Christmas at a Highland Castle

Chapter 26

When Dee next saw Robbie, he took her by surprise. It had been three days and Dee’s cowardice had held her back from seeing him in that time, stopping her from telling him just how conflicted she was feeling after Olivia had all but laughed at the idea of the two of them together.

With a little more than a week to go before Christmas Day, and Freya and the boys arriving later in the day, Dee was in one of the storage buildings at the far end of the stable yard, searching for the old rocking horse. It was either out here or in the attic, and Dee was sure nobody had bothered to cart it up all those stairs.

She’d just located the dappled grey body underneath a calico sheet when she saw the top of Robbie’s head pass by the window. He was calling for one of his dogs – which was unusual; Robbie’s spaniels were extremely well trained, and never usually strayed far from him even when they were loose.

Dee drew back the bolts on a long-since unused plank door and peered out.

‘Otto, where are you?’ Robbie sounded panicked; his expression was fraught as he caught sight of Dee.

‘What’s happened?’ she said.

‘Otto took off. No idea why. He headed out here and he’s not responding to me.’ Robbie pulled his dog whistle up to his mouth and blew, his gaze scanning the undergrowth as he called for his dog again.

‘Can I help?’ Dee said; the tug to go to him was intense. But Olivia’s words rang in her ears, prompting her to keep her distance.

With a sudden volley of barks, Otto shot from the undergrowth. Dee waited for Robbie to chastise the dog, to grab hold of it and haul it away, as Henry had done if Atticus put a paw out of line. Maybe kick at it. Instead, Robbie dropped onto his haunches, and while his words were full of reprimand, his tone was soft and full of relief. He slipped a leash around the dog’s neck and stood, his expression softer now.

‘How are you doing?’ he asked, stepping closer to her.

‘I’m confused,’ she said. It was the truth, even if it wasn’t what Robbie would want to hear. Nor was she about to tell him why.

‘About what?’ His eyebrows crushed together. ‘Do you think we made a mistake?’

She frowned, glancing around to check they couldn’t be overheard. Robbie noticed her furtiveness and pulled in a long breath.

‘Right. I see.’ He shook his head as he stepped back. ‘I’d best be going, then.’

Otto stood on his back legs, paws against Robbie’s thigh. He pushed the dog down, brushing snow from his leg before he walked away.

‘Robbie—’

He turned, but Dee couldn’t make herself complete the sentence. Couldn’t explain why she was struggling to tell him she was in love with him, even though she was.

‘If I got this wrong, Dee, then I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to complicate things for you or hurt you.’

She shook her head. The absolute opposite was true, but somehow her tongue had turned to lead in her mouth, and she couldn’t say anything. Instead, she stood in silence as he walked away.

Jess was delighted that Vivi felt well enough to make the journey to the castle that afternoon. With the imminent arrival of Sebastian’s younger sister, Jess needed to bolster Team Wight: Jess, Vivi and Digby – a formidable team, even if she did say so herself.

Vivi arrived resplendent in a wheelchair someone in the village had made available, moaning about how ridiculous it was that, at his age, Craig had insisted on pushing her all the way to the castle. And how the tartan blanket they’d insisted on tucking over her knees made her look even more of an invalid.

‘Enjoy it, Vivi,’ Jess said, as she made Craig a coffee and placed a large piece of shortbread on the saucer for him. ‘I’d love someone to push me around.’

‘No, you wouldn’t. Having to be ferried around in a buggy is for babies and the infirm. And I am neither of those things. Not that I’m not grateful, Craig,’ she added, earning herself a stifled laugh from her chauffeur.

Furnished with a coffee, Vivi narrowed her eyes. ‘So, how’s everything going with you?’

‘Everything’s fine.’

Vivi snorted a laugh. ‘People only ever say that when things are definitely not “fine”. They’re usually way better or way worse than that boring descriptor. And I happen to have insider knowledge of what you’ve been up to.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vivi. What do you mean “been up to”? I don’t understand,’ Jess said.

‘You’re about as good at subterfuge as Digby.’

‘What’s subterfuge?’ Jess said, trying to buy herself some time.

‘You know perfectly well. Deception. Duplicity. Trickery.’ Vivi tilted her head at Jess. ‘It makes me chuckle when people think everyone lives in their own bubble, never interested in or paying attention to what’s going on outside it. And you of all people should know by now that I never spend time in any kind of a bubble. Dorathy Keel called in to see me. She filled me in.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yes. Exactly right . Oh .’

Vivi could only be referring to Jess’s return to the village hall after the choir rehearsal: the way she’d stormed back in through the doors, drawing everybody’s attention when the doors had smacked back against their wooden frames. The way she’d rounded on the group telling them how little Sebastian deserved their scorn. How they didn’t know him at all, that he was one of the gentlest people she’d ever met. That he didn’t deserve their treatment of him, and he was doing his best to set the estate straight.

Dorathy Keel had smoothed the waters, led her away from the group with soothing words and a firm hand.

