Burn Like An Angel (Harrowdean Manor #2)

13. Ripley

CHAPTER 13

RIPLEY

SAILOR SONG – GIGI PEREZ

Rain hammers against the mobile home’s thin roof, creating a deafening roar. It’s like we’re trapped in the belly of a moving aeroplane. I stare up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Each falling droplet too closely resembles the patter of gunfire.

It doesn’t matter that we’re taking turns to keep watch while the others sleep. Nor does it matter that we’ve seen no signs of life in the holiday park for the last few days while recuperating and weighing our options. It’s as secure as anywhere for now.

That doesn’t eliminate the fear, though.

There are still targets on our heads.

Carefully rolling over, I study Raine’s face. Even though it’s the middle of the afternoon, he’s asleep. I have no idea how with his hypersensitivity. Even I have a headache from the pounding rain.

I run my finger down his straight, perfectly proportioned nose. There are slight indentations on either side that I never noticed before, evidence of him constantly wearing glasses. He still wears the aviators everyday like they’re his proudest possession.

Without them on, I can see his thick black lashes, framing the brilliant, honeyed orbs that he keeps hidden from the world. I trace my fingertip over his cupid’s bow, the defined dip exaggerating his full lips.

We’re running dangerously low on his withdrawal medication. He puts on a brave face for our sakes, but I see the constant trembling, cold sweats and how he barely eats anything.

The methadone alleviates most of the withdrawal symptoms but not all of them. Without it, there’s no telling how he’ll react. Getting clean from years of opiate use is a long and extremely difficult process. Not to mention the impact his returned cravings would have.

With all the attention on Raine and his dwindling supply of pills, I’ve managed to keep my own ticking time bomb quiet. I know Xander sees everything, but out here, there’s nothing he can do to help.

The insomnia can be explained away. We’re all stressed and bone-deep tired. It’s the constant agitation and unmanageable mood swings that are taking me to a dangerous place.

I screamed at Lennox yesterday for eating the final stale doughnut before bursting into violent sobs when he offered me the last bite. It was safest to barricade myself in the rear bedroom until I could think straight again.

“Rip?” Raine mumbles.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“As are you.”

“How do you know I’m not asleep?”

“Besides the fact that we’re talking?” He cracks a yawn. “Your breathing. Short and fast. Not exactly conducive to REM sleep.”

“I don’t think I like it when you spy on my body with your weird, Batman hearing.”

“Sorry.”

Moving my fingertips to his closed lids, I stroke the soft skin, following the curvature of his eyes. In the small bedroom, filled with late afternoon sunlight filtering through net curtains, it’s easy to pretend we’re the last two humans alive.

Part of me likes the idea of Raine having no one else, no matter how fucked up that is to admit. He’d never be able to abandon me if we were the last two humans. Not like everyone else has. I’d be his sole reprieve.

Love didn’t stop my parents from dying, leaving me an orphan. It didn’t stop my uncle from keeping me at arm’s length until he cut all ties with me. And it didn’t stop Holly from following them all on a fast-track course out of my life.

“You were sleeping so peacefully,” I whisper.

“I think I was dreaming.”

My soft touches still. “Can I ask you something personal?”

“Are we still at the stage where we ask for permission?” He smiles gently.

“I guess not. Think we’ve moved past all formalities at this point.”

“So what’s the question?”

I smooth the light creases around his left eye. “Can you still see in your dreams?”

Raine runs a hand over my curled-up body. “Sometimes I see visual images. Memories from before I lost my sight. Other times it’s flashes with more sensory input like smells, textures, even tastes.”

“What does that look like?”

He thinks for a moment, his caramel eyes now open and bouncing around. “I guess… a messy, colourful patchwork quilt.”

The fact that he explains such a complicated concept with open-hearted honesty is what I admire the most. Raine has his demons, but he also has something not many can relate to.

The purest of souls.

That’s a rare commodity.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“What is this, question time?” he jokes.

“I can stop.”

“It’s fine. Lay it on me, guava girl.”

Snuggling closer, I take a deep breath of his salty, citrus scent. “Can you see me in your head?”

“I… have an impression of you.” He cups my cheek.

“How?”

“It’s made of fragments pieced together from touch. I guess I can tell you how your appearance feels to me. The image is a little more unclear, though. It’s half imagination and half my best guess.”

Equal parts confusion and curiosity draw my brows together. “So it’s not an actual image?”

“Probably not in the same way you see me in your head. Images look different to me now. More textured and amorphous.”

His inability to see me doesn’t take away from the intense bond we’ve formed. Raine was the first person to worm his way inside my heart in a very long time. He did the impossible.

