Chase Our Forever (Sutten Mountain #3)

40. Dean

40

DEAN

I wake up to a warm body pressed to mine. My hand splays across Liv’s stomach, keeping her pinned against me. I don’t think we moved our position all night. The night may have started with me having a nightmare, but after she agreed to stay in here with me, I slept better than I had in years.

No woman has ever slept in this bed next to me. After Selena passed, I couldn’t keep the bedroom furniture she’d picked out. I donated all of it, unable to keep the same bed she’d slept in after her scent disappeared from the sheets. After that, I thought I’d never sleep next to another woman again, but that all changed with Liv.

I should be scared at the knowledge things are so different with her, but I’m not. I haven’t been at peace in the morning in a very long time, yet this morning, that’s exactly how I feel.

She still sleeps soundly, allowing me the freedom to just stare at her without being caught. Slowly, I prop myself up on my elbow so I can get a better look at her. I gently push pieces of hair from her face. She had it neatly braided back last night, but now, pieces around her face have fallen out and splay out in different directions on her pillow.

Her long, blonde eyelashes kiss her high cheekbones. Even in her sleep, she has the softest of smiles gracing her lips.

I want to lean in and kiss it, to feel her lips turn up into that stunning smile of hers. I want to pepper kisses all along her body until her eyes pop open. And then I want to feel her tongue against mine before thanking her for saving me from my own mind last night.

My heartbeat accelerates at all the things I want to do. I’ve tried to keep my distance from her, to look at her as just a friend and as Clara’s nanny. It isn’t working. We’re like two magnets, being drawn together despite our best efforts.

What happens when you try to do the right thing and it doesn’t work? Can I kiss her like I’ve been dreaming about ever since the moment I tasted her? Can I tell her that I’m terrified of the feelings I’ve developed for her? Can I tell her that I thought my heart would never want anyone else, yet here it is, desperately needing her?

I let my thumb drift to her bottom lip. Memories flash through my mind of when I had it between my teeth. She moaned when I bit and then licked the very same spot.

I close my eyes for a moment, letting the pad of my thumb rest against her lip as I try to get my thoughts under control.

Her body stirs against mine, making my eyes pop open. She squirms a little, rubbing her ass against my cock. It’s rock hard. Partly from it being morning but mostly because I’d woken up next to her.

Her eyelids flutter open, her bright blue eyes landing on me immediately.

“Good morning,” she whispers, her voice still groggy from sleep.

I smile at the same moment my heart lurches in my chest.

She’s so fucking perfect. I have no right to want her to be mine, but that’s exactly what I want. I want to kiss her whenever I want—which is always. I want to wake up with her in my arms every damn morning. I want to hold her hand in public. I want a lot of things when it comes to her.

“Morning,” I respond as my thumb caresses her cheek.

It’s scary wanting things again. I never thought I would. And now that I do, I’m terrified of her not wanting the same things as me.

“You sleep okay?” She arches her back a little in a stretch, her ass rubbing against me again in the process. I pull my hips away as fast as I can, a struggling sound coming from my lips at the small tease of the connection of our bodies.

I nod my head as she rolls to her back. Her eyes roam over me, and I feel nervous under her gaze. No one makes me feel nervous anymore. No one but her. I want to crawl inside her mind and figure out what she’s thinking.

Does she regret sleeping in here with me? Does she think about me as much as I think about her? Does she feel the connection between us and realize it’s so much more than just physical?

“I can’t tell you the last time I slept that good,” I admit, anxious to see her reaction to my confession.

Her eyes go wide for a moment before they crinkle at the sides with her growing smile. “Same.”

An overwhelming sense of happiness washes over me at her words. It feels so right to wake up next to her, to see the way the sunlight reflects off her blonde hair in the morning and see her sleepy smile.

I want to beg her to sleep in this bed with me again tonight—and tomorrow. And the night after that—and ask her to never sleep upstairs again.

“Can I make you breakfast?” I ask, knowing I need to get out of this bed because I’m seconds away from kissing her and confessing how stupid I was to ever think we could prevent the inevitable between us.

If my question takes her by surprise, she doesn’t show it. “I’d love that.”

It’s my turn to smile. Unable to help myself, I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead. “You stay right here in bed while I go make breakfast.”

I don’t know why I want her to stay in bed so badly instead of coming to the kitchen with me while I prepare food, but I do. Something about the vision of her in my bed does something to me. I don’t know if I’ll have the nerve to ask her to stay in here with me again tonight. Because of that, I want to keep her in my bed as long as possible today. Clara isn’t supposed to return until this evening. Liv and I have never had a day alone together like this. I wouldn’t be opposed to keeping her in my bed for every second of it.

“Can I at least shower?” Liv teases as I climb out of bed.

I pause, thinking about her question for a moment. “Yes. If it’s short. I’m bringing you breakfast in bed.”

She bites her lip in an attempt to hide her smile. Her eyes travel across my naked torso. I revel in the feeling of her heated gaze on the muscles I work hard to maintain as I age.

“I’ll be here,” she responds, her voice breaking a little. She clears her throat as she pulls her gaze from my abs and to my eyes.

I smirk, wanting to call her out for checking me out. I keep the teasing to myself. She can do it all she wants. I was planning on grabbing a shirt from my closet but decide against it.

A grin stays on my face as I back out of my room. I pause in the doorway, wanting to remember this very moment forever. Her messy hair, the timid smile, the flush to her cheeks.

The happiness consuming me just because of her.

It’s something I never want to forget.

“You have twenty minutes before I’m back with food. You better be in my bed when I get back, sunshine.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” she responds.

I wonder if she has any idea that even with an answer as simple as that, she makes it incredibly easy to fall for her.