Burning Your Lies (King and Queen Duet #2)

40

Savannah

“Are you okay?”

Francesca peers over at me from the driver’s seat.

I blink back the tears that are threatening to fall.

“Of course. How are you? Things must be so busy at work with me gone.”

“Being a PA for both of them is exhausting.”

She’s stealing looks at me again.

“Why did you quit? I’m not trying to pry, but it was really sudden.”

“I just couldn’t work with him anymore. It was too hard with everything that has happened.”

She parks the car, but neither of us makes any move to get out.

“So the rumours are true? You and him…”

I nod.

“Not my finest moments.”

She takes my hand in hers.

“I’m not judging you. I had my suspicions, but then you and Ray just made more sense to me, so I brushed it away.”

The weak side of me wants to ask if she still holds that same confidence in us. It’s been two weeks since our argument and things between me and him remain as broken as they were. He has successfully avoided me by spending my waking hours at work, only returning home once he knows I have gone to bed. When he enters our bedroom to grab some clothes, I always pretend I am sleeping.

I know he’s heard my nightmare induced screams in the middle of the night. There hasn’t been a single night where Mia and Jordan haven’t tormented me in my sleep. I’ve woken drenched in sweat and fear since their deaths. Last night, Mia appeared with black holes for eyes, begging me to save her. If Huxley could stand to be in the room with me for longer than five seconds, I would tell him what’s happened.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, you look absolutely gorgeous, but tired.”

Offering my only remaining genuine friend a truth, I say, “Me and Hux are going through a bit of a rough patch.”

“That explains why he looks exhausted as well. Is that why I’m your date for tonight?”

I look up at Xavier mansion and suppress the urge to shudder. I haven’t stepped inside his house since the night he got me sectioned. It would be a lie to say anxiety isn’t fluttering in my stomach.

“Yeah. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Elise.”

As always, Francesca doesn’t pry for information. She puts on her best smile.

“Let’s drink some of his expensive wine, eat a five-star meal, and get the hell out of here.”

I mouth thank you to her. My arm threads through hers as we wait for someone to open the door. My chest is rising and falling, but I need to pull myself together. It’s just a house, I reason.

I catch my reflection in the mirror and nod at her. Unlike my usual style, I’ve gone for a simple look today. My cream dress is moulded to my body, but leaves nothing on show. Having no energy to get dolled-up, I went for a minimal makeup look and lazily put my hair in a half up, half down style.

“Welcome,”

Brynn says as she opens the door.

“Please come in.”

We walk behind her as she leads us into the main living room, where most of the guests are already mingling. I’m too busy looking for a waiter with alcohol, so I miss what Francesca spots.

“Did you know he was going to be here?”

I don’t need to ask who she is talking about, because his stare burns through me and makes me want to crumble. Huxley has ditched his suit jacket and is nursing a crystal glass filled with a gold liquid. Thinking his stare is disguised by the crowd, his eyes scan me from head to toe, but his thoughts are unreadable.

I turn my head in the opposite direction.

“I didn’t know he was going to be here.”

“He looks really sad. Maybe you should talk to him and sort it out.”

I hand her a flute of champagne, hoping it will stop her from talking. But I would rather have dealt with her than the devil walking towards me. The only reason I don’t walk away is because Elise is already stretching her arms out for me. I engulf her with a tight squeeze.

“Hi, baby.”

She touches the few strands of hair that frame my face. “Pretty.”

“I’m glad you could make it, Savannah.”

I tell myself to act normal, but I can barely lift the corners of my mouth. “Xavier.”

“I see you have a different date tonight.”

He turns to Francesca.

“Thank you for coming to my annual Christmas lunch.”

Bound by women's code, Francesca gives him a forced smile.

“A bit early for Christmas celebrations, no?”

“Myself, Brynn, and Elise are going to have a quiet family celebration this year.”

“Savannah was just telling me that her and Huxley were spending the holidays with his family. I guess I’m the only one spending it alone.”

A genuine smile graces my lips.

“You’re more than welcome to join us. I’m sure Hadley will be happy to squeeze another person into our girls’ night.”

“What’s this about girls’ night?”

Brynn, dressed in a sexy, deep red dress, comes to Xavier’s side.

“I enjoy a girls’ night.”

He smiles at her.

“Perhaps you could join them sometime.”

The glint in her eye is hard to ignore.

“There’s always some fun in having secrets between just us girls.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” he jokes.

She playfully slaps his arm.

“All us women have secrets from our partners. I’m sure Savannah has a few of her own Ray is not privy to.”

