Broken Bonds (Unbreakable Bonds #1)

Chapter Forty

chapter forty

CELINE

Ryan’s buzzing phone caught everyone’s attention during the silent dinner. The food was good, but everyone was on edge, most of us angry and upset with Ryan. Ace wasn’t answering my calls or texts, and I was extremely worried. What if Ryan drove him away again?

Ryan glanced at my parents before answering the call, stepping away from the table for privacy. “He what?!” he exclaimed a moment later, panicked eyes swinging to me. “I’ll be right there.” He came back to the table, his body tense, his eyes on me, and I knew something was wrong.

“Who was that, Ryan?” Dad’s stern voice interrupted the silence.

Ryan swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Ace was in an accident.” My blood began whooshing in my ears, making everything sound like I was underwater. “That was the hospital. I’m his emergency contact.” Dropping his forgotten phone to the table, he ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, Celine.” He looked at me, but I couldn’t register his words.

This wasn’t happening to me .

He wasn’t Aidan, and this wasn’t happening again .

“Celine, honey, let’s get you in the car, and we’ll take you to the hospital. I’m sure he’s alright. That boy is tough.” My mother stood from the table and searched the kitchen for her purse. My heartbeat was echoing in my ears, getting louder and faster with every moment that passed.

Amber hadn’t moved her gaze from me, like she knew I was falling apart. Slowly, she stood and walked over to me, resting her hands on my shoulders. “He’s going to be okay. Come on, Cece.” Ryan carried me to the car, and the short drive to the hospital was done in silence while Amber sat beside me, holding my hand.

At the hospital, Ryan carried me in, and we were given a wheelchair. He pushed me quickly through the narrow halls until we stood outside a closed door. Nurses brushed past us, whispering in low tones. I tried not to listen, but it was hard not to.

“Did you see the boy?”

“I hope they aren’t here for him.”

“You mean what’s left of him. I hate motorcyclists.”

No! Stop, please!

Tears welled in my already swollen eyes. I shook my head and clutched at my throat, trying to breathe steadily. Amber opened the door, and we stepped inside. All at once, we sucked in a breath of air. The man lying on the bed was not Ace—it couldn’t be.

The man lying on the bed was hooked up to what seemed like a million different machines, tubes draped all over his chest, his whole head wrapped in white bandages with holes for his eyes, nose, and mouth. His tan arms were covered in road rash, destroying his tattoos.

A cry tore from my throat as I took in every detail of his broken body. “Ace, oh, God. Oh, my God. He… oh, my God.” I couldn’t form words. My mind was crashing in on itself.

“Oh, God,” Ryan muttered, leaving me in the doorway to take a closer look at Ace, walking around the bed, shaking his head. “What have I done?” he whispered, sounding agonized.

Amber pushed me closer to the bed, parked the wheelchair, and went to soothe Ryan, who was pacing the small room, muttering to himself.

“Ace?” I croaked, reaching for his hand. Please answer me, Ace .

“He’s in a coma, Celine.” My doctor from a week ago walked into the room, clipboard in hand. I bit my lip to hold in my sob, squeezing my eyes shut as tears slid down my cheeks. “Since Ryan is his emergency contact, and I can discuss his status. It doesn’t look very good, so I want to prepare you for the worst. Mr. Danvers might never wake up,”

No, no, no. This isn’t happening. God, pull me out of this nightmare. Don’t do this to me, God, please. I don’t deserve this.

“No!” I screamed, dropping my face to the bed near his hand. I sobbed, my shoulders shaking. My entire world was falling apart.

“Right now, Mr. Danvers is on life support. Ryan, it’s up to you what happens with his life.” Turning to look at my brother, I watched him crumple to the ground with Amber at his side.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Ryan cried as Amber wrapped her arms around him.

“This is all your fault!” I screamed, lashing out at him. If he hadn’t told Ace to leave, he would be okay. He wouldn’t be—I couldn’t say it.

“Celine, honey.” Mom’s gentle touch registered in my mind, but the pain took over.

