Carve My Pumpkin (The Night Realm: Halloween Marked #3)

Chapter 5

FIVE

MATEO

I pushed through the crowd already filling every crevice of the Two Angels’ Pub, looking for my brothers and my out-law brothers – aka my sisters’ husbands. Not my in-laws but my out-laws. The first Friday of every month we made a point to have a guys’ night at the pub for drinks and a little unwinding. It was important to us to make time for each other. It was something we’d started after Christmas after I’d nearly died. I’d never been more grateful than I was in that moment as I marched to the back of the pub to where our table was.

It wasn’t dark out yet, but Friday nights always got a good, early crowd right after work. They were all a blur as I passed. Normally, I’d stop and say hi to friends on my way to my group, but tonight I was on a mission. There were things I needed to vent about that only my brothers would understand.

When I finally rounded the bar and came out on the backside of the pub where our favorite table was tucked into the corner, I spotted my brothers in an instant. Our table was as far from the open walls that overlooked the sidewalk as possible to give us more privacy. I scanned the group huddled at the table and spotted five nearly identical black-haired, sapphire-eyed guys who, despite the centuries between their ages, all looked the same age. It reminded me of why my siblings went out of their way to have their own unique style so that they felt they had their own identities. In all fairness, I’d stopped wearing my contacts after the coma because I was sick of everyone coming up to me for medical advice thinking I was Nash. I loved my twin, but he was too damn chummy with every single Megelle Island resident.

Even as I approached our table, my twin was the only one turned in his chair to chat with the group of guys at the next table. Beside him, Josiah and Kallahan were looking over Ernald’s shoulders at something on our elder brother’s phone. At the other side of the table, Hemming was in the middle of an arm-wrestling match with Thomas while Henry just watched them with disappointment on his face as he sipped his beer.

I glanced around them, looking for one specific face, Constantine’s, but none of the faces there were his, which was a relief. I wasn’t in the mood for his ancient, cold logic. I needed to yell and be mad. At that moment, Nash glanced up and spotted me. He nudged Kallahan, then nodded in my direction. The others all looked up and grinned.

“MATEO!”

“Matty-boy!”

“Mateo!”

Josiah whistled. “Clark Kent is in the house.”

They were shouting my name from halfway across the pub. Judging by the flush in their cheeks, the glassiness in their eyes, and the overall sloppy grins, I knew they’d gotten a head start for our guys’ night. Or I was late. It didn’t matter. I didn’t care. Nor did I greet them. I just marched straight up to their table and snatched the pint of beer off the table and chugged it. They fell silent around me. I didn’t even taste the beer as I swallowed the last drop. When I slammed the empty mug on the table, I glanced around the table to the group of them.

Ernald pursed his lips and nodded. He leaned forward and held his full mug of beer out to me. “Rough day, little brother?”

I yanked the mug from his hand and chugged it before handing the empty glass back to my seven-hundred-year-old brother who looked younger than me with his hair buzzed that short.

“This ought to be good.” Nash chuckled and leaned back in his chair, propping his feet up on the table as he shoved peanuts into his mouth. “C’mon, twin. Let ‘er rip?—”

“ What does she think I’ve been doing for nine months?” I shouted but the volume of the rowdy pub around us drowned me out. “ Does she think I’ve been twiddling my thumbs and staring out a window?”

Henry lowered his drink and scowled, his dark eyes focusing on me. “Who is this she ?—”

“She’s deception incarnate?—”

“I think it’s the new assistant,” Kallahan said with a grin. “I saw her this morning in the office?—”

“I should’ve fired her this morning and sent her back to Lex.” I growled and dove for the pint in Thomas’s hands. “He likes her so much, he can keep her?—”

“You don’t even like that IPA, Matty?—”

“Apparently it’s the day for not liking things, Thomas.” I gulped his IPA and cringed at the taste I hated.

Kallahan held his hand up. “Didn’t Lex hand-select her for the position?—”

“It’s mutiny, dammit.” I tossed the pint back at Thomas, relishing how it splashed onto his hands even as he caught it mid-air. “He set me up. That’s the only logical explanation?—”

“Feels a bit messy for Lexington, Matty?—”

“It has to be revenge of some kind!” I stole the bowl of peanuts from my twin and dumped a bunch into my mouth to try and chase away that awful taste of the IPA.