“Does it bother you?” he asks worriedly. “The fact that I can’t see?”

“God, no!” I rush out. “Of course not.”

“Then what’s on your mind?”

“It’s just… I thought it was safer to be alone. That’s why I kept you at arm’s length for so long. I feel like I wasted a lot of time by doing that.”

“And now?” he urges.

“Now I’m glad we’re in this together. It makes no sense, given what we’re facing… but I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you.”

Raine listens intently, but his silence fires my uncertainty.

“Am I going insane?” I laugh.

“No.” He tenderly brushes a hand through my short curls. “You’re not.”

“I want us to work, Raine. I want everything I was scared to even consider before. That fear has gone. We could be killed or thrown in prison at any moment, and I’m tired of wasting time.”

The smile that blossoms on his lips is breathtaking. I just wish it didn’t make my stomach curdle when my thoughts stray to whether I’ll ever see a smile like it on Xander or Lennox. If they’re even capable of it.

“But…”

“But… the others,” he finishes for me.

“They’re important to me. Even if I don’t understand how or why, I know that much.”

“You still don’t get it. Do you?” Raine asks after a beat.

“Get what?”

Shifting closer, his nose brushes mine as he crowds my personal space. “I’ve accepted their place in your life.”

“You… uh, have?”

“Because I don’t have an image of your looks, and I don’t need it. I’ll never need it.”

“I’m not sure I follow?—”

“Just listen,” he interrupts

I seal my lips, waiting for him to explain.

“I know your soul, Rip. I know your voice. Your scent. Your breathing patterns. Your intonations. I have the incredible privilege of seeing intimate, invisible, even unconscious details about you. I’ll never have to share that privilege.”

Numbly, I wonder if he can sense my heart soaring right now, racing at breakneck speed. Raine’s self-satisfied smirk tells me he’s all too aware of what his confession is doing to me.

“That’s why I don’t care how Xander obsesses over you,” he continues. “Or how Lennox can’t even comprehend the depths of his feelings because they’re so overwhelming. I don’t care if my brothers love you too because what we have will always be unique.”

My toes curl when his lips press against mine.

“They can own their individual pieces of your heart, but what we have is just ours. And that’s enough for me.”

Too shocked to respond, I let his kiss linger. It’s deep and passionate, our mouths familiar enough to fall into a tempo that feels natural. Raine kisses the hell out of me then rests our foreheads together.

“You… love me?” I murmur.

He chuckles. “Is that the only part you heard?”

“I mean, it kinda stood out.”

His sigh sweeps across my face. “Yes, Rip. I love you.”

“Can you say it again?”

“I love you so fucking much, I’m willing to give you this because I know you need them too. And hell, they need you. We all do.”

A loose tear trails down my cheek. That single droplet encapsulates a lifetime of grief and loneliness. All the hope for a different life I imprisoned long ago when I realised that love was unrealistic. It dies and life goes on.

I didn’t think I wanted it.

I didn’t think I needed it.

But for the first time, I feel like my heart is beating wholly in my chest. I’m not just the lonely orphan, misunderstood by the world, finding solitude in her oil paints and immoral choices.

I’m loved.

Raine actually loves me.

Slanting my mouth back over his, I pour all that grief into my kiss. Every sleepless night spent sobbing into a pillow. The hole in my heart that formed as I grew up without a parent’s love or touch. The rejection and self-hatred my condition created.

Sometime during those empty years, I stopped waiting for someone to love me. I stopped trying to love myself. It was enough to escape this world through my art, longing for the next life… where someone might love me instead.

Feeling his lips move against mine, I wonder how I made it this far on my own. Sheer determination and will to survive alone, I suppose. For the longest time, it was enough.

Not anymore.

I don’t want to just survive by any means necessary. To live a solitary existence, taking comfort in the inanimate and protecting my heart from any further hurt. I want the whole fucking world. A future. A goddamn life. And they’re all in it.

Fingers fisting in his sandy-blonde hair, I take it all. Every last drop of commitment and devotion his kiss has to offer. He lets me push my tongue into his mouth and taste each dark corner, needing to commit this moment to memory before it floats away.

“Ripley,” he gasps into my lips. “Fuck, babe. I want to touch you so badly, but these walls aren’t exactly soundproof.”

“I don’t care if they hear.”

“The guys?—”

“Can mind their own business,” I finish his sentence.

After pushing him onto his back, I sit up, tugging my baggy shirt over my head. I’m left in panties and the slightly thinner bandage on my thigh that Xander applied last night.

