Butcher

Chapter 27

27

Kaylee

The house was a flurry of activity as my parents, three siblings, and eight nieces and nephews played games and sang Christmas carols while we waited to go to midnight mass in a few hours. Unlike Levi, I wasn’t raised in an overly religious household, but my parents made sure to take us to mass during the holidays.

My dad and two brothers were in a heated debate about football, while a few of my older nephews were playing Twister. At the same time, my sister, Maggie and my two sisters-in-law were chatting about having all their kids home during winter break and Mom bounced between everyone. I sat at the coffee table with my youngest niece and nephew for a game of Candyland, and watched Emmy move her marker along the board. When it was her brother’s turn, my phone vibrated. Glancing down, I saw Levi had sent a text to our group chat, so I swiped the screen to open my messages.

Levi: Are you home yet?

No. I decided to spend the night at my parents’ house. My siblings thought it would be fun to do Christmas morning here and I want to watch my nieces and nephews open their gifts from Santa. Did you and your mom make it back to Boston?

Levi: Yeah we got back a little bit ago

Did everything go okay?

Levi had texted me about why they were heading to Tennessee before coming home, and while I was struggling with my own emotions about everything, I was still worried about his mom.

Levi: A lot of shit went down that I’ll tell you about later but Mom is good and back here in Boston

Happy to hear that. Austin, how’s it going with your family?

Austin: Good. I told them about you and the miscarriage

I wasn’t surprised he’d told them about us because it was getting harder and harder to hide our relationship, but I was shocked he’d mentioned the miscarriage. I still wasn’t sure how Austin and Levi felt about everything. They both appeared to be concerned the night in the hospital, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I lost our baby or if they were just worried about me. As the days passed, we only talked on the phone once. I found myself more convinced they were mad at me or blamed me since I was the one who told them we didn’t need another form of birth control because I was on the pill. Then those thoughts led to more questions, like what if neither of them wanted kids in the future? We had learned a lot about each other over the past few months, but there were things we hadn’t discussed and what if we weren’t as compatible as I thought? It was all starting to mess with my head.

Since I was too nervous to ask how his family took the news, I didn’t respond. After a few minutes, my phone buzzed again:

Levi: Can’t wait until we are all back together in a couple of days. Especially since Austin is cooking us dinner

The plan was for all of us to hang out at Austin’s condo after I got off work on the twenty-sixth for our own Christmas celebration. They had a home game the day after that, and then would be going back out on the road.

“Aunty Kay, it’s your turn,” my nephew Isaac said.

“Sorry, sweetie. Give me one second.” I typed out another message to the guys:

See you then

I pressed send, silenced my phone, and turned my focus back on the game with Emmy and Isaac.

“Look, I’m winning!” Emmy pointed at her marker several spaces past where mine and her brother’s were.

“Are you sure you’re not cheating?” I teased.

“No.” She shook her head. “Cheating is bad, and I’m good.”

I brushed the hair out of her face. “Yes, you are, pumpkin.”

“Hey, everyone,” my brother Josh called out, drawing all of our attention. His wife and two sons stood next to him with smiles on their faces. “Amber and I got each of you a little something, and we decided we don’t want to wait until tomorrow to give it to you.” They, along with my nephews, handed my parents, my other siblings, and myself each a gift bag. “Go ahead and open them.”

Following their instructions, I dug through the tissue paper and pulled out a framed photo. It was a picture of their family, but when I looked closer, I saw my brother and his wife holding a sonogram photo with the words “Baby Girl Coming This Spring” printed at the bottom.

The hot sting of tears pricked my eyes as my mom shouted with joy and jumped up to hug the happy couple. I waited behind my other brother, Brady and my sister, Maggie, to offer Josh and Amber my congratulations and then slipped down the hallway and into the guest bathroom.

The tears began falling as soon as the door closed behind me. The more I tried to stop them, the harder they came until I was a sobbing mess on the floor.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. “Kay, are you good?” Maggie always had the uncanny ability to notice when I was upset or had something going on, but I’d thought my sneaking away this time had gone unnoticed.

“Um, yeah. Just using the bathroom.”

“I can hear you crying. I can go get Mom if you’d rather talk to her.”

That had me scurrying off the floor to unlock the door. “No! Come in.”

She stepped inside, and when she caught a glimpse of my tearstained face, she wrapped me up in a tight hug. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I don’t even know where to begin,” I sniffled. “Everything is a mess right now.”

She handed me a tissue. “Just start at the beginning.”

“Remember when I told you I had a date a few months ago?”

“The one with the hockey player?”

I nodded. “Well, Levi wasn’t the only guy I was interested in at the time. He has a teammate, Austin, who I’d had a tiny crush on as well.”

“Two hockey players? Damn girl.”

I let out a small chuckle because dating both of them had been pretty freaking awesome up until everything that happened in St. Louis. “We all started dating officially the day after that.”

Her mouth dropped open. “All three of you? Like a throuple?”

“Yeah, exactly like that.”

“Wow. That sounds like a lot of women’s fantasy. Why are you crying though?”

I let out a breath. “A few days ago, I traveled to catch a couple oftheirroad games, and while I was in St. Louis, I was rushed to the hospital because I was having a miscarriage.”

