Charming the Elusive Earl (Charmed By Chance #2)

Chapter 12

12

J ane’s eyes were wide and filled with incomprehension as she dropped her gaze to his outstretched hand. “Shall we…what?”

He felt the oddest urge to laugh. This whole blasted evening had been out of character for him, and this—what he was doing now—this was surely the most shocking of all.

He cleared his throat. “I cannot say that I am a skilled dancer...”

Blast. Did he sound as stilted to her as he did to himself? Most likely. But he forged ahead, his hand hovering between them awkwardly. “Which, I’ll admit, is one of the reasons I tend to forego balls.”

She blinked. “Because you do not dance well?”

Heat crawled up his neck. “Yes. But that’s not the only reason.”

“What are the other reasons?”

He felt the veriest fool. Worse, he felt utterly exposed under her searching gaze. But this was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? To get to know him?

And in a way it was what he wanted too. Because it was clear to him now that he’d gone about those visits all wrong.

Jane would never let him get to know her unless she knew him first.

Because he scared her.

And that thought still stung.

He let his hand drop to his side, his chest aching when she still stood there, so apprehensive. So…wary. “Mostly I choose not to attend because I don’t like being in crowds. As you’ve surely surmised by now, I am not at all skilled at small talk.”

Her lips twitched, and his own lips echoed the movement. And for one gorgeous moment, they almost shared a smile.

Almost.

It was more of a wince of understanding on either side. But it was a start.

“I despise small talk.” She said it softly and he caught the words and held them close, cherishing them for the olive branch they were.

He’d been sincere, and she’d returned that honesty.

Hope was a dangerous creature, sharp and eager, and it threatened to go straight to his head.

“I didn’t realize you were alone at these events,” he started.

“I wasn’t. Well…I was. At first. But then I found friends.”

“I’m glad,” he said. “And…I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was not there for you. If I’d known I’d be welcome, I’d have been at your side every moment.”

She tilted her head to the side. “Why wouldn’t you be welcome?”

He inhaled deeply, and chose his words carefully. “I was under the impression that my presence frightened you. I thought perhaps getting to know one another slowly and carefully was the wisest course of action to put you at ease. But I can see now that was wrong.”

She flinched. “Not entirely. I was…intimidated by you.” She pursed her lips and then said quickly, “I’m not certain I would have welcomed your presence at society events. So perhaps…perhaps we were both to blame.”

He rocked back on his heels. There was another long silence between them, but this one didn’t feel so tense.

Just awkward.

He thrust his hand in her direction again. And again she stared at it.

“Will you dance with me?” he asked.

She frowned in confusion. “Here? Now?”

He nodded toward the window where rain still came down in steady rhythm. “Out there.” At her continued silence, he quoted her. “You want to listen to music and dance in the rain when no one is watching…” He trailed off when her eyes widened to the point it looked painful.

“You remember that?”

“Of course. I remember everything you say.” And there. That was the moment he knew he’d said too much. Revealed his whole blasted hand.

She blinked rapidly. Before she could utter the questions he knew were coming, he cleared his throat and hurried on. “I wasn’t entirely sure if you wished to listen to music in the rain or if merely dancing would suffice, and while I admit I am not much of a musician, I could have it arranged to have a quartet brought here and?—”

“No.” She seemed to choke on the word. “I do not need music in the rain. I…”

He wasn’t sure if it was a laugh, precisely. But she made a sort of gurgling sound that made his heart undeniably…happy.

She eyed his hand and then glanced back up at him with a hint of suspicion. “You’d really go out there and…and dance in the rain? Just because I said I wished it?”

“Yes.”

She stared at him for a long while, and he let her. He wasn’t sure what she was looking for, or how to give it to her, whatever it was she sought. But after a while, she let out an exhale and gave him a tentative smile.

Then she slipped her hand into his, and his heart squeezed so painfully it stole his breath.

“All right,” she said softly. “Let’s dance.”

* * *

A little while later, rain drenched her hair, and trickled down her cheeks, and he was certain Jane had never looked more beautiful.

They’d slipped out unseen, pausing together silently in a quiet hallway as if by unspoken agreement. Only when a maid had passed without noticing them did they continue on toward the back of Jane’s house.

They managed to make it out into the early evening unseen. Or at least, he hoped for her sake no one had seen. No one would dare question an earl if he wished to take a stroll in the rain, but he suspected Jane was not given such freedoms.

Which made it all the sweeter when she stopped as they reached the garden, out of view of anyone who might have glanced out the window. She tipped her head back, closed her eyes, and…she smiled.

The smile made her look like an angel. So pure and sweet and lovely.

But she was also human. And he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice, treating her like some otherworldly treasure whose only role was to be protected and cherished.

