Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
AURORA
I walk round my father’s leather-topped mahogany desk and roll out the chair. This is the only piece of furniture in my office that I didn’t bring from his house. It’s somewhat ridiculous, but it’s comfy and it’s mine. It’s a green leather gaming chair with built-in speakers and a massage feature. Every one of my guys mocked me when it arrived, but that doesn’t stop them sneaking in here when they think I’m not watching, to play with all the features.
I notice the coffee Sinclair’s left for me and eagerly pick it up and take a sip. The almond creamer satisfies my sweet tooth while the caffeine promises to keep me going for a few hours, helping to overcome the exhaustion caused by Nico and Benny earlier.
I stare across the room at Sin, who is seemingly getting on with business like we’re not all missing a piece of our hearts, and a pang of guilt hits me. We’re in an awkward place. We all miss Enzo, but nothing we say will make us feel any better. Everything has already been said. We just have to get up every day and get on with our lives.
Even though I think all of us would rather wallow in grief and hide from the world, none of us have the balls to say it for fear of encouraging one of us to spiral into depression.
That’s my theory anyway. We’re all too afraid to be the reason one of us breaks.
So we focus on the only thing we can. Destroying Max.
“Thanks for this, Sin. I needed it.”
“Well, if you weren’t out till all hours antagonising Max’s new minions, I wouldn’t need to sustain you with artificial stimulants.”
“Where’s the fun in that, killjoy?” I snark at him, but I throw a jelly bean at him from the dish on my desk to make sure he looks up and sees I’m joking.
He’s about to say something when I hear the familiar clattering of Nico and Benny’s boots approaching the door and I’m met with a withering glare from Nico.
“Yeah. Now that you mention it, we need to clear some things up.” From his tone, I know I’m about to get an earful on safety and the importance of communication, but seeing as how I’m the boss and still on an orgasm high right now, I’m just not in the mood to listen. I roll my eyes and immediately regret my decision.
He crosses the room towards me and I’m forced to crane my neck as he stalks behind the desk, crowds my personal space, and threads his fingers through my hair, yanking my head back further, stopping just before the sensation borders on pain.
“You may be our boss, but we’re responsible for your fucking safety. You’re ours to protect, you infuriating woman. How can we possibly keep you safe if we don’t know where the fuck you are? ”
Nico’s chest is heaving as he spits out the words through gritted teeth. I glance to Benedict and Sinclair to gauge their opinion on my activities last night and instantly know I’ve fucked up. They’re both giving me ‘what he said’ faces and the weight of my stupidity crashes down on me. I went out without protection to pick off the low-hanging fruit from Max’s organisation. Aside from making me feel better, it hardly served our purpose and was a massive risk.
Fuck. I’m going to have to apologise.
“What do you have to say for yourself, phoenix?” Nico grinds out.
My throat turns to sandpaper as I swallow the lump that’s formed. “I’m sorry, Nico,” I murmur and he releases his grip, leaving a trail of goosebumps as his fingers ghost along my neck and rest on my shoulder. I turn towards Benedict and Sinclair and continue, “It won’t happen again. I was angry and reckless.”
Nico leans down to my eye level and places a gentle grasp under my jaw to hold my attention. “No one's saying you can’t have your fun, phoenix. We’re just saying you can’t have it without us. One of us needs to be with you at all fucking times. Do I make myself crystal fucking clear?” His tone is a conflicted mix of emotions, veering between angry as fuck and loving.
“Yes, sir,” I say with a deference that feels natural. I may be the don, but they’re devoted to me and I disrespected them last night.
I was a maelstrom of emotions and couldn’t bear the thought of another sleepless night feeling like I was still, in any way, controlled by Max. I may be free of his violence, but his cruelty still haunts me. Taking Enzo from me, from all of us, is the most soul-destroying form of pain I’ve ever experienced, and it makes me feel like I’m his marionette. Forever dancing to a psychotic puppet master’s song .
We’d been sent information on the latest low-level gangs to align themselves with the new De Luca organisation, so I ‘popped out’ for some milk and may have found myself in a bar that happened to be one of their favourite drinking holes. There were only a few of them there and I took it for the opportunity it was: easy pickings.
It had been far too easy to get them on their own. It’s amazing how compliant men can be when mesmerised by the promise of pussy. It was even easier to dispatch them in the back room of the bar. While every trophy I collected from their dead bodies brought a smile to my face, it wasn’t the most discreet of plans. I’d never intended for it to be, which is why I’d called Etta Romano on the way there. I may have been angry, but the last thing I am is stupid.
With a little help from one of my most impressive new capos, she was able to manage my latest little anger management issue.
Had any of last night's escapades been wise?
No.
Had they been satisfying?
Fuck, yes.