Briar Valley: The Complete Duet

7. Willow

CHAPTER 7

WILLOW

HOW DO I SAY GOODBYE – DEAN LEWIS

Within the week, the time to say goodbye to Lola has rolled around, and she’s ready to take her final resting place next to my grandfather, Pops.

Finishing off Arianna’s braided hair with a glossy black bow that Killian appeared with, I gently pat her shoulder. She’s wearing a simple, black skater dress and shiny new brogues.

“You’re done, baby.”

Her bottom lip wobbles. “Thanks, Mummy.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to say goodbye to Grams.”

Turning her around, I pull her into a tight cuddle. “This isn’t goodbye, Ari. You’ll see her again one day. I promise you.”

Her icy blue eyes shine with tears. “Swear it?”

“Swear it.” I cross a finger over my heart. “Now go and find Killian and Zach. I have to help Micah for a moment.”

Once she’s gone, I leave the spare room we’ve slept in for the last few days and move to Micah’s bedroom across the hall. I haven’t found the courage to return to our abandoned cabin yet.

We’ve barely stepped outside, only to reunite with Ryder and Albie yesterday. Everyone else has kindly stayed away to give us the space we needed to adjust and rest after our journey home.

Letting myself into Micah’s room, I find the curtains drawn and a lump beneath the covers. I heard him come in late last night after ignoring me for the last few days he’s spent in his studio.

My plain black shift dress bunches around my thighs as I kneel on his bed and shake him as gently as possible to wake him up.

“Come on, Micah. You need to get showered. The funeral begins in an hour.”

“Not going,” he groans.

“You sure as hell are.”

Refusing to let him wallow, I peel back the covers then pull on his ankle until he’s forced to sit up. My breathing halts. Even with the weight he’s lost, his body is carved in lean, muscular lines.

And he’s naked.

Completely. Freaking. Naked.

“Where are your pyjamas?” I squeak.

He cracks a yawn. “Don’t sleep in them.”

Squeezing my eyes shut to offer him a semblance of privacy, I keep tugging on his ankle. “Shower. Now.”

“Don’t like what you see?”

“I didn’t say that.”

He eventually agrees to shower after a lot of hungover complaining. When he unsteadily stands up, I’m forced to open my eyes and balance him as we stumble into his en suite bathroom.

“How on earth did it come to this?” he asks groggily.

Leaning him against the bathroom sink, I bypass the bathtub that’s full of our shared memories and flick on his small shower in the corner.

“I don’t know.”

I can feel his eyes on me, hot and searing. His gaze burns me down to the bone and leaves me feeling shaken.

“You look different. When did you cut your hair?”

“Shortly after I left Briar Valley.” I check the water’s temperature then step back. “Alright, get in. Clean yourself up.”

Micah hesitates. “Can you stay?”

Trapped by uncertainty, I nod. “Sure.”

“Thanks.”

He sneaks past me and climbs into the warm spray, his shoulders curved over like he bears the weight of the whole world on his back. Even showering is a monumental task.

Clicking the door shut, I lean against the wall and let Micah wash in silence. He takes regular pauses to rest on the tiles, exhausted by even the smallest of tasks, obviously feeling like shit.

I get it.

Depression is a killer.

I’ve been in that dark place myself, where everything is too much and what should be the simplest of tasks, like brushing your teeth or eating, feels like climbing Mount Everest instead.

Flicking the water off, he opens the door, and I hand him a towel from the rack. The tiniest smile blooms on his face at the simple gesture.

“You don’t need to do this.”

“Would you have showered if I didn’t?” I challenge.

“Well, no.”

“Then I’ll stand here and make you shower every single day until you’re able to do it alone. I’m not going anywhere.”

“For now,” he says sadly.

Unable to argue with him, I head for his wardrobe to look for something suitable to wear, the pad of his wet feet following me. His wardrobe is full of t-shirts and ratty pairs of jeans that won’t work.

Micah taps a zipped dress bag. “I wore this to my Aunt and Uncle’s funeral. It should still fit.”

I’m too afraid to unzip the bag for fear of the grief and sadness that may wash out of it in a tidal wave if I do. Instead, I grab a fresh black t-shirt and a pair of semi-tidy jeans.

“Here. You don’t need to be fancy.”

Leaving him to get dressed in peace, I find the other two sitting with Arianna in the living room. Killian’s wearing his usual flannel shirt and jeans, though he’s cleaned up his beard and picked a pair without holes.

Zach is the only one wearing all black with a long-sleeved dress shirt tucked into his tight black jeans. He’s trimmed his hair and also shaved for the occasion, lightening his shadow-lined face.

“Micah’s just coming.”

