Burning Truth (Lost and Found Columbus #3)

Chapter 17

17

A ddie slept like the dead, only crawling out of the nest of Severn’s arms when she was worried her bladder was going to burst. She went to the bathroom, drank a huge glass of water to replenish, then went back to bed. Even so deeply asleep, Severn roused enough to pull her into his arms again.

They slept for a few more hours, and when Addie finally opened her eyes, it was almost noon. She’d slept the clock around, and it had been glorious. She’d been so exhausted, her body had shut down.

She knew she’d slept so deeply because Monster had been apprehended. She didn’t have the worry niggling at her brain that she was responsible for more deaths, either directly or indirectly. Her conscience was clear. And her body had taken the opportunity to recharge.

When she looked over at Severn, she smiled. He was wide awake, and looking at her. He smiled lazily in response, and Addie moved close enough to kiss him.

Severn was sporting a magnificent morning wood, and she grinned as she rocked her hips into him. “Good morning,” she whispered, her voice husky.

“Good morning to you,” he said, cupping her hip to pull her tight.

“How did you sleep,” she asked.

Something flickered over his expression, but he shrugged. “Not bad.”

Yeah, right. She drew back a little. “That had to have been scary for you yesterday, being in that burning van. And then the fire last night.”

He sighed, rolling onto his back to look up at the ceiling. “It was,” he admitted, his mouth tight. “I had dreams about my guys last night. That was the closest I’ve been to being burned again since I was blown up in Afghanistan.”

“I’d like to know about your team,” she said, wondering if he would tell her.

He rocked his head enough to look at her out of the corner of his eye, then looked back at the ceiling. It took him a long time to start talking. “I was in a five-man team. Blaze was our leader.”

“Blaze? Isn’t that a little trite?” she lifted a brow, but smiled to let him know she was teasing.

Severn grinned as well. “Yeah, if you knew him, though, it was totally appropriate. More balls than sense. The guy knew what he was doing, though. Then there was Ray Sharp. We came up through training together and joined Blaze’s team. Corey Montgomery, a big bear of a man with an adrenaline streak a mile wide, was the oldest character on the team. He would just grin at you with this look in his eyes, like nothing ever got him down. Len Bridger was our fifth. Quiet dude with a dangerous side.” Severn sighed. “They were all good guys.”

“What happened to you?”

He didn’t answer her for a long time, and when he did, she could tell it was painful. “We had been going for a long time, call after call. We dismantled so many IEDs. We were exhausted. Finally got a break in this little town. The Brits had told us about this house. It had been where one of the government officials lived. We could camp out and get some good sleep for the night. They said it even had running water. So, that’s where we went.”

He cleared his throat. “We were traveling with this little interpreter. He disappeared for a while when we were settling in, and we didn’t think anything of it. Blaze got his shower, then I got mine. I was heading downstairs when Ali came back. I heard Blaze scream out ‘no’, and then the world exploded.”

Addie had her hand over her mouth. At some point, she’d sat up beside him, and her other hand gripped his. Severn’s fingers were tight on hers, but she didn’t say anything.

Severn sat up abruptly, his gaze looking into the past. “I remember seeing this ball of fire rolling toward me. Swallowing me. The pain was immediate. I jumped into a side room, but I was already on fire. And then the house came down on top of me.”

Addie gasped, her eyes filling with tears. Severn glanced at her. “A group of Marines apparently heard the blast, and me screaming, and pulled me out. I wasn’t aware of anything for about three weeks. When I woke up, I wished I hadn’t. My entire team was gone, and I was in more pain than I’d ever felt in my life. Investigators told me we’d stopped in Ali’s hometown, but he didn’t tell us. And even though we’d been with him for months, fed him, laughed with him, helped his family out, the ideals he’d grown up with prevailed. He and his family were Taliban, and he died in a ‘divine sacrifice’. I’m sure they were overjoyed. Took me four months to get out of the hospital.”

Severn shook his head, anger settling into his features. Addie didn’t blame him. That was so fucked up. “I’m so sorry you went through that,” she whispered, her throat tight with shared pain. She ran her hand over his back, wanting to wrap him in her arms, but he’d gone a little distant. And maybe he needed to just to put the pain away. She didn’t push him, just waited while he sorted through his memories.

