Caged By the Lich

14. Olvaar

14

OLVAAR

I held myself together all day. Through all the sessions where I was so close all I could smell was Astrid. Through every touch, every glance, every second that this pounding fucking need begged me to take her.

I've never been so desperate for a woman. It's why I refuse to give in. I have to keep control, and I know she's making me lose it, bit by bit.

Now that I'm alone, I pace my chambers, each step fueled by a rage I can't quite place. It's the one emotion that keeps cropping up. Anger at her for distracting me, anger at myself for wanting her, anger that I haven't taken her and that I want to. My fists clench and unclench at my sides, itching to destroy something, anything.

"Fuck," I growl, whirling to face my reflection in the ornate mirror. The demon staring back at me looks wild, dangerous. Good. That's who I am. That's who I need to be.

But then I see it - a flicker of doubt in those eyes. A softness that has no place there.

"No!" I roar, my fist connecting with the glass. It shatters, shards raining down around me. The pain is welcome, grounding. It reminds me of who I am. What I am.

A demon lord. A fearsome demon lord that could bring down this whole mansion with my magic, that could kill another man with one hand, that makes others tremble by my mere presence.

I don't feel... this.

But as I look at my bloodied knuckles, all I can think of is how Astrid's face would crumple with concern if she saw them. How she'd probably try to bandage them herself, muttering about my stubbornness the whole time.

"Dammit!" I slam my fist into the wall, relishing the crack of bone. This weakness, this... softness. It has to go. I can't afford it. Not now, not ever.

Why do I care if she misses home? Why does it bother me when she pulls away? Why do I want her to want me fucking back? She's nothing but a pawn, a means to an end. She shouldn't matter.

But she does.

I can't reconcile the rage of feelings inside of me. It's going to push me over the edge into the very madness that my bloodline is rumored to possess. But it won't be my magic that is my undoing.

It will be Astrid.

A knock at the door interrupts my spiral. "V?" Kaz's voice filters through. "Is everything alright?"

I growl, not wanting to deal with anyone right now. But Kaz is persistent, and soon he's standing in my chambers, taking in the destruction with a raised eyebrow.

"Redecorating?" he asks dryly.

I bare my teeth at him. "What do you want?"

Kaz's eyes narrow, assessing. "It's about Astrid, isn't it?"

I snarl at the sound of her name on his lips, and he only raises a brow. I consider how much I really need my second in command, my closest friend. Because right now, his dead body sounds a bit better than the alive version that won't fuck off.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I snap, turning away so I don't do something rash.

Like kill him.

"Of course not," Kaz says, his tone making it clear he doesn't believe me for a second. "That's why you're destroying your chambers over nothing."

I whirl on him, my magic flaring dangerously. "Watch yourself, Kaz. Even you aren't immune to my wrath."

But Kaz, damn him, just looks at me with something like pity. I snarl. He shrugs. "Denying it won't make it go away. You care for her."

"I don't," I snarl, but the words taste like ash in my mouth.

Kaz gives me a look that says he doesn't believe me and slips out of the room, leaving me to fester in this alone.

The next day, I storm into the strategy room, my jaw clenched tight. I'm later than usual, so I'm not surprised that Astrid's already there, poring over maps and documents.

She looks up, a small smile starting to form on her lips. I crush the warmth that tries to bloom in my chest at the sight.

"We need to revise the southern defense plans," I say curtly, not meeting her eyes. I grab a stack of reports, focusing intently on the parchment.

"Oh, of course," Astrid says, her voice faltering slightly. "I was just looking at those. I thought maybe if we--"

"I don't need your input right now," I cut her off sharply. From the corner of my eye, I see her flinch as if I'd struck her. My gut twists, but I force myself to continue. "Just organize these by region. I'll handle the strategy."

I can feel her staring at me, confusion and hurt radiating off her in waves. But I keep my eyes fixed on the documents, ignoring the urge to look at her, to explain, to soften my words.

"Did... did I do something wrong?" Astrid asks quietly, her voice small.

I grit my teeth. "No. Just do as I say."

The silence that follows is deafening. I hear her shuffling papers, her movements stiff and uncertain. Every fiber of my being screams at me to look up, to reassure her. But I can't. I won't.

This is how it has to be. I can't afford to care. I can't afford to feel.

I never should have been so stupid to let a human in.

But as the minutes tick by, each one stretching into an eternity, I find myself stealing glances at her. The furrow in her brow, the downward curve of her lips, the tension in her shoulders – each detail is a dagger in my chest.

What am I doing? Why does this feel so wrong?

