Burn Like An Angel (Harrowdean Manor #2)

20. Ripley

CHAPTER 20

RIPLEY

ANOTHER ONE – TOBY MAI

Tapping a ballpoint pen against his notebook, Enzo Montpellier stares me down. His attention is a precisely-aimed blowtorch, intending to incinerate any lies he detects. He’s terrifyingly perceptive.

I’m holding my own against his harsh glare, even after several hours of his carefully worded questions. The others were removed from the apartment under protest to be interviewed separately.

Xander had to be threatened several times to get him to leave for his own interview. It took a lot of pleading for him to eventually relent for the sake of getting this done.

“Why do I feel like you don’t trust me?” Enzo deadpans.

Shifting, I fold my legs. “Because I don’t.”

“We’re on the same side.”

“No one is on our side, Mr Montpellier. Ever.”

“Enzo is fine,” he tells me for the fifth time.

Piercing amber eyes sweep over me. We’ve been talking for hours, running through every single detail. Years of information from my first day in Priory Lane to scaling the security fence at Harrowdean.

I never thought I’d be laying out my life story in brutal black and white for a total stranger. One whose job is to judge whether I’m deserving of his help. After all I’ve done, I wouldn’t be surprised if Enzo threw us back out on the street.

When you’re drowning, it’s easy to justify pushing other heads beneath the water so you can stay afloat. It’s necessary, right? They’d do the same to you. Only in the aftermath does the price of evil come knocking.

“I have one more question.” He snaps his notebook closed, placing the pen on top.

“Shoot.”

“Why’d you do it? Become their stooge?”

“Do you ask all Incendia’s victims this?”

“Most of them were admitted into the program by force.” His mountain-sized shoulders lift in a shrug. “I have one guy who even worked for them before he was imprisoned and tortured for several years.”

Acid swarms in the back of my mouth. “So I’m the bad guy for choosing to do what I did?”

“Do you deny it?”

Focusing on the coffee table, I avoid his stare. “No.”

“Why, then?”

“I’ve done things I’m not proud of.” I lace my hands over my roiling stomach. “A lot of people have gotten hurt because of my actions.”

Looking down at the battle wounds decorating my arms, I struggle to find the right words. The events that have led me to this sofa, recounting a tale too harrowing for most to fathom, feel alien.

Did I do all those things? I hold the memories. Bear the scars. It must’ve been me.

I spent so long detached from my morals, I didn’t care who I was hurting. At least part of me didn’t. Peddling management’s agenda became second nature. I fanned the flames so they could study us all.

Sick, right?

I’m under no illusions.

It’s an old cliché. Hurt people, hurt people. Is it the same for those who’ve been abandoned? Do we dole out cruelty to ensure our own survival at all costs because no one else is coming to save us?

No one has ever helped or been there for me. Not since Holly. I’ve done everything myself, starting with getting revenge. Leveraging my grief into power was nothing more than a calculated business move.

“Every time I sold pills to an addict or blades to a cutter, I knew what I was doing.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “It was just… inconsequential. I needed the power. The control.”

Listening attentively, Enzo doesn’t look judgemental as I expected. The gentle look of understanding is back, crumbling his gruff exterior. I’m surprised he hasn’t run for the front door yet.

“Their pain guaranteed my freedom,” I try to explain. “Doing things that made me sick meant I would live when Holly didn’t get to. It was a desperate trade off.”

He nods in acknowledgement. “In my experience… desperation is the source of most evils.”

“Don’t excuse what I did.”

“I’m not.” Enzo smiles sadly. “Perhaps it was simply an inevitable side effect.”

How this towering pillar of strength can hold so much soft-hearted concern, I can’t quite understand. He isn’t what I expected from Sabre’s second-in-command.

Despite his tactics, I hold the full, unfiltered truth back. Enzo is playing the good guy, but I’ve fallen into that trap before.

“I’ll take your testimony back to our director, Hunter.”

