Cast A Spell (Mages and Mates #4)

4. Thal

Thal

F ather shut the doors and only the Hollen brothers understood the significance of what had happened. Cassian, Varric, and Theron were visibly upset, but Lysandor stood beside Owen. The pair smiled like sappy fools in love. Which, if I understood things, they were.

My own heart felt like Otto had stomped on it and shattered it beyond repair. The earth magic had surged through us, but he’d cast it out before it could take hold. His rejection was a powerful blow.

I watched him closely as he did everything to avoid eye contact. At the periphery of my mind, I felt his conflict. What happened hadn’t been a shock. He was scared and angry and did not want to be my mate.

Father pinched the bridge of his nose the way he did when he struggled to make a decision. His confusion shook me to my core. Dad kept three steps ahead of every potential problem that impacted the herd. He hadn’t considered this meeting could result in two sons mating with a mage.

“A word, Otto?” Dad said.

Why would he speak to him before me? Didn’t he see Otto reject me? Before I could voice my outrage, Dad met my gaze. Surprised or not, he’d decided what to do, and I needed to let him handle things.

Otto didn’t answer. Fear dominated his thoughts, but how had I scared him?

“Otto?” Father used what we’d called his “almost alpha” voice. It didn’t command obedience, but it required you to listen.

The word released Otto from the isolation in his mind. “Yes?”

“A word. We need to address what happened, but only you can keep this conversation private.”

“I . . .” He snuck a glance at me and recoiled like he’d stared at the sun. “Understood.”

Otto slipped his mage stone from his right pocket. A faint light at the core of the gem covered his hand in a rich, red color. His brother clumsily freed his stone.

“What’s wrong?” Owen asked.

A mirthless chuckle escaped the older brother. “If you hadn’t been lost in your bond, you’d have heard the alpha ask me to seal the room.”

“Not just the room,” Dad said. “I need you to bind my sons to secrecy.”

The chorus of angry voices erupted, only to be silenced by Father’s stony expression.

“They need to agree,” Otto said. “I won’t force an oath on anyone.”

I searched Otto for some hint of defiance, but he’d spoken from the heart. He wouldn’t change who he was even for the alpha.

A hint of annoyance played across Dad’s face, but it quickly turned to resignation. “Of course. Anyone who wishes to remain and hear what’s happening needs to agree to an unbreakable oath of silence. You will not be able to discuss what you hear next with anyone other than those in the room.”

There were questions, mostly about why this was necessary, but I didn’t pay attention. I already knew most of what we’d discuss, and I damn sure intended to hear the rest. Instead, I watched Otto, who continued to avoid direct eye contact with me. He stared at the wall nearest to the table of food.

I tried to read his emotions, but I met a wall of resistance. Cut off from him made me anxious. The few seconds we’d been connected offered a glimmer of what it meant to be complete. Now, only the most basic emotions seeped through his hold.

My brothers argued with Dad, but it was mostly one-sided. “Agree or leave,” was all he said. With each new question, his impatience grew. Mine too.

“Either agree or leave,” I said. “I want answers and am tired of this bickering. Do you think Father would allow any harm to come to us? If you can’t trust him, go.”

I hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but this was a courtesy being extended to them. They were only tangentially associated with these events with no right or need to know.

“I’m in,” Lysandor said. He had the benefit of his connection to Owen, but he’d have agreed even without their link. The offer of information so important it required an unbreakable oath was too tempting.

Cassian, Varric, and Theron maintained their stubborn defiance. Of the three, Varric was the most level-headed. Cassian resented he wasn’t the eldest, and Theron had no ambition. He’d agree if one of the others did first.

“Decision time,” Dad said. “Cassian, do you agree?”

Cassian looked to the other two, but both avoided his gaze. He turned to me, and I nodded, hoping it wouldn’t have the opposite effect. He sighed and nodded. “Yes, Father, I agree.”

Varric and Theron quickly agreed, and Father moved to stand next to Otto. “We’re ready.”

The red gem flashed, but Otto never moved his head. I heard his voice, but barely listened to the words. He spoke like a being forced to do something he found distasteful. Too bad if he didn’t want the truth to come out, I needed answers.

“Thalion, do you swear?” Father asked.

“I do.” I steeled myself for the spell’s impact. Otto’s stone flared, but it had no effect on me. It also didn’t help me reconnect with him.

Father nodded and moved onto my brothers. One by one they agreed. Each concurrence was accompanied by a new burst of ruby light.

After Owen agreed, Otto hid his stone again. He heaved a breath in and out and nodded once to my father. Him knowing what Father was going to tell us irked me. Otto was a decade younger than me, but his father trusted him with far more than mine.

The first few minutes, Father recited the history of the Great Ward, how it had been under attack, and how three of four new guardian pairings had been chosen. Since I’d been told this before, I spent less time listening and more studying Otto.

Under any other circumstances, I’d have called my behavior borderline stalker. The almost mate bond changed everything. Few beings had a fated mate, but if they did, their life was never complete without their other half. Once a being met their mate, they could never find love again.

As if humans didn’t think themselves superior already, they somehow weren’t as tied to the bond as beings. Prevailing wisdom held, shifting was a facet of earth power, and we were tied more closely to the magic of fated mates.

Which meant Otto had the ability to reject the bond, but I didn’t. Fuck my life.

“Today,” Father said, “the magic chose two sets of fated mates instead of one. This is unprecedented, and I have no answer as to why.”

“There will only be one pairing,” Otto said. “I’ve rejected the call.”

His offhand rejection of not just the bond, but of me, boiled my blood. The casual way he doomed me to a loveless life was too much. “Why? Do you think you’re too good for me?”