“You’re still hurt.” He worries his lip.

“Not enough to change my mind. I need to feel you inside me.”

“Rip…”

“Just strip.”

Shimmying my panties off, I watch him deliberate before eventually tossing his clothing. He was sleeping in boxers and one of the clean shirts Xander brought back, his jeans nearby in case we need to move fast.

Raine lays back on the bed, a hand pumping his stiff length. For a second, I leisurely watch him. How his muscles clench and pull taut. The smooth curves of his pectorals. Flat stomach and tapered hips.

“I can feel you watching me,” he teases.

“That isn’t actually possible, you know.”

“I can assure you it is.”

“Well, sue me. I like the view.”

He smirks proudly. “Bring your gorgeous ass to me. Just go slow, alright?”

I carefully lift myself on top of him, keeping the weight off my leg. “How would you know my ass is gorgeous?”

“Call it intuition.”

His touch skims over my hips and waist, each teasing brush electrifying my nerves. When his hands move to cup my breasts, I arch my back to push my chest into them. Raine makes a low, satisfied noise in his throat.

He squeezes my mounds, his thumbs sliding over my aching nipples. Each brush causes them to harden into sensitive points. Everything is tender, heightening the twinges of pleasure.

I grind myself on him, feeling his shaft sliding against my pussy lips. It feels more intimate somehow, now that we’ve laid all our cards on the table. This isn’t just sex anymore. We’ve become more than the shallow labels I insisted on.

“I can feel how wet you are,” Raine marvels, lightly pinching my nipple. “Were you soaked when Lennox watched us the other day?”

“Yes,” I admit.

“You wanted to make him jealous, didn’t you?”

Sliding a hand down my body, he locates my pulsating clit. I gasp when his thumb circles the sensitive bundle of nerves, causing my skin to tighten with pins and needles.

“Ripley,” he says sternly. “Answer the question.”

Between his length sliding back and forth in a torturous taunt and his thumb pressing down on my clit, I have no hope of keeping the truth to myself. It spills out in a low whine.

“Y-Yes.”

“I bet he was dying for a taste of your sweet cunt.” He grins wolfishly. “And furious when he couldn’t have it.”

Pleasure rolls over me. I love the thought of driving Lennox insane with lust. Especially when I’m touching Raine. He spent so long trying to tear us apart, it felt right to tease him with his failure.

“You know, I imagined what it would be like if he joined us,” Raine admits as he flicks and circles my bud. “How I’d feel if he touched you while I rode your mouth.”

The mental image is enough to make the heat within my core boil over. I push myself against him, begging for any amount of friction. All I want is for him to sink inside me and ease the hollow ache.

“Can you imagine it, Rip?”

“It crossed my mind,” I whimper.

“Did you imagine him bending you over and pushing inside you? How would it feel taking us both, do you think?”

“Fuck, Raine.” My pussy clenches, weeping with unmet need. “Please.”

“It’s not something I’ve tried before. I wonder if he has.”

The dirty-minded bastard is going to kill me off with all these mental images. Sure, I wanted to piss Lennox off. Perhaps I even considered what it would feel like, having them both inside me. But Raine’s bringing the fantasy to life with each filthy word he whispers.

Reaching between us, I seize his shaft, tired of playing games. He’s hot and pulsing in my palm, a bead of shining pre-come gathering on his tip. I slick the moisture with my thumb, watching his breath catch.

“You want to know what I imagined?”

“Fuck yes, babe. Tell me.”

I languidly work his length up and down. “I imagined Lennox bending me over while your cock was deep in my throat. He’d be rough. Angry. Determined to prove himself.”

Raine breathes raggedly in time to each squeeze. I don’t care if it’s messed up to be talking about his friend while straddling him like this. None of us have to answer to anyone. If it feels right, I’m doing it.

Circling my entrance with his tip, I hold him at the precipice of satisfaction. An inch from heaven.

“I imagined him shoving himself inside me,” I tease breathlessly. “Taking me hard and deep like he wants to fuck the fight out of me. You’d ride my mouth while he fills me from behind.”

“Such a dirty little angel,” he groans. “Why does this turn me on so much?”

“I think you have a sharing kink, Raine.”

Nudging him inside me, I slowly sink down, inch by excruciating inch. He stretches me so perfectly, filling me to the breaking point as he bottoms out. I watch his golden eyes roll back in his head.

“Shit, babe. I think you’re right.”

Gasping at the intensity, I savour the burn. “I’m all for exploring it. Keep that in mind.”

Lifting my hips, I push back down on him. It’s an awkward manoeuvre that tugs at my thigh wound, but in the heat of the moment, the pain only amplifies my acute pleasure. We’ve talked ourselves into a frenzy.

