Butcher

Chapter 24

24

Kaylee

The next morning, I climbed out of bed before Austin and Levi and started getting ready. Thankfully, my cramps had gone from excruciating to mildly uncomfortable, and I was able to move around a little easier.

Walking across the room, I made the mistake of glancing in the mirror by the closet. The reflection staring back at me was hardly recognizable. My hair was a tangled mess from not brushing it before I went to bed and my eyes were red-rimmed and so puffy I could barely open them.

Deciding another shower was in order, I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me before turning on the faucet and stripping out of my pajamas. Once the water was as hot as I could stand it, I stepped inside. When I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, I was hit with the memory from the night before of Austin holding me in the shower as I broke down in his arms, and then Levi doing the same later.

Even after crying until my tears ran dry and a few hours of sleep, my emotions were still all over the place. My heart ached over losing the baby. Although I hadn’t known I was pregnant until I was told at the hospital, there was a profound sense of sadness I couldn’t even begin to put into words. Being a mother was something I knew I wanted to be one day, and while my pregnancy hadn’t been planned, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the possibilities if it hadn’t ended so horribly.

Those thoughts had the waterworks flowing again. Although I’d caught glimpses of them both shedding tears while trying to comfort me, I had no idea how Austin and Levi felt about everything, and honestly, I was scared to ask them. I knew they were worried about me because it was evident by their actions from the moment they’d shown up at the hospital, but were they sad that I lost the baby? Relieved? Maybe once they had time to think about it, they would be upset that I’d gotten pregnant in the first place. There were so many unknowns, and even if I built up the courage to talk to them about it, we didn’t have time for that sort of conversation before they left for Chicago.

In a perfect world, they would return to Boston with me and we would work through everything together. But I couldn’t ask them to do that when they had an entire team counting on them. Especially since I was going to be taking it easy for the next couple of days.

After finishing up in the shower, I dressed in a sweater and a pair of yoga pants, wanting to be as comfortable as possible for the flight home. When I stepped out of the bathroom, Austin was waiting near the door.

“Sorry, I took over the bathroom. I’m done in the shower if either of you need to hop in.”

He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “We both showered after you fell asleep. I just need to grab my toiletries so I can finish packing.”

“What time are you meeting the guys downstairs to head to the airport?”

He frowned. “The bus leaves in an hour.”

Levi came over and kissed the top of my head. “How are you doing this morning?”

“Better. The cramps aren’t as bad, and I’m not bleeding as heavily. Hopefully, last night was the worst of it.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Austin asked. “Maybe one of us could talk to Coach?—”

I shook my head. “Your team needs both of you.”

“What about you, sweetheart? What do you need?” Levi rubbed my back in soothing circles.

“You guys got me through last night. Now I just want to rest. Besides, you’ll be back in Boston in a few days. I think I can manage until then, and if I need any help, I’ll call my sister.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince them or myself.

Levi nodded. “Okay, but you need to promise to call us if anything changes or you just want to talk.”

I gave them both a small smile. “I promise.”

We moved into the bedroom area, where Levi set my suitcase on the bed so I could finish packing.

“Would you be willing to stay at my condo instead of going back to your apartment?” Austin asked.

I tilted my head. “Why?”

“It would just make us both feel better. Levi’s mom will be staying at his place, so she can help you if you need anything. And Coop texted me earlier and said Ford’s grandfather is all good and Ford is headed back to Boston today too.”

I really did want to talk to Ford about everything, however, he could easily come over to my apartment to keep me company just as he had numerous times before I started dating Austin and Levi.

“That’s sweet, but I think I’d feel more comfortable at home and in my own bed. Besides, Toby is there, and I’d rather not have the pet sitter taking care of him if I can do it myself.”

They both frowned and Austin wrapped an arm around me. “Okay, but the offer stands if you change your mind.”

“And remember you can always call my mom too if you need anything,” Levi added, worry clear in his eyes.

I nodded even though Mrs. Sexton was the last person I’d call. It didn’t feel right asking her for help when I had Ford or could reach out to my sister. Still, I had a feeling having his mother nearby was helping Levi handle being on the road. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Austin looked exhausted with dark circles under his eyes. “It feels like no matter what we do, we’re letting someone down.”

I knew they meant well, but I was beginning to feel a little overwhelmed by their worrying. “Yes. I’m sure. You guys have a job to do, and I would never hold that against you.”

“All right. I’m going to let my mom know the plan. Plus, I need to give her the key code to my condo and make sure she has all her travel details.” Levi gave me another kiss and headed next door.

Once it was time for the guys to leave, Levi pulled me into his arms. “A car will be here in about thirty minutes for you and my mom. Do you want to come down to the lobby with us and wait there or hang out here?”

“I think I’ll wait up here. I’m not really in the mood to talk to any of your teammates right now.” It felt like I was walking a tightrope by trying to keep my emotions in check, and I was worried too many concerned faces might send me over the edge.

