Broken Bonds (Unbreakable Bonds #1)

Chapter Fourteen

chapter fourteen

ACE

A few minutes later, I stood to my feet, picking up the heavy bag and tightening the straps over my shoulders. The familiar ache settled in my bones as we headed for the edge of the overhang. The rain hadn’t stopped, and I could hear her wet shoes slapping against the ground behind me as she rushed to catch up, considering I hadn’t waited for her.

We walked side by side for another hour. I didn’t know how to start a conversation with her. I had never been just friends with a girl, especially not one I wanted to fuck so badly . She was under my skin. I just wanted to scratch the itch, but I couldn’t . She was off limits. Her older brother was my best friend, for fuck’s sake.

Her phone suddenly rang, and she stopped to answer it quickly. I blinked back into the moment as her side of the conversation reached my ears, thankfully dragging me away from thoughts of Celine I should not be having.

“I’m with Ace, remember? I’m not alone,” she said to whoever was on the other side of the conversation. At least she wasn’t calling me ‘asshole’ anymore. That was an improvement.

“It wasn’t your fault, Ryan, and this time isn’t, either. Ace isn’t Aidan. I’m not going to die. I promise you, Ryan, I’m going to be okay. It’s just an adventure,” a small laugh spilled from her lips, sounding like music to my ears, “a really scary adventure.” I knew she was talking to her brother now, and it wasn’t a good conversation considering he was comparing me to her ass of an ex.

“I told him about the accident.” I stopped and looked at her. How many people had she told? Was telling me not as special as she made it seem? I hated that the thought of her trusting just anyone with her painful history pissed me off.

“No.” She was staring at me now, fear in her eyes again. My feet were aching to take me closer to her, but I wouldn’t dare. I had to keep my distance from her.

“I won’t, Ryan. I promise I won’t.” She held the phone out to me. I bit back a sigh; this couldn’t be good.

“I don’t know how much she’s told you, Ace, but she’s the strongest person I know, and if you break her, I swear to God, I don’t care about your bad background, I’ll become your worst nightmare,” Ryan growled before I could even manage a hello. “You better not give her any mixed signals. Your job is to keep her safe because I can’t be there.”

“Yes, I know, Ryan,” I said, staring at my feet as I continued walking.

“She’s vulnerable, Ace,” he snapped. “Do not touch her.”

I bit back another sigh. I was too tired for this shit. “Nothing has happened. I told you nothing would.”

“Better not be,” Ryan snapped.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m doing as you asked me. I’m keeping her safe. She’s hydrated, and she’s eaten.”

“What about warmth?” Ryan demanded. I scowled at my soaked boots. “Rest? She might get sick, Ace.”

He was quickly wearing on my nerves. Why hadn’t he just gone to the beachhouse instead of her? Why had she been the one to go? But I didn’t say any of that out loud.

“I can’t help the fact that we’re soaked to the bone, and she might get sick. I’m doing my best in a crappy situation, bro.”

Ryan heaved a tired, worried sigh, and some of my anger bled out of me, too. I knew he was worried. But I couldn’t help but place some of this blame on his shoulders, too. A better brother would’ve gone to the beach house so she didn’t have to.

“Just get her to safety,” Ryan grumbled.

What the fuck did he think I was trying to do?

“Stop being an ass,” I snapped. Celine was ahead of me now, and I picked up my pace to walk beside her again. “Did your dad find out if there’s a shelter at the school he mentioned?”

“Yes,” Ryan assured me. “According to the location I have for you guys from Find My Friends, you’re just short of two and a half hours away.”

God, that felt like so far still. “What’s the school’s name so I can check maps for how far it is?”

“Atlantic Community High, but if you find something closer, go there instead. I don’t know how much longer she’ll be able to walk. She has some underlying injuries that have never healed.” Well, that was certainly something I should have known before all this shit. Seriously, why hadn’t she said anything? Her parents? I glared at the back of Celine’s head for a moment.

“Okay, we’ll call later when we make it. Hopefully, there’s power at the shelter and a phone charger so we can keep in touch until you’re allowed back into the area. Worst case, we’ll stay there until it’s safe to travel, and then, I’ll get us transportation to your house.”

“Please tell Celine I love her. And take care of yourself, too, bro.”

I grunted. “Yeah, I’ll tell her. Bye.” I pocketed her phone, not knowing how to answer him. I wasn’t used to anyone caring about me anymore. Hadn’t been used to it for a long time.