I move slow and steady, taking him deep with each thrust. His cock pushes against the sweet spot buried within me that makes stars burst behind my eyes. Already, I feel overwhelmed with sensation.

“You feel so fucking good, babe. So good.”

He ruts up into me, matching each stroke with one of his own. Raine’s always been acutely in tune to my body. His ability to see the unseen comes into play when we fuck. He’s as attentive as he is passionate.

We’re perfectly synchronised, reading each other’s needs without words. Each time I press down on him, Raine slides up into my cunt with a low groan. I clench tight around him, my walls hugging his length.

Footsteps halt outside the bedroom, making my heart patter harder. My ears straining, each clash becomes harder, more frantic. Raine’s muscles clench, his burnt-toffee orbs swallowed whole by expanded pupils.

“Please,” I mewl, letting him slam into me. “I need to come.”

“Take it, babe. Show me how well you fall apart.”

Hands splayed on his chest, I throw my head back. I’m close to exploding. My climax hangs on the cusp of overwhelming me, magnified by the knowledge that those halted footsteps haven’t moved away.

When Raine finds my clit again, lightly tugging the tingling bud, all rational thought vanishes. My release hits hard and fast. I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or the imbalanced chemicals swamping my brain, but the orgasm is blisteringly intense.

“Yes!” I moan loudly.

Raine eases to a slow roll, his hips shifting up into me. He’s breathless too, but I haven’t felt him finish. He’s still thick inside me, holding my climax in suspension as aftershocks move in.

“You’re bleeding, Rip.”

“Hmm?”

His movements slow. “Your leg.”

Glancing down, I find the thin bandage speckled with blood. I didn’t even feel it. We ruled out an infection when Xander stitched the wound yesterday, but it’s still tender.

“We should stop.”

“No!” I writhe on top of him. “Don’t you dare.”

Grasping my hips, Raine gently manoeuvres out of me. I cry out at the sudden loss. I’m about to chew him out when he lays me down, feeling for my legs then spreading them wide so he can settle between them.

He doesn’t say a word as he slides back into me, assuming the position of power. I greedily accept his forceful thrust, my blood pumping like liquid caramel through my veins after my first release.

“You drive me insane, Rip. I want to take care of you, but instead, I’m fucking you senseless because you don’t know when to take no for an answer.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” I stare up at his unfocused expression. “So shut up and fuck me senseless, Raine. Give me what I want.”

“So demanding.”

His grin tells a different story. Secretly, he loves it. The explosive way our bodies collide. The sense of control it gives him in a world determined to take his autonomy away. With me, he can take a piece of himself back.

As he begins pounding into me faster, it feels like Raine is determined to prove a point. I’ve given him free rein, and he’s damn well going to take it regardless of who may be listening nearby.

My mind fantasises about the possibilities. I know Xander has no respect for boundaries, that’s old news. He’ll happily munch his popcorn while listening to us if he so pleases. The man doesn’t care about social graces.

Lennox… He’s the question mark.

Our dynamic is changing, morphing from raw hatred to bitterly reluctant infatuation. I don’t know if the new, softer Lennox would dare interrupt our privacy. He’s an unknown to me.

Raine’s continued thrusting shows how little he cares too. He hasn’t just accepted the others’ place in my life; I have a sneaking suspicion he actually fucking loves it.

“I want you to give me one more, babe.”

With lust snaking through me, I fist the tangled bedsheets. “Yes.”

“That’s it. Give me everything.” He urgently ruts into me, chasing his own climax. “Show me that you love me too, Rip. I need to feel it.”

I’m sure I don’t imagine the barely audible curse emanating from outside the bedroom door. I don’t have the mental capacity to question it as Raine ducks down to kiss my chest, sucking a nipple in between his lips.

The cramped bedroom is a blur all around me. Raine’s silhouette fills my vision, dappled with sparkling sunlight. Stray hair falls across his slick forehead, the sunshine accentuating every taut muscle in his neck and shoulders.

He licks and sucks my nipple, his teeth scratching against the peak. His playful bite sets off sparks in my mind that catch alight and spread, filling my whole body with delicious heat.

“I can feel you clenching around me,” he marvels. “I know you’re close, babe. Let go.”

“Oh god,” I whine. “Raine!”

“Let them hear you scream my name.”

The heat inside me reaches its apex. Everything seizes, my nervous system knotted so tightly, it’s just begging to be unravelled. All he has to do is shove me into that downward spiral.

