Brazen Mistakes (Brazen Boys #3)

4. Clara

Chapter 4

Clara

J ansen sends me a video chat request during the second John Wick movie, so I take a break and decide to eat my first actual meal of the day—at seven. I’m really rocking the self-care today.

“Hey,” I say, wandering into the kitchen.

Jansen’s holding the phone a little too close, his nose and green eyes taking up most of the screen. “Hey! I’m so glad I caught you. I just wanted to say hi and see how your day was going.”

I force a smile. “It’s just a day. Nothing special. I was on my way to reheat some of the food Walker left. It was a complete feast last night. You should have been here.”

The image bounces as Jansen hops into an unfamiliar twin bed. “Were there cookies? ”

“Three kinds.”

“Three kinds! I didn’t even know Walker made more than his magnificent chocolate chip cookies, which are blessed by angels. Were the others any good?”

Jansen’s grin is infectious, and my smile feels easier on my face than before. I pull out some leftover roast duck. Before yesterday, I’d never eaten duck. But I will be eating more in the future. That shit was delicious. “Of course. He made these ginger snaps that were just the right amount of crunchy and then something called a Yakgwa. Those ones were covered in honey, and you don’t even bake them. You fry them. And they took two days.”

“Sounds amazing. Are there any left?”

I debate heating the duck, but I know I’ll ruin it somehow, so I pile some cold meat on a plate. “There are. For now.”

Jansen tsks, his eyes bright. “If you eat them all, I’m going to be very disappointed.”

“How disappointed?”

He pretends to think. “Disappointed enough that I’ll chase you through the house, catch you, and do raspberries on your belly until you’re laughing so hard you can’t move. Then, while you’re weak with giddy pleasure from my epic moves, I’ll carry you to my room and have my wicked way with you.”

My laughter is so genuine it surprises me. “That’s quite the plan.”

“I’m a master planner, beautiful. I’ve been hiding my strategic brain from you for months.”

“And now, in a fit of rage over the possibility of lost cookies, you’ve revealed all your secrets?”

“Ugh! You caught me! My master plan is foiled! ”

I giggle, and Jansen leans forward, pressing his lips to the camera. “I love to see you laugh, beautiful. I’ve missed it.”

“You haven’t even been gone a week,” I say.

He shifts his back against the bed frame, the phone finally far enough from his face for me to see more than bits and pieces of him. “It’s still long enough to miss your laugh.”

I dig a fork out of the drawer. “I’ve missed you too.”

“At least somebody has. I’m pretty sure Jerry is about ready to kick me out into the snow.”

“I thought you and your stepdad got along great?”

“Usually, we do. But Evie’s been on a self-improvement kick and talked me into joining her. Apparently, my attempts at containing my chaos via her new methods are worse than my usual uncontained chaos.” Jansen’s eyes glint. “Oh! And Evie and I stole the smart TV converter from the living room to get everyone to play board games last night. We’re holding it hostage until after Christmas. Jerry’s not happy missing the games, and blames me personally for the slight.”

I laugh. “I hope I can meet Evie sometime.”

“She’s coming down over break. She has a show in Minneapolis.”

“A show?”

“Yeah, she’s the lead singer in a bluegrass band. She’s fantastic. Do you want to come with me?”

Bluegrass? That’s like country, right? Emma would probably love it, considering her infatuation with the band Ramblin' Moxie right now. “I’ll give it a go.”

“You and me, beautiful, we’re gonna take on the town.”

I think back to RJ’s careful invite earlier. “I’m a lucky girl. Two date offers in one day. ”

“Ooo. Who’s the lucky guy? Don’t tell me, did Trips finally get his head out of his ass?”

“No. He’s, well, he’s the same. RJ asked me out.”

“Oh my gosh! It’s his first date! I’m going to have to take pictures and send them to his mom and his sisters!”

I feel my cheeks heat from second-hand hypothetical embarrassment. “Don’t you dare, Jansen. That’s just cruel.”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’d never do anything like that. Nothing at all like trailing you while you’re on your date and snapping shots of the two of you holding hands. And kissing. And maybe doing other things.”

“Jansen Pierce! You will do no such thing.” If he were physically here, I’d be flinging the dishtowel at him.

He slumps back against his bed. “Fine, fine, I’ll be good.”

“Good.”