He could protect her. And nothing would ever stop him from cherishing her. But more than that, he could give her everything she wanted.

And more.

He squashed that hope. She might never want more from him. And that was all right. So long as she was happy, he’d be more than content.

She opened her eyes slowly. And if she was alarmed to find him staring down at her like a lovestruck fool, she didn’t let on. Indeed, that soft smile stayed put. But her gaze was bashful and her cheeks stained pink as he held his arms out in invitation.

He held his breath until she closed the gap, stepping into his arms and delicately resting one hand on his arm while slipping the other gloveless hand into his.

Her gown was drenched, but she didn’t seem to notice, let alone care.

Marlin had not been lying when he’d said he was not a skillful dancer. He’d taken the requisite classes as a child, but had little opportunity to practice.

His own fault, of course.

But, to his surprise, they began to move at once, and in time. The waltz was slow and the most heady experience, because as they spun in the rain, her bright blue gaze held his unflinchingly.

And oh, how much he could see there.

Whole worlds existed in her eyes. A storm of emotions, and a dizzying array of depth and feeling. There was so much more to this quiet, shy creature than anyone knew.

Not even him, and he’d been a presumptuous fool to think he did.

The squishing sound of their feet in the mud made her smile, and then she laughed, and he found himself laughing too.

They were laughing together , and it was so much more than he could have asked for.

It was everything.

When the laughter faded and their dancing resumed, she surprised him. “What are you thinking?”

He didn’t hesitate. “That I want to know everything about you.”

For a moment he thought he’d frightened her, but she looked thoughtful. “Then all you must do is ask.”

He nodded. But he was enjoying this dance too much to turn it into an interrogation. The feel of her in his arms, the painful sweetness of her solid warmth beneath his hands, and the way she moved in time with him as if on some level, at least, they were in sync.

But after a while, curiosity won out. “What are you thinking?”

Her smile was a flash of white teeth and dimples and it brightened the stormy sky as surely as sunshine. “I was thinking that you are the first person to ever ask me what I want.”

There was no self-pity in her tone, but he felt a pang of regret all the same that he hadn’t asked sooner. And above all that, a frighteningly powerful surge of anger. “What about your father? Your aunt?”

She laughed. “Definitely not. They know what’s best for me, you see.”

“Ah.” He squeezed her hand and held her tighter. “But they don’t really, do they?”

Her smile turned a little sad as she shook her head. “They mean well.”

He hated the silence that followed. Hated that he had no idea how to make her feel better. The urge to spout vows welled inside him.

Marry me and I will make your every wish come true, I swear it.

Unless, of course, she wished to marry another.

That thought made it feel as though his insides were collapsing. Is there someone else?

He should be selfless and ask. But if she said yes, he’d have to do right by her.

He’d have to let her go.

They danced together in silence as he struggled with this new realization, but she broke it first. “I was thinking how no one’s asked me what I want before, but also that… I never asked you .”

He blinked down at her, captivated as he watched a trickle of rain curve over her high cheekbone and down, hovering at the edge of her perfect, pink lips.

“Pardon?” It came out far too gruff. And he couldn’t bring himself to look away from her mouth. From the drops of rain that only managed to highlight her delicate features and draw attention to her lips.

“I never asked what you wanted,” she said.

He wasn’t sure if she knew she was doing it, but with every step, she seemed to be drawing closer.

It was slow and subtle…and most likely unconscious.

He’d like to think it was evidence that she was growing comfortable with him.

“You’ve granted one of my wishes with this dance.” Her smile was shy and made him want to scoop her up into his arms and never let go. “So now it is your turn. What’s one of your wishes?”

She glanced up at him through eyelashes thick and dark from the rain. Her hair was plastered against her forehead and temples, but beneath all that he saw a flare of hope that rivaled his own.

She wanted to know him.

His body warmed, despite the cool rain. “You want to know what I wish?”

Her lips trembled, but with laughter or fear he couldn’t say. “If that is too personal, or?—”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” His brows arched. “No one has ever asked me that either.”

Her smile grew. “Then name the first thing you think of.”

It didn’t require thought. There was only one wish that had been consuming him since the first time they’d met. Definitely since the time they’d become engaged.

And it was all he’d been able to think of since that day in the shed.

“I would like to kiss you again.”

Her eyes widened and he cursed himself as he prepared for her horror. What was he doing? He’d only just made her comfortable enough to be near him.

With regret, he started to loosen his grip on her, but then her chin set in determination and she removed her hand from his—but only long enough to plant both hands on his chest.

And then she went up on tiptoe to kiss him.

The touch was innocent and sweet, gentle and tentative. All of those sensations wrapped around him like a warm, comforting caress even as the feel of her lips brushing over his sparked a fire inside.

And for the first time in his life?—

Marlin lost control.