“Get off me. It’s all his fault that Ace is here, that…” I inhaled a deep breath, my chest rising and falling, “that I didn’t tell him I love him before it was too late. Now, he may never h-hear the w-words,” I sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Celine. I’m so sorry,” Ryan pleaded, looking at me with tears streaking down his face. Amber clung to his arm, her own tears falling.

“I hate you!” I screamed at him, pushing my face into the crisp hospital sheets. I clutched at Ace’s still hand as I cried.

“I’m sorry.” I was so tired of Ryan’s apologies. So, so tired.

My whole body shook as I cried onto Ace’s limp, cold hand. He wasn’t Aidan. He wouldn’t leave. He promised . He’d been making plans. He had an apartment. He was staying .

“Please don’t leave me. Fight, Ace, please fight for us,” I quietly begged, my words thick with tears.

I couldn’t bear to look at him, so I fell asleep with my wet cheek resting on his hand, praying with every fiber of my body that he would wake up, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he died before I could tell him just how much I loved him, if he died thinking he was unloved.

Sometime during the night, I was moved onto a cot right next to Ace. My sleep was consumed by nightmares of a world without Ace, of Aidan’s accident happening over and over.

The next few days passed in a blur. Ryan had to go back to his duty station, and so, two days after Ace was admitted, Ryan left. It was still tense between us, but he hugged me from behind, draping his arms around my neck before placing a quick peck to my head. “Don’t forget to take care of yourself, Celine. He’s going to be okay.”

I nodded numbly. If only he knew that I didn’t care about what happened to me. I couldn’t lose another person. I would never be able to heal from losing Ace.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan whispered. His apologies meant nothing; they wouldn’t wake Ace up. They couldn’t undo the past. Every time he said it, all I felt was anger.

Amber had become my silent companion. Every day, she camped out in the cramped room with me, hiding all our favorite snacks in her giant purse. We didn’t talk. She read magazines or watched TV while I stared at Ace, looking for any sign that he was going to wake up.

After a week, Amber forced me to shower with the help of a nurse because I was still suffering from my injuries. It had been almost three weeks since Julian fucked me up, but I was healing. Slowly but surely. I only wished Ace was awake to see it.

The bruises on my face and neck had faded to an ugly yellow and green, and my eyes were no longer swollen. Each day became a little easier to bear. I was still living on pain pills, needing them to numb my body and my mind. I knew it was dangerous, but without them…

Without them, I felt too much .

Ace hadn’t even flinched in his comatose state. The only way I knew he was still alive was by watching the steady rise and fall of his chest from the machine forcing his lungs to work. The nurse had taken the bandages off his head, and now, I stared at the road rash scarring his handsome face for hours.

What is he going to think when he wakes up? If he wakes up?

Shaking my head, I averted my attention to the small TV, where Amber was immersed in some show. She was munching happily on popcorn, a blanket draped over her legs. I really loved this girl. She hadn’t left my side except to get me clothes and food. I really didn’t know what I’d do without her.

“Amber?” She snapped her head in my direction instantly.

She swallowed her food. “What’s up?”

“I love you.” A soft smile tilted her lips. “You’re the best sister I could have ever asked for.” Tears shone in her eyes when she launched herself at me, mindful of my healing ribs when she squeezed me.

“I love you so much,” she cried, holding onto me.

A week later, there was still nothing new from Ace. Now, it was just the two of us in this room. Amber went back to class and came by in the afternoons or evenings. Sometimes, Mom would sit with me, but for the most part, it was just Ace and me.

With nothing better to do, I told him everything about Julian and that night. I went over every detail, every hit, punch, kick, and all his belittling words. I finally got it off my chest. Even if he couldn’t hear me, it helped. The relief was instant but short-lived with Ace still unmoving. I wanted a reaction from him. I wanted him to remind me that I was safe, that he would never leave me. Instead, I was met with silence.

“Wake up, Ace! Open your blue eyes and keep your promise this time, please!” Standing, I limped around the room. “You promised me.” I looked at his scabbed face, closed lids, his mouth set in a flat line. “Damn you for being so handsome, even on the verge of death,” I whispered, my voice cracking.