“See, I told you not to drink that?—”

“Hey, Matty made it!” Jonathan cheered as he walked up to our table carrying six glass mugs full of beer. “Happy spooky seas?—”

“Those IPAs?” I pointed to the drinks in his hand. When he shook his head, I grabbed one of them and chugged while I reached for a second.

“Oh. One of those days, eh, kid?” Jonathan laughed and clapped my shoulder. His light eyes were bright and sparkling like he was excited to see me flustered. “Let me get a few more pints.”

Thomas waved for his brother. “Hey, grab me another IPA. Baby Matty spilled mine?—”

“Should pour it down the drain right with her, ” I grumbled and cracked my knuckles.

Nash rolled his eyes, but he was still chuckling. “Jon, ask Chuck to send some grub over for me? We have to feed this fool before we’re carrying him home before sunset.”

Hemming snort-laughed into his beer, causing it to splash onto his face. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Remember your twenty-first birthday when you tried to carry drunk Matty back to the train while being wasted yourself?”

Josiah cackled. “You were sorority-girl wasted trying to carry a sack of potatoes.”

“He was trying to lick the floor of Penn Station. I had twin duties?—”

I slammed my hands on the tables. “So, if I’m not in a coma, no one cares about my problems?”

“That’s debatable.” Josiah pursed his lips. “Seeing as Nash stole your girl while you were in a coma?—”

“My girl. MY girl. I unknowingly and unintentionally stole my girl.” Nash rolled his eyes again, but he was grinning down into the bowl of peanuts. “She’s mine and we had a great December, for the most part.”

“ Nashville —”

“Mateo. ” Nash sighed and leaned back farther in his wooden chair, looking the picture of ease. “So far you’ve only given us a lot of grumbling and beer stealing.”

“Heyyyy! Matty-ho made it!” Orson slid up to the table carrying a few baskets of curly fries. He sat them on the table and then hissed at my twin. He gestured to my twin’s feet propped on the table. “Nash, really?”

Nash’s grin turned crooked as he looked up into our little brother’s face. “Sorry, Connie?—”

“ Ohhh, ” Thomas threw his hands up and shook his head, sending blond hair flopping all around his face.

Kallahan slammed his hands on the table and laughed. “Shots fired.”

“This is gonna be a good night.” Josiah pulled his pink silk scarf off and draped it over his chair’s back. “It’s about to get messy.”

Orson walked around to sit in the spot Nash’s feet had just been. “Perhaps some of us are a bit too messy already.”

Jonathan returned with another round of drinks, then sat down between Thomas and Henry. “Right. I’m back now. You may proceed with the tea.”

“What I would give for high tea right now,” Pippin said with a sigh suddenly right behind me. He slid around to take the seat next to his husband, Ernald. “The kids are with Drusilla arguing over Halloween costumes and the rules of dibs . . . I need a drink and adult drama.”

Ernald reached up and ran his fingers through Pippin’s blond hair. “Our youngest rake of a brother seems to have an issue with his assistant.”

“I am not a rake,” I said with a growl.

“ Reformed rake. ” Nash used his bowl of peanuts to point at Ernald. “Keep up, old man.”

Henry chuckled. “But the drama is about his assistant.”

“You scuffed the table, Nashville.” Josiah huffed and used his scarf to try and rub off the scuff marks on the wooden table. “How long has the new assistant been work?—”

“One day.” Kallahan couldn’t seem to keep his laughter to himself. “She got promoted yesterday after lunch.”

Orson inspected Josiah’s efforts, then glanced up at Kallahan. “This is Dennis’s replacement?”

“ She isn’t a replacement! She’s a repercussion! ” I pulled my glasses off and tossed them onto the table, then scrubbed my face with my hands. “I can’t believe Dennis has done this to me?—”

“Dennis didn’t do anything to you, Matty. He retired. He’s old?—”

“ You’re old, Ernald! ” I shouted so loud people flinched around us.

Henry pulled his wand out of where he always stashed it in his boot. He flicked it around us and the volume of the pub around us softened into a dull rumble. He nodded and gave us a smirk. “Just a gut feeling.”

