Cabin Fever With My First Flame (Sweet Christmas Kisses)

19. Bailey

Chapter nineteen

Bailey

“And that’s how ‘friends’ kiss under the mistletoe.”

Yeah, I’ve never kissed anyone under the mistletoe before, let alone like the way Finn just rocked my world. I never got to kiss Daniel under the mistletoe because he didn’t believe that public displays of affection were appropriate. Finn had no problem telling me without words exactly where he stands and what he wants. I’ll admit that it was a kiss that has me rethinking where I stand.

Before Finn walks out of the room, he directs Micah to ‘gear up, so we can move out.’”

“What about our letters to God?” Micah pleads. “I know we have to take the Johnsons into town, but half an hour of reading our letters won’t make a difference.”

I want to once again correct Micah that it’s McNamara, but after that kiss from Finn, I’m too busy daydreaming about a different last name being attached to me to care. “I think we still have time. It takes, like, two seconds to shove our clothes into our backpacks, Finn. It’s not like I brought 15 pairs of shoes to match every outfit or any of my hair and makeup accessories.”

Finn smirks. “I kind of like the cartoon reindeer pajama look, especially with the winter boots. As far as makeup and beauty thingamajiggers are concerned, you don’t need any of those things to look gorgeous, Bailey.”

Finn has always said the sweetest things, but I can’t let that affect me. I’m already on the fence about more with Finn. “Then you’re okay with us doing the whole ‘letter’ thing before we go?”

“Yeah. We have plenty of time. I just know that your parents, Barb and Henry, are excited to see you,” he says.

“My parents will understand, and it’s not like they have a time frame in which to expect us. I’m kind of excited to hear what the kids want for Christmas.”

Micah gestures for us to follow him. Mia, Ava, Isaac, and Jonah are sitting snugly on the couch. Ella puts a hand on my arm and holds me back. “That was some kiss, Mom. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

I did. As I reflect on the kiss last night in the basement, I murmur. “I’m sorry if it bothered you to witness the display.”

Ella grimaces. “I’m just glad to see someone can make you smile, Mom. It’s been a long time since Dad was able to do it. I know that sounds harsh, but I can’t recall a time he ever kissed you like that.”

I can’t bring myself to admit that Daniel had never kissed me like that, not even when we were in private. “Your dad was busy with the restaurant. We just forgot to make time for romance, Ella. My advice to you is that when you get married, continue to date.”

“Continue to date?” Ella asks, confused.

“Yep! There’s excitement in dating. It feels fresh and new. Even when it isn’t, you get to leave the kids at home with a sitter or sneak in a private lunch somewhere other than work. Your dad and I never really did any of that. We just…were. I should have put in more effort to make it work.”

At this, Ella scoffs. As the oldest, she understands that I did everything I could and some of the extremes I went through to get Daniel’s attention. “And you think dating was the answer?”

“It’s about making time for one another, Ella. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Daniel and I stopped doing that. We focused on you girls and the restaurant and forgot about each other.”

Ella purses her lips. “It’s a two-way street, Mom. I love Dad despite his mistakes, but that doesn’t mean I have to condone his actions. You have a man waiting for you in the other room who would give you the world if you let him.”

I give my daughter a side hug. “I know, Baby Girl, but I’m scared. I’m scared Finn will run away at the first sign of trouble. I’m scared of him breaking my heart all over again.”

“Mom, it’s time to open the letters!” Ava shouts, running over to me and dragging me behind her. “I asked God for the bestest thing ever!”

The four youngest take up the oversized couch, and Micah takes the single seat. Ella stands by the tree, ready to go all Vanna White on us. The only spots left for Finn and me are on the loveseat. Once I sit down, I rub my hands back and forth over my thighs. “Okay, Micah. How does this work?”

Jonah raises his hand. “I know! The envelopes get passed out, and we each read one, starting from youngest to oldest. We won’t know whose letter we get until we open them!”

Ella collects the envelopes from the tree and passes them out. Ava is the first to open hers and scowls. “I think this one is from Jonah. I can’t read the writing.” She hands me the letter and sits on my lap while I read it aloud.

"Dear God,

If I could have one thing, it would be my mom and dad. I know you can raise people from the dead, but I also know that you are taking good care of them in Heaven. They like to make funny jokes, so you probably want to keep them with you. But if I can’t have them, then maybe you can give us Bailey, Ava, Mia, and Ella. I love them.

Love,

Jonah"

Ava looks up at me with a smug expression. “I told you it was from Jonah! His writing is as good as his artwork!”