‘It’s not the way, wee lassie. He needs to do it for himself, in his own way.’

‘He already is, it’s just that nobody knows,’ Jess had said, desperate for someone to properly understand. ‘Can I tell you something in confidence?’

‘No. I don’t think so,’ Mrs Keel had replied, shaking her head. ‘I’m already the keeper of far too many Kirkshield secrets. I don’t want to know anything he’s not ready for everyone to know.’

‘I’ve known him for two weeks.’ Jess frowned, ignoring Dorathy’s request for discretion. ‘And he’s already confided in me about …’ She lowered her voice. ‘About the financial situation of the estate, about what he wants from his life versus what’s expected of him. About all sorts of things.’

‘Do I have to put my fingers in my ears, Jess?’

‘You need to understand – they all do. He could walk away, and they’d lose everything: their homes, their businesses, the community. The whole lot. But he’s trying to make it right. You know what state the castle is in. And some of the cottages. Is it fair to blame him for that when he hasn’t even been here for ten years? That’s on his father. The debts? You have no idea. And even though he had a far happier life in London, doing what he really wanted to do, instead of selling up and running away he’s going to try to make it all work. God only knows why, if this is the way he’s going to be treated. And even after everything, he wants to offer the choir the use of the music room, for practices, but he didn’t know how to say it to them.’ Jess came up for air, aware she might have got carried away and said too much.

Then Mrs Keel had smiled, drawn in a deep breath and slipped a hand around Jess’s shoulders. ‘If I were in trouble, lady, I’d want you on my team. That’s for sure. Now, go on with you, back to the castle where you belong, and you leave this lot to me.’

Jess didn’t know what Dorathy might have said to the rest of the villagers, but she’d obviously filled Vivi in on the bones of it.

‘Somehow it doesn’t surprise me, Jess,’ Vivi said, then she smiled. ‘I’d go as far as to say I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. In fact, I’d go further and say there’s more to your actions than you realise, but you’d be bound to deny it all.’

‘I don’t know what you want me to say. I was just sticking up for my employer.’

Vivi chortled with laughter. ‘Sometimes, Jess … Honestly.’

‘What do you want me to say? He’s … I don’t know what he is. He’s complicated and brilliantly talented, sometimes he’s really funny and sometimes he’s very grumpy. He’s down to earth but he’s also a member of the aristocracy – and what is that all about? He’s like nobody I’ve ever met before, but I feel like I’ve always known him. I feel like I could say anything to him, and he might laugh, or he might shout, but either way he’d still listen. Does that make any sense?’

‘Sounds like every employer I’ve ever known … I don’t think.’ The smile had no intention of slackening off, by the looks of it. It was riveted to Vivi’s lips and lifted higher on one side, as though she knew more than she was letting on. But there wasn’t anything else to know, Jess was certain of it.

Vivi turned to Craig. ‘The young, hey? Can’t see the road ahead even if it’s signposted and lit like a runway at night.’

Craig chuckled again, finishing the last of his biscuit.

‘Oh, and before I forget,’ Vivi continued. ‘Yes. The choir would very much like to practise in the music room from now on. Perhaps you could let Sebastian know for them?’

With Vivi’s words still ringing in her ears, and Digby scrabbling at the door in an attempt to follow Vivi and Craig home, Jess tidied the kitchen. She then turned her attentions to preparations for the imminent arrival of Sebastian’s younger sister and her two sons, Freddie, who had not long turned five, and Karl, who was three.

She was singing to herself as she dusted the grey rocking horse which had been reinstated into the breakfast room, intending to follow that with a beeswax polish, when she caught sight of Sebastian in the doorway. She paused as he approached, duster dangling from her hand.

‘Did you ever think of singing professionally?’ he said.

Jess frowned, not sure she was in the right frame of mind to explain how she’d never quite bounced back from her time with Venus Rising – how she’d always hoped music would be a part of her life, but that she wasn’t sure how to achieve it anymore.

‘I was in a band for a while,’ she said, hoping the admission would be enough to quench his interest. If anything, it had the opposite effect, and he studied her with renewed curiosity.

‘What kind of band?’

‘We weren’t ever very good,’ she said.

‘That’s not what I asked,’ he said, his gaze steady. ‘I’m genuinely interested, Jess. I’m not going to be all Simon Cowell about it. Music is about a lot more than perfection.’

Jess felt foolish telling Sebastian about the formation of Venus Rising, about the few gigs they’d managed to perform, blighted by the temper tantrums of their bass guitarist. She explained how the bookings had faltered and then dried up, how the group had finally disbanded, how she’d had a go at a few solo performances, but ultimately had changed direction.

‘I’d always dreamed of being a housekeeper, you see,’ she said, a wry smile edging onto her face.

‘Who hasn’t?’ he said, grinning too. Then his smile faded. ‘You should sing again, Jess. Find a way to enjoy it, you know?’

