Calamity Rayne Knocked Up (Calamity Rayne #4)

19. Blue Forty-Two! Rover Sit! Hut, Hut!

Blue Forty-Two! Rover Sit! Hut, Hut!

“ I think we just walked onto the set of Downton Abby.”

My mother and I stopped several yards from the field where the men were warming up. “Who plays football in white?”

“Rich people.”

They looked like a bunch of ice cream cones. On the sidelines, lawn furniture had been set out. Not those collapsible stadium chairs soccer moms dragged to the edge of a field. These were natural wicker and teak pieces.

“I feel underdressed.”

I was still in my shopping clothes from that morning. My leggings were built for speed and thriftiness and my sweater was the furthest thing from a fashion statement. Hale could have warned me this was a semi-formal affair. Everyone was dressed New England casual, which looked like they basically raided the set wardrobe of Succession .

“Rayne, there you are!” Seraphina called, holding a wide-brimmed hat on her head as she marched over to greet us in a flowy linen dress. “The game’s about to start.” She bent over the stroller and tickled Elara. “Hello, beautiful.”

My eyes searched for Hale. He paced what I assumed was a goal line as he strategized with several men about their plays. “How do they tell who’s on which team?”

“They wear designated sweater vests. You’ll see.”

Remington sat at a round table shaded by a canvas umbrella. A brunch buffet of refreshments and fruit sat beneath a canopy several feet away. Hugo operated an omelet station to its right. I was definitely getting an omelet.

“So I guess you guys don’t do soft pretzels and hot dogs.”

“No, but we have beer,” Phina joked, honestly believing those fancy German bottles represented some version of roughing it .

“Oh, a beer sounds nice,” my mom said, pushing the stroller toward the refreshments.

I sat beside Remington, offering a cold, “Good morning.”

“It’s past eleven, Meyers. Morning’s over.”

“I was merely reporting that I had a good morning.” I lifted my nose. “I’m guessing you can’t say the same.”

His head remained straight, his gaze focused on the field and hidden behind his Cartier glasses. “You have something you want to say to me?”

“Not particularly.” I drew my cardigan over my chest and stared at the field. “I saw Odette leave last night.”

“Leave it alone, Meyers.”

I looked at him and slouched. “I really liked her, Remington.”

“So did I. But a smart man knows when it’s time to move on.”

“Well, aren’t you just a rolling stone.”

“Moss is overrated.”

A whistle blew, and Alphonse walked to the middle of the field. “Is he the ref?”

“Yes. Pay attention.”

I watched the field as the men lined up. Argyle sweaters were passed out, some in navy blue with green diamonds, others in brown with burnt orange stripes. As the men suited up and adjusted their old driving hats, I laughed. “They look adorable.”

“I’m sure they’d thrill at hearing themselves described in such a way.”

If bean was a boy, I could totally see him wearing something similar for his first portraits. “How come you don’t play?”

“I host. Besides, I can’t run like I used to.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You seem to run around pretty well at parties, Remington.”

“Don’t make me fire you on vacation, Meyers.”

Naomi sat down on the other side of Remington. “Here, Remy. So your stomach doesn’t get upset from the vitamins.”

I frowned as Hale’s mom placed a plate of fruit and toast in front of Remington and lovingly draped a napkin over his lap. What in Satan’s fresh hell was this?

“I can always tell when you’re hungover.” She set two capsules beside his plate.

“What are you giving him?” I oversaw all of Remington’s medication, and he didn’t need anything interacting with his prescriptions.

“It’s just a little vitamin C and an immunity booster.” She stole a strawberry off his plate and took a bite. “Mmm. The berries are so fresh. Taste.”

I gaped in horror as she fed him the other half of her strawberry. He ate it right from her fingers, and then she sucked off a dribble of juice. Was no one else seeing this?

I banged my knee against Phina’s as she shaded her eyes and watched the men line up. “Ouch!”

Angling my head toward her father and Naomi, I shot her a wide-eyed look.

“What’s wrong with you, Rayne? Are you having some sort of fit?”

“Look at your dad and Naomi,” I whispered through clenched teeth, and she glanced past me.

“So? They’re always like that.”

“ What? No, they’re not.”

“Yes, they are.” She looked back at the men.

“I’ve never seen them act like this together. They’re being…gross.”

She chuckled. “This is nothing. You’ve probably never noticed because Odette’s always around. She’s gone now. Just wait. It gets way worse. They’ll end up in the same bed tonight.”

“What?” Did Hale know about this?

“Relax, Rayne. He does this with all of them.”

“What all of them ? Who?”

“The moms.”

“You mean he does this with your mom too?”

“And Barrett’s. Ooh, they’re about to start.” She stood and clapped.

