Breaking the Ice

Chapter 29

29

“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to contact you for two days.”

“At Nick’s place. I haven’t left since we babysat the other night.”

“Does that mean what I think it means? Did you finally Plan B him?”

“Yes, Bec. Again and again. We haven’t even been to work.”

Bec laughed. “Hallelujah! Who’s been looking after the bookshop?”

“Bookshop? What bookshop? Nick put up the closed sign.”

“Are your eggs happy?”

“Yes and no.”

“Jesus, they’re hard to please. What’s their problem? I thought they’d love Nick.”

“Oh, they do. They hum all the time now but they’re displeased about the condom thing.”

“So, he doesn’t want kids, at all?”

“Nope. And even if he did, he’s leaving in a month.”

“So go with him.”

“No.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

“Yes. God, yes.” And it just kept growing.

“So go with him.”

“No. My home is here. My career is here. And being dragged around the countryside as a kid was more than enough traveling for me.”

Bec made a disapproving noise that Sam knew only too well but she thankfully let it drop. “Okay, okay. Tell me about the sex and don’t leave out any details.”

Samantha spilled the details. “Do you know I have a G-spot?”

“Every woman does. Just because Gary couldn’t find it with a compass, a map and a miner’s helmet doesn’t mean you’re the only female on the face of the planet without one.”

“Nick finds it every time. I swear… the man is a sex god.”

“You know you’re going to be a complete wreck when he leaves?”

“Yup. But it’s okay, I’m using a method adopted by all highly evolved, upwardly mobile, urban females.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Denial.”

After two solid days and nights in bed, they knew they had to get back to the real world. They opened the shop. They were distracted as hell. The customers noticed. They didn’t care. Work was a complete inconvenience interrupting their naked time together.

And then something happened to burst their little bubble once and for all.

“Hello, Birdie’s. This is Samantha.”

“Sammy!” Bob boomed down the line.

“Bob.”

Her gaze flicked to Nick who was helping a customer find the right dark, why-choose romance. He grinned and shot her the thumbs up.

“Good lord, I couldn’t believe it when Ray told me you were working in a second-hand bookshop. I need you here pronto, Sammy girl. Everything’s a mess and only you can fix it.”

Samantha gripped the receiver tight, not quite believing her luck. First Nick and then her job. Could life be any more perfect? Still, she lectured herself to play it cool. He may be offering her the one thing she wanted more than Nick but she wasn’t going to make his humble pie easy to eat.

“Ray not work out then?”

“He was completely incompetent. Never let emotions or loyalties get in the way of business, Sammy. You’re never too old to learn that lesson.”

“I think I remember saying he was no good, Bob.”

“Yes, alright, alright, you have me by the balls. I’m sorry, okay? I made a mistake. Now come back. We need you here.”

They were exactly the words she’d been waiting months to hear and yet they were apparently failing to excite her the way she’d fantasized. In the beginning she’d been obsessed with getting her job back but she suddenly realized that imperative had slowly waned. The more fun and stress-free and relaxing it had been at Birdie’s, the less she’d thought about the frenetic, big money, burning-the-midnight-oil pace of her old job.

Having learned there was more to life than spreadsheets and tax season, she was actually balking at going back to it all. Which was ridiculous. She wanted this . Right?

“I want double what I was on before.”

Bob spluttered for a bit but then so did she, internally. Where the hell had that come from? Maybe the time away had made her really think about her worth, her value to the company. She’d always given 200 per cent but had never been acknowledged or rewarded for it.

So, she guessed she’d soon find out how badly Bob really wanted her back.

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“Oh, I haven’t finished yet. I want that corner office and” – she cast around for something truly outrageous – “an obscenely expensive car.”

She had a midrange car now that she rarely used but that was beside the point.

“And I swear to God, Bob, if you ever call me Sammy or girl again, I’m walking and never coming back.”

She caught Nick’s eye over the top of the customer’s head and he winked at her.

“Good lord, gir… I mean Samantha . You can have whatever you want, just get your ass back in here first thing tomorrow.”

Samantha blinked. Wow. The accounts must be in a complete mess.

“What about this biological clock nonsense? I hope you’re over all that.”

Samantha inspected Nick’s downcast head. Not really but it was never going to happen. Not with Nick. And she wasn’t letting her eggs settle for anyone else. “Yes. I’m over it.”