Abruptly, he blinked, and looked at her. “It took a long time for me to recover. They rolled me out of the Navy, though I still go back and teach sometimes. I think the brass just brings me in to remind the punks what could happen if somebody screws up.” He motioned vaguely with his hand toward himself, and it made her mad on his behalf.

“I love you,” she said abruptly, and then blinked. The words had just popped out before she could stop them, but she didn’t regret them. “I’m in love with you,” she continued. “I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, and I’m sure you’ll come up with all kinds of excuses for why this is so wrong between us, but I freaking love you. And I love your scars. They are a part of you, so I love them.”

He stared at her for a long moment, absorbing her words, before he looked away. “I don’t think…”

She held up a hand. “I knew you were going to do this. I also know what’s in my heart, and I want to be with you for real, not just because of some maniac. You are one of the most intelligent, grounded men I’ve ever met, and I love being with you.” She grinned. “You also give me the best orgasms I’ve ever had.”

Severn snorted, his hand reaching for hers. “Same,” he admitted, “but I don’t think we should rush into anything. We’ve been in this house together for a few days, and proximity works on your emotions.”

Addie shook her head. “I’m sure it does, but I was drawn to you before I even knew your name. I saw you at the warehouse fire, and I just wanted to walk up and wrap my arms around you. When I thought you were the arsonist, it really messed with my head, because how could I be drawn so strongly to a guy that could do something like that?”

He shook his head, smiling, as she continued.

“I love you, Severn, no matter what you say. I’ll give you time if you need it, but it’s not going to change anything in my heart.”

He quirked his brows at that and cocked his head at her. “Can I talk now?”

Addie felt her cheeks go pink, and she nodded.

“I don’t like the way people look at me. It’s been very hard being public with you this week. But I enjoy being with you. I know I’m here for a job, but I’ve actually enjoyed being in the house with you, and seeing your life. You’re so warm and giving, and at first I didn’t think it could be real, the way you approached people. That wasn’t how I grew up, and I’d never seen someone be so warm and considerate with absolute strangers. So, at first I thought you were treating me like a stranger, warm and open like you are.”

She shook her head, and he held up a hand to forestall her words. “I know now, looking back, that you are different with me. You’ve never looked at me like I was a freak because of my scars.”

She scowled. “Because you’re not.”

He smiled a little crooked. “I appreciate that. More than I can tell you.”

Severn reached up and stroked Addie’s cheek, his eyes filled with a tenderness she had rarely seen from him. “You’ve seen me at my most vulnerable, Addie. You’ve seen the scars that haunt me, both physical and emotional. And yet, you still look at me the same way - with nothing but warmth and acceptance.”

“Love,” she said simply.

He let out a slow, shaky breath. “I’ve never had that before. Everyone else, they see the scars first. The damaged, broken man. But you...” His thumb traced the curve of her jaw. “You see me. Just Severn.”

Addie covered his rough-skinned hand with hers, holding it against her face. “Of course I do. How could I not? You’re the most incredible man I’ve ever known.” She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his palm. “I love you, scars and all. And I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard you might try to push me away.”

Severn pulled her closer, gathering her into his arms. “I don’t deserve you,” he murmured against her hair. “But God help me, I don’t think I can let you go.”

Addie melted into him, relief and joy flooding through her. “Then don’t. Stay with me, Severn. We’ll figure the rest out together.”

He kissed her then, and even though he hadn’t said the words, she could feel the sentiment in the way he touched her. Severn made love to Addie like he was a dying man, and it was his last day on Earth or something. It was humbling, the way he took the time to pet and caress her, and give her joy. And when he cradled her against his chest, when they were done, she felt the love in the air.

Both of their phones rang at the same time. Severn jerked awake, but he didn’t reach for it. It could go to voicemail. He’d been in a nice, light doze after making love to Addie. Then he remembered what she’d said to him, and this weird wash of feeling rolled through him. She loved him. The beautiful Addie Kingston loved him. She wanted to be with him. And he didn’t think he was man enough to tell her no.