I also stood and threw out a two-fingered whistle that earned me several scowls from the older folks. I was so confused. How had I suddenly become Julia Roberts at the polo match in Pretty Woman? This was a football game, right?

A more refined whistle blew, and the men got into formation. Hale jogged over to the table and gave me a quick kiss. “Where’s Elara?”

“She’s getting a beer with her grandmother. Shouldn’t you be out there?”

“I’m on the bench for now.”

“Oh.” I tugged at his sweater. “You look so dapper.”

I glanced at the bulge below his belt. “They’ll do.”

“Good.” He smacked my ass, and not discreetly .

“Ooh!” I corralled him away from the table. “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

I moved far enough away from the table that he could see what I was talking about without being overheard. “I just thought you should know your mom and dad are doing some pretty hardcore flirting.”

He glanced over my shoulder and shook his head. “I’m not surprised. Odette left last night. Be grateful it’s my mom and not Barrett’s girlfriend.”

“Hale!” I laughed, because that was pretty funny—and plausible.

“What? You going to pretend that’s below him?”

“Well, I doubt she’d blow him.”

“I said be-low him.”

“Or that.” I snorted. “Actually, I haven’t seen McKinsley since last night.” I sure hoped Barrett knew I was joking about drugging her.

“Just follow the money.” He lifted his chin, and I followed his gaze to a group of older men. Barret’s girlfriend was practically spoon-feeding that Captain Stubing dude.

“Does Barrett see this?”

“I think he’s hoping one of them will take her off his hands.”

“Oh, well, in that case, I’m in full support.”

Two men careened into the dirt at our feet, and Hale ushered me back a few steps. My eyes widened.

“This is tackle football?”

“We’re fashionable, Rayne, not fragile. I gotta get back.” He kissed my cheek and jogged across the field while the ball wasn’t in play.

I looked down at the two men wobbling to their feet. They laughed and patted each other on the back, then returned to their teams. Those grass stains were never coming out of those white pants.

The first half of the game was entertaining—until it wasn’t. Football involved a lot of stopping and starting. Hale was a faster runner than I realized, and he’d scored two touchdowns. I cheered, as did Elara, but everyone else seemed content to ignore the game and sip tea.

“Come on, Xander!” Seraphina cheered, rising to her feet. “ Run! Run!” The whistle blew, and she threw her hands in frustration. “He had that.”

“So,” I said as she returned to her seat. “ What did you two do yesterday when you left the house?”

She twisted her lips. “Nothing. We walked for a while, but he never even tried to hold my hand.”

“Now that you had a chance to get to know him, do you like him?”

“Rayne, he’s gorgeous. And Daddy seems impressed with him.”

I pitied how desperately she wanted her father’s approval. “Your dad wants to buy out his company, Phina. That’s why he’s interested in him.”

“Oh, well, Xander’s not selling. He told me so yesterday.”

“Everything’s for sale.”

She laughed. “You’re starting to sound like Hale.”

I was actually quoting Remington, but Hale would agree with me.

There was a commotion, and Remington was on his feet. “Go! Run!”

Barrett had the ball and was closing in on the mark when another man charged him out of nowhere. He threw the ball, and Hale caught it. I was up and screaming for him to move when a body flew through the air and toppled him into the dirt.

I gasped. “Oh, my God.”

Remington caught my arm. “He’s okay.”

Hale wasn’t moving. The other guy pushed himself off Hale, and I recognized Xander’s dark hair. “What the fuck?” I waited for Hale to sit up, but he didn’t move. “I have to go to him.”

Remington’s hold tightened. “He’s a big boy, Meyers. And you’re pregnant. Sit down.”

I looked back at the field, my lip trembling as the men huddled around Hale’s sprawled body, making it hard to see. If he didn’t get up in five seconds I was going out there.

Barrett walked over to his brother and laughed. Then he held out a hand and plucked him off the ground as if nothing happened. My heart spiked with relief, and I exhaled as Hale brushed the dirt off his pants and blew me a kiss.

Was he laughing? He could have broken his neck or worse.

Xander patted a hand on his back and pulled him into a headlock, swatting his wool cap against his chest. It must have been knocked off his head when he savagely tackled him to the ground.

I sat at the table and chewed my lip. I wanted to punch Xander right in the dick.

Hale returned to the table at half-time, but my nerves still hadn’t settled and I didn’t trust myself to talk without getting overly upset.

“What the hell were you thinking, letting him come at your blind spot like that?” Remington snapped. “Your wife doesn’t need to see that in her condition.”

Rather than tell his father to butt out, Hale’s attention turned to me and laughed off my concern. “I’m fine.”

I shoved him away when he tried to hug me. “I thought you were really hurt, Hale. What the hell’s wrong with Xander? He didn’t have to come at you that hard.”