I open my mouth, not sure what I'm going to say, but needing to break this suffocating silence. But before I can speak, Astrid stands abruptly.

"I've sorted the reports," she says, her voice carefully controlled. "If you don't need anything else, I'll take my leave."

I should let her go. It's what I wanted, isn't it? To push her away, to reestablish that distance.

But as she turns to leave, panic claws at my throat.

I'm about to let Astrid walk away — even if it is a huge fucking mistake — when Kaz's knock interrupts us. "Sir, Lady Naevia and Lord Vexus have arrived. They're requesting a meeting."

Fuck. Just what I need right now.

"Fine," I growl. "Tell them I'll be there shortly." I turn to Astrid, my voice leaving no room for argument. "You're coming with me."

She opens her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. "That wasn't a request."

As we make our way to the meeting room, I bark orders at Kaz for him and Malakai to join us. By the time the four of us make it to the council room — the one for visitors — the tension in the air is thick enough to choke on.

Lady Naevia and Lord Vexus are already seated when we enter, Bune standing watch with a handful of his guards around the perimeter. Their eyes flick to Astrid, poorly concealed surprise, interest, and disdain on their faces. I ignore it, taking my seat at the head of the table.

"What's so urgent?" I demand, not bothering with pleasantries.

It's not a shock to me when Naevia brings up the southern territories. She's persistent, and the least afraid of me.

We're barely into the discussion when the door slams open. Lord Kravos storms in, his face twisted with rage.

"You dare exclude me from this meeting?" he snarls.

I rise slowly, my patience wearing dangerously thin. "You weren't invited, Kravos. Leave. Now."

But Kravos isn't backing down. His eyes dart to Astrid, a cruel smirk playing on his lips. "Still keeping your little pet around, I see. Tell me, V, does she warm your bed as well as she--"

I don't let him finish. My magic lashes out, sending him staggering back with a blow harder than a punch.

"You will not speak of her," I growl.

Kravos wipes blood from his mouth, his eyes glowing with malice. Before I can react, he launches a surprise magical attack.

I don't think. I just move.

In an instant, I'm in front of Astrid, my body shielding hers as the blast of energy hits me square in the chest. Pain explodes through me, but all I can think is: She's safe. She's okay.

With a roar of fury, I lunge at Kravos. My hands wrap around his throat, squeezing until I feel the satisfying crunch of bone. His body goes limp, and I let it fall to the floor.

The room is dead silent. I turn to face the others, my voice cold as ice. "Let this be a message. You do not threaten what's mine. Now get out. All of you."

They scramble to obey, leaving only Astrid and me in the aftermath of chaos.

I guide Astrid to a nearby chair, my hands still shaking with residual adrenaline. She winces as she sits, and I feel a surge of protective fury. Kravos is lucky he's already dead.

"Are you hurt?" I ask, my voice rougher than I intend.

She shakes her head, but I see the small cut on her cheek, a trickle of blood marring her pale skin. Without thinking, I reach for a clean cloth and dip it in water.

"Hold still," I murmur, gently cupping her face with one hand as I dab at the cut with the other.

Astrid's breath hitches, and I realize how close we are. I can feel the warmth of her skin, see the flecks of gold in her green eyes. That incessant need that I felt the first night I saw her — and every subsequent day — stirs again, and I struggle to keep my hand steady.

"Thank you," she whispers, her gaze locked on mine. "For protecting me."

I swallow hard, trying to ignore the way her proximity affects me. "It's nothing," I say gruffly, but we both know it's a lie.

As I clean the cut, I notice Astrid's breathing becoming shallow, her pulse visibly quickening at her throat. I'm not faring much better, hyper-aware of every point of contact between us.

At least I'm not the only one reacting.

But it's building and building, and I swear a single spark and this room would go up in flames. I'm wound so tight I feel like my muscles are going to snap. And Astrid's pulse is hammering at her throat.

"Olvaar," she says softly, and I freeze.

It's been so long since anyone's used my full name. It sounds different coming from her lips - softer, more intimate. Not the fearsome title I've cultivated, but something... more.

"I like it when you call me that," I admit, surprising myself with the honesty.

Astrid's lips curve into a small smile. "Olvaar," she repeats, as if testing it out. "It suits you better than V."

I chuckle, the tension easing slightly. "Don't let that get around. I have a reputation to maintain."

She meets my gaze, all the desire burning there and begging me to give in. To take her. To do whatever I want with my little prisoner, knowing she'll fight like a rebel and we'll both love it.

But the magic that hit me burns and there's a dead body on the floor, so instead I stand, offer her my hand. "How about some tea?"