Charming the Elusive Earl (Charmed By Chance #2)

Chapter 8

8

F or the second time in her life, Jane found herself trembling with a sensation she couldn’t define as she entered the crowded ballroom.

It was either nerves or excitement, or perhaps a combination of both.

Which was silly, really. Marlin hadn’t attended a single ball since this entire year. Tonight would be no exception, so there was nothing to be worried about.

The ballroom was already packed when she arrived with her aunt, and it was a relief to them both, no doubt, when they found themselves in the far corner beside a table full of wallflowers.

The knot of dread that always filled her chest when she entered any crowded event eased ever so slightly at the sight of her friends.

“I suppose you’ll be all right from here?” Her aunt didn’t expect an answer. She was already turning away, seeking out her friends.

Her aunt wasn’t what anyone would call the motherly sort. She’d never tried to hide her resentment that she’d been saddled with Jane at such a young age when she ought to have been off creating a family of her own.

“I’ll be fine,” Jane said.

But her voice was too quiet for this crush, and her aunt was already long gone.

She turned to her friends, delighted to see that Meg was still with them. Her duke would come along and claim her soon enough, but Meg seemed determined to maintain her position as a wallflower despite the fact that she’d soon be a duchess…

And a popular one at that.

Trust me , Meg said the last time they’d pointed out that she no longer needed to keep them company in the corner. I’ll always know who my real friends are.

Meg was loyal through and through, and she wouldn’t toss them aside for the crowd who’d only ever laughed at her behind her back…before Carver’s smitten attention had forced them to view her in a new light.

“Have you seen him yet?” Felicity wasted no time with pleasantries. Jane had only just sat when her bubbly friend leaned over to interrogate her.

Jane shook her head. “And I don’t expect to.”

Ann nodded knowingly. “It’s not a scheduled rendezvous, after all.”

“Heaven forbid,” Meg added in a wry tone.

Jane couldn’t help but smile at their teasing of the stern Earl. She couldn’t express how much she appreciated that they joked about him the way they did.

Oh, he’d be scandalized if he found out that a group of insignificant wallflowers dared to speak of him in such a way, but for Jane, it helped to humanize her fiancé.

He’d seemed terrifyingly large and formidable in her mind’s eye before, and now after the way she’d behaved, and the way he’d glared at her, and the way he’d kissed her…

Her cheeks felt warm as she dipped her head and stared down at the tablecloth.

The girls were talking amongst themselves now—Ann was telling them the latest plans for her sister’s wedding, and Meg filled them in on her dinner with Carver’s family the night before.

And it all gave Jane time to settle into her silence, to relax now that it was clear that her assumptions were correct.

The Earl of Marlin was not here. As usual. Which meant she had a little more time to prepare what she’d say, and how she’d phrase it?—

“Look, there he is!” Felicity spoke up over the other two, interrupting their quiet conversation.

“What? Who?” Meg asked, but Jane already knew.

There was a sinking sensation in her stomach, and that dreadful knot lodged itself behind her ribcage as her heart skipped and raced.

Of course he’d come. Yes, of course he had.

If her fiancé had a knack for anything, it was being absent when she’d wished to see him and arriving in her life at the very moment she hoped to never see him again.

He was contrary in that way, and it was difficult to believe he wasn’t doing this on purpose.

She clutched the edge of the table, unwilling to turn and look to confirm her suspicions.

But she didn’t have to, because a second later, Ann murmured his name. “Lord Marlin.”

“He’s here,” Meg added, sounding just as shocked.

Nay, awed.

Jane flinched. She couldn’t blame them. He had that effect on people. Especially on her. He was an intimidating man, both in his looks and demeanor.

She clasped her hands together in an attempt to cease her shaking. He was formidable in the extreme…

And she was going to defy him.

No, she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

Yes! She had to.

Her inner debate came to a swift end because all at once—he was there. Standing right beside her. She didn’t lift her head, but she felt his gaze upon her, the weight of it enough to make her wish the floor would open and swallow her whole.

“Lady Jane,” he said quietly, by way of greeting. But she still couldn’t lift her head. And her tongue seemed to have swollen to the size of a melon.

Her gaze flicked over the table, and gratitude washed over her as her friends rushed to her rescue. Again.

Even Ann, who tended to stumble over her words in the face of most lords of the ton , was rushing to fill the silence with questions about his health and the weather.

Felicity, too, managed to be polite, but it was plain to Jane and no doubt the other girls present that she was wearing a forced smile and only for Jane’s sake.

Meg, for her part, was on her feet, greeting Marlin like a long lost friend.

Jane closed her eyes. God bless her friends.

Then, with one steadying inhale, she forced herself to rise as well. And when she was standing beside her fiancé, he was so close she could feel the heat of his body as he all but engulfed the space around her.

She lifted her chin and met his gaze.

Nothing. Blank, hard, unforgiving nothing. That’s what stared back at her. No emotions in those dark eyes, no sign of pleasure at the sight of her.

Or anger, for that matter.

And perhaps for that she should be grateful, considering the way they’d parted.

But the sight of his shuttered expression put an end to any doubts she’d been harboring. And despite the rising swell of terror, she forced herself to say, “Might I have a word in private, my lord?”

Oh, that earned her a look all right.

His brows arched in surprise, but he recovered quickly. “Of course.”

He offered her his arm, and she didn’t risk looking back. One hint of sympathy from Meg or concern from Felicity and she could very well lose her nerve.

They had no idea what she was planning, because if they did they’d only fret on her behalf. They’d support her. They always supported one another, no matter how ridiculous their plans.