Jonah’s lips turn down. “My mom said my writing is as good as a doctor’s!”

I gesture to the twins. “Which one of you is the youngest?” I ask, getting them back on track. “Jonah, that was a very sweet letter. Is it your turn?”

Isaac rips open his envelope. “Nope. Jonah was born eight minutes before me. It’s my turn.

"Dear Jesus,

Life doesn’t always turn out as we expected, but you have greater plans in store for us. You tell us “No” when we’re not ready, “Yes” when we are. Sometimes you say, “Not right now.” I’ve learned to accept your answers because you give them to us in love. You give them to us to protect us. You give them to us because you know better than we do. But that isn’t going to stop me from asking for one more thing. Heavenly Father, I ask that you protect Bailey and her family. Help them find healing and happiness.

Love,

Finn"

Once again, Finn only wants to see others free from pain. He’s a hero through and through. “That was…I have no words, Finn.” He smiles at me.

“My turn!” Jonah declares. He opens the letter in his hand and starts reading.

"Dear God,

I don’t have much to ask, but I have so much to be thankful for. I thank You for my Mom and my sisters. I thank You for my Dad. I thank you for letting us get stuck in a storm so that I could make new friends. I thank You for bringing a smile to my mom’s face. It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. Mom says I’m too young to know what’s going on, but I’m not. I see it. I also see how Finn makes her face light up just by walking into the room. I know what I should be praying for, but all I want is for my mom to be happy. Will you make that happen?

Your friend,

Mia"

That’s a pretty deep letter for a ten-year-old, but then again, Mia is wiser than her years. I can’t tell from her letter if she’s asking for a second chance between Finn and me or between her father and me. In the end, she’s simply asking for God’s will to be done. “I love you, Mia. You and your sisters make me very happy.”

Mia hugs me back. “I love you, too, Mom.”

“It’s your turn, Mia!” Ava says.

Mia reverently runs her finger under the seal and pulls out the sheet of paper.

"Dear God,

I want Finn and Bailey to get together.

The End,

Isaac"

Well, all right then. “That was short, sweet, and to the point,” I tell him.

We continue to read the notes aloud, with both Micah and Ella asking that Finn and I take a leap for love. In my letter, I ask God to keep everyone safe through the snowstorm and to protect the workers who are braving the cold so that people can have electricity and heat to stay warm.

Finn is the last to go, and Ava’s letter is the only one left. I pull Ava into my lap as we listen to Finn read the note.

"Deer Jesus,

Can I pleez half a Barbie Jeep for Crismas?

Ava"

Finn shows us the letter, and I laugh. Ava is six and is learning to write out words based on how they sound to her little ears. There is a drawing at the bottom of the page of Christmas trees and a stick figure driving a box with two circles. She also drew snowflakes to decorate the letter.

“This is a masterpiece,” Finn tells her.

Ella folds her arms across her chest and narrows her eyes playfully at Ava. “I think you missed the point of the letters. We were supposed to ask for one intangible thing from God.”

Ava frowns. “Well, I don’t know what that word means, and I really want a Barbie Jeep! Maybe there is one waiting for me at Pops’ and Nana’s house!”

And that’s our cue that we need to leave. Finn tells the boys to take quick showers and get ready while the girls and I get dressed and stuff everything in our backpacks. Once we’re ready to go, Finn leads us upstairs and shows us where we’ll be exiting. The snow drifts are piled high, reaching two feet below the window frame. “Every time I look out the window, I’m blown away by the amount of snow. I can’t thank you enough for taking us in. You and the boys saved our lives, and we’re forever in your debt.”

Finn and Micah strap on their snowshoes, and Micah goes out the window first. He starts walking around the house to get one of the ATVs that’s parked under the back deck. We would go out the mudroom door in the basement, but it, too, is blocked by snow since it’s on the side of the house.

“How come we don’t jump off the back porch?” Mia asks.

Finn crawls through the window, but before he leaves, he answers Mia’s question. “There isn’t as much snow on the backside of the house, and the distance is too great for you to jump safely. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt. You mean too much to us. You all do.”

I watch as Finn disappears around the side of the house, and a few minutes later, the two ATVs appear. Since we don’t have snowshoes and would fall through the soft flakes, Finn and Micah carry us from the window to the vehicles.

Jonah rides with us, but he opts to sit in the back with Ava so that I can have the front seat. Finn shouts over the roar of the engine. “Are you ready to go home?”

I bob my head but remain silent, with only one thought crossing my mind. Finn feels like home. He always has.