Challenging Ryker (Kringle Security #2)

Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

"Sweetheart, wake up."

The whimpers started a few minutes ago. Ryker tried to pull her close but she was fighting him. Maybe not him specifically. It was more likely she was fighting whoever was hurting her in her dream, but right now his body was taking the abuse.

His very, very sore body.

He probably should've listened to the doctor and spent another night in the hospital but seeing the tired circles under Amelia's eyes had made the decision for him.

"Amelia, wake up ," he said with more force.

Her eyes immediately popped open as she tossed her body forward until she was in a sitting position. The haunted look only further ticked him off. He wanted to banish her demons, to fight them for her so she never had to worry about them again. But in order for him to do that, he needed her to open up to him.

They had gone to bed barely speaking. A huge part of that was his fault. He hated to have limitations forced upon him, to know that he couldn't be the one to take care of her if something were to happen. When Luke mentioned one of his friends would be sitting on his house, he had been tempted to tell Luke it wasn't needed.

It was though.

He would fight until his dying breath to keep Amelia safe, but in his current condition, he was more of a liability.

"Ryker?" she asked, squinting.

"Yeah, sweetheart. It's me." He kept his hands to himself even though his fingers itched to touch her, to provide her comfort. She had fought him off, and until she made the first move, he wasn't about to put his hands on her. "You were having a bad dream."

"More like a nightmare." She fell back down and scrubbed her hands over her face. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Don't you dare apologize." He was proud that the words didn't come out as harsh as he felt. The fact that she felt the need to apologize for something she couldn't control was infuriating. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Amelia didn't immediately answer, which felt like hours. If it weren't for her erratic breathing, he would've assumed she fell back asleep.

By the time she finally did answer him, he’d almost given up hope of ever getting her to talk.

"I first met Gavin at a coffee shop I would frequent most mornings. I must've seen him a dozen times before he finally worked up the nerve to talk to me. I thought it was sweet, he was shy. That it took him time to memorize my favorite drink and make little comments. He didn't flat-out ask me on a date. He didn't give me some cheesy line so I would notice him."

Ryker tensed in the dark. A cheesy line was exactly what he had said to Amelia the first time he met her. He was thankful that the glow of the moon was the only light in the room. It meant his features were hidden in the shadows.

"He was genuine, or so I thought. My parents sheltered me my whole life. I wasn't a virgin when I met Gavin but I wouldn't say I was experienced either. I never had a ton of boyfriends but I wanted a love like my parents’. Old-fashioned. My father doted on my mother, and in return, my mother enjoyed taking care of my father. Gavin made me think I found that with him, so when he asked me to move in so soon, I was thrilled. My parents tried to warn me but I brushed it off as them wanting to control me. I started talking to them less and less because they didn't get along with him. It took me a while to realize he was isolating me."

Anger pumped through his veins. Gavin knew exactly what he was doing. The steps were textbook. A damn checklist and Amelia hadn't seen it coming.

"The first few months were good. Slowly I let Gavin take care of me more and more. I worked, but put my paycheck into a joint account. He convinced me it was the right step since it wouldn't be long before we got engaged. I didn't notice the change at first. It was small things. Not letting me hang out with my friends without making me feel guilty. Taking me away every weekend on little trips. Commenting on what I wore and how I should look. The first red flag was actually the sex. I used to love to read romance novels. The steamy kinds were the males took charge in the bedroom but were absolute mush for the women they loved. Gavin asked me one day if that was the kind of guy that I liked. I laughed it off but then he started getting aggressive in bed. Told me if I liked to read about it, then I must like the real thing. It made me uncomfortable at first but I just thought it was because it was something new."

Amelia's features weren't as hidden as his were. A strip of moonlight passed over her face and he could see the lone tear travel down her cheek. He used his thumb to brush it away.

"You don't have to continue if it hurts too much."

"I want to get this out," she hiccupped. "I think I need to."

Ryker waited in silence as she regained her composure. He didn't dare rush her. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear any more. Knowing Amelia had sex with other men made him cagey, but hearing what Gavin did to her was worse. No wonder she wanted to replace the memories with better ones.