Six weeks after Julian broke my wrist, the cast finally came off, and now, I held both of Ace’s hands when I sat next to his bed, hoping he would feel me. It had been a month since his accident, and the doctors worried me a little more with every passing day, reminding me that I may need to call Ryan and ask him to make a decision.

I refused to hear a word of it.

I had been urged to leave Ace’s room for a few days to take a walk or even sit outside, but I refused. I didn’t want to be anywhere without him. We already missed so much time, and now, he was slowly leaving me again.

Another two weeks passed, and finally, the cast came off my foot, replaced with a boot to give me support while I learned how to properly walk again. Thankfully, my physical therapist worked from the hospital, so I didn’t have to stray too far from Ace—not that he would notice anyhow.

His wounds had slowly healed, as had mine. Aside from a slight limp in my big black boot, I looked normal, like my boyfriend hadn’t tried to kill me. Julian crossed my mind every day. He was sentenced to five years for domestic violence a few weeks ago with me testifying via video, but the unease in my bones never settled. I constantly looked over my shoulder, waiting for him to come finish what he started.

Panic and fear consumed my mind at night, so I didn’t sleep often. Closing my eyes meant letting the demons in, and I was not strong enough to fight them alone—not anymore. Aidan and Julian taunted my mind at night, both reminding me of what I was losing with Ace slowly slipping away from me.

Two months passed when Ace’s doctor came to me and suggested calling Ryan home to make a final decision about Ace, to let him move on peacefully. I ignored the doctor and screamed bloody murder until he left the room. Security returned within minutes, promising to escort me out if I ever raised my voice at the doctor again.

“Do you want me to let you go?” I whispered to the ceiling, hearing the soft sound of the machine breathing for Ace. Each sound cracked my heart, reminding me that the Ace I had come to love wasn’t lying there on that bed.

He wasn’t here anymore. He left a long time ago. It was time to let him go.

Dropping my head to the bed near his cold hand, the first tear slid down my face. “I’m not ready to say goodbye, Ace.” Crying into his lifeless hand, my chest ached. My soul cried out for him. I couldn’t do this. “Please don’t make me do this; don’t leave me. I need you.”

Amber came into the room sometime later, resting her hand on my shoulder. “Come on; let’s go for a walk. You need to get out of this room.”

Shaking my head, I looked at her through blurry eyes. “I don’t want to leave him; I’m not ready.” There was understanding in her green eyes, but she still tugged on my arm.

“Come on; he’ll still be here when you come back. He wouldn’t approve of you sitting here for two months. You’re missing out on life, honey. What about college?”

“You don’t understand, Amber.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to live without him in my life. I can’t think straight, and my heart is screaming in pain.” Clutching at my chest, I looked at her with desperate eyes.

I need her to understand.

“Five minutes.” She extended her hand out to me, and after a moment of hesitation, I let her pull me out of the chair.

We slowly walked through the hallway, among the hustle and bustle of the hospital staff all rushing to the next patient. Laughter came from two nurses we walked past, both sipping on coffee cups. I shrunk back into Amber’s arm that was wrapped around my shoulder. It didn’t feel right to see people laughing, smiling, living while Ace was lifeless. It wasn’t fair.

“I can’t do this. I want to go back now.” She faltered but with one look at my face, she reluctantly turned. In the room, I slumped back into the chair at his bedside, grabbing his hand as I stared at his face.

I had memorized his closed lids, thick eyebrows, full lips, and sharp jawline by now. Could probably draw it from memory, and I didn’t have a single bit of artistic talent in my body. I would, at least, forever have him etched into my mind if he didn’t wake up.

Amber’s voice cut through the deadly silence. “It’s been two months, Celine.”

“I can’t just move on when he’s like this.” Tearing my gaze from him, I stared at her, seeing all my pain reflected in her eyes.

“He wouldn’t want this for you. You have to know that.” She crossed her arms as she sank into the couch against the wall, her eyes darting between Ace and me.

“It isn’t fair. Everyone out there,” I pointed to the closed door, tears blurring my vision, “is laughing and living while he’s barely alive!” I screamed. “It isn’t fair!”

