Butcher

Chapter 21

21

Sexton

Walking into the locker room, I snagged a banana and Gatorade from the snack table and took a seat in the chair in front of my locker. We all waited for Coach to give us a pep talk even though we knew what we needed to do: win. I glanced at Austin, who had an ice pack resting on his shoulder. He’d taken some hits against the boards, which wasn’t unusual, but I also didn’t enjoy seeing them.

Biting into my fruit, I tried to clear my head and mentally prepare for the final period, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my mother. Coming to the game in Dallas was one thing, but now she was in St. Louis and giving me the same spiel about my father being out of town and she didn’t have anything else to do.

While that may have been true, in the five years I’d been playing professionally, she hadn’t once come to a game except last season in Vegas when we won the Cup. And she had gone with my father, not alone. And I couldn’t help but think that was only because he was traveling for a church thing.

I took another bite of my banana, chewing slowly, and tried to ignore the gnawing unease settling in my stomach. As I washed down the fruit with a swig of Gatorade, I watched Austin adjust his ice pack with a wince. He caught my eye and gave a small nod as if to say, “It’s all part of the game.” And I knew that. Kaylee and I would just have to rub him down later.

Except my mom was probably going to crash in my room again. The room that was literally connected to Austin’s. The room Kaylee would sleep in with him. Luckily mine had two beds, but would she question why I wasn’t going to sleep in Austin’s again like I had in Dallas? I couldn’t chance her hearing us, even if we were only talking.

Coach finally strode in, and the room fell silent as he began his pep talk. As he spoke, I focused on tightening my skates. I wanted to push the distraction of my mother away and channel all my energy into the game. I glanced over at Austin again; he was grimacing but still nodding along with Coach’s words. If he could gut it out, so could I.

I took a deep breath, trying to center myself. Whatever was happening off the ice could wait. Right now, it was all about the game, and nothing else mattered but the next shift.

As we geared up, I grabbed my phone to send a text to Kaylee to check on her, but the one staring back at me made my stomach drop to the floor.

Mom: The sweet girl I was sitting next to had an emergency. She was all alone so I came with her to the hospital. She said she is friends with Emmett Cooper. Can you tell him after the game? I don’t want him to worry when you have a game to play. Sorry I will miss the end. Good luck and call me. Love you

Austin caught my eye and he must have seen the worry on my face because his brow furrowed, and he walked toward me. “Everything okay?”

I hesitated for a moment, then decided I needed to tell him even though he would probably be distracted during the third period like I was going to be. “My mom texted. Kaylee had an emergency, and they went to the hospital.”

His eyes widened. “What kind of emergency?”

“I don’t have the details. My mom just said they went to the hospital.” My heart was racing as I thought about all the scenarios that could have Kaylee going to the hospital.

“Try calling her.” He motioned with his gloved hand at the phone still in mine.

I hit the call button for my mom and all it did was ring before going to voicemail. “She didn’t answer.”

“Try Kaylee.”

I nodded quickly and then called her. It went to voicemail too. “She didn’t answer either.”

“Fuck,” Austin growled.

“Yo!” Coop called to us. “You two coming?”

I turned to our captain and friend. “Kaylee just went to the hospital.”

Coop’s face fell, and he walked to us. “What happened?”

“We don’t know,” I explained. “Since my mom was sitting next to her, she went with Kaylee.”

Coop’s eyes widened. “She knows about the three of you?”

“No.” I shook my head. “I think she might have just gone out of the kindness of her heart.”

I looked over at Austin. He was pulling at his black hair, and I knew, just like me, he wanted to go to our girl.

“What do we do?” I asked Coop.

He thought for a moment. “I know you two are worried. I am too, but there’s nothing you can do even if you go to the hospital. You don’t know where they took her, you technically aren’t family so you probably can’t get any information right away. Let’s finish this last period and then you two can race out of here.”

I glanced at our coach. “There will be questions why me and Austin are leaving together so quickly.”

Only the guys who were at Friendsgiving knew about our relationship. It wasn’t as though we were hiding it from everyone, but because of some things said by the guys, we didn’t want anyone else to have to worry our relationship would affect anything out on the ice.

