Christmas Criminal

12. Nick

12

NICK

Saturday, December 14th

I wait in my car while Noelle starts hers and slowly drives away, waving through the window as she heads for the road.

I don't know if I made the right decision. It was on the tip of my tongue all day, that Hank said Christina was moving back here. But he told me not to tell, and after that, saying anything at all felt like it might make the whole situation bigger than it needed to be.

Unless it is that big for Noelle, in which case, I definitely feel like I fucked up.

I like Hank, but when it comes to Hank or Noelle, my loyalty lies with her.

The thought surprises me, and I shake my head as I start my car and head out of the high school parking lot, making a right where Noelle made a left.

Noelle blustered into my life when I wasn't expecting or looking for someone. Yet now, after knowing her for such a short time, I already feel accountable to her. I already feel like I don't particularly care if Hank didn't want me to pass along this news because all that really matters is that I know now, and by extension, Noelle should too.

This feeling is new to me, but it's not uncomfortable. I think I've been searching for someone to click into like this.

Noelle is a handful in the best sort of way. She's clear about what she wants and needs, and she doesn't settle for less than what she deserves. Her communication skills leave a little to be desired, but at least I'll know I fucked up if I hear an egg splattering on my front door.

And I mean, she is working on it.

But as I loop around the town square, avoiding the most populated parts, I start to wonder if I'm even capable of being everything she deserves.

I don't have a family. I live on a teacher's salary–as Emily so often reminded me. And I live in the one place she hates more than anything.

A tightness blooms in my chest when I realize I really want something that I might not be able to have.

But the question of Christina still bounces around in my head. If Christina is moving back here, Noelle would have to make her peace with that. If Christina is moving back here, Noelle would suddenly be living in her apartment alone.

Maybe she wouldn't want to anymore.

Maybe she would see my modest townhouse and think, hey, this ain't so bad after all .

I spent a lot of time working toward this place. Toward a high school with a good reputation in a town with nice people.

She's spent her time post-high school running away, and I've spent my time post-high school dreaming of this place.

Do we even have a chance?

When I pull into my parking spot, I push my glasses up onto my head and run my hands over my face. My house is cute but bereft of personality because I'm never home to give it any. I spend most of my time at the high school or out doing community events. That's why I moved here, after all.

But suddenly I wish I had put more into it.

Suddenly I wish there was someone waiting for me inside who might turn an otherwise empty house into something warm. A place I yearn to be rather than a place I rest my head each night.

I lock my car and head inside, struck by the barren walls and lack of decoration in a way that I haven't been before.

The loneliness of it all.

And I realize, as I sink into a couch that’s far too big for one person, that I have to tell Noelle her sister is moving to town. Whether it's true or not. No matter where I heard it from.

Because from here on out, I'm going to show Noelle that she can get exactly what she deserves from this town.

From me.

I'm meeting Noelle bright and early for another day of pamphlet distribution with Hank. She smiles when she sees me, her long dark hair tumbling down over her coat and her cheeks pink in the early morning cold. She shuffles toward my car, a thermos full of coffee in one hand, and presses herself into me, leaving a line of delicate kisses along my jaw.

And god, every time she does that, she wipes away every thought in my head and replaces them with her and only her.

I tug her hips closer, and she sighs into me as I dip my head down to kiss her.

"Good morning, Saint Nick," she says, her words soft against my lips.

"Good morning, Criminal."

She gives me a playful glare in return, her free hand dipping inside my coat and running along my chest in a way that has me very viscerally imagining what her bare skin must feel like in the morning.

I clear my throat, intending to start with the Christina news.

"So, last night I went home and did a little sleuthing," she starts, before I can get the words out.

I pause. "Yeah?"

"And I didn't get much of anything, honestly. But," she says, her eyes flashing. "I did happen to find a note in one of my mom's old yearbooks from a guy who signed his name as Hanky Panky."

A laugh bursts out of me that has Noelle dissolving into her own fit of giggles.

"And I don't even want to think about what that implies, but Nick, what are the chances that Hanky Panky who had heart eyes for my mom in high school, is the same Hanky Panky that is now getting all gruff and defensive over her when he runs into her dickhead ex-husband so many years later?"

I nod. "I feel like those chances are good. We should probably run a test to make sure, though."

Her eyes narrow, her hand coming to a stop on my chest. "A test?"

"Well, we have to see if he answers to Hanky Panky."

She throws her hand over her face as she laughs. "Oh my god, I cannot wait to see his reaction."

"If he is indeed, the Hanky Panky, my bet is he's going to turn a deep shade of crimson."

Noelle rocks onto the balls of her feet, her hair bouncing with the movement. "Oh, I can't wait! Come on, come on, we have to go find him!"

She grabs my hand, tugging me along after her, and winds her arm around my waist. I pull her closer, slowing our steps to preserve the time we have alone.

And I mean, I can't tell her about Christina if Hank is around. He told me to keep things quiet.

My insides are at war.

"Do you think they dated in high school?" Noelle asks.

I struggle to catch up with her. "If he's signing her yearbook as Hanky Panky, I'd guess so."

She laughs again, the fair looming ever closer ahead of us. Now or never, Nick.

"Oh, that's so sweet. You know, Hank gets on my nerves sometimes, but I will forever respect that man if he treats my mom as well as I think he will."

