Catch Yourself a Snowmance (Have Yourself a Merry Little #2)

12. Alyssa

Chapter 12

Alyssa

"At Christmas, you tell the truth." - Love Actually

“ I should have woken Carson up. Shouldn’t I? … Or maybe not. I mean, after he said those things to Liam …”

I’m blabbering to my friends about Carson on the drive from North Carolina back into Tennessee. We’re heading to my house, which apparently now has a hole in the roof.

“I think you did the right thing,” Stephanie says.

Her Kindle is tucked away, since my romantic mayhem is far more engaging than whatever she’s been reading.

“Yeah,” Tori says. “Let him come for you. If he’s interested, he’ll show up.”

“I think he’s interested,” Noelle says from her shotgun seat next to Jennifer.

“He sure seemed interested all weekend,” Jennifer says, glancing back at me in the rearview. “He was like this cute little puppy, looking around for you whenever the two of you weren’t together. It was far from subtle.” She pauses. “Yeah. He likes you.”

“I know he likes me. We spent a lot of time talking … and flirting. But was it one of those, I like her and now we’ve kissed, so I’m good ? Or was it more like, I like her and I hope this builds into more ?” I groan. “You see this? This is why I don’t date. Life is simpler without a man in it. I never spin out about how any of you feel about me.”

“Because we love you,” Stephanie says.

“Life is better with the right man,” Noelle says. She turns so she’s looking right at me from the front passenger seat. “Do you want my straight opinion?”

“You tell me? Do I want it?”

She smiles warmly. “You do. Falling for someone, or liking them, or starting to date … it’s all risky. We’re putting ourselves out there when we do. And that’s like setting your head on the chopping block hoping no one has a blade in hand. Each time we extend our emotions like that, we risk rejection. It’s far safer to stay out of the scene. But in the long run, if we’re going to find love—romantic love—we’re going to have to take some risks.”

Tori chimes in, “It’s the old You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince analogy.”

Noelle shakes her head. “Not necessarily. I never kissed a frog.”

“You had a hand-selected elf, who turned out to be amazing. He just showed up on your doorstep, thanks to us. That’s totally different.” I say.

“And you had a man you thought was the missing link come on a ski trip with you,” Noelle counters. “Maybe he’s no frog either. All I’m saying is, you’re going to have to take a risk if you want to see if something can develop with him. ”

“And also, let him come for you,” Tori adds. “There’s no need for you to jump out there and declare your feelings for him. Any man who’s interested can come around and let you know he’s into you. If he doesn’t do that when he’s pursuing you, he’s for sure not going to do that if and when things get serious.”

“Agreed,” Stephanie says. “Let him come to you.”

“I second that,” Jennifer says. “Or … third. I third that.”

Noelle smiles at me. “Trust me, he’s coming.”

Her phone chimes. She looks down at it.

When she looks up, she’s smiling right at me. “Well, well, well. I think we have our answer.”

I smile at her. It can’t be bad the way she’s beaming from ear to ear.

“Liam just texted. They’re leaving the mountain right now. The cabin’s empty and locked up and the key’s been turned in. And …” She wags her eyebrows, and grins widely. “Carson asked Liam for your number. Can I give it?”

“Yes!” Tori shouts. “Give him her number!”

I nod at Noelle. She turns back around in her seat and types into her phone.

Less than a minute later, my phone pings with a text.

“Is it him?” Stephanie asks.

“It’s him.” I say, opening the message.

“What does it say? What does it say?” Jennifer asks.

I read the message out loud to my friends. “Hey, Alyssa. It’s Carson. I got your number from Liam. We’re on our way down the mountain. If it’s okay, I thought I’d come over to look at the damage with him. And if you need anything, let me know. I’m here for you.”

“Told you!” Jennifer practically squeals. “Oooh. He’s so sweet!”

I smile at Noelle who has turned in her seat again .

“Write back!” Tori says.

“What should I say?” I ask them.

I can compose my own text messages, obviously. But this is a group effort at this point. I’m the one who brought them into the middle of my overthinking paranoia. I may as well get their input now that it seems I was totally off base.

“Say something about how thoughtful it is for him to offer, and tell him it’s fine if he wants to come over. Nothing too eager, but nothing too evasive.”

“Gah. Seriously?” I stare at my phone. “Why is this suddenly hard? We talked so easily all week. Everything flowed so effortlessly.”