“I know it isn’t.” Her voice was thick with sadness and pain, her eyes glistening. “You’re going to need to say goodbye, Celine.”

I shook my head. “He’s going to wake up. He promised!”

“Ryan is flying in tomorrow,” she told me sadly.

Panic clawed at my throat. “Why?” I demanded, my voice cracking. “Why the fuck is my brother coming home again, Amber?”

“The doctor called him and suggested that we let Ace go.”

“No!” I shouted at her. “Ace promised he wouldn’t leave me! He promised I wouldn’t be alone. He promised me he wasn’t Aidan!” My screams bounced off the walls, hurting my ears, but the sound that followed was from a broken girl.

Nurses rushed into the room to assess the situation, and the doctor followed behind closely, eyes on me as screams of agony tore from my throat. “You can’t end his life! You can’t take him away from me!” I shouted at the doctor.

“Sedate her!” he demanded over the chaos. Amber’s red, tear-streaked face was the last thing I remembered as darkness clouded my vision.

“I think it would be best if she doesn’t go back into his room. She’s only risking hurting herself more.”

“With all due respect, sir, my sister is madly in love with that guy. You’re not in the position to stop her from seeing him,” Ryan bit out.

“He’s right. Remember how she was after Aidan? We can’t let her sink into that darkness again. Maybe it’s for the best, son,” Dad murmured.

“She never loved Aidan like she loves Ace,” Ryan’s soft voice was directed at my dad. “The worst decision of my life was pushing Ace away from her. I’m not making that mistake again. If they hurt each other, so be it. But they’re… destined or something. Inevitable. I was just stupid and blind.”

“You didn’t see her in there, Ry,” Amber urged. “You didn’t see the defeat in her eyes. She doesn’t want to live without him.” Amber’s voice was thick with tears. I wanted to hold her hand, assure her that I was going to be okay, but I wasn’t. I didn’t want to open my eyes and see my family; I couldn’t handle their sympathy. I didn’t want it.

Ace needed to wake up; he couldn’t leave me.

“I wish he hadn’t picked me to make this decision. I can’t be the reason he dies. How is she ever going to look at me again?”

Don’t do it, Ryan. Don’t end his life.

“She won’t at first, but one day, she will understand that you are only trying to end Ace’s suffering.” I felt Mom’s hand brush the hair out of my face.

I won’t forgive him. I will never forgive him if he kills Ace.

“I’ll give her one more day, and then, we all have to say goodbye.”

No!

When I finally opened my eyes, the room was dark. Amber was snoring on the small couch, red hair covering her freckled face.

“Ames,” I croaked, my throat dry. She didn’t move. “Amber, wake up.” She jumped with a start, her bleary, green eyes focusing on me.

“You’re finally awake,” she said, her voice groggy. She stretched her arms above her head with a groan.

“Where’s Ryan? I heard you talking. Where is he?” Panic gripped my whole body when she hesitated. “No, please tell me Ace is still alive.” Swinging my feet onto the floor, I stumbled, my mind still dazed from sleep.

“He’s alive. Ryan is sitting with him, trying to make sense of the situation.” She was standing in front of me, hands on my arms, steadying me. Relief calmed my tense body, and I sank back onto the bed.

“Mom and Dad?”

“Getting us some food.” She rubbed my arms, trying to soothe me.

“Can I see him now?” She nodded and helped me to my feet, then we shuffled to the door and through the surprisingly empty hallway. “Where is everyone?”

“Not sure. Probably changing shifts.” Amber’s grip on me was tight. The stress in her body was weighing her down, and sadness lingered in her eyes.

“Is he really going to pull the plug?” I asked, my voice sounding strangled to my own ears.

She cast me a sad smile, but it was more like a grimace. “We have to let him go, Cece. We can’t make him suffer any longer.” I choked on a sob, pain swelling in my chest. We reached Ace’s door and stopped. “Ryan loves you. This is hard for him, too. Don’t think you’re alone in your pain. We all loved Ace.”

Loved.

They were already talking about him like he was gone.