“Okay. But let my mom help with your suitcase because I don’t want you messing around with anything heavy. You’re supposed to be taking it easy,” Levi instructed.

“It’s got wheels, you know,” I sassed. He arched a brow. “Fine. I’ll let her help.”

“I love you.” Austin cupped my face in his hands. “Make sure you let us know when you get home.”

“I will.” Lifting up on my toes, I kissed him goodbye. “I love you too.”

He stepped away and grabbed his suitcase as Levi took his place. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. For what you’re going through, us having to leave, just everything.”

Hot tears filled my eyes. “I’m sorry too. I know you two were likely as shocked as I was.”

He leaned down and captured my lips with his before I could say anything else. “You have nothing to apologize for. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I replied as we moved closer to the door.

With one last glance in my direction, they left, and I let the tears flow once again.

When it was time to head to the airport, Levi’s mom knocked on the door between our rooms.

“Come on in,” I called out as I did one last check of the room to make sure we didn’t leave anything behind.

“I think our car is here. Are you ready to go?” she asked.

“Yep.”

She nodded. “How are you doing?”

I couldn’t wait until people stopped asking me that question. “I’m all right. Definitely feeling better than I did last night.”

“Glad to hear it. You had me worried.”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t get a chance to thank you, but I’m so grateful for everything.”

She patted my shoulder and then pulled her hand away quickly as though she wasn’t sure if she had overstepped. “You’re welcome.”

We made it downstairs, and our rideshare driver loaded our luggage into his SUV. Other than small talk, Mrs. Sexton and I didn’t say much on the way to the airport or as we waited to board our flight. I didn’t take it personally and assumed she was dealing with everything she’d learned in the last twenty-four hours, and I wasn’t really in the mood to carry on a conversation anyway.

When we boarded our flight, I was slightly relieved that our seats weren’t near each other, and since we were going separate ways after we arrived in Boston, we said goodbye at baggage claim.

Once I was back at my apartment, I pulled out my phone, texted the guys I was home and then sent one to Ford:

Heard you’re back in town. Want to come over?

I thought you were going to Chicago? What are you doing home?

It’s better if I tell you in person

Well now I’m worried

You don’t need to be worried. I’ll fill you in when you get here

Twenty minutes later, I was letting Ford into my apartment.

“Hey there, speed demon. How many traffic laws did you break on the way here?” I asked as he followed me into the living room.

“Pretty much all of them. What’s going on?”

I tucked my legs up on the couch and covered myself with a blanket as he sat beside me. Toby jumped onto my lap, causing me to wince, but I still wanted his cuddles. “So much has happened; I don’t even know where to start,” I sighed.

“How about you tell me why you’re home instead of in Chicago with the guys.”

“Because the doctor in the ER said I needed to come home and rest.”

Ford’s eyes widened. “Why in the world were you in the ER?”

I took a deep breath. “I had a miscarriage.”

His jaw dropped open and he immediately reached for my hand. “Oh my god, Kay. Are you okay?”

Tears streamed down my face. “Everyone keeps asking me that, and to be honest, I don’t know. It’s been less than twenty-four hours and I don’t think I’ve processed any of it yet.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that.” He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”

“I didn’t know. It came as a complete surprise when the doctor told me.”

“Wow,” he breathed. “How are Butcher and Sexton handling everything?”

I shrugged. “They were great while we were at the hospital, but we haven’t really talked about it yet. Between Levi’s mom showing up out of the blue and him telling her about us, and then having to leave for their next game, there hasn’t really been time.”

“Sexton told his mom? How did that go?”

I shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure, but she’s staying at his place for the time being, so there’s that.”

“That’s a lot to be dealing with, Kay.” He scooted closer, and I rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m sure once your guys are back home, you all will help each other through this.”

“Yeah, but what if after they’ve had time to process what happened, they’re upset with me for getting pregnant?” I sniffled as I voiced something I’d been thinking about since the night before.

He frowned. “Why would they be upset with you?”

“Because I was the one who was on birth control. They could think I did it on purpose to trap them. I’ve heard plenty of stories like that about women who hook up with professional athletes. What if they think I’m a gold digger or something?” I wailed.

“Hey, they would never think that about you.”

“How can you be so sure?” I sniffled.

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Because they love you and you love them. Once they’re back home, and you get a chance to talk to them, I’m sure everything will be just fine. In the meantime, how about I order a pizza for us, and we binge some Hallmark Christmas movies? I think the one tonight is about a proud gay guy from the city who inherits his grandfather’s hardware store in a small town he’s never been to. The love interest is a closeted handyman in town.”

“That sounds good. What’s it called?”

“ Tinsel & Tools .” He pulled out his phone to place our order. “I’ll get us some peppermint bark ice cream too to make it more festive.”

“You’re the best.”

He smiled at me. “No matter what, I’ll always be here for you.”

For the first time since everything happened, I decided to just breathe and try not to worry about things outside of my control.