Bump and Run (Wide Open #6)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Charlie

What I had done to Jones was the biggest regret of my life. I could see the hurt and anger written all over his face every single time he looked at me. But that wasn’t what bothered me the most. It was the sadness in his hazel eyes that made me ache. I could feel it deep inside my bones whenever I glanced at him, and it made me feel like the biggest asshole in the world. The smile he used to share with the world was gone. He looked so different. And that was all my fault.

“You going to invite me inside?” I couldn’t stop the words that tumbled from my mouth. I didn’t want to be like this to Jones. I still loved him, even now, and I wanted to fix things between us. Only I didn’t know how. And I didn’t think he would let me back in.

He scoffed. “Whatever you need to say, you can say out here. I’m not letting you into my RV, Charlie.”

“Afraid to have me near your bed, Bashful? Maybe you can’t control yourself?” God, I hated myself for talking to him like that.

Jones narrowed his eyes at me and popped his jaw. If looks could kill, I’d be a dead man. “If you’re going to continue to behave like this, Charlie, you can leave. ”

He started to walk around me, and I instinctively reached out to stop him. His bicep was firmer and much bigger than the last time I’d had my hands on him. Jones glanced at where my hand was wrapped around his arm.

“Let go of me.”

I did as he asked.

“I’m sorry.” For hurting you, breaking your heart, and leaving you. I waited for Jones’s reaction, but when he continued to stare at his feet, I took a shaky breath before I spoke again. “Bashful, I—”

He spun around. “Sorry? You’re fudging sorry? What exactly are you sorry for, Charlie? The part where you told me you were mine, or maybe it’s how you left me alone, that you ghosted me after I let you take my virginity? That you blocked me on all your social media accounts? That you took my virginity?”

“Yes, all of it.” I felt my chin start to tremble.

Jones took a step back. “Don’t do that,” he whispered, but his hazel eyes softened.

“I had no other choice.”

“That’s bull, and you know it.”

I closed my eyes as the tears that filled them slipped out. “You have to believe me when I tell you that. I wanted to keep you, Jonesy, more than anything. I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on your beautiful face. Everything about you was made for me. Only, if I stayed there, if we were together, you would have hated me.”

When he didn’t say anything, my eyes flew open to find him watching me with his own tears on his cheeks. I wanted to comfort him, hold him in my arms, and tell him how I loved him. Even now, after all this time. That it had only always been him.

“You can’t do this to me again. I’ve worked so hard to forget you, this, us. That summer we spent together. Please, just leave me alone. We can be colleagues who don’t speak to one another. Who don’t make eye contact,” he whispered.

I tried to swallow the thick lump in my throat. “Did you ever, when we were together, think that you might love me at all?”

A sob escaped Jones’s throat before he turned to rush toward his RV. I knew he would lock me out, keep me from talking to him if I didn’t catch him, and I was on him in a second. Crushing him against my chest and wrapping my arms around his body.

“I love you,” I murmured in his ear. Jones’s body trembled at my words. “I’ve never stopped.”

“You... l-left m-me,” he choked out. “You made love to me, and when I w-woke up the next morning, you were gone, along with all of your things. It was like you never existed. You ghosted me. It felt like I was d-dying. For weeks, Ollie and Travis forced me out of bed. When our parents got married, I was terrified you would be there with a girl. Only it felt much worse when you didn’t show. Like you pushed the final nail into the coffin. That you couldn’t be bothered to show your face. Like you never cared.”

My already-broken heart felt like it was cracking again. “My father told me not to come to the wedding.” Jones stared up at me. “I bet he didn’t tell you that part.”

I wanted to kiss the shit out of him. Press my mouth against his, bite and nip at those soft, plump lips that I had been dreaming about for the past four years. Mark him like I used to. Show everyone who he belonged to.

“He said you were busy. That you had school, obligations in Boston, and a girlfriend. That you couldn’t take time out of your hectic schedule to come down to North Carolina. That you were going to pro-pose to h-her soon and there would be a b-big wedding.” His voice shook with emotion.

I raised my hand to tuck a wayward curl behind his ear. “Jonesy, my sweet, sweet Jonesy, there is no girlfriend. I never touched Beverly when I returned to Boston, and the obligations are not what you think.”

“Please.” He sniffed as more tears welled in his eyes.

My throat tightened. “Do you want me to go? To leave you alone and not bother you. Because all you have to do is say the words. I’ll turn around and walk away for good.” Even if felt like a knife to my heart.

Jones opened his mouth to respond, but then clamped it shut. He shook his head, and I let him untangle himself from my arms. “I want you to explain everything to me.” He raised a hand when I started to object. “Start from the night we... uh, had sex and go from there.”

“Does this mean you’re letting me into your RV?” My heart thumped loudly in chest. Maybe I had a chance here. I was scared to even hope.

Jones gave a quick nod. “You don’t get to touch me or try to lure me into bed. You’re going to spill everything and then you’re going to leave.”

Like hell I was.