Ryan was sitting in my seat by Ace’s bed, his head bent in prayer when we walked in. He looked up, his eyes glassy. He stood, coming to hug me, but I recoiled from him. His arms dropped, and he stepped away. Amber rushed to his side as I sank into the hard, plastic chair.

“Leave us,” I demanded.

“Celine, you know I don’t want to do this.” Ryan’s voice was filled with pain, but I didn’t care. He didn’t deserve to be here. Not if he was going to pull the plug on Ace.

“Leave!” I snapped.

The door clicked shut behind them as they left the room. My eyes were on Ace, who had healed. There were no more bandages around his face. His black hair was long and shaggy, almost touching his shoulders, and a thick beard covered his usually clean-shaven face. He would hate it.

Sometimes, I didn’t recognize him. Lying in this bed for two months had made him frail. He’d lost some of his muscle definition. The beard covered so much of his face, hiding it from me.

Holding his hand in mine, tears roamed down my face. “They want to let you go, but I’m not ready. I have so much left to tell you, to do with you. We didn’t get a fair chance, Ace. You didn’t have a fair life—always being tortured. I wanted to be good for you.”

Dropping my head to his hand, my tears soaked the blanket. “I called your family, but they didn’t care. They didn’t care if you lived.” The familiar ache crawled into the pit of my stomach. “I hate anyone who doesn’t love you because I love you with my entire heart and soul. I wanted to spend the rest of my life falling in love with you every day. You made me feel beautiful every time you looked at me, every time you called me princess or baby girl, and now, I’ll never hear you say it again.”

Tears flooded my swollen eyes as I cried onto his hand, wishing he would just wake up. “Please don’t leave me. Please, Asshole, don’t leave me.”

Hours passed. Mom and Dad brought me food, which I couldn’t stomach eating. Mom sat with me, holding my hand as I cried, the tears never-ending. Ryan and Amber came back into the room a while later and remained on the couch with Dad. I couldn’t even look at Ryan for making me go through this.

We all sat in the small room through the night. Nobody slept or spoke. The only sound filling the room was the ventilator breathing for Ace. When the sun eventually came up, my chest caved in. Each breath I sucked in hurt, and my heart raced as I looked at Ace, taking in every detail.

The doctor came into the room an hour later, and grief hung heavily in the air. I couldn’t breathe anymore.

“We’re going to do this slowly. First, we’ll decrease the amount of air the ventilator is giving Mr. Danvers to fifty percent for thirty minutes.” He fidgeted with a few buttons on the big machine before turning to me. “Keep talking to him. Miracles can always happen.” He walked out of the room as I stared at Ace.

I didn’t know what to say. I opened my mouth and closed it. “You need to wake up. Don’t make me be the reason my sister has a broken heart, Ace,” Ryan begged. “Open your eyes and make her happy. I take back everything I said about you. I was worried. I just wanted her to be happy, and now, she’s miserable, and it’s because of me.” Ryan stood on the other side of Ace, clinging to his other hand, tears running down his cheeks.

“I know I called you an asshole a lot, mostly because you are one, but you can’t leave my best friend. She needs you like I need Ryan. We haven’t had a chance to go on double dates or annoy the crap out of each other. Wake up, and make this girl smile again.”

Ace was still unmoving.

“Please don’t leave me.” I sniffled, my lips trembling. “I love you.”

The doctor came into the room again. Those thirty minutes passed by so quickly. Shaking my head, I looked at him as he steadily walked to the machine.

“Time to turn off the machine and extract the tube. It seems like he’s trying to breathe on his own, which is a good sign, Ms. Wilson.” He turned the machine off and pulled a tube out of Ace’s throat with the help of a nurse.

I could barely watch, feeling my stomach in my throat, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. A shuddering gasp for air escaped Ace’s open mouth, and then, he started coughing, gasping.

Is he going to die like this? Do I have to watch him gasp for air?

“Oh, God! Do something! Please make it stop!” I screamed, clutching my throat, my body cold. Mom’s arms wrapped around me in a vice grip as Ace’s chest rose and fell quickly with each gasp. Then, he stopped gasping. But the heart monitor was still steady—no flat line.