“I don’t fucking care,” Austin snapped. “Let them fucking question it. I’m not going to be around to answer them.”

I watched as he stormed away, punching the wall with his padded hand as he went. He was always one to show his emotions, and I could see the storm brewing. If someone even looked at him wrong on the ice, he might get himself ejected.

We followed our goalie, Petrov, out of the tunnel and I tightened my helmet strap and took one last deep breath, trying my hardest to not worry about Kaylee. If anything, my mom would take care of her. She might not have known what Kaylee meant to me, but my mother was a good woman, and it showed, given she had gone with a stranger to the hospital instead of watching her son play in a hockey game that she made a last-minute trip to.

Getting back on the ice, Austin and I were on the wings, and Coop was ready for the faceoff. He won, and we were off and into our zone.

Minutes into the period, the intensity of the game ramped up. The Blues were playing dirty, pushing us around and checking us hard. Austin was a prime target, and it didn’t take long for the physical play to escalate.

I was deep in the offensive zone, trying to maintain possession, when I saw Austin get shoved into the boards again. The impact made a sickening thud, and the glass rattled. He crumpled to the ice and my heart felt as though it had stopped in my chest as I waited to see if he would get up.

He finally did, and the look on his face was murderous. He didn’t need any further encouragement to put our opponents in their place. He dropped his gloves, his eyes locked on Tewson and squared up.

Tewson dropped his own gloves and everyone on the ice, including the refs, cleared a space for them to go skate to skate.

Over the past two years, I’d seen Austin fight. He was good, and I knew he was about to let this fucking guy have it. It might not make either of us feel better about Kaylee, but I was all for him taking his frustrations out on someone. It would also pump up the team and hopefully encourage us to score another goal for a little breathing room.

Austin threw the first punch, a hard right hook that connected with Tewson’s jaw. He staggered back but quickly regained his footing, retaliating with a series of quick jabs. Austin blocked one punch, but took another to the side of his face.

I could see the determination in Austin’s eyes as he charged forward, using his size and strength to land a powerful uppercut. Tewson’s helmet flew off, and he stumbled. My man landed several more punches, each one more forceful than the last. His fury seemed to fuel him, his anger directed at every shove and hit he had taken throughout the game. Tewson finally landed a few counter-punches, but Austin was relentless. With a final right hook, he knocked Tewson to the ice. The refs stepped in immediately, grabbing both players and pulling them apart.

Austin was sent to the penalty box, and he skated over. Tewson was bleeding from his nose and lip, and I knew my man was getting a five-minute penalty. They both would, but it was clear Austin had won.

Good.

Four on four, we won the puck drop and Coop sent me the puck and I worked it around the Blues’ defensive zone.

We passed the puck around, and once I was positioned at the edge of the crease, I was ready to take the shot. I wound up and fired; the puck rocketed toward the net. The Blues’ goalie made a desperate dive, but the puck slipped past him.

My gaze immediately went to where Kaylee and my mom had been sitting, but those seats were empty, and I was reminded once again of what was happening off the ice.

After celebrating with my line on the ice, I skated over to the bench and looked up at the scoreboard above center ice. We had a few minutes left to play in the period. A few too many.

In the end, we pulled out the win and hurried off to the locker room. Austin and I were in a frenzy as we removed our gear.

“What’s the rush?” Orlov asked.

“Kaylee’s in the hospital,” I answered.

“Oh, shit,” he breathed.

“Is she okay?” Thompson inquired.

“We don’t know,” Austin stated.

I grabbed my phone and saw I had a missed call from my mom. Without a word, I hit the button to call her back.

“Hey, honey. Nice win and goal.”

“Thanks. How is she?” I inquired right away.

“We’re at Archview Memorial and she’s resting right now, but she had a miscarriage during the game and lost the baby.”

I stumbled back as a wave of dizziness hit me. “Wait. What? Did you say she lost the baby?”

“Oh, shoot. I probably shouldn’t have said anything.”

Austin stared at me, his mouth slightly open.

“She was pregnant?” I asked. Nothing was making sense.

“Yes, but I’m not sure if she’s telling anyone. She seemed to be in shock.”