***

Once inside the RV, Jones ordered me to sit so he could go change out of his fire suit. I pulled the zipper down on my own and tugged it down around my waist while I poked around in the kitchen, looking for something to drink. I was pleasantly surprised when I found hard cider. I grabbed two, popped them open, and placed them on the small table. Then I glared at the photos hung on the wall. Mostly of him and Ollie, a wedding photo with our parents, and one with Travis and a pretty red-headed girl. I hooked my arms behind my back as I noticed that Ollie was next to Jones in all the photos. Jealousy stirred in my stomach. Had they hooked up, or were they really just friends like Jones claimed they were? I had my doubts.

“Didn’t I tell you to sit down?” I spun around to find Jones watching me, now dressed in a pair of sweats and a loose-fitting t-shirt. His curly blond hair was damp, and I longed to drag my hands through them. Lure him to sleep as I murmured in his ear how much I loved him.

I smirked. “When did you get so bossy, Bashful? You used to be so polite.”

“I’m still polite, but I don’t let people walk all over me anymore... You helped yourself to my cider.” Not a question.

I shrugged as I moved to sit down. “I’m glad you still drink it.” I pushed the second bottle across the table toward him.

Jones stared at me before he finally sat down. He took a sip of the cider and raised his brows. “Well? I’m waiting. ”

“Oh, you want me to just jump into this conversation?”

“That’s why I let you inside.”

Right. “My father called me that night after we fu—had sex. Told me that if I didn’t break it off with you that I would lose all my inheritance from him and my mom.” I saw the way Jones’s eyes widened, and I knew he thought I did it for the money. This one might hurt more. “And that he would break up with your mother. Leave her with nothing but the clothes on her back.”

“What?” Jones gasped. “Remi loves Mama. I’ve never seen a happier couple.”

I chewed on my lip before I spoke, trying to figure out what to say. “I’m glad to hear that, Bashful. I haven’t spoken to my father much since that night. Just a few texts here and there. I wasn’t even invited to the wedding, or I would have shown up. Probably would have tried to win you back then, although your guard dog might not have let me near you. Speaking of Ollie, the two of you never screwed around? Not even a blowie or anything?”

“Charlie, stop it.” His ears turned pink, then he dropped his gaze to the bottle of cider. He picked at the label, and when he didn’t say anything right away, I started to get worried. “I’ve never been with anyone other than you. I’ve gone on a couple of dates, and sure, it could have gone further if I had wanted it to, but I didn’t. You’re the only one who’s ever touched me like that.”

Pride warmed me from the inside out, even though I couldn’t say the same. I had an itch that needed to be scratched, and nameless hookups were what worked best .

“He still wants you.” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask about the black eye Ollie was sporting, but instead I reached for Jones’s hand, only for him to drop it into his lap. “I guess I deserve that.”

“Ollie cares about me. He was there for me when you weren’t, and if I could return his feelings, I would. He deserves someone who loves him in ways that I never can,” Jones snapped. His hazel eyes flashed angrily. “What about why you’re here? Is that really because of me?”

I nodded. “I was terrible at racing at first. I crashed more cars than I care to admit. But once I finally got the hang of it, I started winning. Not a lot, but enough to realize I could probably make a living doing it. I had originally just planned on starting my own team. Thought I could hire you. I went back to Boston suffering and in pain. This helped keep my mind off things.”

“I bet,” Jones muttered, then let out a long sigh. “What do you want from me, Charlie?”

“I want you back,” I answered truthfully. “I’ll do whatever it takes, but I meant what I said. I love you. Leaving you was the worst thing I ever did, and I wanted to stay. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want your mom to end up broken-hearted either.”

He took a long sip of his cider, and I watched with jealousy when he dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. I wanted to do that. I still remembered the way Jones’s mouth tasted. How he felt in my arms. The sounds he made when he came, and how he begged me to fuck him that night. How it felt when he came apart beneath me .

“So, it was okay that I ended up broken-hearted instead?”

“What? No, I just... I figured you would bounce back.”

“Bounce back?” Jones exclaimed, and shot up from the chair. “I was a mess. My heart was broken, and my friends had to drag me out of my bed, force me to shower, to eat, and to live . I didn’t want to do anything. So no, I didn’t just bounce back like you thought I would. I loved you so darn much, Charlie, and you just threw me away like a piece of garbage.”

His words echoed in my head. I loved you. I loved you. I loved you . “Jonesy, you’re not garbage.” I started to climb to my feet.

“I can’t do this. I need you to leave now,” he whispered.

That wasn’t happening. “No.”

“What? Yes, you need to leave.” Jones stared at me with contempt. “I don’t want you here, and I don’t—What are you doing?”

He gasped when I caged him in against the wall. I pressed my body against his. I was still bigger, had more muscle, and I wasn’t afraid to use it. I still enjoyed the feel of Jones pressed against me.

“Say it again. Tell me you love me.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You said if I wanted you to go, that I could tell you to leave. That’s what I want, Charlie. Leave. Now, please.”

I thought about kissing him. The way Jones’s hazel eyes dipped to my mouth told me he might let me or might draw blood. Both would be fine, but at least I’d get to taste him again .

“If that’s what you want.” I took a step back. When Jones didn’t stop me, disappointment hit me like a brick. “I love you.”

Jones backed away as he watched me head toward the door. “Please don’t, Charlie. I can’t do this with you again.”

Always so polite. Even when he was telling me to leave him alone. When I heard the door lock behind me, I sat down on the damp grass, buried my face in my hands, and cried.