Cal (A Little Christmas Season Three)

4. Simon

Chapter 4

Simon

I left work early because I was hoping to have some time to chat with Cal.

But I didn’t think that plan through, and when Santa showed up twenty minutes before the start time, the kids who were already waiting in line started to get antsy.

After a few minutes of awkwardly watching each other, we had to open up early. I felt bad about making Cal and Lucy start early, but it was torture to make all those sweet little faces stare at us when we were just a few feet away and not really doing anything but waiting for the clock to move.

The first kid to hop onto my lap was about three and carrying a stuffed bear that looked like it was older than him. His mother adjusted him on my knee and then stepped back to begin her assault of photos.

“Well, hello there. Who did you bring with you today?” I tapped the bear’s foot.

“Bawownie.” He held up the bear so I could get an even closer look. Apparently, I needed to feel the crusty fur on my nose to really see it.

“Brownie is a very nice bear.” I pulled back to get a bit of fresh air. It seemed Brownie needed a bath. Or twenty. “And what would you like me to bring to you for Christmas?”

“A twain.” He reached for the fur collar of my jacket and cuddled into it. “I wike twains.”

“I like trains too. And candy.” I pointed to Cal, who was holding a candy cane just above the camera lens to make the child smile in that direction. After the first few visits, I learned that with the younger ones, it was more about getting the photo than holding a conversation.

Several cameras flashed and then the child was crawling off my knee and over to Elf Cal for his candy cane as the next kid shuffled toward me. It was a busy night, and we decided to skip our break because we wanted to make sure we got through every person in line before we had to shut down for the evening.

The whole time I was there, I kept my eyes on Cal. I couldn’t help smiling when he smiled and learning his mannerisms. The way he rolled his eyes at rude parents who were trying to force their opinions on their children about what they should say they wanted rather than just letting the kid speak from the heart was endearing. And when he giggled at the kids who asked for baby brothers or sisters or ponies, I knew he was having fun watching those parents squirm.

His youthful joy reminded me how much I missed having scenes with Littles. It had been too long, and as much as I enjoyed taking care of my new community and the wildlife and the forest, what I longed most for was to have a boy of my own to take care of.

Someone who valued my input and wanted me to be a part of his life in a significant way. Someone I could be Daddy to.

I hadn’t let myself think about that since moving to Hermanton, but Cal brought forward some desires that I had managed to repress.

Desires I wasn’t sure I could continue to repress even if I wanted to.

Lucy packed up her equipment and was quick to take off, saying something about not wanting to miss her show. Cal was reorganizing a display of nutcrackers that had been knocked over by an unsupervised tween.

I watched as his frown deepened with every scratch and broken button he noticed. “I can’t believe some parents just let their kids run wild and break shit.” He held up half of a hat that had cracked right off the doll. “These have probably been around for decades without any issues and some little punks who have never experienced consequences come in and destroy them all.”

He was really taking this hard. “Let me see that.” I held out my hand and closely inspected the painted wood after he gave it to me. “I think I can fix that.”

“You can?” His eyes were big, and his features softened. If I didn’t know what to look for, I might have missed the hints of regression I was witnessing. “How?”

“Well, I have a workshop at home with paints and glues and all the tools needed to fix these.” I reached for one of the smaller nutcrackers and ran my finger over some deep scratches in the wood. “These aren’t too bad. And to be fair, some of these dings look like they’ve been around for a while. Those brats didn’t cause all this damage.” I looked up at Cal and winked. “Just the major stuff.”

“You have a workshop at home? Like the real Santa?”

I cocked my head, wondering if he meant real in the sense that he actually believed Santa had a workshop in the North Pole or if he just meant that it was inline with the fairy tale version of Santa. “I don’t make toys, per se. I, um…make miniatures. So, they’re sorta like toys but the kind you just put on a shelf and look at. You don’t actually get to play with them.”

His lower lip jutted out, and Cal furrowed his brow. “Toys you can’t play with? Those shouldn’t even exist.”

“Ouch.” I chuckled and dragged my index finger over his lower lip, making a slight popping sound as the seal broke, and he smiled. “That’s my favorite hobby you’re wishing out of existence.”

“Oops, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just…” He shrugged and took the piece of broken wood from my hand and looked at it with sadness. “I just really like toys, and it makes me sad to think there are so many out there just collecting dust and not being played with.”

My work did collect a lot of dust. I couldn’t argue with him there. “I’ll bring one in tomorrow to show you. You’ll understand what I mean when you see one.”

His eyes lit up and his frown was turned upside down. “You mean it? You’ll bring me one?”

“Sure.” I ran through the collection I hadn’t put up for sale yet. A Christmas morning scene I worked on last year came to mind. “In fact, I have a cookie scene that I think you’ll appreciate.”

“Oh, cookies!” He clapped his hands together and looked back at the storage area. “I almost forgot that I brought you some.”

“You did?” Now it was my turn to be shocked speechless.

He didn’t bother to answer before disappearing into the storage area. “I made them last night for my work and put a few aside for you.” He reappeared a moment later with a glass container of gingerbread Santas and colorful ornament cookies.

“You made these?” I reached for one of the ornaments and immediately noticed the perfect outlining and symmetrical stars. “These look great.”

Cal’s cheeks flushed pink. “Thank you, Simon.”

I wanted to hug him and tell him how proud I was, but that wasn’t my place. He was a colleague who brought me some cookies. That was the extent of it. “Really, you could sell these.” I took a bite and the sugar cookie melted in my mouth. “Damn, they taste even better than they look… I didn’t think that was possible.”

“I don’t think anyone would pay for them, but I’m glad you like ‘em.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I just wish I had remembered to pick up milk on the way. They taste even better with milk.”

“No worries. I carry my own.” The joke slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to censor it. Fuck. That was not a conversation I was having in Santa’s Village in an increasingly empty mall. “I mean, they’re delicious on their own. Thank you, Cal. That was very kind and thoughtful.”

He sucked in a deep breath through his nose as he smiled at me. It seemed like he wanted to say more but he kept the words to himself.