Nobody but me can detect the undercurrent to her tone. She knows I still haven’t told Huxley about Mia and Jordan.

“Please excuse me.”

I leave the room, holding onto Elise as if she can protect me from the mixture of emotions swimming in me.

I feel suffocated at the dinner table between Huxley and Xavier. The presence of both men overwhelms me. I desperately need to leave. I call for Brynn.

“Set her next to me.”

I ignore Xavier’s irritation as Elise’s chair is put between me and him.

Having someone else to focus on, the weight in my chest eases. I’m completely amazed at all the skills she has developed and I find joy in her eating a meal the way only a mother can.

“Savannah, your food is getting cold.”

In the time I’ve had my back turned to him, Huxley has filled my plate and eaten halfway through his. Just one look at him, and all I want to do is cry.

“You’ll have to invite some of your friends next time, Savannah,”

Brynn says from across the table.

“What were their names again?”

Xavier hides his smile behind his hand.

“Mia and Jordan,”

he answers for me.

The mere sound of him murmuring their names fills me with an overwhelming heaviness, tears welling up in my eyes as I’m reminded of the void their absence has left behind. He silently challenges me to kick up a fuss. But I keep my composure.

“This isn’t really their thing.”

“I’m sure they’ll enjoy it. Ray, why don’t you call them and invite them over to games night at our home next week?”

She’s trying to force me to tell him the truth.

“Sounds like a wonderful idea,”

Xavier goads.

“They’ve gone travelling,”

I blurt out, not wanting to talk about them here.

But Huxley’s body stills and he studies my side profile. His face is a blank canvas, but I love him enough to know he’s hurting. His leg momentarily jitters and his thumb twitches. Then his empty eyes meet my tear-filled ones and I know he understands what I mean.

I push my chair back and stand up.

“I need to use the ladies’ room.”

I don’t wait for anyone before I am rushing out of there. I barely make it up the stairs and into a bedroom before my back is pressed against a wall and I am covering my mouth to contain my sobs. But nothing works, not even when I count to ten or give myself a pep talk. My cries are absorbed by the walls, uncaring and free.

He shuts the door behind him and traps me between the wall and his body. His blue eyes are vibrant and full of life.

“You always look so beautiful when you cry.”

“Please, just leave me alone.”

He tucks my hair behind my ear.

“You know I can’t do that, Savannah. Me and you are bound by something so much stronger than marriage. It doesn’t matter whose ring you wear, or the bed you sleep in, I will always be with you. You cannot escape me the same way I cannot be without you.”

I look at him.

“How could you do that to me? They were all I had left.”

“You only need me.”

Unable to stop myself, I fall apart in his arms.

“How do I make it stop, Xavier? I can’t do anything without them haunting me.”

He moves away from me and takes a seat on the bed.

“When I die, will you cry for me?”

I brush my tears away. “What?”

Already having an answer, he shakes his head.

“Stupid question. You can’t cry if you’re dead.”

“I hate you,”

I whisper.

“I fucking hate you.”

I storm over to him.

“I hate you!” I scream as loud as I can.

“And I love you. Even though you’re the worst thing to have ever happened to me, I love you. And I would rather kill you than let anybody else have you.”

I scoff at him.

“You don’t love me. If you loved me, you never would have made me do that. You would have saved Mia.”

He stands up.

“I gave you the choice.”

My hands push against his chest.

“You shot her.”

“Because even in that moment, you chose wrong. I told you Savannah, all you had to do was choose me.”

Unable to form any words, my mouth hangs open.

“You mean … I could have saved them?”

With tears streaming down my face, I struggle to catch my breath. My body heaves in desperation as I lean out the window, desperately gasping for a lifeline to calm my racing heart. I tell myself that he’s just torturing me. He’s lying. But part of me knows he’s being truthful. That last night in this house, when it was just the two of us playing chess, he promised he would not kill me. He honoured that and found a different way to silence me.

“Even when I hold the key to your happiness, you cannot see me. And that is why I will haunt you until you see me, even when I am not there. For the rest of your life, you will look over your shoulder for me. Just the mere thought of me will torment you to insanity, as you have done to me.”

“You’re insane,”

I whisper.

“Even after all this you still think I could want you. You’re fucking crazy!”

He playfully tuts.

“Oh, come on, Miss Hayes. You promised an invigorating game. One minor loss on your side, and you’ve become a misery. I’ve had more fun playing tea party with Elise than I’m having with you.”

He tilts his head.

“Or are the stakes too high for you?”

“You’ve made it so I have nothing to lose, Xavier. The only one the stakes are high for is you. So I would be careful. You just never know when it’s going to come crashing down.”

