Briar Valley: The Complete Duet

5. Killian

CHAPTER 5

KILLIAN

SILENT LOVE – JAMES BAY

Heaving Albie’s unconscious body into his room, I dump him on the bed. He can’t sleep in Lola’s bed after she died there. Even if it’s empty and available. The undertakers took her body to Highbridge a few hours ago.

Ryder was no help either. He passed out with his head on the dining table after single-handedly polishing off a bottle of rum. I can handle my liquor, but the world is spinning even for me.

We spent the whole day making a list of what needs to be done. Funeral arrangements, property deeds, complicated legal matters that always seem ridiculous when your loved one is dead.

But life is a cruel motherfucking bitch, and this isn’t my first rodeo. I had to grow up fast and take over when my folks died too. I’m always the one to pick up the broken pieces.

“Where’s Lola?” Albie mumbles drunkenly.

“Sleep it off, Al. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Lo,” he whines.

“She isn’t here. Sleep.”

With a grumble, he passes the hell out again. I leave him to wallow alone and stumble back into the living room in their cabin. Ryder hasn’t moved an inch on the table.

Grabbing a cushion from the sofa, I prop it underneath his head then throw a blanket over his shoulders to make him a little more comfortable. We’re all going to have sore heads tomorrow.

It’s dark outside, but the heavy dousing of snow somehow manages to brighten the world into a weird, twilight state. When I was a kid, I used to get so excited to watch the first snow fall.

It always made me think of fresh starts and so many endless opportunities in the blank, powdery canvas that would settle over town. Tonight is no different.

Months of pain and torment have all come down to this. While inebriated, Ryder let it slip that Willow was on her way home. I told him that I’ll believe that when I see it, already steeling myself against the disappointment.

Perhaps this is our fresh start. A second chance. Or maybe I’m a stupid old fool, destined to get my heart crushed. Crunching through the snow, I’m nearly home when I freeze on the spot.

There are footsteps imprinted in the snow around my parked truck. I follow without thinking, the roar of my heartbeat in my ears the only sound that I can hear.

The footsteps lead across the cobblestone road towards the lake behind Willow’s still-dark cabin, cloaked in frozen icicles and crisp, cold darkness.

But there’s something else.

A person.

Sitting cross-legged at the lake’s frozen edge, a figure stares out into the nothingness. I can just make out the curl of dark, raven hair beneath a baseball cap, far shorter than I remember.

A thick lump gathers in my throat as I draw to a halt several metres away. She’s shivering beneath the knitted blanket wrapped around her shoulders and familiar, curved body.

“Willow?” I say like a prayer.

Shoulders trembling, her head turns to spare me a brief, tear-logged glance. Our gazes collide, amber on hazel, despair on grief. Love on irretrievable loss.

“Kill,” she sobs.

I’m stuck between running for my life and gathering the bundle of bones into my arms. It’s her. My light. My love. The breaker and fixer of my long-dead heart.

“Willow,” I repeat.

“Please… I can’t do this right now. I want to be alone.”

“You haven’t seen me for months, and that’s all you have to say? You don’t want to see me?”

Her head drops, hands moving to cover her face as she turns back towards the lake. “I never got to say goodbye.”

The pain in her voice crushes my heart. Tentatively approaching her, I ease myself down next to her in the snow. Neither of us touch, keeping a safe distance.

I manage a quick look at her pale face, lit by the blanket of white all around us. Crystalline flakes of snow pepper the surface of the lake and blanket our surroundings in silence.

“Lola loved you,” I reply simply. “And she knew that you loved her. That’s all that matters.”

“I just wish I could’ve told her,” Willow whimpers. “Last time we spoke, I hung up on her. I was so tired of the same old argument.”

“What argument?”

“I was tired of running. Tired of fighting her. All I wanted was to shut my eyes and wake up here, surrounded by my family.”

Anger shoots through me. “You never should have left.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

I shrug, the alcohol in my veins loosening my tongue. “I think you didn’t care enough to stay. We didn’t matter enough.”