“He’s breathing on his own!” the doctor shouted, shocked.

My jaw hit the ground. He was breathing without the machine. He was breathing.

He’s fighting . He’s not leaving me .

The doctor left a nurse to monitor him for the next few hours. She came in and out of the room every twenty minutes. No one moved. The air was tense, all of us waiting.

Eventually, Mom and Dad went in search of food, leaving Amber, Ryan, and me staring at Ace. “He’s going to wake up,” Ryan muttered eventually, his eyes red from exhaustion. “He’s a sucker for dramatics. He won’t leave you. I know he won’t.”

“He has to wake up. I have to tell him I love him,” I croaked, my throat raw. My hand was still wrapped tightly around his, hoping he could feel me.

Amber had fallen asleep on the couch the next time I looked at her, and Ryan smiled affectionately at her. “I want you to have what we have,” he whispered, looking at me.

“I want it with this man right here. I want forever with him.” Ace’s hand in mine twitched, and I jumped. “His hand just moved!” I shouted, waking Amber.

“I’ll get the nurse!” She scrambled off the couch and out of the room.

I watched his fingers curl around mine. Tears formed in my eyes and spilled over—a waterfall being unleashed. I looked from his hand to his face, and I was stunned to see his ocean-blue eyes staring back at me, a weak smile playing at his lips.

“Oh, my God!” I squealed just as the nurse rushed in with the doctor. “He’s awake; he’s awake!” I chanted over and over, holding his hand tighter than ever before. Relief swept through my body in one gust, and I felt like I could finally breathe again.

Just keep those eyes on me, Ace .

“Let’s get him some water. His throat is going to feel like sandpaper,” the doctor instructed the nurse, who disappeared from the room. She came back with a pitcher of water and a glass. She raised it gently to his lips, and Ace sipped it slowly, his eyes on me.

“Can you speak, Ace?” the doctor asked.

He was still looking at me. “Hi, princess,” he croaked, voice hoarse, and I cried.

“Just a few questions, and then I’ll give you some time with your family.” Ace turned from me to the doctor and nodded slowly. “What’s your name?”

“Ace Danvers,” Ace rasped. The nurse helped him drink a little more water.

“Middle name?”

Ace shifted. “Parents never gave me one.”

“Age?”

“Twenty-three.”

“What is this woman’s name, and how is she related to you?” the doctor asked, gesturing to me with his pen.

Ace’s eyes shone when they landed on me. “Celine Wilson. She’s the love of my life, and I’m hoping she’ll be my girlfriend.”

“Oh, my God!” Amber squealed from behind me, hands on my shoulders, squeezing. I sobbed, my knees going weak. I sank back into my chair at his bedside.

“I don’t think you’ll have a problem with that, son,” the doctor chuckled. “Do you know why you’re here?”

Ace winced. “Somebody hit me on my bike.”

The doctor nodded. “Do you remember the date you were hit?”

Ace closed his eyes for a moment, making my heart rate skyrocket. I breathed a sigh of relief when he opened them again. “I think a Saturday in May. Why?”

“It’s almost August,” the doctor told him. Ace grimaced. “You were in a coma for two months.”

Ace looked at me for a moment, then back at the doctor. “Am I going to be okay?”

“With time and physical therapy, you’ll have no lasting injuries. I’m going to give you some time with Ms. Wilson and come check on you later.”

When he left the room, Ace squeezed my hand. “Two months. I’m so sorry, baby girl.”

I lifted his hand, pressing it to my cheek. “I love you so much.” He grinned at me. “I’m so sorry I never told you, and then you almost died, and I never got to tell you.” I was rambling as fast as my tears were falling.

“Come here,” he whispered, and I leaned closer, allowing him to pull me to his chest, his scarred, tattooed arms wrapping around me, finally making me feel whole again. “I heard you every time you told me. I heard you, princess. I knew you loved me the day I told you. I just wanted to give you time to heal.”

I sniffled. “There’s nobody but you, Ace. I’m completely in love with you.”