I tug her closer to me. Sweet and spicy, all in one. "I'm sure he'd treat her very well," I say.

The fair is bustling, even early in the morning, vendors wheeling in new products for the day and a few families already milling about.

When I spot Hank's booth in the distance, my heart thumps.

I grab her hand, pulling her to a stop, and she turns to me, her eyes searching my face.

And then she grins, standing on her toes to press her lips against mine.

I can't resist her.

I pull her into me, one arm around her back and one hand on her neck. She moans lightly as she winds around me, her tongue licking at my lips and slipping into my mouth. She tastes like chocolate peppermint coffee, and it stokes that hunger that's been building in me for her.

When she pulls away from me, she bites her lip, standing on her toes to glance over my shoulder. "I think Hanky Panky is looking for us."

Sure enough, when I turn around, Hank is standing behind his table, hands on his hips and a shit-eating grin on his face.

At least he's not angry. I get the feeling he cares about Noelle in the way that her dad should have.

She grabs my hand, tugging me along behind her until we reach his booth and duck inside.

I know I was supposed to tell her something, but after the way she kissed me, my brain is blank aside from thoughts of that chocolate peppermint coffee she's drinking. And the fact that Hank is staring at us like that.

"Good morning, kids," he says, eyeing us both. I take the spare seat in the back of the hut, pulling my glasses off so I don't have to watch him watching me. I clean them on the edge of my shirt and affix them to my face again, only to see Hank standing above me, staring me down.

I think I'm about to get a scolding until Noelle speaks."Good morning, Hanky Panky," she says, her voice all high and sweet, and Hank and I start laughing as we turn to her.

"Hanky Panky?" he asks. "Where the hell did you get that one?"

She shrugs. "Out of my mom's old yearbook," she says, her gaze trained on him as he nods, doing his best to hide the smile on his face.

"Ah," he says. "I guess I forgot about that."

"Did you date my mom in high school?" she asks.

Hank's eyes slide to mine as if he's looking for an out. But I'm looking for a way out of the scolding he's about to give me, so there's zero chance I'm going to interrupt Noelle's questioning.

"Well, we had a little flirtation, I'd say," he admits, nodding to Noelle.

"Aw, you love her!" she exclaims, as Hank’s eyes dip.

She turns to me, eyes wide and bright. "He loves her!" she repeats.

"Noelle!" Hank barks. "Your mom and I are good friends."

She winks at him. "I got you."

"Noelle," he warns.

She only grins back at him.

"I don't need you spreading anything, okay?"

Christina pops into my mind again. Fuck . Another thing Hank doesn't want spread.

Unfortunately for him, my loyalty lies elsewhere.

She waves him off. "Oh, Hank, I'm not going to blow up your spot. I'm happy for you guys. Long lost loves coming back together. That's so sweet!"

Hank doesn't seem to know where to put his eyes. "We're not long lost loves. We're good friends."

"Uh huh," Noelle says, dropping her bag underneath the folding table in the back of the hut. "You love her and I think it's adorable. For what it's worth–not that you need it–I fully approve."

Hank shakes his head, turning away from us and out to the fair that's slowly growing more crowded with every passing minute. "I don't know what to do with you, Noelle," he grumbles, but I catch the smile in his voice.

She turns to me, a big grin across her face, as she winds an arm around his back and hugs him.

A second later, he hesitantly wraps one around her shoulders and squeezes.

And I can't take it anymore.

"Hank said your sister is moving back here," I blurt.

He turns to me, throwing his hands out in front of him. "Nick."

She blinks back and forth between the two of us. "What?"

"I'm sorry," I say to Hank. "But your loyalty lies with Helen. Mine lies with Noelle, and I can't keep it secret anymore."

Her brow furrows and she rears back, the hint of a disbelieving smile inching onto her face.

And then I realize what I said.

Fuck me.

Noelle shakes her head. "How long has this been a secret?" she asks.

"I've only known since yesterday," I say quickly, realizing I'm throwing Hank under the bus here but I don't particularly care. This isn't about him.

He sighs, turning toward Noelle. "Keep in mind I'm hearing this secondhand from your mother," he starts. "But Christina found a job close by that she really wanted. She went through the interview process thinking she wasn't going to get it, but when she did, she had to reevaluate things. I think she's planning on telling you once she knows what her plan is."

Noelle points at me. "How did you get all mixed up in this?"

"Hank accidentally told me, thinking you knew."

"And you kept it secret?"

"Hank told me to!"

"Your mother told me to! And I'm assuming Christina told her to!"

She glances between both of us, her expression flitting from one emotion to the next with milliseconds in between.

She lets out a long breath, shaking her head. "I think I have to go talk to my sister."

Hank nods. "I think that's probably best."

She turns to me. "Look, I know this was supposed to be the last day of community service. I just..." She waves her hands in front of her face like she's searching for words.

"I know. Go see your sister."

She nods, grabs her bag from underneath the folding table, and disappears into the crowd.

And then it's just me and Hank, staring at each other.

"I'm sorry," I say, crinkling up my nose.

He shakes his head, waving me off. "It's alright. I should have known better than to trust a lovesick fool to keep a secret anyway."

"I am not a lovesick fool."

He raises his eyebrows. "Your loyalty lies with her?" he asks, throwing my words from earlier back at me.

I squeeze my eyes shut. "Okay, that does sound kind of like lovesick foolery."