Challenging Ryker (Kringle Security #2)

Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Amelia didn't stay at the house like he wanted. His woman wouldn’t know the meaning of staying away from work, but that was okay. He was riding off the high that she agreed to wear one of Tex's trackers. He would be able to breathe easier knowing that she would be safe every time she left the house.

In the meantime, Austin and Dom would be at the office watching both her and Monica.

"What's with the goofy smile on your face?" Nash bumped his shoulder as they walked along the small strip mall. It was the kind of place that held a variety of stores. Some parts of the mall required them to walk outside while others clumped the storefronts inside a small building. Right now they were in the small-building part that held the jewelry store he wanted to visit. "I thought for sure you would be pissed after being forced to tell Amelia about Sarah."

Hearing his twin sister's name didn't instantly put him in a bad mood like it used to. There was still the lingering feeling of guilt that it was his fault but not nearly as much as it used to be.

It was progress and he would continue to make some with Amelia by his side.

"Telling Amelia about her was cathartic. I'm not saying twenty years of guilt vanished in an instant, but maybe she was what I needed to finally heal."

Sarah would've been proud of his revelation, and he liked to think she would've loved Amelia. They both had a strength that was unmatched. His sister had to in order to deal with him. He never made life easy growing up. Amelia had it because of what life threw at her. She was forced to adapt in order to survive. He understood that.

"I'm proud of you, brother. We've waited a long time to see you finally face that part of your life. It was hard watching you beat yourself up over the years."

He had been so caught up in his own grief that he hadn't seen how it affected his friends.

"I owe you all an apology," Ryker said quietly.

The argument with Luke right before things went to shit replayed in his mind. He had been a dick to his friend when all they ever did was look out for him; those drunken years when he should've been kicked out of the Army, but instead, his friends covered for him. All the times one of them flew to see him in New York only to get yelled at because the grief was all-consuming.

He had so many years to make up for.

"No, you don't." Nash clapped him on the back. "It was once a year and we knew what we were getting into." He gave his friend a look. "Okay, maybe not that first year," Nash laughed. "You were so drunk, and when you said ‘Sarah,’ we thought you were crying over some one-night stand. We were ready to leave your ass. Then you told us the story right before you fell face-first into a puddle of your own puke and we made a promise to each other that we would always be there for you, no matter what."

"And you guys stuck to that promise," he answered honestly as he opened the door to the jewelry store. Allowing Nash to walk in ahead of him.

They were better friends to him than he deserved. He couldn't figure out why, so he asked.

"It's simple" Nash shrugged. "That's what friends do. Besides, it wasn't like you were an asshole the rest of the year. You take class clown to a whole new level. But once a year you would allow yourself to feel the hurt, then the next day you boxed it back up and were right back to your fun self. We figured it didn't hurt to give you that one day a year. We were wrong though. We should've made you confront your demons sooner."

No, they had done the right thing. He wasn't ready before now. He couldn't even be sure he was ready now but he was willing to give it a try. For Amelia. She was the reason he was willing to try and be a better man.

But Nash was wrong about one thing. Ryker didn't box it back up for an entire year. He shoved it away until he was alone. It was only then that he let himself analyze all the ways he messed up with Sarah. Countless nights he beat himself up when no one was around to see it because then they would force him to confront his emotions.

"You weren't wrong," he told his friend as they walked into the jewelry store.

A sales lady attempted to engage them in conversation but he waved her off. He had a piece in mind and wasn't in the mood to be shown a million different things.

It wasn't until he got to the last glass case that he found exactly what he was looking for. Two delicate pieces of a puzzle on a thin gold chain. Each with its own broken heart inside. It matched them perfectly.

Two broken people coming together perfectly to make one beautiful story.

He told the saleslady what he wanted and watched as she rung up his sale.

It wasn't until they were back in Nash's vehicle that his friend spoke again.

"So now that you're on the road to recovery, does that include talking to your parents about what happened?"

"Road to recovery?" Ryker turned to look at his friend. "I didn't realize I was an addict."

"Okay, so maybe not my best choice of words, but you know what I mean."

Yeah, he did. His mother had made attempts over the years, but he couldn't remember the last time he spoke to his father. His parents were still married, but from the little he gathered from the conversations with his mother, it wasn't the same after Sarah died. His father shut down and his mother tried her best to keep the family together with no such luck. They were all existing but none of them were truly living. Sarah would be so disappointed.

"I owe it to my mother to talk to her after she came out to check on me. I didn't exactly give her the warm welcome she deserved."

He felt bad about that too but Caden had sprung it on him with no chance to build up the walls he usually needed before talking to his mother. Add in the fact that he was in the hospital, the one place he hated, and needless to say, he wasn't all that nice.

"I believe she's still in town."

That got his attention. Why the hell would his mother stay after the things he said to her? He certainly wasn't proud of his behavior and knew that once the shit with Gavin was dealt with, he would need to speak to her.

"How do you know that?"

Nash looked uncomfortable. It put him on edge and a million different scenarios raced through his head at once. None of which were good.

"We've kept in touch with her over the years," Nash finally admitted.

"What do you mean we ?"

Ryker was pretty sure he knew who his friend meant but he needed to hear him say it.

"All of us. We reached out a few days after that first night on the base to express our condolences. Your mother explained you were harboring guilt and left home right after graduation. She was worried about you and asked that we kept an eye on you. Over the years, we've made sure to keep her updated on you."

Damn.

He dropped his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. He felt even more like a shitty son now. No wonder his mother let him go so long between calls. She had other people feeding her information. He didn't know if he should be pissed or grateful they cared so much about him.

Grateful won out. Of course, it did. They showed him over and over again what good friends they were and how did he repay them?

" Definitely owe you all an apology or two. Maybe a four-course meal?"

That made Nash laugh.

"I wouldn't turn down a free meal, but in all seriousness, you don't owe us anything. That's what friends do, and at some point, it will be paid back. It's only a matter of time."

Nash was right. He would pay it back in some way. He and Luke were only the first of them to fall, and the rest of his friends would as well. He would be there for each and every one of them.

Maybe not Jayce. That man's demons when it came to women were the only ones to rival his own.