Nash tossed more peanuts into his mouth. “All right, twin. Get to it. What’s the problem?”

“ The problem? The problem? ” I tugged on my hair. “The problem is this has to be a setup. A trap. Maybe Dennis playing some retirement prank on me. Or Lex?—”

“That doesn’t make any sense, Mateo, and you know that.” Pippin picked up a glass mug and took a sip. “Dennis is mortal and beyond retirement age. Lex is above pranks?—”

“What’s so wrong with this girl?” Kallahan grabbed a handful of curly fries. “It’s been one day . . . What possibly could’ve gone wrong?—”

“The resume, for starters!” I grabbed a beer and chugged it, then slammed the empty glass back down. “Lexington hand-picked her for this position by her resume. I saw it. I approved because a referral from Lex alone used to mean something. But she’s clearly been fooling everyone. It’s the long-game scam. Damn tricksy fae?—”

“Careful, little one,” Pippin warned with one blond eyebrow raised.

“What does she think I’ve been doing for nine months? How is this what she brings to the table?”

Nash sighed. “Mateo, you’re not making enough sense?—”

“ How did SHE get this job? ” I balled my hands into fists above the table while my legs bounced beneath it. “Ms. Rothchild is useless and?—”

“Rothchild?” Pippin scowled. “Are you talking about Colette Rothchild?”

Ernald cocked his head to the side. “Wait. Are you?”

“Who is this?” Josiah snapped his fingers. “I need a full story here.”

Kallahan leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. His face scrunched in confusion. “I’m confused. I thought your new assistant was Colette Rothchild?”

“IT IS!” I yelled because I didn’t know how else to handle all this hot emotion burning in my veins.

“I thought so. But I’m confused?—”

“What’s there to be confused about?—”

“Colette is one of the best employees Prescott Tech has, Mateo.” Ernald pinched the bridge of his nose. “What are you going on about?”

“I call bullshit on that!”

Hemming shook his head. “No, that can’t be right. Colette was a huge help to me and Jude a couple years ago when we were first setting up our architecture firm. She’s been a huge help almost weekly.”

“Exactly. She worked for me in the tech department for three years when she first got hired.” Ernald took a bite of a curly fry while staring at me like I was under a microscope. “The ideas she came up with were brilliant. And she’s quite the techy. I was sad to lose her from my department?—”

“While I was thrilled to steal her.” Pippin winked to his husband. “The arts weren’t her thing, so I let Fina take her.”

Jonathan’s head snapped up. “Fina? She worked for Fina? Wait, which one is Colette?”

“Fauna’s daughter.” Henry sprinkled salt onto one basket of fries. “You know, the fae who lives out in that cottage who’s like nine hundred years old and refused to get any kind of electricity until Colette forced it during college.”

Josiah gasped. “Fauna the florist?”

Henry nodded.

“Fauna’s got the best flowers.” Josiah snapped his fingers. “And Colette is quite the little rose herself.”

Jonathan’s scowl only deepened. “Thomas, do we know Fauna or Colette?”

Thomas ran a hand through his blond hair. “Doesn’t sound familiar.”

Kallahan shook his head. “You probably don’t know Fauna. She keeps to herself. But Colette is best friends with the sisters who run the library, Sylvia and Gertie. And Ricky’s wife Susan. They have their little book club.”

Orson snorted. “I still have questions about that friend group.”

“What does this Colette look like?” Thomas narrowed his eyes. “We have to know her.”

“She’s got long, straight blonde hair and green eyes.” Orson shrugged.

“Yeah, she’s a dime.” Hemming nodded in approval. “I hung out with her at a party at Jude’s last year.”

“She’s a dime ?” Orson cringed. “What the hell does that mean?”

Hemming frowned. “A dime . . . is ten cents . . . so she’s a ten?”

Josiah snickered. “Yeah, we don’t say that anymore?—”

“What?” Thomas gasped.

Jonathan shook his head. “Why not?”

“Look, look, look—it doesn’t matter if you know who she is or not?—”

“OH, WAIT.” Jonathan banged on the table. “I do know Colette. Connie introduced me to her once. She’s gorgeous?—”

“Wait a second.” Nash leaned forward and waved his hand in front of me to force my attention back to him. “Mateo, are you mad because she’s beautiful?”