“Just say whatever’s on your heart or mind,” Noelle says softly. “Don’t try to figure out what he’s thinking or feeling. You’ll drive yourself nuts. He likes you. He just offered to come by to help. Be yourself. Get out of your head. Enjoy the fact that a man you like is offering to step up when you’re in need.”

I nod at her. “You’re right.”

I type a response to Carson.

Alyssa : That’s really thoughtful. I’d love if you stopped by if you don’t have other plans. Sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. You were sleeping and we hadn’t really talked about what happens next. I thought we’d talk today.

Carson : Me too. I had a big talk planned out and then I woke to a testosterone-fest in the kitchen. I’m so sorry about your house.

Alyssa : Thanks. I have insurance. It will be a hassle, I’m sure, but it’s not the end of the world .

Carson : Great attitude, as usual. So, I’ll see you when we’re back in Waterford.

Alyssa : I’m looking forward to it.

Carson : Me too. Totally looking forward to it. I have some things I want to say in person .

Alyssa : Sounds ominous.

Carson : It’s totally not. Basically it’s just that I want to see you more after we’re home.

Alyssa : You do?

Carson : Very mush.

Alyssa : Very mush here too.

Carson : Mush. I meant much .

Alyssa : I know. It made me laugh.

Carson : So you very mush want to see me too?

Alyssa : Yep. I do.

I look up. The whole car is silent. Everyone’s staring at me.

Alyssa : I thought you might be having second thoughts .

May as well lay it all out there, like Noelle said.

My phone rings. It’s Carson. I answer it.

“Why would you think that? Did I do something to make you think I wasn’t all in?”

The sound of his voice sets all my fears to rest. He’s honestly concerned.

“I overheard a smidge of your conversation with Liam last night and I thought you were telling him how committed you were to your permanent bachelor status. It sounded like you were reconsidering giving that up. I was going to ask you about everything today.”

“Oh, man. Not at all.” His voice is warm and assuring. “I’m trying to picture what part of the conversation you could have heard that would have led you to think I wasn’t totally into you. But it doesn’t matter. That’s the opposite of what I was saying. I was telling Liam how dedicated I had been to my bachelor status before I met you, but now I’m totally not.”

I feel the smile break across my face, stretching my cheeks. I don’t dare look up at my friends right now.

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” I tell Carson. “I was just coming in to get water before bed.”

“I’m sorry you had to question anything. It’s at least partly my fault for being so vague on our walk. I was just blown away and sort of blissed out after our kiss. I was just taking in the moment and enjoying the time with you out in the silence of the woods. When we hit the porch, it struck me that we hadn’t really talked about what to say to our friends. I should have been more clear.”

“Blissed out, huh?” The rest of what he said matters—a lot. But mostly I got hooked on those two words: blissed out .

“Mm hmm.” His voice is low and intimate, even through the phone.

We sit there, still on the call, both of us silent.

“I really like you, Alyssa. I didn’t expect you, like I said. And I’d like to see you when we’re back in Waterford. Not just once. I’d like to start seeing you—to give this a chance to explore where things might lead between us. That is, if you want that too.”

I don’t know why I feel suddenly shy.

“I would like that—a lot.”

“Good. That’s the best news I’ve had in a while.”

I smile and finally look around the car. Everyone’s smiling. I look down again, grateful for my friends, but also wishing I could find somewhere alone to finish this conversation. Instead, I’m in the second row of an SUV with all eyes on me.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you in a bit,” I say.

“Looking forward to it,” Carson says.

“Me too,” I admit.

My stomach feels fluttery, like I’m in high school all over again and the boy I had a crush on asked me to prom. I’m nearing thirty. I didn’t know I could feel this way again, ever. And at my age, it’s so much more. I know what I like and don’t. If a man isn’t worth my time, I eliminate him as an option pretty quickly. The fact that Carson and I spent so many hours together and I want to see him more—a whole lot more—speaks volumes.

“So?” Tori says.

“Tell us,” Jennifer adds.

“He’s coming by with Liam.”

“Awww,” Stephanie says. “That’s sweet.”

“And he wants to see me.” I try to hide my smile, but I can’t. “Like to start seeing one another.”

“Oooooh!” Jennifer says. “I love this!”

“Don’t get too excited,” I warn her. “If this doesn’t work out …” I stop myself. “You know what? Go ahead. Get excited.” I turn to Noelle. “And you can be hopeful. I’ve got a good feeling about Carson and me. A really good feeling.”