“Warner mentioned others were facing criminal charges.” Panic flutters behind my breastbone. “I need to know what I’m looking at.”

He appraises me, the crinkles around his eyes making him seem conflicted. “I don’t know, Ripley.”

“That isn’t good enough.”

“We’re negotiating charges with the Serious Crimes Unit. Your cooperation will help your case.”

“I have more information. Inside knowledge that can help you dismantle their entire operation.”

“If you’re all willing to cooperate with the investigation, perhaps a plea deal can be made. Hunter will take your case to the authorities to make a decision.”

“He doesn’t want to speak to me himself?” I ask in surprise.

“He’s… preoccupied right now.” Enzo worries his bottom lip. “We lost a member of our organisation recently. Someone important to us.”

“Alyssa?”

The muscle in his neck twitches. “Yes.”

“She freed us from the Z wing.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“What happened to her?”

Enzo releases a world-weary sigh. “The night we entered Harrowdean, we were undertaking a rescue mission. Alyssa lost her life in the crossfire.”

“If it weren’t for her, we would be dead or worse. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Me too.”

Feeling like I’ve poked a sore spot, I decide to look away. “What happens now?”

“You’ll remain in protective custody here at the safe house while we take this information away. The security detail won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Bancroft will plough straight through your men.”

Enzo gathers his things, rising to his full height. “Bancroft won’t be a problem for much longer. Until then, we will keep you safe.”

“You’re not going to tell me anything else. Are you?”

Humour sparkles in his molten eyes. “No.”

Frustration burns through me, but I hold it at bay. We’ve barely survived a few weeks in the firing line. This man helps run a multimillion-pound business that operates under enemy fire. This is his fight.

Before showing himself out, Enzo glances back at me, looking like he wants to say more.

“What?” I prompt.

“You remind me of someone. She’s feeling guilty right now too.”

When he pauses, I wait for him to gather his thoughts.

“I told her healing is hard.”

“Why do you say that?” I can’t hold the question in.

“Well, it’s a constant battle between your inner child who’s scared and just wants to feel safe… your inner teenager who’s angry and wants justice… and your current self. The one who just wants peace.”

Gaping at him, I’m too surprised to form a response. Enzo drags a palm down his rugged face, his gaze now averted.

“I don’t know if that helps. Good to meet you properly, Ripley. We’ll be in touch.”

With that wise pearl delivered, he turns and leaves. Enzo Montpellier could rival Lennox with his aggressive stomping around, but I doubt anyone could match the heart of gold he seems to have.

Silence drapes over me, broken by the distant ticking of the clock hanging on the wall. Now that I’m alone, all the shameful secrets I’ve just revealed leave me feeling dirty.

Perhaps the different parts of me have been fighting all along. Orphaned Ripley. Angry, grieving Ripley. Abandoned Ripley. Now tired Ripley. In that battleground, I lashed out, creating so much collateral damage.

A layer of blood and tears coat my soul, and short of digging the thing out with a rusty spoon, I’ll never be able to get it clean. Not after all I’ve done to be sitting here today.

The invisible fist in my chest squeezing, I head for the shared bathroom, quickly stripping off the clothing I was given to wear. More essentials and toiletries were delivered this morning.

Studying my bruised torso in the mirror, I poke the sensitive flesh. It could be worse. The pain meds are working. I locate the new shampoo and shower gel we were given before stepping into the shower.

Not so long ago, I stood in a shower and scrubbed the memories of Xander and Lennox from my skin. Life has changed so much since then. I feel lost without the guys all around me now.

Head ducked, I brace my hands on the tiled wall. Water sluices over me, and in the spray, I fail to realise I’m not alone until the bathroom door clicks shut.

“Wha…?”

My exclamation dies on my lips. Leaning against the bathroom door, Lennox watches me through the steamed-up glass. A million warring emotions dance in his eyes beneath ruffled, thick-brown locks.

“You’re done?”

He shrugs. “That Ethan guy didn’t have any more questions. I guess the other interviews are taking longer. Xander and Raine aren’t back yet.”