"It started with something simple like a blindfold and tying my hands with the tie of my robe. All the books I read talk about the pleasure that comes with the pain, but the more things Gavin tried, the more it hurt. There was never any pleasure. Just a lot of pain. And all he did was get off on the more he inflicted."

He couldn't take any more. "Please, sweetheart. Can I hold you?"

Ryker scooped her into his arms as soon as she gave him a teary nod. She was breaking the damn heart he didn't even realize he still had. Most of the time he was able to forget the organ existed but right now it was beating wildly in defense of what Amelia was forced to go through.

"Those books weren't wrong. Gavin was. It's not about someone getting off on the person's pain. That lifestyle is about trust and control. It's about aftercare and giving your partner what they need. What Gavin did was take. Over and over again."

He brushed his lips across her hair.

"What made you finally leave?"

Her hot breath sent shivers along his naked chest and reminded him of his state of undress. Thankfully Amelia didn't seem to notice.

"I knew something was wrong, but by the time I had the courage to leave, Gavin had stripped me of everything. I had to ask HR to switch me to paper checks so they stopped getting deposited to our joint account. I knew my yearly bonus was coming up, so I waited until I had that plus my paycheck. I left for work one day and never went home. I found the first apartment that would accept cash as payment. I refused to use credit cards. I took the bus places and did everything I could not to draw attention to myself. The only people that knew where I lived were at work."

Ryker made a note to tell Caden to look into her place of employment. He knew Monica would never divulge information like that to a stranger, but if Gavin was half as good as Amelia made him sound, it wouldn't take much to sweet-talk someone in HR to give up the information.

They sat in silence, Amelia with her head on his chest and him rubbing his fingers along her arms. He wasn't good at these things. Comforting people wasn't one of his many talents. Because of his own trauma, he tended to avoid others and their trauma. He didn't have it in him to give someone else what they needed. It was why he knew he would never be in any kind of serious relationship. Not only didn't he deserve it, but he wouldn't be able to be an equal partner. Just like Gavin, he would simply take.

"Do you think you're ready to go back to sleep now?"

Amelia didn't hesitate to answer. "I would rather do something to help replace the awful dream I had."

The loud clang of a gong went off in his head.

Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask.

Of course, his damn mouth didn't listen to his head. "What was the dream?"

"It wasn't so much a dream as it was me reliving one of the many horrible sexual experiences I had with him. Slowly, over time, he took away my control and made me hate myself. Especially the way I feel about my body when it comes to a man. I want that control back. I want to feel empowered again. I want you to keep helping me find myself, like you did the first night we were together."

Abort. Abort. Abort.

This was the moment he should've gotten the hell out of Dodge. Instead, he had to go and open his mouth. Again.

"I would love to help you. Especially seeing as how you fell apart on my tongue. Seriously, one of the top five hottest things I've ever seen in my life, but I need to be honest with you first. I don't do relationships." He wished more than anything he could see her face better. If he thought he could get away with turning on the lamp, he would've, but he figured that would be too much for her. "That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with my past. I have demons that I'll never get over. I've accepted that and come to terms with it. I can give you fun. I can give you orgasms. I can make sure you know just how sexy you are. What I can't give you is more than that."

The words I'm sorry stuck in his throat. If there was anyone he would want to change for, it would be Amelia. But he couldn't do it. She deserved for him to suffer after what he did and not even Amelia could be the reason he went back on that.

Amelia snorted and it was the cutest sound. "Then it's a good thing I don't want more than that. I'm not looking for a relationship, Ryker. I'm looking for an orgasm. I'm looking to feel like my old self again. I'm looking to feel great about sex again. Think of it as us using each other. We both get off with the added benefit of not being tied down."

Why did those words bother him so much? It was exactly what he preferred women to say when he told them what he was looking for. Amelia's answer should've made him happy, but for some reason, it caused a tightness in his chest.

Ryker quickly pushed the feeling away.

"Then I guess a few orgasms are in your immediate future." He smirked even though she couldn't see him. It was probably for the best because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that his smile was forced.

"Maybe you've forgotten, but the doctor said no strenuous activities."

"It's a good thing I don't plan on doing any of the work, then." He flopped onto his back. "Strip, sweetheart. Then get that sexy ass up here and sit on my face."

"Ryker!" His name was practically a screech. "I can't sit on your face!"

