as I come, my legs trembling under me until I fear I might tip over completely.

Isaac settles my foot back into the ground, but before he can stand up, the lights in the hallway turn on.

ISAAC

I jump to my feet, but I know for sure that it was pretty obvious I was down on my knees and what exactly I was doing down there. I have the taste of Marley in my mouth.

My mind is already beginning to formulate a lie when I realize that the figure at the end of the hall with his hand still on the light switch is Apollo. I heave out a sigh of relief.

“Marley,” I say, reaching over to take her hand, “this is my friend, Apollo. Apollo, this is Marley.” I can only hope that we both look put-together enough for polite society. I’m suddenly glad I had the wherewithal to tuck my dick back into my pants, condom and all, before I got to my knees in front of her.

“Hi, Marley,” Apollo says, a sly smile on his face. He tucks his hands in his pockets. “They’re doing last call, so I thought you might want one last one, but you clearly have your hands full.” He winks at Marley, and I tug her back down the hallway.

“Yeah, thanks,” is all I say to Apollo as we move past him, going back into the bar which is now mostly empty. A big group of female crew members gather around a table against the wall, still chatting, and a few people are still on the dance floor, but a lot of these people have to be up with the sun tomorrow, so they all have their fun and then take off.

I want to ask Marley to stay, but she’s already moving toward the bright hallway just outside the bar’s entrance. When she gets there, she stops and rocks back on her heels, like someone waiting for their very first kiss goodnight.

“I’ll walk you back to your room,” I say, but she shakes her head.

“I don’t want to get you in trouble. I’ll be fine.”

My brain can’t help but start to recreate my memories of her: startling her the night we met, breaking down when she got caught in the storm. Will she be fine?

Yes. She will. I know she will.

“It doesn’t bother you?” I ask. “Being on the ship by yourself?”

She shrugs. “My mother used to do it all the time.” She gets a faraway look in her eyes then. “I’ve always wanted to be more like her. She was so, so brave. She wasn't scared of anything.” And then she smiles. “This really helped. This” –she gestures toward the bar– “it makes me a little less scared. I don’t want to let fear keep me from my life anymore.”

I’m still processing her words when she leans forward and kisses me, just one small peck on my lips.

“Find me tomorrow,” she says and then takes off down the hall toward the elevators.

I watch her until I can’t see her anymore, and then I realize I’m no longer alone. I turn my head to look at Apollo. He’s got one eyebrow raised in my direction.

“I thought you didn’t get involved with the passengers.”

“I don’t,” I growl.

The other eyebrow joins the first. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize going down on them wasn’t getting involved. My mistake.” He chuckles and steps into the hall, going in the opposite direction, toward the cabin we share.

I wait for him to disappear too, and then I replay everything that just happened with Marley in my head.