“Tell me what?” Celine asked, looking at me.

A quiet, barely-audible sigh escaped my lips. “He loves you.”

We didn’t make it before dark. The sky was pitch black as we sought shelter beneath another gas station overhang, and I could hardly see in front of me anymore. As much as I didn’t like it, Celine and I would have to spend the night there and just hope for the best. Celine was clearly afraid, fear lingering in her pretty eyes, but I didn’t know how to help her. So, I did the only thing I knew to do, using warmth as an excuse to do so.

I wrapped her shaking body up in my arms.

We ended up sleeping like that, huddling together for warmth, and it was everything I had needed for years . The silent warmth, the feel of a woman’s body against mine—Celine’s body—her softness, the sweet smell of her damp hair… I wanted to share everything with this girl. I wanted her to know that I understood how much pain she was in. Fuck, I wanted to take that pain and make it my own just so she didn’t have to live with it anymore.

But more than anything, I just wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone.

The next morning, things were looking even worse than they had the day before. I got us on the move as soon as possible, knowing we needed to hurry to reach shelter. The water from the ocean was already past the beach. We didn’t have much time.

An hour passed, and the rain stopped, but our relief was short-lived because five minutes later, it started pouring again—harder. Celine was starting to lag behind, not keeping pace with me anymore. I wondered what Ryan meant last night about her injuries not healing all the way. Did it have something to do with the limp she was beginning to sport?

I slowed down to walk beside her. “I heard you screaming the other night.” I didn’t know why I blurted it, but suddenly, I needed to know why she’d been screaming. If she was really as wrecked as me when it came to our history. If she relived the same horrors each night, just like I did.

“What are you talking about?” She wouldn’t look at me, her gaze firmly rooted on the ground. “I don’t scream in my sleep. Maybe you were dreaming about me,” she snapped. I always used anger to hide the truth, and I wondered if she was like me. If she was trying to deflect or brush me off, much as I did to everyone else when they dug too deep.

I scowled at her. “Don’t try to blame it on a dream. I heard you! You screamed the first night, which woke me, and the other night, too. If you hadn’t been screaming your head off, I wouldn’t have woken up and heard the water rushing in. You were screaming his name over and over.” I started to walk faster when I saw a green BurgerFi sign.

We had to be close. Thank God .

“You must’ve misheard,” Celine muttered, agitation coloring her tone. “It was probably just your inner voice waking you up to save yourself. You know—God? I don’t rememb?—”

“Cut the crap, Celine!” I barked at her. She flinched, and I felt horrible. But she couldn’t hide from this. “I heard you screaming his name over and over. You were dreaming about the accident, weren’t you? You were reliving that nightmare. You don’t just recover from something like that overnight. It takes years to move on.” I stopped walking, and she slammed into my back. I turned to look at her, into those clear blue eyes, but she saw something in mine that made her glare at me.

“Why do you want to know? Maybe it was a dream about sex.”

Did she think I was stupid? Did I have to say it out loud for her to understand? I had nightmares, too. I knew all the signs, and hers matched.

I barked out a laugh. “After everything you shared with me, I know for certain you were reliving that accident. You’ve been having those nightmares since that night, haven’t you?” She wouldn’t look at me. I heaved a tired sigh. “Don’t lie to me, Celine. Don’t even think about lying.”

Should I tell her she wasn’t alone? Could I stand to be that open, that vulnerable?

“You know nothing ,” she spat, looking out to the ocean, but I needed her to look at me . I needed her to see that she shouldn’t be fighting against me, that I just wanted to help her.

She suddenly turned around, and when her eyes met mine, they were red-rimmed. Shit, I was making her cry. This wasn’t going how I expected.

“Princess, maybe I can help.” I didn’t know why I told her to look at me when her eyes were locked on mine. I didn’t know what to say anymore. I was reeling.

She scoffed. “What makes you think I need help? You can’t be all nice to me one minute, telling me you want to kiss me, then act like an asshole the next day. I’ve dealt with enough abuse and heartache. I don’t need to go through this again with another guy like Aidan. I’ve just recovered from him!” I could feel my gaze hardening as she compared me to her douchebag ex-boyfriend. “I don’t want your help, Asshole, and I don’t want your pity. I don’t want anything from you other than to get home and forget this ever happened!” she shouted.