"And why the hell not?"

Was she kidding? Not only could she absolutely sit on his face, it was one of the many fantasies he had of her.

"I don't know," she fumbled out. "I just can't!"

"Taking back control, sweetheart. What better way than to sit on my face, and then on my cock. You get to be in control and I get to follow the doctor's orders about not doing anything too strenuous."

He knew he was pushing her limits. She knew it too, but this was the best way. Sure, he could've found a way to make her feel good that would've left him with the control, but that wasn't what this was about. She had told him what she needed and he would be damned if he didn't give it to her.

"I've never done this ..." While her voice shook, he watched as she stripped off her borrowed shirt and tossed it away. Next to go were her panties. The woman might have some insecurities when it came to her body but there was no reason for it. She was perfection and he wasn't afraid to tell her as much.

"So damn beautiful. Now get that ass up here. It's been a long day and I'm hungry."

He couldn't be sure, but he thought the sexiest pink tinted the apple of her cheeks. Damn the moonlight for not allowing him to see enough of her. Next time he needed to make sure he got her naked in the daylight. A body like that deserved to be flaunted.

She tossed her leg over him until she was straddling his waist; a place he wanted her, but not right that second.

"Come on up, sweetheart."

She shimmied her way up but stopped around his neck area. It didn't take a genius to figure out she was embarrassed, but he was determined to banish that embarrassment.

"Might want to grab the headboard, sweetheart."

He didn't give her the chance to think about what he said too much before he grabbed her ass with both of his hands and tugged her forward.

"Ryker!" she yelped. "I don't want to suffocate you! Are you sure this is what you want?"

Jesus Christ. She was holding on to the headboard, as instructed, but wasn't sitting on his face like he wanted. That was going to change.

"If I had my way, I would eat you for breakfast, lunch, and dinner," he growled. "Now sit on my fucking face, Amelia."

Amelia's body finally gave out. She dropped her sexy pussy right onto his lips and he wasted no time showing her how much he appreciated her listening.

"Good fucking girl."

He licked, sucked, and ate like the starved man he was. He held her luscious ass in his hands and encouraged her to ride his face until her juices were dripping down his chin.

"Oh, God ... I don't think I can take much more …"

She could. He wasn't even fully edging her. He wanted to build her up so she was so lost in the ecstasy of it that she got out of her head and enjoyed everything he did to her.

He knew she was at that point when she tugged his hair so there was no gap between her delicious core and his face. So he pushed her to her limit. He used every moan and whimper to figure out what she liked and did more of that until she was coming completely apart on top of him.

Ryker tongue-fucked her through her orgasm until she was nothing but a puddle of goo in his hands. Then he lifted her up and settled her back down on his waist. Reaching into the nightstand, he grabbed a condom and had it slipped over his rock-hard dick in record time.

"You ready for me?"

She gave him a hazy nod but he wanted more.

"I need the words on this one." There wasn't a chance in hell he wouldn’t have her consent the first time he got inside her.

"Please, fuck me."

"Such a dirty mouth for a good girl." He picked her up and impaled her on his cock. He couldn't be sure if the flutter of her walls was an aftershock of her first orgasm, or if her body was just as affected as his. It took biting down on the side of his cheek to keep from shooting off like a teenager who got his first look at tits. "I need you to move, sweetheart."

Amelia did as she was told although her movements were choppy at first. He gave her time to find her rhythm without his assistance. He wanted her to do what felt right for her.

"Does this feel good?" she asked with the sweetest smile.

Was she serious right now?

"Sweetheart, your tight cunt is hugging my cock like it never wants to let go. Of course, it feels good. The only thing that could make it better was if you arched your back so I could watch those perfect tits bounce as you ride me."

She did as he suggested and that was it. Things turned into a race to make sure she got off one more time before he did.

"I need you to give me one more."

His hand swiped through her juices and toyed with her clit. Once he felt the familiar flutter of her walls, he knew she was close. With one hand between her legs and the other rolling her nipple between his fingers, he watched her head fall back in a silent scream just seconds before her climax took over. He followed behind and the two of them vibrated together.

It was in that moment that he should've realized he was done for, but like every stubborn man before him, he continued to fight it.