Butcher

Chapter 29

29

Sexton

I stared at the door Kaylee had just walked through. “What the hell just happened?” I asked Austin.

He slid down the wall. “She just broke up with us.”

The pain in my heart was something I’d never felt before. It was as though I could literally feel it breaking in half. “What do we do?”

“I don’t know.” He hung his head.

“Should we go after her?” I was still staring at the door, wishing silently she’d reconsider and walk back through.

“And what? Force her to come back?”

“Not force her, but tell her we can work it out.”

I looked at Austin and he lifted his head. “Can we? We all but said that and plus, she’s going to be gone for six months. The season lasts another five at least. More if we make the playoffs. You know that.”

“So we’re just going to let her go? You don’t want to fight for her?”

He stood quickly, anger radiating out of him as he snapped, “Of course, I want to fucking fight for her, Levi. Fighting is what I do, but she left here like her ass was on fire and obviously she doesn’t want to fight for us .”

“You’re right,” I said softly, trying to calm the storm swirling inside me. “She left. But that doesn’t mean we just give up. We’re not just giving up, are we?”

Austin’s shoulders slumped, the fire in his eyes dimming. “I don’t know. It feels like we’re standing here with our hearts shattered and no way to piece them back together. I thought we had something that was going to last forever.”

I nodded. “I thought so too. Austin sighed heavily, walked to the couch, and sat down.

I followed him and sat down beside him. The room was eerily quiet. I had thought the night would go differently. I glanced at the twinkling Christmas tree, seeing the presents Austin and I had put under it for each other and Kaylee. Now I didn’t even want to open them.

“You know what’s killing me the most? In such a short time, we’ve been through so much together. We’ve faced things that would’ve torn most people apart.” He paused for a beat. “I guess it did.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “Do you still want to be with me even without Kaylee?”

Austin nodded. “Of course, I do. I still love you.”

“I still love you too.”

Even though it felt like everything was falling apart, we would face our heartbreak together, trying to make sense of the shattered pieces, and hoping she wasn’t the piece we needed to make us work too.

Five Days Later

“Are you two coming out with us tonight?” Orlov asked as we changed out of our gear and into our suits.

We’d just beat the Capitols at home and it was New Year’s Eve. Our teammates wanted to celebrate our win and ring in the new year at a club. Although Austin and I had managed not to let our personal issues with Kaylee impact our performance on the ice—just as Friberg had advised when we informed the team about our relationship—we still kept our distance from the guys outside of practice and game days.

“I … don’t know,” I sighed.

“Oh, come on,” Orlov pressed. “I know you’re all in love and shit, but that doesn’t mean you have to go home and watch the ball drop on your TV. Come out with us. Bring Kaylee, of course.”

Bring Kaylee, of course …

“We’ll see,” Austin cut in and partially lied, “She’s moving to Paris for work, so we want to spend time alone.”

“Oh wow,” Brunner joined the convo. “Paris is crazy far.”

“Ford and I won’t be there either,” Coop stated. He knew about the break up given his husband was best friends and colleagues with Kaylee.

“Why not?” Friberg questioned.

“My buddy Hayden and his husband are having a party.”

I wondered if Kaylee was going with them, but I wasn’t going to ask. Austin and I had tried calling and texting, and she never responded to us.

“Well, damn. Who’s coming out?” Orlov turned back to the other guys in the locker room.

“Thanks for cutting in,” I said to Coop as the room chatted about going out clubbing.

He squeezed my shoulder and lowered his voice. “Breakups are hard. If you and Butch want to grab a drink next week, let me know.”

I had to think about why he was talking about days in the future, and then it hit me; he must have meant the day Kaylee was leaving for Paris.

My mom had attended the game. She was now wanting to go to all the home games since she was living in one of my guest rooms, and I was all for it. I loved looking up and seeing her cheer for me and my team. I just wished she wasn’t only sitting next to Ford, and Kaylee was with them too. Mom, though, was also in the process of hiring a divorce attorney and my father was under investigation for statutory rape since I’d called Crew Stratton’s brother and asked him to look into my father. From what Deputy Stratton had texted, the town was going nuts over the bombs I dropped about my father. I fucking loved it.

After Austin and I rang in the new year with my mom, she went to bed and Austin and I went to his place to sleep. I’d been staying over every night we were in town, so my mom had privacy. And well, us too.

“So, Orlov was somewhat right,” Austin stated as he slid under the covers on his side of the bed. “We came home and watched the ball drop. He just got the lady wrong.”

I pulled back the sheets on my side. “What do you think Kaylee is doing tonight?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed.

I moved in beside him and we turned to face each other as we lay side by side. “Maybe she went to the party with Coop.”

“Maybe.”

He stared into my eyes and asked, “Do you think she’s miserable too?”

“I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure if I wished she was or if I wanted her to be happy with her decision. Austin and I were trying to move on and I was hoping it would be easier once she was out of the country and not in the same city.

“You know what.” Austin sat up. “It’s a new year. I know we aren’t going to forget her, but let’s try to move forward.”

“Okay.” I wanted to do that given it was the only thing to do. It was just hard.

“And you know.” He cracked a smile. “They say to get over someone you have to get under someone else.”

I snorted a laugh. “Is that so?”

We hadn’t been intimate since … Well, before St. Louis. And over the last five days, I was certain neither one of us was thinking about sex, but Austin was right. It was a new year, and we needed to try to move forward. Kaylee was. She was moving to Paris and could possibly meet someone else during the six months.

“We could at least test the theory.” He winked.

I turned on my back. “Yeah, but maybe it’s time to change it up.”

“Oh?” He arched an eyebrow.

“You wanna fuck me tonight?” I smirked.

“Are you sure?”

“Will you go slow?”

He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “Baby, I’m gonna blow your fucking mind, but yes, I’ll go as slow as you need me to.”