But she hadn’t wanted them to worry for her or try to fight her battles on her behalf. Right now, however…

It wouldn’t take much for her to turn tail and run back to her friends, hide behind them so she could avoid this man and the conversation to come.

But no. She took a deep, fortifying breath. She’d realized something crucial during her brief glimpse of freedom, and that was…

She couldn’t live in fear forever. And if she married this man, that’s exactly what would happen. Her whole life would be as it was now, only worse. She could see it all too well. Days spent waiting for any sort of acknowledgment from the stern Earl, and miserable fear when he finally chose to notice her.

No. That was no way to live. She couldn’t do it.

She’d done her best to avoid thinking about what was to come, but that one afternoon had brought her future into startling clarity. That day Marlin had gone from being a looming shadow in her life to a living, breathing, warmblooded man.

She couldn’t ignore thoughts of him any longer, nor the life she was meant to live with him.

And so she did not so much as glance backward, but instead let him lead the way. Only when she realized he was steering her in the direction of her aunt did she speak up. “Could we…” She nearly stopped when his head tilted down so he could stare at her.

Nay, glare at her.

She swallowed hard. “I’m a bit warm, and if you don’t mind…” Oh drat. Her voice was already quivering and she hadn’t even begun. “Could we step outside for a moment?”

His brows furrowed ever so slightly, but he changed course without a word until they were outside. He made as if to stop just outside the doors of the townhome’s veranda, but Jane kept moving, and he was forced to continue as well or drag her to a halt.

She stopped as far away from the doors as she could, well out of the glow of candlelight, and beyond the hearing of the few other couples who’d had the same idea.

And now she was here. Alone. And facing her fiancé.

The words she’d practiced in the mirror wouldn’t come. For, in all her practicing, she’d failed to take into account just how fierce his gaze could be. Just how unrelenting his attention.

She wet her lips, and then let out a shuddery exhale as his gaze dipped to follow the movement.

Her breath caught, and all at once she was back in that shed, feeling the crush of his lips against hers.

“Did you wish to speak to me?” His low voice cut through her memory and brought her back to the moment with a jarring crash.

Her heart clamored like it had just been called out for the errant fantasy. The kiss might have been…pleasant.

Pleasant seemed so dull a word.

But clearly it hadn’t meant anything. And it didn’t change anything. It was merely a reminder of just how much she’d be at his mercy if she did not cry off right this moment.

She swallowed hard. “Yes, I was hoping?—”

“Jane, I came here tonight because?—”

She’d waited too long, and when she finally spoke, he’d broken the silence at the same time.

Drat. Now they faced each other with an awkward silence hanging between them. “Please,” he said, his tone so even and calm she had the ridiculous urge to slap him. It seemed so very unfair that he was forever calm in her presence while the mere sight of him sent her into a fit of nerves.

“After you,” he added with a magnanimous wave of his hand.

Right. Yes. She could do this. “I was hoping to speak with you, my lord?—”

“Jasper.”

She blinked. “Pardon?”

His brow furrowed again, and she feared perhaps he was already insulted and she hadn’t even begun.

“Jasper,” he said again. “That is my given name.”

She blinked again. Was it?

“Since we are to be married, I thought perhaps you ought to use it.”

She blinked once more as if that might help her make sense of his words.

But no. She was still confused. He wanted her to use his given name…

Now? Only now had he thought to share this information?

His gaze held hers, dark and unreadable.

That dreadful knot in her chest began to warm. To glow. To spark and swell…

Anger swept over her hot and sudden, and shocking in its intensity. “Eight months.”

That wasn’t part of her planned speech, but the words slipped out in her anger.

Now it was his turn to blink in confusion. “Pardon?”

“Eight months we have been engaged to one another,” she said. “And tonight you’ve decided I ought to use your given name?”

She’d said it pleasantly enough. Indeed, it came out sounding absurdly sweet. Which was annoying, really. Even when she was furious, all those years of lessons in decorum had apparently left her unable to be anything but docile.

Her hands clenched at her sides as he studied her like she was some rare specimen.

But before he could respond, she hurried on. “That’s beside the point.”

“Is it? Then what is the point exactly?” Oh yes, he was confused for certain. His brows were so thoroughly knitted there was a deep crease between them.

She took another deep breath and called up the speech she’d prepared. “My lord, I wish to apologize for my actions the other day.”

“I do not require?—”

“I’m not through.” She spoke through gritted teeth, and had to force her tone to be even as she added, “This is not easy for me, my lord?—”

“Jasper.”

“This is not easy for me, my lord , so if you would not mind…”

His brows arched high but he clamped his mouth shut and waited.

Her heart was beating so loudly it nearly drowned out the sound of her voice. She only caught snippets of her well-rehearsed speech between the clamoring thud that resounded in her ears. “...recent events made it clear to me how ill-suited we are…

Thud.

“...and while I know my father and aunt will be disappointed…”

Thud, thud.

“I am convinced it will be no poor reflection on you, however…”

Thud, thud, thud.

And finally she reached the end. “While I do not relish the consequences, I believe it would be for the best if you were to call off this engagement.”

A loud silence echoed between them when she came to a stop.

She let out the last of her breath with an odd sort of miserable relief at having gotten it all out.

It wasn’t all that different from the feeling she got after tossing the contents of her stomach when she’d been ill this past summer.

She felt foul and slightly ill…but so much better for having the worst of it out of her.

But now the silence stretched. And she waited.

And waited.

Aside from that crease between his brows, he gave little away. Until?—

“ What?! ”