Cal (A Little Christmas Season Three)

8. Cal

Chapter 8

Cal

I’d said too much. I thought Simon would just blurt it out after all the teasing and hints, but now, he seemed upset that I was asking him to share something so intimate about himself.

“Never mind.” I pulled away and picked up the paint brush. “I didn’t mean to pry. We can just paint.”

“Cal.” Simon was right behind me, using his deep Daddy voice that I couldn’t pretend not to hear.

I was still, holding the brush mid-air as if frozen in place. “Yeah.”

“If you just want to paint and eat dinner, that’s okay. We can do that.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “But if you’d like to talk and maybe explore something more than that, I’d like that too. But it’s up to you. I won’t force you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“I am ready!” Now I was frustrated for real. “I’m the one who opened up and told you my secret, and you keep hinting your secret, but now you won’t even tell me so I can try it.” I tossed the brush onto the table and felt a tiny bit of satisfaction as it bounced off and clanked to the floor. “That’s being a mean Daddy.”

Simon tensed behind me and immediately stepped back.

“Sorry.” I went overboard with that. “That was rude.” I could feel tears coating my eyes, but I was too emotionally drained to be able to stop them. “I do want to paint and I want to talk and have more.” I sniffled, hoping my tears would stay in my eyes and not pour out, but they leaked anyway. “I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Thinking about what?” Simon stepped closer again, wrapping his big palms around my neck and tilting my head up with his thumbs. “Please tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours because I’m not sure we’re on the same page and I want to be.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I really want to be, sweetheart. I just need you to use your words.”

Could I do that? Normally, I was pretty good about asking for what I wanted. At least, when I was with strangers I could. At the club, I presented a list of limits and preferences before full names were exchanged and that worked out well. I hadn’t been as direct with my ex, and that was probably a big contributor to the fact that we didn’t work out.

So if I had any hope of things working out with Simon, I needed to be honest and upfront with him. I needed to just say it all. “Okay, but don’t look at me.”

“Um, where do you want me to look?” He sounded amused but still used his more serious Daddy voice.

“Maybe close your eyes?” I shrugged, not really sure how to answer that.

“Can we go upstairs to talk? Maybe sit on the couch where we’ll be more comfortable?”

I nodded, relieved he had a plan since I didn’t. “Yes, please.”

Simon grabbed my hand and led me back up the stairs to his living room. He sat down in the corner with one leg up on the cushions and patted the cushion between his legs for me to sit down.

I sat with my back facing him, and when he wrapped his arms around my chest and pulled me against him, my whole body melted. It felt so good to be safely nestled in his arms.

“Now, let’s try this again, sweetheart. Please tell Daddy what’s on your mind.”

Damn, I loved when he said that. Needing to be even closer to him, I reached for one of his hands and held it to my chest. The temptation to suck his thumb into my mouth was strong, but that needed to wait until I was done talking. “Are you a Daddy who makes milk?” As soon as I said the words, I did in fact pull his thumb into my mouth and sucked on it, hoping he wasn’t angry that I was forcing him to share his secret with me.

“Yes, I am.” My tongue stopped mid suck as his words sank in. “Have you had a Daddy like that before?”

I pulled on his wrist and released his thumb from my mouth. “No, never. I’ve only had one Daddy, but he was a grump. He never wanted to play or paint or snuggle.” I cringed just thinking about him. “We weren’t right for each other at all.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Twisting slightly, I stretched out on the couch and rested my head on Simon’s elbow. “I’m not. If we had stayed together, I wouldn’t have met you.” I dragged my fingertip down his sternum. “I wouldn’t even know there were milk Daddies out there.”

Simon slipped his fingers through my hair, lightly scratching my head. “How did you figure out my secret?”

I smirked. “You were dropping a lot of hints. I didn’t actually understand what you were saying, but some of the guys at work were dairy guys or something like that.” That reminded me. “Oh, what do you call yourself? They said milk-tenders or cream guys or something like that.”

A chuckle rumbled from his chest, vibrating under my finger. “I don’t really call myself anything. I’m a member of the Lactin Brotherhood, and a bunch of the guys I know there call themselves milkmen or milk daddies, but I’m not particularly active in the industry. I just like to stay aware of the best products and clothing.”

“What kind of products?” All my shyness and insecurities disappeared once I knew Simon was comfortable talking about this condition that was so fascinating to me.

“Well, I pump twice a day, so I go through them regularly. I usually have to replace them every year. And then undershirts. There’s a drywear company that I follow and most of my wardrobe comes from there. But otherwise, it’s just a side note in my life.” He flashed a sad smile. “One that usually scares people away more than drawing them in.”

“I’m drawn in.” I flattened my hand over his pec and rested it there.

Simon’s nipple hardened under my touch, poking me through the thin fabric of his shirt. “What are you drawn to?”

“You.” I closed my eyes, hiding from the world as I poured my heart out to him. “I like watching you smile and laugh. And when one of the kids tells you they’ve been naughty, I like how you get all stern. It’s sexy.”

Simon ran his finger down over my lips and then gripped my chin. “What else?”

“I want to taste you.” I reached for his wrist and moved his finger back up to my mouth so I could lick it. “And drink from you.”

Simon sucked in a breath and leaned forward so his cock was pressed against my hip as he lowered his mouth to mine. “May I kiss you, Cal?”

“Yes, Daddy.” I closed my eyes and tilted my head, waiting for him to close the distance. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.”

Maybe a few days didn’t seem like a long time to him, but it was a lot of time to me. Like a billion seconds. At least, that’s what it felt like.