“I’ll only send the photos to the house’s group chat.”

I groan. “You’re hopeless, Jansen.”

“You love…it.”

The pause when he says “it” makes my heart stutter in my chest.

Shit.

Walker told me he loved me just a week ago, and I told him the same. Only, it’s still so new. And I’m terrified that I don’t know what I’m doing. That I’m going to hurt someone, because it doesn’t make sense that I can feel so much for so many people. For four criminals.

How broken can one girl be?

Something must show on my face because Jansen shifts in the frame. “Hey, beautiful, you know I’ve got you. No worries, no rush, just laughs. Well, that and really great sex. ”

I snort, which sets him off. Once our chuckles subside, I play at confident. Maybe if I pretend long enough, it’ll stick. “I could go for some of that really great sex right about now.”

The buzzing under my skin backs up that thought. All that anxious energy needs direction. And it’s impossible to forget how good it feels to get lost in my body. One explosive night with three of my guys? There was no room for anything besides sensation, and for once, the voice in my head was silent. A magic cure I plan to revisit that will keep me from feeling like…this.

“Well, give me a couple of days, and I can make that happen.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

Jansen looks at something behind the phone, shaking his head once. Then everything in the frame spins and the same bright green eyes and blonde hair greet me, but it’s his sister’s face.

“Oh my God! It’s true! Some girl is actually dating my brother? I mean, it’s happened before, but you’d better be serious about him. He’s a handful, but he’s more than worth it. Do you think you’re up for it? Because I have high standards for him. No way I’m letting anyone break his heart agai—”

Jansen pops into frame one second before he tackles Evie onto the bed, the phone camera falling onto half-lit, crumpled blankets as their bickering cuts in and out over the mic.

“Hello? Umm, are we done? Jansen?”

The squabbling lasts long enough for me to finish the duck. Then a gray cat’s paw swats at the phone a few times before it disconnects. The combo of cat and sister means that Jansen will have to call me back. Hopefully before I get too stuck in my mind. And maybe with a bonus of some good phone sex as a distraction, too.

I’m onto my fourth John Wick movie when my phone jingles, bright in the dark of my room.

Walker.

I don’t want to wake you, but I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.

I grin, texting back.

Merry Christmas! I’m still up. Want to call?

Sadly, I’m sharing a room with my brother.

Bunking up? Did you share a room when you were kids?

Yeah. He snores.

Laughing, I take a selfie of myself in bed, surrounded by a bag of chips and an empty container of blueberries. Once I started eating, I ended up a bottomless pit. The wrappers on the floor attest to it.

Bet you’d rather be here. I’d even move the chips for you.

Lmao. I’m honored.

You should be. Salty and crunchy? Yum.

Wait. I changed my mind. You can hold them instead.

He sends me a picture of himself laughing.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

How are things at home?

Normal.

I sigh at the lack of information. I know all about what’s going on at Jansen’s and RJ’s houses, and even a fair amount about Trips’ relationship with his little sister, based on the tiff I heard at the start of my call. But I still know close to nothing about Walker’s family, besides the fact that he’s the youngest of four boys and that one of his brothers is apparently working on a cure for cancer. That’s it.

Are all your brothers home?

They all flew in, but they’ll be gone within a few days.

I debate what to do next, settling on an ambiguous question.

Is it nice to see them?

There’s a long pause before Walker’s reply comes up.

Yeah. But weird. Everyone is so different from when we were kids. But also, exactly the same. For example, I had to make polite small talk with my brother earlier, but he still snores.

Lol! Were you guys close before?

Close enough. But after he left for college, we drifted. Anyway, I have to get up early to help cook, but I wanted to check in.

Did I push too hard?

Thanks for checking on me. I’m here, I’m fed, and you’ll see me tomorrow. Hopefully, with crumb-less sheets.

Good. I love you. Call if you need me.

Oh thank God. I haven’t ruined anything.

Love you too.

Setting down my phone, I stare out into the dark beyond my windows. The snow from earlier still falls, big clumps drifting down, muffling sounds from outside the house. I pick up my phone again.

Merry Christmas, Dad!

When it flashes a response, I ignore it, turning the movie on instead. I’m not ready for a conversation. Just imagining his excuses for my mom makes me want to throw something.

Anger and Christmas cheer, a match that can only be made under the watchful gaze of the world’s best fictional assassin.