Willow suddenly stands up, looming over me on shaking legs. She rips the cap from her head, letting her shorn black hair tumble down to her shoulders.

Her furious eyes strip me down to the core with a mere look. Pain. Anguish. Indecision. Grief. Hope. Despair. It’s all there in myriad, confusing shades of hazel-tinged chaos.

“If that’s what you believe, then you’re not the person I thought you were,” she utters. “I left to keep my daughter safe, not to spite you or your ego.”

“Baby—”

“Don’t baby me, Kill. I was in love with you. I still fucking am. I’ve spent every day dreaming of when I could come home.”

“So why didn’t you?” I ask pointedly.

Rather than answering me, she turns and storms off, away from the lake and her cabin. I hesitate for only a second before chasing after her like a dog following a dangled bone.

“Wait!”

When I grab her arm, she yanks it free from my grasp, her teeth gritted against an angry hiss. I’ve kicked the hornet’s nest now.

“Do not grab me,” Willow warns.

I let my hand drop. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m drunk and stupid and… I’m so fucked up. I don’t work without you, princess.”

“I can’t be what you want me to be. I have to protect Arianna. That’s why I stayed away. Not to punish you or to be a bitch, but because it wasn’t safe to be here.”

Inching closer to her, I reach out, driven by desperation alone. She stares at me with such pain, but she still refuses to budge. I close the final distance between us and tug her into my arms instead.

Fuck asking for permission.

She collapses against me in a weightless puddle of exhaustion. Crushing her into my barrel chest, the rage I’ve felt since she left dissipates into sheer relief.

“I’ve got you,” I whisper into her hair. “You don’t have to walk alone anymore. I’m here, baby.”

“You’re not,” she replies.

“Let me be the judge of that. I swear to whatever God is out there, I’m never letting you go again. Even if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Good, because that is not happening. We deal with this as a family from here forward.”

“You’d take me back? After everything?” she scoffs.

I brush my lips against her temple, my throat locked up tight. “I never let you go. Not once.”

“Me neither, Kill.”

Releasing her, I glower at the dark circles beneath her eyes. The unmitigated exhaustion reflected back physically pains me. She looks dead on her feet and barely functioning.

“When was the last time you slept?”

Peeling herself away from me, she takes my hand. “I don’t know. We arrived early this morning after travelling through the night.”

“Why didn’t you sleep?”

“I couldn’t rest, knowing you were out there, hurting all alone. Arianna’s gone back to bed inside.”

“Come to bed, then,” I plead shamelessly. “Just let me hold you for tonight. Everything else can wait.”

Willow bites her lip and nods. “Okay.”

Hand in hand, we walk back up the garden, leaving the empty cabin and all its memories alone. I hold the front door open for her to enter the warmth.

“After you.”

She flashes me a brief smile. “Thanks.”

Stepping into the dark kitchen, I shake snow from my long mane of dirty blonde hair. The light in Micah’s workshop is glowing from the bottom of the garden, but I don’t bother to disturb him.

Willow’s been through enough for one day without discovering how much of a mess he’s become in her absence. I’m sure Zach’s only given her a PG-rated version of that disastrous tale.

“I should check on Ari.”

“Where is she?”

Willow walks down the hallway. “In Zach’s bed, I think.”

After pausing to check on Arianna, fast asleep in Zach’s arms in his bedroom, Willow lets herself into my room at the end of the hall. I hesitate, taking a peep in at the little monster myself.

Fuck.

An invisible weight lifts off my chest at the sight of the tiny, blonde-haired lump curled up under the bedsheets with my snoring cousin. I’ve missed that fucking kid and her sharp tongue.

Seeing her asleep and so innocent looking, the impenetrable wall of ice around my heart begins to crack. Only a couple of millimetres, but enough to let a shred of warmth in.

Willow did what she thought was necessary to keep Arianna safe. If I were in her position, I doubt I would have done any differently. I just wish she’d trusted us to protect them both.