Raine draws my breast into his mouth, pulling on my skin so firmly, I know it’ll leave a bright mark. An indelible reminder of all we’ve shared. I still can’t quite believe it.

He loves me.

And… I think I love him too.

I know I do.

My second climax hits harder than the first, the blistering cloud of pure euphoria sweeping everything else out. I’m a sputtering wreck, my entire body shattering into a thousand unrecognisable shards.

Raine bellows in time to me crying his name again. I feel him judder inside me, his release filling me up with a rush of heat. The feeling stretches out my orgasm until it’s echoing on in tortuous waves.

Slumping, he hides his face in my neck. I can feel how violently his heart is beating through his skin. Raine breathes hard, his hair tickling my face as I pant for air too.

When my brain decides to function again, I realise how much my thigh is screaming at me. The discomfort didn’t matter in the moment. Now I know I’ve pushed myself too far. Worth it, though.

“Raine,” I whisper throatily. “I need to go clean up.”

He groans, half-awake. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. More than okay.”

Lifting himself off me, he collapses to the side so I’m free. I move stiffly, grimacing at the blood-soaked bandage around my thigh. Xander’s going to chew me out if I’ve popped a stitch.

Raine catches my arm. “You’re not okay.”

“It’s just a bit of blood. Stay here.”

“I can help?—”

“I’ve got this.”

Teeth gritted, I stand up. I’m headed for the door to find the bathroom when something stops me. I look back at Raine in the bed, his attention fixed on me, even if his eyes aren’t.

“Raine?”

“Yeah, guava girl?”

I smile at the silly nickname. “For the record, I love you too.”

A stupid grin spreads across his face, softening his pink-flushed features. I leave him smiling like an idiot. Limping out of the bedroom, I’m thankful the corridor is empty. Our voyeur has vanished.

I’m so focused on avoiding being spotted in my naked, messy state, I don’t look up as I enter the bathroom. The sound of harsh breathing and low, guttural grunts only filter in when I’ve closed the door.

“Oh,” I squeak.

One hand braced on the sink, Lennox has his jeans around his ankles, the other hand fisting his thick, vein-streaked cock. My eyes bulge at the sight, cataloguing not only his ridiculous size but the blazing desire written all over his face as he jacks off.

“Am I interrupting?” I ask slyly.

Jaw locked, his gaze swings to me. Touching everywhere. My breasts. Raine’s love bite. My swollen pussy, slick with our come. Lennox rubs his cock faster, hand flashing up and down, unashamedly drinking me in.

And I let him.

It’s a liberating sight.

My feet carry me forwards without command. I hold his stare as I reach in to push his hand away. Lennox sucks in a ragged breath when I take over, cupping his shaft and delivering a slow squeeze.

“Did you like listening?”

His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “I wanted to break the door down and take you for myself.”

“What makes you think I’d let you?” I rhythmically stroke his cock.

“I know you feel it too, Rip.” His stubble-smothered throat bobs. “I know you’re struggling to fathom how the person you once hated most can become the very thing keeping you sane.”

“You drive me insane,” I correct.

“Which one of us looks insane right now?”

My lips spread in a satisfied smirk. “You.”

“Exactly.”

“Since we’re being honest, I enjoy the thought that I’ve driven you to this. I want that power. In fact, I want you on your knees, begging for the chance to fuck me like Raine does.”

“That’s what you want?” he grits out.

“Yes. I want you grovelling on your fucking knees, Lennox Nash.”

“Then when the time comes, that’s what I’ll do.”

Grabbing a handful of my hair, he pulls my mouth to his. Lennox kisses me above the hot flush that Raine left behind. His lips are firm, devouring the memory and replacing it with a brand of his own.

I can feel them both on me. Claiming. Marking. Possessing. But in my mind, they’re distinct. Even Xander has his own little patch of neurons dedicated just to him. There’s no competition.

Working Lennox’s length over, I call the final victory. His huge cock jerks in my hand, mirroring his sudden grunt into my mouth, and I feel sticky ribbons hit my lower belly.

We separate, his lips rapidly pecking mine when I steal a final taste. I love how closely his pale-green eyes resemble a seaborne storm right now. Unruly and uncontrollable.

“I look forward to it,” I purr, releasing his dick. “Preferably away from prying ears. My roommates seem to have no sense of privacy.”

Snorting, he looks down in embarrassment. That’s when he notices the saturated bandage on my thigh, now leaking thin trails of crimson.

Lennox pierces me with a glower. “What the fuck?”

“Erm… it was an accident?”

“Raine!” He pushes me away from him even as I start laughing. “I’m going to fucking kill him!”