“I see.”

Continuing to wash myself, I lather my body with foaming shower gel. Lennox’s throat bobs beneath dark stubble overdue for a shave. His chest stretches the bounds of his shirt, the defined muscles making my toes curl.

“What did you tell Enzo?”

“Enough to take to the authorities.” I tip my head back to rinse my hair. “Kept some details brief.”

“Like?” Lennox challenges.

“Like you zip tying me in a swimming pool, for one.”

His gaze lowers, flitting over me unashamedly. “I see.”

A column of heat gathers between my legs, the long slow burn gathering into a raging furnace. I like the way he looks at me. Powerless and hungry. Like he’d beg for a mere touch.

After washing the shower gel from my body, I turn off the spray and step out. Water clings to me, trailing over my curves as I disregard the towel I laid out. The sore bruises and bright-pink gunshot wound on my thigh suddenly feel inconsequential.

Lennox holds stock-still, watching me pad towards him. I stop mere inches away, completely bare. His attention dips to trail over me, greedily drinking in every inch.

It isn’t the first time he’s seen me naked, but we’re not imprisoned in a cell now. He can do whatever he likes.

“Don’t you want to know what I told them?” he asks thickly.

“Not right now. No.”

Nodding, Lennox’s tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip. “So what do you want?”

Pent-up desire has emboldened me. We’ve exchanged heated whispers and the odd kiss since escaping. Yet he refuses to take that next step. I’ll take it for the both of us if I have to.

“For you to keep your word.”

“My word?” He tilts his head.

“I recall you promising to do something.”

His eyes widen in understanding. “I thought you were injured.”

“And I wouldn’t be asking if I couldn’t handle it.”

Without touching me, Lennox holds eye contact as he steps away from the door. I watch him sink to the bathroom floor and land on his knees.

The almighty Lennox Nash is fucking kneeling in front of me. My hand knots in his soft brown hair, giving it a hard tug.

In this position, I feel utterly invincible. The man who vowed to ruin me is cowering on his knees, a million miles from the person he once was.

“Is this what you want?” he purrs.

Feeling brave, I lower my other hand between my legs. My fingers meet slick warmth. I’m wet, my swollen clit aching. Lennox watches me push a hand over my folds, spreading my arousal.

I slide a finger in my pussy, my thumb rotating above my clit. His rapt attention on me is exhilarating. He hasn’t even touched me. This is all about surrender after months of our futile war for revenge.

“Yes,” I answer breathily. “This is what I wanted.”

“What if I tell you that you are the most infuriating, confusing, frustrating person I’ve ever met?” He hesitates, nostrils flaring. “But also the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on?”

Slipping in another finger, I scissor the digits inside me. My back arches, pushing my cunt closer to his face. Still, Lennox doesn’t move an inch, determined to give me all the control.

“And for the longest time, I was terrified of admitting how drawn I felt to you. How you infiltrated my dreams. My thoughts. My fantasies. I was scared to love the very thing I hated.”

Working myself over for his perusal, I fist the hand still knotted in his hair. “Are you still afraid?”

I watch Lennox nod, pulling in fast breaths.

“Of me?”

“No. Now I’m scared of losing you.”

Triumph fills my every cell.

“I want you to forget it all, Nox. Everything we’ve done to each other. And I want you to prove to me how much you want this. Right here, right now.”

Anticipation blazes in his seafoam orbs. “Are you sure?”

“I won’t break. I need you to touch me.”

The tentative Lennox dissipates. All it took was that verbal admission. He knocks my hand aside, sliding my fingers from inside me. Hunger pulses between my legs when he sucks the glistening digits into his mouth.

Lennox swirls his tongue over my fingers, sucking them clean. Then he lowers his mouth to the apex of my thighs, dead set on one target. Placing my other hand on his shoulder, I buck into his face.

