Braxton (Station 47)

Chapter 4

FOUR

HANNAH

When I walk out of Christina’s room I feel like I’ve been put through the wringer. Working in the Emergency Room isn’t for the weak on a good day, but on days like today? It’s not for the strong either. Especially when I know the second Braxton sees me he’s going to have questions I can’t answer. I hate not having the answers when it comes to someone’s loved one. And no, Christina isn’t his loved one, but the chances are high that little boy is going to become one.

Sure enough, I haven’t even made it to the room I led Braxton to what feels like forever ago before the door opens and he comes storming out like he was standing behind it watching for me. Remind me to suggest doors without windows next time we do any remodeling.

“Is she okay? What happened? She’s okay, right?” The way his voice shakes when he asks breaks my heart, and I look around the busy space. There are so many people milling around, between the nurses going in and out of rooms for so many reasons, the doctors trying to treat patients and the way too many people who come up to sit with people waiting for care, it’s not private enough for his conversation or the reaction I know he’s going to have when I tell him what I need to.

Gesturing towards the room he came out of, I say, as gently as I can, “Let’s go in there and talk.”

Braxton freezes. “Is she… is she… gone?” His voice breaks, and I feel even worse.

“No, she’s not,” I try to reassure him, but how can I really? The news isn’t good, and there’s not an easy way to tell him. “Please, Brax, let’s go in the room.”

Reluctantly, he turns, shoulders slumping in defeat so he almost shrinks in on himself.

Shutting the door behind me, I look up and see a room full of tall muscular men. Men who all stand way above my 5’8”. I feel dwarfed with the way they’re standing around me, and I almost feel like I’m in front of a firing squad, fearful of giving them information that will cause them to shoot the messenger.

Choosing instead to focus on what I need to say, I turn my attention to Braxton. “I don’t have a ton of information to give you, and I probably shouldn’t be telling you any of it since you aren’t next of kin.” My eyes go to the little boy sleeping in the bed beside where Braxton’s gone to stand, his hand rubbing Nathan’s back like he’s trying to both comfort him and reassure himself that he’s still there.

“But, Christina isn’t doing well. LeeAnna told me she did hear back from her oncologist, and her prognosis is pretty grim. She’s been told she has at most a handful of months left, likely less than six. That’s what prompted the visit here. Knowing she doesn’t have a lot of time, she wanted to make amends and inform the father of her child that Nathan exists in the hope he would step up and take custody… after.”

Braxton immediately opens his mouth, I’m sure to say he absolutely will, so I hold up a hand to stop him. “We both know, even though she didn’t answer when you asked, that you are likely that person. However, we don’t know that for sure, and legally, there are going to be some things you’ll almost certainly want and need to do.”

“Okay, but how is she? What happened?” He’s still panicky and agitated and I don’t blame him a bit.

This is the part that’s going to be hard. Being a firefighter, and one who’s gone through basic EMT training, he’s going to understand the severity of what I’m about to tell him more than most would. “She’s not doing well, Brax. I don’t know what’s going to happen next at this point, and I can’t even begin to speculate with you. She started seizing, and when she did, her heart rate went super high and so did her temperature. Her body isn’t strong enough to handle any of that, and her heart stopped.”

I can see the blood drain from his face, so I rush to continue. “We were able to get it going again, but she’s far from stable. They took her for more tests, so I can’t stay in here long, especially if the cause is what I think it is.”

“What do you think it is?” The question comes from one of the other guys, and according to the patch on his jacket, his name is Hayes.

My attention doesn’t leave Braxton, however. “At the moment, sepsis is a serious concern. She’s being admitted and taken upstairs so we can monitor while giving her a course of strong antibiotics.”

The words go over about like you’d expect a bomb to, and there’s a collective indrawn breath from all the guys, along with variations of shit, fuck and goddamn .

Braxton sits down heavily on the end of the hospital room, his elbows resting on his thighs and his head dropping into his hands like it’s too heavy for him to hold. Part of me hates being the one that had to tell him this information, but at the same time, I’m also glad I was the one to tell him, because hearing the news from someone he knows isn’t going to bullshit him is going to be something he appreciates later after he’s had a chance to process it all.

When his head lifts, his eyes are ringed in red and bloodshot from trying to hold back his emotions. “What kind of chance does she really have?”

My mouth opens, then closes without saying anything. I’m not completely sure how to answer him. Honestly, without Christina’s permission, I shouldn’t be telling him any of this. If anyone found out I had, I’d probably be in a lot of trouble. Plus, this answer isn’t one anyone wants to receive. Especially when it’s someone they haven’t seen for close to five years and you’ve just found out they are probably the mother of your only child that you didn’t know existed.

“Hannah.” His voice is harder than I’ve ever heard it, and I know when our eyes meet that he knows what I’m trying not to say. The way his shoulders sag, and his head drops down to stare at the floor, are vivid signs of his sorrow and devastation at the knowledge Christina likely won’t leave this hospital. Not as a healed, healthy woman at least.

I take a step forward and squat so we’re at eye-level, making it easier to cup my hand over his clasped ones. “She’s going to need you to be strong for her.” Nathan shifts in my peripheral vision and my attention slides over to him for a second before I look back at Braxton. “She’s going to need you to be strong for him more.”

Braxton nods his agreement, but doesn’t agree verbally. I start to say something, to try some attempt at comforting him, but my phone chimes, letting me know another patient needs my attention.

“I need to go, but I’ll come back to check on you both later. Christina’s parents should be here in probably about two hours. I’m sure they’ll want to talk to you about everything.” He nods once more, but still doesn’t speak.

His friends each thank me on my way out the door and reiterate that they’ll wait in here with him for Christina’s parents and to help entertain Nathan, but it doesn’t stop me from sending a text to Kadence as I head for the next crisis that needs my attention.

Me: Can you come to the hospital?

Me: Braxton needs you.

Kadence: WHAT??

Kadence: Is he okay?

Kadence: What happened?

Kadence: Hannah???!

My best friend is so quick to go to the worst case scenario.

Me: Physically, he’s fine, I swear.

I’ve already broke so many rules, what’s breaking it one more time? I’m not going to tell her everything. That should be left up to Braxton to tell her whatever he wants her to know, and he might not want to tell her about Nathan most likely being his child because she’ll immediately go into “auntie mode” like she does with my girls.

Me: He was on scene today for someone he knows and it messed with him pretty bad.

Kadence: OMG.

Kadence: I’ll come right now.

Swear to God, I’ll never understand why she can’t just text all of her thoughts in one text . It’s always a single thought broken up into three or four and it drives me crazy.

When I get her last text, I’m at my next patient, so I slide my phone back into my pocket and knock on the door. Stepping inside, I put Braxton, Christina and Nathan out of my head and get back to work. Kadence will be here soon.