“Did you get him to shower?” Zach frowns.

“He’s showered and getting dressed.”

He whistles under his breath. “Neither of us have managed that.”

“I didn’t exactly ask nicely.”

Killian snorts in amusement. “Nice work.”

We wait until Micah makes an appearance—pale-faced and contrite—but actually resembling a human being. His twin and cousin both stare at him like he’s an alien.

“Shit,” Zach curses. “He’s alive.”

Micah flips him the bird. “Fuck off.”

“Little ears!” I scold them.

Laughing to herself in Killian’s lap, Arianna is thoroughly enjoying their antics. She missed having them all around to fill the silence.

We filter out of the cabin to join Albie and Ryder outside in the snow. The moment Ryder sees me, I’m pulled into his engine grease-scented embrace for a cuddle.

“You holding up okay?”

“Yeah,” I reply flatly.

“You don’t need to pretend around me, sweetheart. We’re going to get through today as a family. All of us.”

His headful of dark ringlets tickle my face as he pulls back to pin me with his warm blue eyes and reassuring smile that match his handsome looks. I’ve missed my friend so much.

“Promise,” he adds.

“Thanks, Ry.”

Passing me off to Albie, the silver-haired grump pulls me into another hug. His clear eyes are already covered in a sheen of tears. I’ve never seen him in a suit before. He looks strange.

“I’m so sorry, Al.”

“Me too, kid. Never thought I’d see this day come.”

“None of us did.”

Interrupting our moment, Arianna is squealing at the top of her lungs as she jumps through the fresh tides of snow that fell last night. Killian stops me before I can shush her shouting.

“She’s letting her hair down,” he explains simply.

I reluctantly back off. “Alright.”

Lord knows, she hasn’t had the opportunity to do that of late. Not while cooped up in the cramped space of our old apartment, watching the rain hit against the windows.

We begin the slippery walk into town together. Snow covers everything from the branches of pine and fir trees to the slick, cobbled stones that carve the winding path beneath our feet.

I’d forgotten just how beautiful Briar Valley is. Mount Helena hangs high above us in sharp, jagged points that boast an even heavier dousing of snow, while white-dusted shrubs and trees cloak us in a sarcophagus.

Zach catches up to me and takes my hand in his. “You ready for this? The whole town is gonna be there.”

“Not really, but I don’t have a choice.”

“You don’t have to stay for long. Just get the service out of the way, and show your face.”

“I can’t bail on my own grandmother’s funeral.”

His fingers clench mine. “You do whatever you need to get through this in one piece. Fuck everyone else and what they need from you. That isn’t our priority.”

I stop in the snow. “What is your priority, Zach?”

Letting the others pass us, he tilts my chin up and exposes my lips to him. Our mouths meet—hesitantly, tender and exploratory, fuelled by the uncertainty our separation has doomed us with.

“You,” he murmurs into my mouth. “It’s always been you, Willow.”

A tingle runs down my spine. “Does this mean you’ve forgiven me for leaving?”

“It means that I’m tired of hating you, and I want my family back. We’ve already lost enough. Today, more than ever, we need each other.”

“I need you too,” I blurt.

He kisses me again, harder this time. “You’ve got me, babe. I never stopped loving you. It would take the end of this damn world for that to happen, and even then I’d follow you into the beyond.”

Somehow, I smile. “Ditto.”

“Then we’re on the same page.”

Curling into his side, I let him guide me down the steep slopes that descend into the town centre. Familiar faces begin to appear around us, staring at me with varying degrees of shock.

“Willow,” Harold bellows while walking into town with his wife, Marilyn. “You’re back.”

I manage a weak wave. “I’m here.”

To my surprise, he captures me in a hug when we rejoin the others. His silvery whiskers tickle my face before he releases me, and Marilyn smacks a wet kiss on my cheek.

“We missed you around here,” she explains with a tight smile. “Especially this one.”

Harold harrumphs at her comment. “Scared the hell out of me, Willow. Where’d you go?”

“Around,” I answer vaguely.

“You back for good?”

Before I can come up with some half-assed answer to get him off my back, the scream of another familiar voice interrupts our reunion.

In the town square, Aalia is standing next to Johan and a tall, dark-haired man with two children. She takes one look at me approaching and freaks out.

“Willow!” she yells.

Aalia races towards me as fast as her skidding snow boots beneath an ankle-length, beaded dress will allow. We collide somewhere in the middle in a sobbing, happy tangle.

“Hi, Aalia.”

“I can’t believe it’s you,” she weeps.

I stroke her long brown hair, the coarse strands framing olive-toned skin, deep, almond-shaped eyes and pillowy lips. She’s stunning and looks spotless, even with two kids to look after.