Shock was an understatement for how I was feeling, and I couldn’t imagine what Kaylee must have been experiencing.

“She’s pregnant?” Austin mouthed to me.

I felt as though I was in some sort of twilight zone. She was on birth control. How was she pregnant?

I shook my head and took the phone away from my mouth so my mom couldn’t hear. “No. She was pregnant. She had a miscarriage during the game.” I felt my throat start to close as I uttered those horrific words and as I looked around, I saw all of my teammates watching me. Watching us .

“Go be with her,” Coop chimed in. “Both of you.”

I nodded and said to my mom, “We’re on our way.”

I hung up before she could respond and then Austin and I dressed in our suits as quickly as we could, grabbed our duffels, and got into a rideshare we’d ordered once we were outside.

We were silent, each lost in our own thoughts as we sat in the backseat of the car. My mind raced with questions. How long had Kaylee been pregnant? Had she known and chosen not to tell us? And if she had—why?

I glanced at Austin’s bruised knuckles and ran my fingers over the wounds from his fight. Even with my mother showing up, I thought the night would turn out differently.

“Do you think …” His voice trailed off, and he shook his head. “I don’t even know what I’m asking. It’s just … so unexpected.”

I swallowed hard. “I know.”

His eyes met mine, and the raw vulnerability was clear in them. “But who was the father?”

The driver glanced in the rearview mirror at me, and I shook my head. “I don’t even care about that right now. I just—I just want to be there for her.”

He nodded. “Yeah, me too. But the thought of being a father—it’s something I never even thought about.”

“I know. Me neither.”

Austin looked away, staring out the window as the city lights passed by. Even though I didn’t want to talk about it because it didn’t matter, I couldn’t stop thinking about his question; who was the father? Did Kaylee not tell us because she didn’t want one of us to hurt because we weren’t the dad?

The car pulled up to the entrance of the Emergency Department and we hurried to get inside. I looked around, spotting my mother instantly. She rushed over to me.

“Where’s Emmett?”

I balked at her question. “Coop?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “He’s her friend. He should be here.”

Austin and I stared at each other, not saying anything.

“What?” my mom asked.

I felt as though I was going to throw up. Maybe even pass out. I was so worried about Kaylee, just found out she had been pregnant and was moments away from telling my mother a secret not many knew.

“What do I do?” I asked Austin.

He squeezed my shoulder. “Do what you feel is in your heart.”

“Okay.” I blew out a long breath.

“I’ll give you two a few minutes to chat. I’m Austin Butcher, by the way. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Sexton.” He stuck out his hand, and they shook.

“I know who you are, sweetie.” Mother gave him a warm smile.

“If you could just let me know where Kaylee is, I’ll give you two some privacy.”

My mom gave him directions to where our girl was and then she turned to me once he walked through the double doors and disappeared. “Okay. What’s going on?”

I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling like my legs were going to give out at any moment. “Let’s sit.”

We found an empty waiting room off to the side. I took a seat across from her as my heart once again thumped rapidly in my chest. My palms started to sweat, and I took a deep breath. “Kaylee and I ...” I was going to faint. “We’re ah … We’re dating. All of us. I’m dating Austin and Kaylee. Both of them.”

Mom’s eyes widened, and she gasped, clenching her chest as though I’d just told her our pet rabbit, Cyndi Lopear , died again. “You’re dating them both?”

“Yes.” I tried to find more words. “I’ve been figuring out a lot about myself lately. I didn’t realize it until we started … Ah … Until the three of us started hanging out. And I’m in love with them.”

Her expression shifted from confusion to shock. “You’re … You’re gay?”

“Bisexual.” I didn’t want to confuse her even more by telling her I thought I was only gay for Austin.

“And you’re involved with both of them? At the same time?”

I took a deep breath. “Yes. I know it’s a lot to take in. I wanted to tell you before, but?—”

“I had no idea.” Her voice trembled, eyes filled with hurt and disbelief. “You’ve never?—”

“I know, Mom. I should have told you sooner. But I didn’t know how to start this conversation.” I rubbed my face. “And Dad?—”

She stood abruptly, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. “I need some air. I can’t—I need to think.”

“Mom, please—” I started, but she was already heading toward the exit.