When his lips meet my core, I mentally rejoice. The man who tried his best to kill me is now on his knees, worshipping my body. I’ve taken his hatred and turned it into pure lust.

He devours my pussy like a starving man, his tongue dragging over my tingling clit. I continue rocking against him, encouraging each lick. Sparks are zipping up and down my spine in fast succession.

“I can’t wait to feel you, baby.”

When he thrusts a finger into me, I can’t help but cry out. Lennox fucks me with his hand, mouth fastened on my bud with each pulse. The combined effect has my knees weakening.

He pauses for a breath. “You taste so fucking good.”

“Is that all you’ve got?”

“Fuck no. I’m dying to fill this sweet pussy, but I need to prep you first.” His heated gaze flashes to mine. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

I suppress a smirk. The eyeful I got of his package in the bathroom was intriguing. He’s far bigger than any man I’ve been with, matching his stacked height. Part of me wants to push my own limits.

“I want you to come for me, Rip.” His fingers pump into me, hard and fast. “I’m begging you to give me an orgasm. Cover my hand in your juices.”

“Yes,” I moan.

“You like that, huh? When I beg on my knees?”

Squirming, I ride the hand driving me wild in time to his ministrations. My climax is approaching, making my skin tighten and tingle like I’ve been wired with electrodes.

“God, Nox. I like it.”

“What if I beg to throw you on the bed and spread your legs wide open so I can see your glistening, pink cunt?”

“Yes! Oh, fuck. Yes.”

“And what if I beg to sink my cock inside you and stretch this tight little cunt to breaking point?”

“P-Please.”

My vision swims, an electrifying wave washing over me. His dirty words are heightening my arousal to the point of being overwhelmed. I’m going to explode if he keeps going.

“And what if I beg to fill every inch of your spent pussy with my seed? Just so I can see it dripping out of you and trailing down your legs?”

All it takes is a final thrust and I’m erupting all over his hand. My orgasm hits all at once, core spasming and body trembling. I dig my nails into his shoulder, riding out the wave.

Removing his hand, Lennox ensures I’m watching as he slowly sucks each soaked digit, just like he did to mine. His expression is downright predatory. I wonder if I’ll even survive his begging.

“Such a perfect girl,” he croons. “May I stand up now? I’d like to do everything I just said and more.”

Christ.

Everything clenches tight.

“You may,” I pant, my heart galloping. “Take me to your bedroom. Right now.”

Finding his feet, Lennox sweeps me into his arms. I grunt when I’m tossed over his shoulder, the pain flaring through my stiff body only serving to heighten my arousal.

His palm smacks against my bare ass as I’m carried from the bathroom to the room he’s sharing with Xander. The king-sized bed has been neatly made. God forbid the iceman ever leaves a single thing out of place.

As soon as he places me on the mattress, he’s yanking his t-shirt off. I lay back, thighs pressed together to alleviate the intense pressure his words have created.

Naked Lennox is a sight to behold. Barrel chest carved with stacked muscles, his abdominals, pecs and shoulders resemble chiselled marble. Unlike Xander, his skin is bronzed and smattered with dark hair, a trail leading into his sweats.

“Spread your legs, baby. Show me everything.”

I follow his instructions, spreading myself wide open so I’m utterly on display. Lennox’s piercing attention scours over me, drinking in the view as he strips off the rest of his clothes.

The faintest crack of doubt inches in at the sight of him. As I remembered, he’s fucking huge. His shaft is thick and girthy. I’m doubting whether he’ll even fit.

Lennox fists his cock, slowly pumping it. “Don’t look so scared, Rip.”

I squirm on the bed. “Are you going to hold me in suspense?”

Prowling closer, he kneels on the bed above me. The anticipation is heady. I wasn’t ready to give myself to Lennox before, but now I want him to take everything. All I have left to give.

He braces himself over me, moving down to plant open-mouthed kisses across my chest. His lips lock around my right nipple, sweet pain flashing through me when he pulls it deeply into his mouth.