She pulled me into her arms again. “Oh my goodness, Kay. I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were pregnant.”

“Thank you, and I had no idea I was pregnant either. I’m having a harder time than I expected dealing with everything,” I admitted.

“I can only imagine.” She rubbed my back. “I’m sure it’s been hard on all three of you.”

“That’s just it. They left the following morning for Chicago before I could ask them how they felt about everything.”

“They left you by yourself?”

“Not really. They took care of me at the hotel and then Levi’s mom was with me on my flight back home. Besides, it wasn’t like they could tell their coach they weren’t going to Chicago. They have an entire team depending on them.” I felt myself getting defensive because I didn’t want her to think Austin and Levi were assholes.

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have stayed with you until they came back.”

“It’s the holidays, and I didn’t want to take you away from your husband and kids.”

She shook her head. “It would have been fine, but I understand why you didn’t. When do your guys get back?”

“That’s the thing,” I said, realizing I was harboring a little bit of resentment. “Austin is now in Texas with his family, and Levi was supposed to come back to Boston last night. But at the last minute he and Austin went to Tennessee to deal with an emergency and I haven’t seen either of them. We’ve only talked on the phone once since we were all together and it’s beginning to feel like they are avoiding me.”

“It sounds like there’s been a lot going on that’s out of your control. I’m sure once you get the chance to sit down and talk with them, you’ll feel better.” Maggie was always the reasonable one.

I nodded. “The three of us are getting together the day after tomorrow to celebrate Christmas. But ...”

She tipped her head to the side. “But what?”

I stared at the tile floor. “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“Because my head is a mess. You know I’ve always wanted a family, but what if we talk about what happened and I find out they don’t want the same? Maybe a relationship like ours isn’t sustainable in the long run. You know, I’ve always believed things happen for a reason. I’m worried I lost the baby because the three of us just aren’t meant to be together.”

“Kaylee, you’ve been through something traumatic, and it’s probably playing nasty tricks on your emotions. Don’t start thinking about the worst-case scenario until you talk to them. You might be surprised by what’s been going on in their heads as well.”

I still wasn’t convinced things would be okay, but my sister was right. I needed to at least talk to them so I could stop stressing myself out by making assumptions. “Yeah, I’ll try not to worry. I thought I was handling things better, but Josh and Amber’s announcement was like a dagger in my heart.”

Maggie pulled a washcloth from the cabinet and handed it to me. “Given the circumstances, I’m sure that was difficult. Take as much time as you need in here and come back out whenever you’re ready.”

I took the cloth from her hand. “If things work out with Austin and Levi, do you think everyone will be okay with it?” Rejection from my family was another fear of mine.

She gave me a small smile. “Your relationship might not be what people are used to, but we all love you. If you’re happy, I’m sure they’ll be accepting.”

I hugged her again. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” She peeked her head out the door. “The coast is clear. I’ll distract Mom if she asks any questions.”

I took a few minutes to wash my face and reapply my makeup from my makeup bag I had under the sink. Once I felt like I wouldn’t fall apart again, I rejoined my family.

“You ready to get out of here?” Ford asked, standing at my cubicle two days later.

“Almost, but Mr. Boyd wanted me to stop by his office before I left for the evening,” I replied as I packed up my laptop.

“You want me to wait for you?”

I shook my head. “You don’t need to. I’m sure Coop is waiting for you.”

“Yeah. We actually have dinner plans with my parents tonight since we celebrated Christmas with Coop’s family yesterday.”

It was the day after Christmas, and while Ford seemed happy to be with his man and his parents, my stomach was full of butterflies as I thought about the night ahead. One part of me couldn’t wait to see Austin and Levi again, but the other part was nervous because I knew I needed to talk to them about the worries that had been building over the last few days.

“Well, you go have fun,” I said as we walked through the rows of cubicles. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Later.” He waved as he took off for the elevators, and I headed to my boss’ office.

I knocked on the open door and peeked inside. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yes, Kaylee. Come in.” I took a seat on the chair across from him. “As you know, we’re in the process of expanding our European market and opening a new office in Paris.” My heart dropped because I had a feeling where the conversation was going. “You’ve impressed several executives here and we believe you would be a great addition to the team who will be working to get our new location up and running.”

“Oh … wow,” I replied. “How long would I be there?”

When I was in London before, it was because it was the only opening with our marketing firm at the time. But as soon as there was a position in Boston, I asked to be transferred. I had liked London, but I didn’t necessarily want to live abroad again.

“At least six months, but probably longer. They’re also looking to hire a VP of Marketing over there, and I’ve already put in a good word for you.”

My eyes widened. “You did? Does that mean I’d been living in Paris permanently?”

He nodded. “Well, you’d likely have to come back here occasionally, but yes, you’d be based there.”

The opportunity was everything I’d ever hoped for when I first joined the company a few years ago. But things were different now. Or were they? The doubts I’d been having over the past couple of days about my relationship with Austin and Levi came rushing back. Losing the baby, the guys seeming to ignore me, and now the job opportunity seemed like too many signs to ignore.

“When would I have to leave?” I asked.

“We want you there in two weeks.”