“Thank Christ for that. Damn fool idea to be wasting your talent and brains on becoming a baby machine.”

Samantha clutched the phone at Bob’s disparaging assessment of motherhood. Not that long ago she would have agreed with him. But the last few months had turned all her former beliefs on their ear and she’d gone from grudgingly giving in to her eggs’ demands for a highly inconvenient baby to wanting one – Nick’s baby – so badly she could hardly think about it without getting a pain in her chest.

From someone demographically compatible to a one-horse race.

She replaced the handset as the customer left and Nick strode across the shop to gather her into a fierce hug. “Well done. That’s the best news.”

Samantha smiled and accepted his congratulatory kiss. It was. Really… it was.

But, as the kiss escalated into something more and her eggs hummed the ‘Wedding March’, she wasn’t so sure. Being with Nick and getting to look at him and touch him and smell him every day would be hard to give up even if he wasn’t in Tetworth for much longer.

Breaking off the kiss, Nick asked, “What about your eggs? You still haven’t found Mr. Demographically Suitable.”

No. But she’d found someone better.

“If I couldn’t find him in the last few months he probably doesn’t exist. Don’t worry,” she assured him with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Despite what my eggs think, I don’t need a baby to be fulfilled as a woman. They’ll survive.”

And so would she.

It was plain weird the next morning dressing in her power suit. She’d become used to the jeans and tee and Samantha didn’t recognize the woman staring back from the mirror. And it wasn’t just the formality of her Stella McCartney suit, it was her perception of herself.

Her usual critical reaction was absent. She was looking at herself through new eyes. She could see the soft pinkness of her mouth and the way her waist curved into her hips and her glowing skin and the way her hair framed her face and the lushness of her cleavage. She was seeing herself as a desirable woman. As Nick saw her.

And damn if she didn’t look good!

She couldn’t not stop in at Birdie’s on the way to the office. Unfortunately the aroma of old books and peppermint tickled her nostrils, completely obliterating the last of her lukewarm anticipation over going back to her high-powered job.

She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay. She wanted to kick off her shoes, grab a Larry and Stretch , ask Nick for a coffee and throw herself on the lounge.

He kissed her when she drew level with him. Kissed her like it had been an age since he’d last done it even though it had only been an hour. “I don’t want to go,” she admitted when they finally broke apart.

The real world had intruded into their tinted paradise and soon he would be gone and nothing would ever be the same.

“Yes, you do.” He brushed his thumb along her bottom lip. “The minute you walk through the doors, it’ll be like you never left. And you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

A few months ago, she’d have agreed wholeheartedly. Right now, she wasn’t so sure. Getting back on the horse was the established path but maybe she didn’t want that anymore?

The phone rang. “Let me. One last time.”

He smiled as he picked up the receiver and handed it over. “Good morning, Birdie’s Second-Hand Romance Bookshop, this is Samantha.”

It was for Nick so Samantha passed the phone back before taking a turn around the bookshelves, touching the spines, losing herself temporarily in their familiar feel and smell.

“Well, that’s a very generous offer, Steve,” she heard Nick say. And then, “I’m not sure I’m there yet…” Followed by, “I’ll think about it.”

She realized she was eavesdropping and picked a random book off the shelf and concentrated on the blurb until Nick said goodbye. Replacing the book she wandered out from the shelves. “Who’s Steve?”

“An ESPN executive. Sounding me out about a sportscaster gig.”

“Oh.” She blinked. “ Wow .”

He shrugged. “Yep.”

“Why would he do that when you’re still playing?”

“It’s not the first offer I’ve ever had. You hit a certain age and the sharks begin to circle. Add in an injury and…”

“But you’re not interested, right?”

“I’m not ready to hang up my skates just yet.”

Samantha realized she’d been holding her breath hoping that he might be having the same kind of doubt over his direction as she was over hers but his response was quick and definitive.

Of course.

Just because they’d slept together and her eggs had decided he was the one, didn’t mean it was reciprocated. They’d been having fun until their lives took them in a different direction.

Period.

And suddenly she was exceptionally grateful to be heading back to her old job. She was going to miss him like crazy so the distraction of sorting out Ray’s mess would be perfect. The next month or so in particular would require a lot of dedication and hard work, a lot of long hours and frankly, it couldn’t have happened at a better time.

She’d use the guise of work to undertake a gradual withdrawal from Nick. A slow wean so when he wasn’t here anymore the pain wouldn’t be so bad.

