Challenging Ryker (Kringle Security #2)

Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It took two full days of staying home together for Amelia to fully relax. Sure, she was relaxed when he crawled between her legs, or when he was giving her multiple orgasms, despite doctor's orders.

In Ryker’s mind, orgasms were a way for him to relax, therefore he was limiting strenuous activities. It was a flawed logic but the one he was going with if anyone questioned him.

Right now they were sitting together on the couch watching a movie and it dawned on him how much the moment felt “relationshipy.” He didn't think that was a word but he was going with it anyway.

"The movie's a comedy, Ryker. You're supposed to be laughing, not scowling at the screen."

He was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't been paying attention to the movie. Not for a while now. He couldn't even tell Amelia what it was about if she asked.

"Sorry, I was thinking about work and what's going on."

Lie!

He couldn't exactly admit that what was happening between them was freaking him out. The level of comfort they shared was so far out of his depth that he didn't know how to get himself back to normal ground. Ryker didn't want to hurt Amelia, but he didn't want to lead her on either.

He thought that living together and spending all their time together was doing just that.

Amelia extricated herself from where she was settled under his arm and shimmied around until she was sitting sideways on the couch with her legs crossed and toes tucked under each of her legs.

"Talk it out with me."

He dropped his arm into his lap and turned on the couch so he was facing her head-on.

"What?"

The roll of her eyes at his dense question made him want to laugh. She was good at that; putting him at ease by relaxing around him.

"If you're going to be thinking so hard about work, then talk it out with me. Maybe I can help."

And that right there was why he didn't lie. Now he had to scramble to figure out a work topic that he could've possibly been thinking about.

Way to go, me.

Then it hit him. Maybe he could get her to tell him more about Gavin.

"Gavin," he blurted out before he could stop and think of all the ways that particular subject was a bad idea.

Shame washed over him when Amelia went from carefree and teasing to guarded in a nanosecond. He physically watched as the walls went up around her. Ryker wanted to punch each and every one of them down, to eviscerate them so Amelia was never forced to hide behind them again. It made no sense. He should be happy she was putting distance between them, but instead, it pissed him off.

"What about him?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"But you did."

Amelia wrapped her arms around herself as if she was physically trying to hold herself together, which made him feel like even more of an asshole. He was using the one person she couldn't stand to cover up for the fact that he was too much of a pussy to tell her what he had really been thinking about. If he were smart, he would come clean, but his mouth had other ideas in mind.

"I want to know everything he did to you so I can make him pay when I find him."

And so I can avoid making the same mistakes.

That thought came out of nowhere and was highly inappropriate considering he didn’t want a relationship.

"I told you about how we met and the ways he changed the longer we dated. There were so many red flags that I missed, and not the ones you read about in books that are actually sexy. One of the biggest ones I missed was the way he would show up out of the blue to surprise me. Again, I thought it was sweet at first. Lunch at work, at the coffee shop we met. Then it got to be too much. I would go somewhere on my lunch break and he would be there, even though I hadn't told him where I was going. The first two times I chalked it up to coincidence but deep down I knew something wasn't right."

Ryker did his best to push down the anger that threatened to strangle him. That’s what he got for asking about the man. Now he was forced to sit there and listen to Amelia describe her relationship in great detail. He thought he was ready, but he would quickly realize nothing prepared him for what Amelia told him.

"Come to find out he put a tracking app on my phone so that he knew where I was at all times. He did it one of the nights he had me tied down to the bed. He laughed about how gullible I was and didn't even realize how much control he had. It was the first night I told him no to sex."

That anger was now an all-consuming ball of fury and it was sitting heavy in his stomach. He knew even before she said the words how that night played out.

"He told me I was just playing hard to get and I always liked what he did to me. He didn't care that I was crying when he entered me, or that I was as dry as the desert, so it hurt. It was the first time I truly realized what kind of monster I let into my life."

Tears spilled down her cheeks. He was tempted to pull her close but she was giving off vibes that she didn't want to be touched, so he stayed where he was. Even though it killed him. He only allowed one finger to brush away the drops.

"I cried in the shower that night while he slept like a baby in bed. He didn't even have the decency to apologize in the morning, like most men did, to try and earn my trust back. By that point, he had full control of me and he knew it. I had no one and no means to escape. I think he fed off that because things only got worse from there on out. Until I realized that showing no emotion pissed him off."

"Did he hit you when he got mad?"

Not that it mattered. Gavin had done enough damage and the torture he was going to inflict on the man was going to last hours, if not days. But he wanted to know how bad that torture needed to be.

"That was one thing he never resorted to. When he got mad, he stormed away like a toddler in the middle of a tantrum but he never raised a hand to me. He much preferred to find ways to sexually inflict pain. I think he was smart enough not to leave bruises that couldn't be blamed on sex games."

That was something at least. Not great, but it was better than some of the things his mind conjured up those first few hours she sat in the hospital bed after he found her.

"Would it be okay if I held you?"

He wasn't about to take anything for granted. Gavin had done too much of that already and if he couldn't give her anything else, then he wanted to give her the power to feel comfortable telling him no to something.

"I would really like that."

Ryker pulled her so that she was resting under his arm with her head on his chest. He shimmied them a little more until they were both lying horizontal on the couch.

It occurred to him that he liked the feel of her in his arms just a little too much.

It was several moments of silence, with only the sounds of their breathing and the muted TV flashing in the background, before Amelia spoke again.

"I don't want you to torture him."

His body's first instinct was to lock up. He had to forcefully relax every muscle and continue to trace his fingers up and down her arm to keep himself grounded.

"How come?"

At first, he expected her not to answer. After everything Gavin put her through, he would've thought she would support his decision to torture the man. But then he thought more about who she was as a person and he had a good idea of what she would say before it left her mouth.

"I don't want that on my conscience."

Yup, that was exactly what he figured she would say.

Amelia wasn't like him or his friends. She hadn't seen what humans could do to other humans and he was thankful for that. He wouldn't wish some of the things he saw during the war on even his worst enemy.

"You're too good for this world."

She pushed up so that her chin was resting on her hand as it lay flat on his chest. He had to tuck his chin to keep eye contact.

"What do you mean?"

"Most people would've become jaded after what you went through but not you. Not only did you survive but you aren't looking for revenge. You simply want to move on."

She looked to be thinking about what he said.

"That's not completely true." When he cocked his eyebrow, she continued. "I want him caught so that he can't hurt anyone else. I just don't want it to be you who does it."

That surprised him.

"You know I was a cop before we started this company, right?"

He never hid who he was; not what he did in the Army and not what he did when he got out. He was proud of his service even if it got to be too much that starting a company with his friends seemed like a better choice.

"I know that. But can you put your feelings aside when it comes to Gavin?"

Fuck no. He didn't even have to think about it—give him three minutes with the guy and he would have him wishing he was dead.

Then it dawned on him. That was exactly the point Amelia was trying to make.

Damn it.

"Point taken."

"Promise me it won't be you."

He couldn't make that promise. There was no telling how things would play out in the future and he didn't make a habit of lying.

Hypocrite. You just lied to her.

He pushed his conscience down and focused on the moment.

"I promise to try. That's the best I can give you without knowing what the future holds."

"Thank you." She leaned up slightly and brushed her lips across the stubble on his jaw. He had gotten lazy the last few days and hadn't shaved.

Suddenly an uncertainty showed brightly in Amelia's eyes and he wondered what caused it. He didn't have to wait long for her to tell him.

"Make love to me."

Love.

That one word scared him more than anything because he was pretty sure that was exactly what was happening, even though it wasn't supposed to.