With one last look, I open the bedroom door. My tears are still falling when I rejoin the party to grab my handbag. I ignore their stares and beeline for the front door.

My eyes sting from all the crying. I threw myself a pity party by getting into pyjamas and curling up in my bed. I know I need to snap out of it because this is what he wants. He wants to throw me off my game because I’ve been winning. But I can’t turn off my humanity as he can.

But you need to.

“Travelling?”

Huxley’s voice makes me jump. “Sav?”

He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and an expectant look on his face.

“I just asked you a question.”

This is the first time he’s spoken to me since our fight. He’s had the chance to speak to me, but he took every opportunity to ignore me. When he heard my screams, he could have come in and asked what was wrong. He could have held me. But he didn’t. So, he doesn’t get to do that now.

“Are you going to speak to me?”

“Why, Huxley? Because you’ve decided that I’m worthy to be spoken to again? Just take what you came for, and go.”

The bed dips under his weight.

“I won’t ask again.”

“Just leave me alone.”

We lock eyes. I ignore my tears while he fixates on them.

“Do you really want me to go?”

“Yes,”

I lie.

“You’ve already left me. I’m all alone.”

“Sav…”

“Just stop!”

I cry.

“Just stop it. Don’t look at me like that. Don’t call my name like that. You’ve made it very clear where we stand. I don’t need you to pretend to be my protector. I don’t need you to slay my dragons. I have done it alone my whole life. And I will do the same now. So, just go.”

I turn around and collect myself.

Huxley doesn’t move for a few seconds. But when he does, his footsteps aren’t retreating. His arms wrap around my waist.

“Let it out.”

I struggle against him. “Get off.”

“No.”

“Hux!”

“Let it out.”

“Let go of me!” I scream.

“No. You asked me to do that once, and I listened. I know how that story played out.”

“Stop it.”

My chest rises and falls.

“Let go of me.”

“You’re not alone.”

“Yes, I am!”

I scream so loud he flinches. I use that split second to escape from him and climb off the bed.

“Where were you? Where have you been? In a moment of anger and hurt, you broke it all. I made a mistake, Hux! And my punishment was greater than you will ever know. Where have you been? When I woke in terror, where were you? When I made it home for dinner every single night, where were you? Don’t stand there and tell me I’m not alone! Because you weren’t there! Not when I needed you. Not when Mia and Jordan begged for their life! Not when he handed me the gun and forced me to choose. Where were you when Jordan’s cries stopped from the bullet I fired? Where were you when he shot Mia after promising to save her? Where were you?”

True to his nature, Huxley says nothing. He stands immobile in the room as I dare him to stand by his earlier statement.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

he asks, a few silent minutes later.

“You made it clear you wanted no part of this.”

“This is different,”

he seethes.

“You should have told me they were dead!”

“I shouldn’t have had to tell you! How could you not see that I was crumbling? I have spent the last two weeks barely keeping it together.”

“I thought … I thought…”

He shakes his head.

“He’s going to pay.”

There’s a swirl of anger and something else mixed with the amber in his eyes.

I take a second to realise its heartbreak. Huxley is hurting. He looks around the room as if he can’t comprehend the truth. I wasn’t expecting so much emotion to brim in eyes. But then I realise how much time he spent with them while I was in that home. This started with the three of them. Huxley spent hours upon hours with Mia and Jordan to kick start this plan. And somewhere along the way, he began to care for them.

“You’re not going to do anything,” I warn.

His storm is directed at me.

“Like hell, I’m not!”

“There’s no proof. And let’s not forget that I’m the one that shot Jordan.”

“Are you going to let him get away with this?”

I shake my head.

“No. But I need to be smarter than him. He’s riding on hubris right now. And I’m going to let him. Because soon his arrogance will only be a memory.”

“I’m sorry, Sav.”

Unable to tolerate anymore heartache, I brush it off.

“I don’t want to talk about it. This changes nothing. I will respect your wishes and keep you out of this.”

“I don’t want that.”

I look at Huxley. Really look at him. There’s a desperation in him I haven’t seen in him before. His shoulders are bared back and his hands rigid, almost as if he’s forcing himself to stay back. There’s no denying that I love him. I want a life with him after this, but who knows what the future holds.

“And I can’t handle the pain of you walking away from me again. Twice I have begged you, Hux. And both times you let me down.”

“This is different.”

I nod.

“You’re right, because this time I won’t ask you to stay. I won’t beg again. I’ll slay the dragon myself, even if it means I burn, too.”