And she wouldn’t do something crazy like ask him to stay.

Everyone greeted her warmly as she alighted the elevator on the twelfth floor, and there was a huge bouquet of flowers waiting for her on the desk in her new office. There was a brief moment of triumph as she fingered her new Porsche key ring, standing at the full-length window. Her corner office gave her a 180-degree view of the city.

She had done it. She’d really done it.

Bob’s office was her next port of call and after much sucking up they got down to business. Samantha had to hand it to Ray. Even she hadn’t thought he’d screw up this badly.

She threw herself straight into it, preferring to work and let her mind be absorbed by figures, profit and loss, tax laws and company policy rather than Nick and the shop. Which worked really well until she reached for a Post-it-note pad to find it was one of the personalized ones Nick had bought for her birthday and the floodgates opened on her Nick memories.

Suddenly the million-dollar views and her new sports car and the ego-inflating devotion Bob was showing faded into insignificance. But she determinedly pushed the thoughts aside as she swapped out the pad for a plain orange one bearing the company logo.

She did not have time to daydream about Nick.

By the time five o’clock came around however, she could ignore her Nick thoughts no longer. He’d called after lunch to tell her about a Rita Summers that had come into the store and he’d sounded so good she hadn’t been fully able to concentrate on work ever since.

She knew she should stay behind. God knew there was enough work to keep her in the office until midnight for at least a month so she should be responsible. Reliable. The person Bob was depending on, but she couldn’t.

Yes, she was using work to wean herself off Nick, but it was pointless going cold turkey on her first day. Right? She could start the wean tomorrow.

Nick glanced up from the till as the door opened and there she was in her designer suit and her slicked back hair. Hell , he’d missed her.

Meeting her halfway across the floor, he welcomed the impact as their bodies collided. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. Never let her leave the shop or his side. He had missed her every second. Her laughter, her perfume, her banter and conversation.

The customers had missed her as well. Dulcie had lamented her absence and both Kelly and Sally had been disappointed to find only Nick manning the shop in their lunch break. They had all sat with their coffee chatting about Samantha.

It had felt like a wake.

And then she kissed him and it was all he could do not to back her onto the chaise lounge and take her right here in the shop. The windows were tinted and they could lock the door and he was aching to be inside her. And not just physically.

“How was it?” he asked, pulling away reluctantly, knowing this wasn’t all about him.

“It was soooo good to be back, Nick.” She beamed at him. “The office has the best view and” – she delved in her bag and pulled out a car key with a Porsche tag – “ta-da!”

Nick whistled and smiled then kissed her again because she was excited about her career getting back on track and he was too. Not because of the Porsche but because this was her dream and she deserved all the good things.

Flipping the sign to closed, Nick locked up and they made their way upstairs, Samantha regaling him with stories about her day. They dined together in his apartment then made wild, passionate love on his living room floor. Twice.

Because he knew it was all slipping away and he didn’t want it to. But it couldn’t be stopped either. All he could do was commit every detail of her face, her body to memory. And hope that she was doing the same. And who knew, maybe one day, they’d look back in fondness at the wonderful crazy months they’d shared in his grandmother’s second-hand romance bookshop and smile.

Three weeks later, Samantha was standing at her window looking out at the view. She’d been working like a dog – in at seven each morning, not home till after eleven each night. Weekends also. There’d been no time for friands or curling up with a Rita at Birdie’s.

And certainly no time for Nick.

He’d been understanding but she could feel him withdrawing, too. Which made sense. He was leaving for Canada for pre-season training in eight days, so the writing was definitely on the wall.

Hell, they hadn’t slept together in over a week.

Bob’s assistant knocked and entered, leaving a bunch of files on her desk with a smile. Shiny new files used to excite her – not anymore. There was nothing. No rush at the challenge, or showing how indispensable she was.

She should be feeling great . She had everything she wanted. But she wasn’t.

Because Nick was leaving next week and nothing felt right. Not the view, not the Porsche, not the corner office. She stared at her reflection and suddenly hated what she saw. A city career girl. Cool and calm and capable. And… boring!

She hadn’t felt boring at Birdie’s. She’d felt cool and interesting and valued. And yeah, the pay was lousy and the prestige was non-existent but here she was, standing at the pinnacle of her so-called career with money and prestige to burn and her life sucked .

Again.