She pushed past me and kept walking, her steps quick—much faster than before.

I saw it before she did—the big wave crashing over the wall. The water flooded rapidly flooded the road, but everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She wasn’t looking up.

Fuck, she was going to get hit with the water!

“Celine! Watch out!” I shouted, terror lacing my voice, but I was too late. Too fucking late.

Wave after wave crashed through the barrier toward her and pulled her flailing body away from me. Why wasn’t she swimming? She’d lived near the ocean her entire life. Didn’t she know how to swim with the current?

I was running toward her, but then, I saw him —Jack. My little brother. I heard his small voice calling my name, getting distorted when he swallowed the water. I blinked, finally seeing her again, her voice screaming my name. Waves were crashing into my legs, and I was losing traction.

I couldn’t let her die. I wouldn’t lose her. Not her, too.

Jack’s voice rang through my ears. “Acey, help!” His small hands reached for me through the waves, but a wave knocked me off my feet, and I was pulled away from Jack. From Celine.

“NO!” I roared, fighting to get my feet under me again.

“ACE!” Jack faded once more, and Celine’s voice broke through my haze. She was so far out now. Too far. I didn’t know if I could get to her before she got sucked out to sea.

Suddenly, the water that was pulling me away left as quickly as it came. I fell to the ground, the asphalt ripping open my bare hands and making them bleed. I couldn’t hear Celine anymore. I couldn’t move. I heard more water coming, and the next wave crashed against the barrier.

I surged to my feet, but Celine was already gone, drowning beneath another wave. I pushed to my feet, running in her direction, but she wasn’t even fighting anymore. Another wave hit before receding, yanking her even farther away from me. Another followed quickly.

There was Jack again, holding her hand. No! He couldn’t fucking take her from me.

“CELINE! SWIM!” I was running as fast as I could, but it wasn’t fast enough. It was never fast enough.

“Mom, I need you to sit down.” I heard her mumble something to Hank in the background.

“I’m sitting,” Mom began, an edge of nervousness to her voice. “What’s going on, Ace? Is Jack having his nap?” I closed my eyes, pain shooting through my heart. Tuning out the sound of the loud police department, I listened to my mother’s even breaths coming in and out over the phone. I just needed her with me. Needed her support. My body was being crushed beneath the guilt and the pain.

“Something bad happened, Mom. Really bad.” I couldn’t tell her like this. How was I supposed to tell her? I was going to throw up.

A small, warm, delicate hand gripped mine. I opened my eyes. The officer who had been by my side since the police arrived at my house was sitting next to me. She had been with me since they pulled Jack’s body from my arms—a strong, resilient force, holding my hand through it all, coaxing answers out of me that felt impossible to give. And for the life of me, I couldn’t remember her fucking name.

“Ace, baby, I’m worried. What’s going on?” My mother’s worried voice reached me again, and I cringed, wishing I could sink into myself. Disappear. She would never call me that again. She wouldn’t forgive me for this. She wouldn’t love me anymore. I’d taken away her son.

The officer with kind eyes and warm hands took the phone from my limp hand, sensing my hesitation.

“Mrs. Danvers, this is Officer Grace. I’m with your son, Ace.” She paused, looking at me, her mouth closed, and her eyes locked on mine. She squeezed my cold hand again. “Yes, Ace is okay. He wasn’t arrested. Unfortunately, I will need you to come down to the station immediately. I have Ace and Jack here with me.” She waited a moment longer and then handed me the phone.

“You didn’t tell her?” I croaked. My throat hurt from screaming and crying. My heart ached with each passing second, with each ragged heartbeat, and now, I had to face my mother and Hank.

“We don’t deliver news of death over the phone, honey. We need to do it in person to assess the situation and control it. It’s going to be okay. She’ll understand. She will forgive you. She won’t stop loving you. A mother doesn’t love one child more than the other.” She held my hand tightly for another hour until my mother stormed into the police station, Hank one step behind her.

She flew toward where I was sitting, “Where is Jack?!” she screamed, and every police officer in the room turned to look at the scene. I flinched, sinking back into my seat, wishing I could become one with it.

“Mrs. Danvers, please take a seat,” Officer Grace said calmly, and my mother narrowed her eyes and glared.

“It’s Peters, and I’d like it if you would start explaining what the hell is going on here. Where is my other son?” It was suddenly so quiet, a pin could be heard dropping. My mother didn’t take the seat beside me. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and continued to glare at Officer Grace.