Releasing my nipple, he sucks and bites a path to my left breast, leaving a constellation of red marks. I wriggle beneath him, pleading for any amount of friction.

“So impatient.” His words warm my already scalding skin.

“Nox,” I whine.

“Easy, baby. I want to take my time with you.”

Hasn’t he waited long enough?

Playing with my nipples, he seems determined to cover every part of me in tiny bites. I don’t know if it’s some kind of branding in his mind, a statement to the other men allowed to touch me. I think I like that idea.

“Please,” I try again. “Stop teasing me.”

Lennox lifts his head. “How can I get you to shut up?”

My mouth falls open in protest.

“Ah.” He quirks a thick brow. “I know.”

Pulling me upright, he sits back on his haunches between my legs. Lennox threads his hand through my hair, pushing my head down towards his proud cock.

“I’ll fuck your throat if that’s the only way to teach you patience.”

He pushes himself past my lips, holding my head in place. The rough handling only makes me hotter. I take his length deep into my mouth, bobbing up and down on his shaft.

His grip on my head guides my moves, allowing him to set the pace. Lennox doesn’t deny himself, pushing down fast so he can roughly ride my mouth. Each time he hits the back of my throat, tears spring up in my eyes.

“That’s it.” His praise is guttural. “Get me nice and wet so I can slide into that dripping cunt.”

Tongue swirling over the velvety tip, I suck him deep once more, feeling moisture springing from my eyes. I can’t take all of him—he’s too big to fit into my mouth even while relaxing my jaw.

“Yes, Rip. Perfect. Let me fuck that mouth, baby.”

I could fall apart from his enthusiastic praise alone. It’s making my pulse thrum, struggling to hold the excitement building within me. I had no idea he’d be so vocal.

He ruts into my mouth, over and over. Pushing deeper each time. Forcing me to suck down more of his huge length until I’m gagging on his cock and loving every intense second.

“God, how I want to pour myself down your throat. You are everything, Rip. Fucking everything.”

Before he can finish, Lennox eases himself from my mouth. I sit up with streaming cheeks, my chin soaked by strands of saliva.

“Lay down,” he commands. “Now.”

I’m shaking so hard, it’s a relief to slump back on the bed. He retakes his position, pushing my thighs farther apart until my bones ache to fit his wide frame.

The head of his dick slides through my folds, swirling heat and moisture. He teases my slit with it, only entering me the smallest amount before withdrawing and sliding himself around my entrance again.

“More!” I beg shamelessly.

Each slow tease is torture. I want him to surge into me and take me as roughly as he did my mouth. We may not be enemies anymore, but I’d happily let him fuck me like we are.

“Please… Oh god. Please give it to me.”

“Are you this demanding with the others?”

Writhing beneath him, I don’t answer. Lennox bares his teeth and pushes farther into me, his girth straining my walls. We both groan at the same time.

“So goddamn tight.”

He withdraws before I can fully adjust, sliding out before nudging back inside. The agonising dance goes on and on with him giving an extra push then snatching it away each time.

My mind is starting to fray. He’s barely entered me, and it already feels like too much. I’m not a shrinking violet. I’ve slept with my fair share of guys. None that rival Lennox, though.

Giving me more of his cock, he rocks into me. The shallow thrusts make me stretch to accommodate him. I couldn’t take him if I wasn’t so frenziedly turned on right now.

Each time he pushes forward, I take a little bit more. Adjusting to the pressure is excruciating in all the best ways. It feels like my mind is set to split in half before I can orgasm again.

“Nox,” I whimper, overwhelmed.

“It’s okay, Rip. You’re doing so good. Can you take a bit more, baby?”

He moves faster, retreating and thrusting back in enough to make me moan loudly. It’s too much. I’m so full. Stretched to my limits. Lennox is filling every part of me, mentally and physically.

“Just like that,” he hums. “Good.”

“Oh f-fuck. Nox!”

“That’s it. You can take me. I know you can.”