For the first time since we touched, Otto looked at me. “Once Owen and Lysandor are confirmed as Southern Guardians, I’ll come back. If you still want me.”

“It isn’t for you to decide who will be guardian,” Father said. “The earth will choose who it wants.”

“I’ve been given the right to choose. Why else would there be two pairings? The earth knew I wouldn’t accept and selected another option.”

What a pompous ass! He talked like he had proof of what the earth wanted. “Typical mage arrogance. Yes, the earth chose you among all others and gave you alone the power to decide.”

“Since I offend you so much, be glad you are not saddled with my arrogant ass.”

His venom was a stinging slap. “You’ve no idea what you’re doing.”

“Really?” Otto said with a sneer. “There are two options for who will be the next Southern Guardians. I’m making sure which pair is chosen. I’d say I have a very good idea what I’m doing.”

“Why?” Owen asked. He’d moved away from Lysandor. “Why would you deny yourself something so amazing?”

Otto swallowed, and for a second the walls he erected to keep me out fluttered. The onslaught of emotion nearly overwhelmed me. How did he contain so much? He’d latched onto his fear and love for his brother to bludgeon his longing for me. Resignation lurked in the background, no less powerful than the others, but waiting for its time to take control.

“I have my reasons, O. I wish you a long and happy life together.”

He spun on his heel and left the room.

I started to follow, but Dad grabbed me by the arm. “Not now, Thal. Whatever inner demons he’s wrestling with will keep him out of reach.”

His demons? Dad had to see what Otto’s unilateral decision did to me. “This isn’t only his decision. I get a say, too.”

“It requires both, son. You can’t force him to agree.” He spun me around, so we were face-to-face. “Though we’ve been taught it’s possible to reject a mate bond, I’ve never seen nor heard of a being able to do it. Otto cherishes something or someone more than his own happiness. His love for whatever that is gave him the ability to push aside your bond. You can’t force him to change his mind.”

I wanted to change Otto’s heart, not his mind. We were mates. For the barest instant, I knew what it was like to be complete, and then Otto yanked it away. “If your right, then he is consigning me to a loveless life.”

“Otto isn’t rejecting you,” Owen said. “He doesn’t want to be the Southern Guardian.”

The child’s attempt to console was rock salt over an open wound. “The effect is the same.”

“No, it isn’t. Once he’s sure you two won’t be chosen, he said he’d come back to you. That’s hardly a rejection of you.”

“Owen is correct,” Dad said. “Instead of anger and resentment, you should attempt to find out the reason he refuses to be guardian. Only then will you be able to claim his heart.”

So simple. Otto wouldn’t even look at me. How was I supposed to find out anything? Hopelessness built inside and I took a deep breath to collect myself. As much as it pained me, Father and Owen were right. I needed to talk directly with Otto if I had any hope of understanding why he rejected our bond.

Finding Otto wasn’t difficult. He didn’t know the house and sat on the porch looking off at the distant mountains. I hesitated for a moment before disturbing him, but decided we needed to talk. We’d both experienced the same thing and were in this together. “Otto,” I said softly, trying to keep my emotions in check. “Can we talk, please?”

He didn’t turn to face me, but I could see his shoulders tense up at my words. “If you’re hoping to change my mind, you won’t.”

We needed to have this conversation whether he wanted to or not. “That’s not fair. What happened involves us both. Your rejection hurt me as much as you. Maybe more because you might be able to dismiss it with time. Your absence will forever leave a hole in my soul.”

Closing his eyes, his jaw quivered, and his fists clenched. “I’m sorry, but I’ve made my decision.”

Maybe so, but he didn’t like it any more than me. “Help me understand why you’d do this to yourself and me. You can’t deny we’re meant to be mates.”

Otto turned to face me. He didn’t hide his pain, but his force of will stunned me. Father said it took an incredibly strong person to deny a mate bond. Otto was that being. It should have angered me, but instead it filled me with admiration and desire.

“I know we have a true bond,” he said. “But I can’t accept it.”

Frustration simmered within me, but I pushed it down. My heart ached like I’d been left at the altar by someone who promised to love me forever. Otto’d made me no such promise. We both had these feelings thrust onto us. “Rejecting our bond will doom me to a loveless life. I think I’m owed some explanation.”

“Owen needs to be the next Southern Guardian, not me. When the new guardians take their places, you’ll understand.”

His walls buckled under his emotional turmoil. A well-placed push and they’d crumble, leaving him open for me to claim. Or at least find my answers. I toyed with forcing him open, but I knew we’d never survive such a violation of his will. “Don’t you see how unfair that is to me? Your absence will make it impossible for me to function as a well-adjusted being. I’ll have to relinquish my position as heir and struggle not to let depression overwhelm me. Is that the future you wish to consign me to?”

“I’m truly sorry.” Otto had flinched as I ticked off the different hells he’d push me into. He wore the haunted face of a being damned no matter what he chose. “You have my word, once Owen and Lysandor become the new guardians, your pain will end.”

He didn’t say it, but I heard, “one way or another,” added to his sentence. I wanted to rage and demand he accept our bond, but it’d be pointless. Not only did Otto believe his words, but he wasn’t doing this for himself. I didn’t like it, but what choice did I have.

“I don’t share your confidence, but I won’t press you any further.”

The tension in his body relaxed and for a moment his walls flickered enough for me to see the emotions he held back. Whatever his reasons, rejecting our bond hurt him as much as me. But determination acted like a blanket to stifle the fire of his personal need. In the swirling tempest raging inside him, Otto had more than a desire to give this honor to his brother. His promise my pain would end was real, but he’d hidden how he knew this with such certainty.

Whatever secret he kept held the key to getting him to accept our bond. I’d find a way to learn what he’d concealed.