“I have some bad news for you, Mr. and Mrs. Peters.” I saw Hank brace himself, looking at the officer like he knew what she was going to say, but my mother was still standing there, looking furious with me and Officer Grace. “Jack drowned this afternoon, and ? —”

My mother’s piercing, agonized scream made time stop.

She fell to her knees before Hank could move her, and her loud cries filled the silent room. “YOU!” Hank looked at me and lunged, anger in his brown eyes. A male officer near us quickly sprung into action and restrained Hank, then another backed him up, and the two men in blue held Hank back from lashing out at me. Tears streaked down my cheeks.

My mother looked at me, black tears running down her pale face from her mascara, her eyes burning red with hatred.

“Mr. and Mrs. Peters, why don’t we continue this in private?” Officer Grace hadn’t let go of my shaking hand, and her voice remained calm and steady.

“Where is my son? Where is he?” my mother screamed, clutching at her chest. And I knew right then I’d destroyed her world. My mother did love another child more than the other.

She’d always loved Jack more than me.

“When we arrived on the scene, Jack was still breathing, but he had too much water in his lungs and passed at one-fifty in the ambulance.” Officer Grace’s grip on my hand tightened.

My mother shook her head. “Where is my son?” she asked again in a broken whisper that everyone heard due to the deafening silence of the police station. Not even a single phone rang.

“I’ll take you to him.” Officer Grace let go of my hand, stood, then walked around her desk to help my mother off the ground. She put an arm around her shoulder, offering her comfort. Hank was released from the two men while two more stepped in front of me to ensure that I was protected from my furious stepfather.

My mother stopped and stared at me, her eyes void of any emotion. I flinched at the cold look. “I fucking hate you.”

Only a week had passed, but it felt like it had been a year already. The house was deadly silent and dark. Mom hadn’t left her room since we came home from the station, and Hank had been drinking from the moment he woke up until he passed out.

I was left to arrange the funeral.

I called every family member and notified the preschool and anyone who needed to know about Jack. I called my college and announced that I wouldn’t be joining the freshmen class due to a death in the family, but I promised to be there for the following semester, although I knew it was an empty promise.

It had been exactly seven days since Jack drowned in the pool outside, the pool that had been drained by Hank the day we came home. Jack’s toys were still littered all over the lounge, where he had been playing that day. The stuffed dog he carried around with him everywhere lay forgotten on the couch.

Today, we would lay him to rest. I had been up since the sun had risen, dressed in my best suit and waiting on the couch next to the forgotten stuffed dog. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it. To move it.

Hank sank down onto the couch next to me, a bottle of whiskey in his hand half an hour before we were supposed to leave.

We didn’t speak—there were no words left to say. I felt his hatred every moment of the day.

Mom emerged the minute we had to leave, hair in a bun, a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes, and walked straight past Hank and me and out the door.

“Don’t get in my car,” Hank said, standing up and tripping over my foot. He followed my mother out the door, a bottle of whiskey still clutched in his hand. I grabbed my keys off the counter and locked the house.

I drove behind Hank, who was way past the legal limit to drive, and the whole time, I prayed he wouldn’t kill my mother. That I wouldn’t have to plan another funeral and lay her to rest, too.

The ceremony was long and did little justice for my once-full-of-life little brother. Grief clung to the air as many family members cried for Jack. I stood beside Mom the whole time, hoping she might grab my hand, but she kept her arms crossed, avoiding both me and Hank. She hadn’t taken her sunglasses off, but I could still see the tears rolling down her cheeks and down her neck.

“How… how could you let him drown?” my mother whispered. “You were meant to protect him. You were his hero .”

The words sliced through me. I couldn’t look at her, my eyes firmly focused on the small coffin. A coffin much too small.

“It’s your fault he isn’t with us. It’s your fucking fault my son is dead!” she yelled, looking at me. I couldn’t see her eyes through her sunglasses, but I felt the hatred pouring from them.

Everyone looked at us, and someone gasped loudly, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the place Jack was lying. Minutes passed, and not another word was said. The ceremony paused, every person I loved staring at my back.

I looked at the priest, urging him to continue, and finally, he did. When he was finished, I dropped my white rose on the coffin first. “I will always love you,” I whispered so softly that only Jack could hear, and I walked out, ignoring the hatred from every single person in the room.

I couldn’t be the reason another person drowned.