“It’s how the game’s played, baby. Believe me, I’m completely fine.”

I scowled. How dare he minimize this to make me feel like I was overreacting? “There’s mud on your shoes.”

“It happens.”

Who was this man?

Xander wandered over and Phina greeted him with a lemonade. When he smiled at me I scowled and turned my back on him .

“Rayne’s upset with you,” Hale explained.

“I couldn’t tell.” Xander winked when I gaped at him. “She gets annoyed with me so much I’m beginning to think she has a crush on me.”

I nearly choked on my virgin julip. “Hardly.”

Hale moved closer and put his hands on my shoulders, massaging the tension from my neck. I allowed it.

Xander watched us as Hale knelt in the grass behind my chair and whispered in my ear. “I keep thinking about last night. I want more.”

I laughed because he was tickling my neck, but my stare never broke from Xander’s. I swear, his nostrils flared before he abruptly turned and walked away.

“Whoa, get a room, you two,” Phina said.

After the game, everyone lingered on the lawn, enjoying the fall foliage. When the sun started to fade, hot cider was served, and one by one, the guests wandered back to the houses to change for dinner.

I glanced at my phone, and Hale noted the time. “Has he landed yet?”

“I haven’t gotten a text. ”

Tyler was supposed to be there for dinner, but his flight had been delayed so I wasn’t sure when he would arrive. Hale arranged for Alphonse to pick him up whenever he landed.

“What do you say we grab a shower before he gets here?”

I was starting to get cold, so a shower sounded great. “Mom, can you stay with Elara for a while?”

“Of course.”

We weren’t far from the house, so it was an easy walk, but we only made it halfway there. “Come here.” Hale pulled me behind one of the outbuildings that faced the woods.

“Hale, it’s getting too cold.”

“Just five minutes.” He opened his pants and stroked his length. “Show me.”

“Are you kidding? Here?”

“Baby, it’s all I’ve thought about all day.”

I looked left then right, making sure we were completely isolated. Then, I dropped the picnic blanket to the ground as he helped me lower to my knees. “You’re so spoiled, it’s ridiculous.”

“I know, baby, but I can’t help it.” He cupped the back of my head, guiding my mouth to his cock. “You’re the one addiction I’ll never give up.” He fisted my hair, sliding to the back of my throat. “Fuck.”

The scent of his body mingled with the grassy scent of earth that clung to his clothes and the sweet smell of chimney smoke nearby.

“That’s it, baby. Nice and deep. Let me see those eyes while you take care of me.”

I looked up at him, mouth full, hands balanced on his thighs.

“Fuck. That’s it. That’s my good wife.” He rocked his hips forward, thrusting deeper. “You like my cock down your throat, don’t you, baby?”

I moaned, and he pumped his hips faster.

“Show me how much you like it.” His hand tightened in my hair, his hips thrusting as he cursed and sucked in a sharp breath, finishing faster than I expected. “Yes. Swallow it.”

My throat was still working as he pulled me off the ground and pressed my back into the wooden building. “You’re the sexiest fucking woman alive, Rayne. Do you know that?”

His tongue swept into my mouth, where I was sure he could taste his release. His fingers shoved into my cotton leggings, dipping into my panties to rub my clit. He pressed a finger inside of me, and I gasped. His tongue licked deeper as he turned his wrist, finding the perfect angle.

He pushed my shirt upward, exposing my round belly and full breasts. Shoving the lace cups of my bra to my ribs, he crouched and sucked my nipple into his mouth.

I cried out at the sharp bite of pleasure, my body more sensitive than usual. There hadn’t been any more embarrassing nipple leaks since that first time, but he was sucking hard enough to possibly cause one.

“Hale…”

“Let it out, baby. I want you to come all over my hand.”

Shutting my eyes, I tried not to think about the little control I had over my body and focused on the pleasure he delivered. My head tipped back, and I gasped. He sucked my engorged nipples into dark points and rubbed his palm along my clit until my legs trembled.

I clung to him as my knees went out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Hale, I’m coming!”

“I’ve got you, baby.”

He fucked his fingers inside of me as I clutched his shoulders and bit my own hand to stop from screaming. He dropped to his knees, yanking my pants below my hips, and sucked my clit as hard as he’d sucked my nipples.

“Hale!” My fingers knotted in his hair as he pushed one climax into another. I was losing my grip on reality as much as I was losing the ability to stand.

“One more, baby.”

“I can’t.”

“Please. Show me what a good wife you are. Show me how much you love it when I touch you.” He looked up at me with those devastatingly dark, gunmetal eyes and dragged his tongue along my slit.

My hips reflexively cocked forward and I squeezed my eyes shut. He had me so sensitized it only took one lick. He successfully found the fucking center of my Tootsie Pop.