“NO!”

Josiah pressed his hands to his chest. “Aww. Is she too pretty for you?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s about her being useless?—”

“Is it because she’s blonde?” Ernald tugged on the ends of Pippin’s blond strands. “Because I get it.”

Henry gestured to Pippin and the two vampire brothers, Thomas and Jonathan. “Honestly, the blond fixation is basically in your blood.”

“I don’t like to talk about women like this, but Colette is a catch.” Kallahan’s cheeks flushed pink. “She’s really, really beautiful.”

“She’s really, really bad at her job!” I shouted.

“How do you figure?” Orson curled a curly fry around his finger. “You aren’t doing your job right now?—”

“Yeah, good point.” Kallahan was still a little flushed. “What have you asked her to do that you think she’s so bad at?”

“I gave her one task. One. That’s it.” I let out a frustrated exhale. “She came back in with some bullshit, weak execution . . . if you can even call it that.”

“What was the task?”

“ To find my soulmate! ” I pushed my sleeve up to look down at my soulmate mark as if they’d forgotten about that drama. “She came in today with the brilliant idea to go to the Halloween events this month and look for her. She even printed out the calendar of events as if I didn’t know them before she did. What is that? What does she think I’ve been doing since Christmas?”

“Well, did you tell her that?” Nash’s voice was cool and collected.

“ I shouldn’t have to! ”

“What?” Ernald scowled and shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to tell your new employee what’s already been done for the task? That’s ridiculous, Mateo. That makes you a bad boss.”

“It’s only been one day too.” Pippin whistled. “That’s some intense hate for a stranger.”

“Did you help her in any way with anything?”

“It doesn’t matter, Ernald.” Nash grinned at me. “He’s mad because she’s gorgeous and he’s very attracted to her, and this time he can’t have her. For the first time in his life he wants to take a girl home and he can’t.”

“ No, it’s not that,” I mumbled under my breath.

“Aww . . .” Josiah batted his eyelashes. “She is too pretty for you!”

“Is it actually because she’s blonde?” Ernald leaned closer and winked as he squeezed Pippin’s hand. “Again, I get it.”

I sighed. “No, no, no?—”

“It is, isn’t it, twin?” He pointed at me and kept grinning. “You’re mad because she’s pretty and you’re attracted to her, and you can’t do anything about it now because you have a soulmate.”

“NO!”

“Yep. It is.” Thomas cackled. “Look at that blush.”

“You can’t fire her because she’s pretty, twin.”

“I’m NOT!”

“You can’t fire her because you’re attracted to her.”

“That’s not why?—”

“Bullshit.” Nash laughed. “Bullshit, Mateo. You want her and you can’t have her because you swore off all women until you found your soulmate.”

“Awww.” Thomas giggled. “Poor reformed rake. Whatever will he do now?”

Jonathan sighed dramatically. “Now he has to actually talk to her?—”

“ Mateo and Colette, sitting in a tree,” Josiah sang under his breath.

“I hate you all!” I shouted, then pushed away from the table.

They were right, of course. I should’ve known better than to think I could keep something that huge from them. Colette Rothchild was stunningly gorgeous. She was definitely the kind of girl I would normally have flirted with. Actually, that was a lie. Colette was the kind of girl I would’ve been willing to date exclusively and that was a rare thing from me. Not because I had problems with fidelity or commitment, I just never wanted to risk breaking some girls’ heart when I inevitably wound up with a soulmate. Which I had, so clearly my thought process wasn’t far off. But I had been in a few committed relationships with really special women. Colette would have been one I wanted to take that risk with. She was beautiful, yes, but I liked the whole package. I’d heard my siblings talk about their experiences with her in the past. I’d heard nothing but good things. Lexington’s praise of her as an employee only made my attraction to her worse. Her sharp mind and sass was salt to the open wound.

Lexington defending her so profusely without an ounce of hesitation somehow turned my attraction into a full blown crush. An infatuation. He had been right, obviously, and I never intended to fire her for not finding my soulmate. I just didn’t know how to handle the way Colette made me feel.

It was torture and pain.

But I couldn’t let any of them know or I’d never hear the end of it.