When he bottoms out, we’re both struggling for air. Lennox shifts his hips, finding the perfect angle to glide into me with steady strokes. I’m over-stimulated, my skin slick beneath his weight above me.

“You’re so fucking perfect.”

Lennox palms my breast, squeezing tight as he jerks into me. The burst of pain is welcome. It cuts through my mind’s fog and gives me something to latch onto amidst all the warring sensations.

He pistons into me, switching between shallow thrusts that stoke my building climax and deep pounds, delaying my release each time it nears. Just as I feel it within reach, he slows his pace, holding me on the brink.

It’s like he can read my body, translating each tremble and whimper to determine exactly when to restrain himself. Lennox is determined to break me open and take my shattered pieces for himself.

“You take me so well,” he grunts in exertion. “So damn well. It’s like you were made for me.”

I gasp and moan, my body slick with our combined sweat. I wonder if the others have returned and they’re listening to everything Lennox is saying. Their friend’s mouth is filthy.

Feeling my core tense, I’m ready to finish. My bruised body is taut, desperate for relief. The cusp of my orgasm rises, on the precipice of consuming me, when Lennox abruptly pulls out.

“Not yet.”

I scream loudly, slamming my clenched fist against his chest. “Fuck! Lennox!”

“You know, Xander warned me you’re a little brat. I may have begged, but now, you’re going to come when I say so.”

“Goddamn you!”

“And not a moment sooner,” he adds, ignoring my outrage.

He stands, seizing my ankles to pull me to the mattress edge. I’m a boneless pile as he turns me over, my stomach meeting the bed and face burying in the warm sheets.

Lennox lifts my hips, positioning me like I’m a limp doll. When he surges inside me from behind, I come back to life. My hands twist in the sheets, needing something to hold on to.

I distantly hear him spit before it hits my ass, sliding down into my crack. I startle at the impact, surprised by his fingers pushing the saliva farther down until he’s circling my asshole.

My whines reach a fever-pitch.

“Have you ever taken a man here before?”

I’m not going to tell him about Raine finger-blasting my rear while he fucked me during a depressive episode. We need at least some boundaries.

“I was jealous, watching Raine ride your mouth.” Lennox’s fingertip enters me. “But I also wanted to join in.”

He pushes in deeper, listening to my muffled wails. I’m already full to the brim. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, he finds a new limit to test.

Working his finger in and out of my backside, Lennox resumes fucking me. His timing is perfect, breaching each hole simultaneously. My stolen orgasm comes soaring back within reach.

“Easy, baby. You’re tensing up.”

“Because you won’t let me come!”

He chuckles behind me. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to do this? You can hold out a little longer.”

Digging my nails into the bed, the room is filled with the sound of our bodies smacking together. It’s reaching intolerable levels. I’m far too full to cope with his thrusting much longer.

“I hate you!”

Pain sizzles across my scalp as Lennox seizes my wet hair. He manages to twist the short curls around his fingers, forming a tight leash. My head is wrenched back, pulling my torso upwards.

“Say that again,” he hisses. “I dare you.”

I’m suspended mid-air by his grip on my hair alone, his cock still plunging into me. It’s a dominating move, inflicting pain to silence me while he’s still fucking me into oblivion.

Breasts pushed out, I think he’s going to finally relent. Only for him to still again when I don’t respond, denying me right before I can fall apart. My throat is raw from crying out.

“Well?” Lennox tugs on my hair.

Panting, I can’t string a response together. Lennox slides his finger from my asshole to deliver a punishing spank. It leaves a fiery brand on my skin, already sensitive from his constant teasing.

“Do you hate me when I’ve got my cock in you?”

“No,” I moan helplessly.

“Then don’t lie. Or I’ll keep you hanging for an eternity.”

“Please… Nox. Let me come. Please.”

He swats me again, right above my soaked asshole. “No.”

“Please!”

My ass is still tingling from his penetration, the feeling intensified by him striking me. Shockwaves roll over me, exploding in every limb.

“I want something from you.”