‘Maybe.’ Jess shrugged, then picked up the beeswax polish, unscrewing the lid. While she gave the rocking horse a rejuvenating dose of polish Sebastian told her how it had taken pride of place in front of the bay window for most of their formative years, and that Freya’s boys were crazy excited about playing on it.

Apparently, Sebastian himself had gone through a phase of yearning to be a jockey, and Jess laughed so hard as he gave her a demonstration, arms flailing as his feet slipped from the tiny stirrups, that he almost fell off.

‘Probably why I never wanted a real one,’ he said, grinning as he climbed off.

Before she could think better of it, Jess said, ‘If it’s OK, can we have the next choir rehearsal in the music room?’

He frowned at the segue but nodded anyway.

‘I hope you don’t mind, but I happened to mention it to Mrs Keel, and I think everyone’s super excited by your offer.’

His eyebrows arched, his hand resting on the horse’s head. ‘Really?’

‘Well, if they aren’t, they should be,’ she added, feeling her cheeks colour at the strength of her tone.

‘No holds barred, eh? I get the feeling I know who I can call on if I ever need help burying a body. Anyone ever tell you you’re fierce?’

‘I did learn from the best,’ she said with a grin. ‘I’m pretty sure Vivi’s buried more corpses than most people.’

‘It wouldn’t surprise me at all,’ he said. ‘Anything you want me to help with while we’re here?’

‘No – I already think I’ll be able to dine off your impersonation of a jockey forever. No point giving me a total embarrassment of riches, is there?’

He laughed. ‘Fair enough. I’d better go and change – Freya and the boys will be here soon.’

‘Everything will be ready,’ she said.

‘Everything’s already perfect, Jess,’ he replied.

Sebastian was at the front door when Freya and the boys arrived. As he strode across the driveway and helped the driver with the luggage, he couldn’t contain his grin. Setting the cases down on the remnants of the snow, he grabbed Freya in a bear hug, twirling her around until she squealed.

‘It’s been far too long,’ he said.

Although Freya and her husband had made it over for the funeral, they hadn’t had proper time together, and it had been a couple of years since Sebastian had last seen the boys. Karl had been a baby the last time they’d all been at the castle together.

‘Don’t hurt my mummy,’ Karl said, viewing his uncle with suspicion. His finger was held between his teeth in the exact same way Freya used to hold hers.

Sebastian was fiercely protective of both his sisters, but he’d always felt a special level of love for Freya, though he’d never vocalise the fact. He knew exactly where Karl was coming from. He squatted until his head was level with his nephew’s.

‘I would never hurt your mummy. Do you know why?’ he asked. When the little boy shook his head, Sebastian continued, ‘Because she’s one of my most favourite people in the entire world. That’s why.’

Karl’s expression thawed, a little. ‘Me too.’

‘Uncle Sebastian, have you got ghosts in the castle?’ Freddie piped up.

‘Not that I’m aware,’ Sebastian said, picking up cases and walking towards the front door.

‘Oh, that’s boring,’ Freddie said, heading up the porch steps and disappearing inside.

‘Wait for me,’ Karl called, elbows pumping as he did his best to catch up to his brother, a ragged blue bunny bouncing from one hand.

With all the cases in the hallway and the driver heading away from the castle, Freya glanced around the space, then fixed him with the gaze he’d missed more than he realised.

‘How are you coping?’ she said. ‘We never did get a chance to talk properly at the funeral.’

‘The debts are horrendous, Frey. He couldn’t have left the place in a worse position if he’d tried.’

A cloud of a frown blighted his sister’s gentle features. ‘Can you fix it, do you think?’

Sebastian arched his eyebrows. ‘I want to. Liv wants to step up, too, but I have no idea how we’re going to sort out any of it.’

‘You should chat to Christian when he gets here. He might have some ideas.’

Before Sebastian could reply, Freddie was back. ‘Where’s the tree? There’s no Christmas tree. Uncle Sebastian, there’s no tree!’

‘Kissmas tree,’ Karl added. ‘Kissmas lights.’

Sebastian shook his head. ‘There’s no tree yet because we were waiting for you boys to arrive. It’s a Kirkshield tradition. We always wait for the youngest people to arrive and then we go into the forest and choose one. We can do it in the morning, if you want to.’

As the boys circled his legs, clamouring for the tree hunt to start immediately, Freya frowned at him. ‘What tradition? It’s the first I’ve heard of it.’

‘That’s because I’ve just instigated it.’

She grinned, then began to laugh. ‘You forgot all about getting the tree in, didn’t you?’

‘No. Of course I didn’t. What a terrible thing to say.’ Then he grimaced. ‘Might have forgotten … Things have been a bit all over the place …’

‘Well, I think it’s a wonderful new tradition,’ Freya said, leaning in to kiss his cheek, then glancing at her children. ‘Although, if I’m honest, I don’t think they’re going to be able to wait for the morning.’

‘Better find the chainsaw, then,’ Sebastian said.