Looking over her shoulder, I realise that the man standing with her is holding baby Amie on his hip. It’s Walker, the gentleman Katie introduced at my party, with his kids.

We join him in the town square where the guys exchange handshakes with him. Walker nods to me, passing a much-bigger Amie back to Aalia before she starts to cry.

“Willow, right?”

I tentatively shake his hand too. “You remembered.”

“Hard to forget that party, it ended pretty spectacularly.” His gaze saddens. “Your grams made a hell of a scene with Katie, if I’m remembering correctly.”

“She sure did.”

“Sorry for your loss.”

“Thanks.”

Aalia touches my arm. “We mean it, Willow. I know this can’t be easy for you. We’re here if you need anything.”

“I appreciate that.”

Arianna has bundled Johan in a hug. The pair are clearly glad to see each other. Aalia kisses her next while Zach fawns over Amie, pulling ridiculous expressions to satisfy her almost one-year-old mind.

We pass countless friendly faces and smiles as we head into Lola’s cabin to meet the others. Albie trails at the back of our group, requiring Killian to strong-arm him back inside.

In the living room, Doc, Miranda and Rachel are clustered around the lit, open fireplace, awaiting our arrival. They all give me kisses and hugs, whispering their gratitude that I’ve returned.

Katie has also made an appearance with her fiancé, Don. She moves to embrace me first. I hug her back to the surprise of the entire room watching us interact.

“You good?” she murmurs.

“Bearing up,” I force out.

“I’m here if you need to talk, darling.”

“Thank you, Katie.”

There’s a dull ache behind my eyes already. Plastering on a smile and pretending like I won’t run again at the drop of a hat is getting challenging. Worse still, I know from Killian’s grimace that he sees through my act.

“Willow,” Ryder calls from the doorway. “You remember my boyfriend, Ethan.”

Ah, shit.

After filtering into the house and brushing snow from his dark blue suit and grey pea coat, Ethan offers me what he must think is an easy smile, but I can see the tension behind it.

“Nice to see you again, Willow.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “You too.”

“I’ve been trying to get in tou?—”

“Are we ready to go now?” I interrupt.

Ethan’s mouth snaps shut, and understanding filters into his gaze. I offer him the subtlest shake of my head to warn him off from attempting to broach that topic. Not in front of the guys.

“She’s in the kitchen,” Doc answers. “If you want to say a private goodbye first.”

“S-Sure.” I glance at Arianna. “Can you guys watch her please?”

Zach nods, an arm wrapped around her shoulders. “We’ll wait here.”

Before I can escape, Killian steps into the path of the doorway. I’m forced to look up into his bonfire eyes.

“Need me to come with you?” he growls.

“I’ll be fine, Kill.”

His eyes move lower to my covered up arms. “Sure about that?”

A hot blush creeps across my neck. “Yes.”

“Fine. But I’ll be right outside.”

It feels like an eternity before he eventually moves aside so I can pass him and Ethan by. The burning, hot weight of his gaze follows me all the way into the kitchen where I click the door shut.

My breath seizes.

The coffin has been placed on the kitchen table where nearly a whole year ago, I woke up, penniless and afraid in an unknown place. That was the day I met Lola and discovered the family I always had.

She welcomed me into town with open arms and did absolutely everything in her power to look after me. Even when I pushed her away out of pain and spite, she refused to budge.

I’ll never get to thank her for that.

She deserved to know how much she was loved.

Thankfully, the coffin is closed. I take a seat in one of the kitchen chairs and rest a hand atop the smooth mahogany lid, inscribed with her name and the word Grams . That’s when the tears come flooding back.

“I’m so sorry,” I gasp in pain.

The coffin is silent.

“I wasn’t here to say goodbye. You begged me to come home, and all I did was ignore you. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.”

Still, she cannot answer me. That sweet, lilting voice, simultaneously filled with the gentlest brand of love and her own personal sense of supreme authority, will never speak to me again.

My hand strokes the coffin’s lid. “I need to say thank you for everything you did for me and Arianna. I didn’t know what it felt like to be loved or have a real family until I met you.”

In my head, I can see her. Twinkle-eyed and acid-tongued. She tuts at me for apologising and pulls me into her cookie-scented embrace for a cuddle that will never be replicated.

“Thank you.” I sniff, wiping my tears aside. “Thanks for saving my life and for giving my little girl a home. Thank you for giving us safety and security when we needed it most. Thank you… for being my Grams.”

Standing up, I press a kiss on the inscribed metal plaque that’s attached to the coffin then force myself to walk away from the woman who saved my life in the absolute darkest of times.

It’s the hardest goodbye.

Lola is gone forever.