“A-Anything,” I whimper.

Lennox pushes back into my slit, nudging the hidden spot inside me that makes stars burst behind my eyes. A strangled sound erupts from me. I can hear how soaking wet I am from so many denials.

“I told you how I feel, Rip.” His voice is rough, like he’s trying desperately not to finish. “Now I want to hear it from you.”

Another hard slap causes his grip on my hair to tense. The white-hot pain blurs with everything going haywire inside me. It sends my system into a cataclysmic meltdown.

“Hear what?” I bleat uselessly.

Lennox swaps to a slow roll, his hips jerking. “I heard what you said to Raine. You love him. I won’t begrudge you that, Rip.”

He delivers another loud smack, causing me to cry out his name.

“But I’m a selfish bastard. I need proof that you’ve forgiven me.”

His tempo increases again, slapping our bodies together. I’m going to slide off the bed in a boneless puddle if he doesn’t stop this game.

“I want to hear that you love me.”

The son of a bitch.

He’s trying to tear the truth out of me. Fuck me until I have no fight left to give and steal my affections before I can change my mind. But worst of all?

I want to give it to him. He wants proof. Fine. I’ll hand over the signed confession he needs to finally move on. We’ve come too far to stop before the final hurdle.

“Lennox.” The six letters strain my vocal cords. “You’re a sadistic motherfucker.”

Spank.

“Argh! Fuck! But I do… I do love you. God, I fucking love you.”

Spank.

“Again!” he commands.

“You insane asshole! I am in love with you!”

Spank.

The sheer intensity has tears saturating my cheeks. I can no longer tell exquisite pain from pleasure anymore. I’ve melted into him, too weak to withstand his onslaught.

Spank.

“Now,” Lennox orders. “Come all over my cock, baby.”

It’s all the permission my mind needs. It splinters apart, the individual lobes rupturing behind my skull. The howl pouring from me doesn’t sound like my own. I’ve become something unrecognisable.

My climax is so intense, I faintly wonder if I’m going to black out. It feels like too much to hold inside. Every part of me is quivering, exhausted by his relentless teasing.

The hot burst of his release surging inside me makes my own deep pangs roll on and on. Lennox roars through his climax, hands clamping on my hips so he can pour every last drop into me.

“Take it all.” He thrusts furiously. “Milk me dry, baby.”

“God! Yes!”

I shout out through each iteration of blissful agony. I’ve fallen flat onto the soaked sheets, unable to hold myself up any longer. Lennox pulls out and slumps, lifting me so I can rest on his chest.

Beneath my head, his heart rate is a racing symphony. Warmth slicks between us as our essences mingle. I feel utterly spent, every part of me wrung-out.

“Fuck,” he gasps.

My eyes are sealed shut. “That was… intense.”

A hand drags up and down my sweaty spine, rough fingertips pausing on the healing punctures left by the taser.

As we both struggle to catch our breath, I hear the faint words he forces out. It takes all my strength to raise my head to look up at him.

“What?”

Blazing lake water eyes flick over me. “Nothing.”

“I heard you, Nox. Just say it again.”

His mouth crooks in a tired smile.

“I love you.”

Lowering my mouth to his, I press our lips together. Lennox kisses me passionately, his tongue gliding over my lips to seek entrance before filling my mouth.

He’s everywhere. Tongue brushing mine. Hands wrapped around my hips. Chests glued together. For a man who once couldn’t stand the sight of me, he’s now practically living in my skin.

“I love you,” I reply simply.

“You meant it?” His smile is wide. “Not just a mid-sex confession?”

“I mean, you did torture it out of me. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

Resting our foreheads together, I feel the final pathetic wall stacked around my heart crumble to ruin. The inevitable destruction feels like fucking nirvana.

I’ve opened my heart to them all. Accepted the possibility of grief for the chance at something more. A future without emptiness and heartache. Perhaps a happy ending.

I’ll do anything to get that.

Even if I don’t deserve it.