Severn had very rarely ever heard the words ‘I love you’. His mother had told him that a few times. Once when she’d been tipsy on wine, and a second time when he’d almost died in the hospital and they’d come to see him. He thought there had been a time when she’d dropped him off at boarding school, but that one he wasn’t firm on. And Blaze had told him that once, in a brotherly, I love you, man , drunk ramble. The point was, Severn had been told I love you fewer times than he had fingers on one hand.

And now Addie had told him she loved him, not because he’d just saved her life or because she was drunk. She felt that she loved him. And it was a little confusing for him. Yes, he’d seen instances of love around him, but he’d never experienced it himself. The women he slept with were blips on his radar, there for a physical release, and that was it.

Addie was more, though. She was radiant, both inside and out, and he felt like a fucking idiot even thinking those words, but they applied to her so perfectly. Even with bed head and sleepy dirt in her eyes, she was everything to him.

His phone buzzed again. Rolling over, Severn picked it up. There was a text from Detective Johnson. We have problems. Call me as soon as you get this.

“Fuck,” he said.

Addie sat up, pushing her fingers through her hair to straighten it. “What’s wrong?”

“Detective Johnson says they have problems. We need to call.”

Addie went pale, and he hated that fear-filled look on her face.

Severn hit the button to return the call. Johnson answered on the first ring.

“Are you still watching Addie? I can’t get through to her.”

Severn grinned slightly, putting the detective on speaker phone. “She’s here. What’s going on?”

Detective Johnson heaved a sigh. “Addie, I hate to do this, but I need to ask you for a favor.”

“What’s that, Detective?”

“Russel Dunn is refusing to answer questions. Rodrigo and I went in to interview him, and he wouldn’t say a word. He hasn’t invoked his lawyer privilege, yet, but he refuses to talk. The only thing he said, as we were leaving the room, was that he would like to speak to you, in person, and that we should make it happen soon, before more people die. We asked him to explain, and he clammed up, just tapped his wrist. Would you be willing to speak to him?”

Severn hated the haunted look in her eyes. She’d known that there would be the chance that she’d have to testify later, but he knew she thought she’d been through with the direct contact. Her expression tightened, and she sighed. “Yes. I’ll be in.”

“Thank you. We have a team going through his house now, as well as his office at his place of work, but we’re not finding much. We need to fill in some blanks, and we’re hoping that if he talks to you, he’ll want to brag a little.”

“I get it, Detective,” she said, her voice subdued. “Let me get cleaned up and we’ll be in.”

Severn pressed the screen to hang up, watching as Addie moved to the side of the bed and stood. She’d pulled on a Dire Straits t-shirt at some point, but as she circled the bed, she stripped it off, then dropped her panties as she headed into the bathroom. “Let me grab a quick shower, and we’ll go.”

Severn didn’t like the way she was acting. Pushing off the bed, he crossed to her. “Hey,” he said, and she paused. Moving close, he reached for her hands. They were ice cold. He leaned down to catch her gaze. “Look at me, Addie.”

Her eyes flashed up to his, and he could see the fear in them. And he could see she was struggling to contain that emotion. “You’re okay. You don’t have to do this.”

Addie shook her head. “We’re still dancing to his tune, but I refuse to be the reason why he hurts more people. If he wants to talk to me, he can talk to me, and he will see the contempt I feel for him.”

That spark of fire was still there, and Severn smiled. “You know, I’ve not been loved very much in my life, but you inspire this feeling inside me that has to be love. I admire you, and I admire your courage in everything you’ve faced this week. I know it hasn’t been easy.” Her eyes filled with tears, and it gutted him. “But you’ve rallied so many times. You are a courageous woman, and I don’t know why you love me, but I will do my absolute best to love you back and be worthy of your feelings.”

Addie broke into sobs, and Severn pulled her into his arms. He held her tight and they swayed a little in the middle of the tile bathroom. Severn’s eyes burned, like he’d been in a smoky room, but he didn’t let her go.

Addie didn’t linger, though. Pulling away, she swiped her fingers beneath her eyes. “Thank you, Severn. I kind of needed that right now. Let’s get cleaned up and get this over with. I’m so over Russel Dunn, it isn’t even funny.”

Snorting, Severn reached around her and cranked the water in the shower. “I get it. Let’s get this done.”