The anger is still there. Simmering. Cooking away on a rolling boil, ready to explode. But not tonight. Right now, I’m grateful. She’s back and alive. That’s enough for me.

“Killian?” Willow sighs.

“Coming.”

When I reach my darkened bedroom, I stop dead in the doorway. Willow has removed her wet, snow-stained sweater, and she’s slowly peeling her tight yoga pants over her hips.

“Stop staring,” she snaps.

“Can’t help it, princess.”

Studying the scrap of panties left on her body and the swell of her bare breasts, I nearly lose sight of what we’re doing here in the first place.

She needs to trust me again. I can’t be a caveman, no matter how much I want to bury myself in her right now, bad blood be damned. My primal self wants to devour her whole.

Pulling off my own t-shirt and ditching my jeans, I slowly approach and gather her tiny body into my arms. She’s lost so much weight. Even I can tell in the darkness of the room.

“You haven’t been eating?” I trace her ribcage.

“Not now, Kill. Please just hold me.”

Easily lifting her, I crawl into the unmade bed, draping her across my bare chest. Willow burrows closer, slotting into my side like we were made for each other, lock and key.

“I missed this so much,” she murmurs.

“Yeah,” I croak. “Me too.”

“You have no idea how many times I dreamed that I was right here with you.”

“I have a pretty good idea.”

Staring up at the ceiling, I clear my thick throat and prepare to lay it all on the line just as footsteps move through the cabin and the light from a phone flashes into the room.

“Willow?” Zach whisper-shouts.

“In here,” she responds without moving. “I’m with Killian.”

He stares in at us with sheer longing. “Arianna’s asleep. Mind if I join you guys?”

“After your stunt earlier?” Willow drones.

Zach remains silent. I don’t bother to ask. He’s far angrier than he’ll ever let on after months of dealing with Micah’s self-destruction. I’m sure he gave her a hard time.

“Fine.” Willow breaks the silence. “Come in.”

I roll my eyes, shifting Willow over so there’s space behind her for Zach to slide into my bed. Luckily, it’s big enough for all three of us.

“Come on, kid. Before I change my mind.”

“You won’t break my legs if I climb in?” Zach asks with a low chuckle.

“If you start snoring, then no promises. Keep your fucking mouth shut for once, and we won’t have an issue.”

Zach rips his t-shirt over his head. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Once he’s stepped out of his jeans, he approaches the bed, easing in and trapping Willow between us. She recoils, seeming reluctant to let him cuddle her at first, but eventually gives in.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” Zach mumbles.

“Guess I deserved it.”

“No. You didn’t.”

“What did you do?” I ask tiredly.

Zach keeps his mouth shut. Not even Willow is willing to tell me what happened. Fluffing my pillow, I reposition myself into a comfier place on the bed.

“Whatever. Don’t tell me.”

The silent minutes tick by, broken only by the featherlight patter of heavy snow falling outside my window. My eyes are too heavy to hold open, as much as I want to cherish Willow’s warmth.

“Can somebody pinch me?” Zach whispers into the darkness. “I’m not entirely convinced this is real.”

Willow jabs him in the ribs with her elbow. “Real enough for you? Some of us are trying to sleep here.”

“Noted,” Zach groans in pain.

“Shut up, the pair of you.” I press a kiss against Willow’s soft neck. “I’m drunk and tired. Talk in the morning.”

“Killian’s drunk?”

“Apparently,” Willow surmises.

“I always wondered what that would look like.”

“Zach,” I warn again. “Zip it, loudmouth.”

Falling silent, Willow lets out a contented sigh between us. Just feeling her in my arms again, stroking her soft skin, inhaling her familiar, sweet scent… Fuck me.

It almost makes the last five months of pain, anger and regret worth it. Almost . But nothing can ever bring that time back to us, and I have no guarantee that she won’t do it all over again.

The only thing that will keep her here, safe in my arms, is if I bring her that asshole’s head on a stake. Then she’ll finally be free to live the life she’s always wanted.

Challenge accepted.

I’ll cut it off myself.