Christmas Criminal

19. Noelle

19

NOELLE

Monday, December 23rd

I t is a sweet sort of torture to spend your night fucking someone's brains out and then having to get up the next day and go take care of work .

I know that I do this to myself. I've made it a priority every year to personally hand out Christmas bonuses to my employees because I think it's only right that their hard work is rewarded at the end of the year. Of course, there are some people who are traveling and some who don't want their boss showing up at their door the day before Christmas Eve.

And that's okay–I'll mail those.

But it makes me feel good to put in a little bit of work when other people are off. To be able to say thank you in person to the people who show up every day and make my little business what it is.

I unravel myself from Nick early in the morning and tip-toe into the shower so I don't get home smelling like sex, a fact that Christina is sure to point out immediately before spending every free moment pressing me for all the gory details.

Of course, he follows me in a minute later, and I'm not sure I'm actually any cleaner by the time we get out.

I kiss him goodbye at the front door, and he groans before he lets me go, his hair still wet from the shower and his gray sweatpants highlighting him in a way that really should be illegal.

"Text me when you're home, okay?" he asks, his lips against my ear. He gives me one last kiss on the cheek before letting me go, and I step out of the door into the harsh December air.

I nod, ignoring the intense pull in my chest that's telling me to stay here. To crawl back in bed with Nick and forget about Christmas bonuses and picking up my sister.

I may hate this town, but Nick makes me want to stay.

If I could pack him up in a suitcase and drag him to the city, I would.

But he wouldn't be happy.

He wants to teach at a nice school in a nice community, and despite that not being my experience at all , it's his.

And he deserves that, after everything he's gone through.

As I drive home, my mind runs off without me. I got myself involved with someone sweet–an actual good guy–from a place that I absolutely hate . What was I thinking?

Because now that I'm driving away from him, I feel a little tug on my heart with every mile.

Like the distance is too much.

I never intended to fall for someone like him. In fact, I don't think I've really considered dating anyone since college. I've had an array of sexual experiences that might border on enjoyable, but I've never felt like this . He makes me see stars when he touches me but also validates all of my harsh feelings about this town. He tries to cross out the terrible things that happened to me in high school by rewriting them with better experiences.

As much as I hate the town he lives in, I'm not sure I can leave him behind with it.

When I finally get to my apartment, Christina is sitting on the floor in front of the couch, wrapping presents while Christmas music plays through our bluetooth speaker. She grins when she sees me come in, but quickly shoves the present underneath the coffee table.

"Let me guess. Another of your famous scarves," I say, as I shrug off my jacket and leave it on the rack by the door.

She narrows her eyes at me. "You can act like you're surprised."

"Oh, I will. Christmas morning, I'll act like it's the most exciting gift I've ever received in my life. And I'll also act like I wasn't sitting on the other half of the couch while you knit most of it."

She huffs. "Well, consider yourself lucky to be getting one."

I collapse into the couch, throwing my feet up on the opposite side, and give her a sincere smile. "I do consider myself very lucky to have a brand new Christina Christmas scarf every year. It's my favorite thing about Christmas."

Her brow furrows. "What?"

I shrug. "I love your scarves. You always pick some fuzzy wool that's not scratchy or anything. And they're always fun colors. I think I have every single one you've given me, besides that one we learned we can't wash."

She crinkles her nose. "Yeah, that was not our best decision-making."

She scrambles up from the floor, her walking stunted by the gigantic cast she still has on one leg. I move my legs so she can plop down on the couch where they are, and she rests it on the coffee table in front of us. I drop my legs into her lap.

"So what's got you suddenly so thankful for Christina Christmas scarves?" she asks.

I shrug, pursing my lips because I'm not sure how much to tell her.

She raises her eyebrows. "Maybe a certain math teacher who happens to love Christmas too?"

"I do not love Christmas."

She rolls her eyes. "Okay, Grinch. Is it him?"

I sit up, eyeing her as I cross my legs.

"I like him."

"Certainly seemed like it with the way your tongue was shoved down his throat."

"Christina!"

"What? I'm just saying, that was borderline pornographic. And in the town square, no less."

"You know what? I'm not talking to you about this," I say, turning to get up but quickly being blocked by a cast swinging toward me.

"You sit," she says. "You have an unfair speed advantage right now, but I won't hesitate to knock you in the head with this thing, and I swear it'll hurt."

I sigh. "Don't make fun of me for it."

She throws her hands out in front of her. "Okay. I promise I won't make fun of you for confessing to me that you're in love with the exceptionally hot Clark Kent-wannabe Snow Falls High Schoolmath teacher."

My nose twitches.

She raises her eyebrows. "That's what you were going to tell me, right?"

I make a face at her. "Maybe not in those exact words. And I mean, I don't know about love ."

She rolls her eyes, waving me off. "Oh, stop. I've never seen you stare at someone all goony-eyed like that. And the last time I got you to participate in anything arguably Christmas-related, I had to buy our groceries for a month."

"In my defense, you made me dress up like the Grinch I was . I deserved free groceries for a month."

She grins. "That picture of you is one I will cherish until my dying day."

"And I can't wait for that day so I can finally delete it off your phone."

She leans back into the couch, searching for her coffee mug on the end table, and brings it to her lips for a quick sip now that she's sure I'm not going to do my best disappearing act. "So?"

I bite my lip.

"You're in love with him?"

I lean back into the couch. "I can't be in love with him. It's too soon." I rub my hand over the spot in my chest that hurts, thinking about the time we could be spending together but instead I'm here, without him. "But I'm literally aching for him."

Her face breaks. "Aw, Noelle. The tin woman found a heart."

I reach over and knock her arm. "This is why I don't talk to you about things!"

She takes the opportunity to wrap me in a big, one-armed hug, holding her coffee mug carefully out of spilling distance. "I'm so happy for you. You deserve a big love."

I shake my head. "Again, I don't know if I'd call it love . I just... I like who he is. Like, this kind of quiet guy who's nice to everybody but he doesn't hesitate to clap back at Dad–even if Dad didn't realize it. I feel like I have somebody who's truly in my corner. Who... I don't know, maybe makes it worth going back to Snow Falls every once in a while."

She nods. "I mean, I won't take it as a slight that I won't be worth visiting in Snow Falls–"

"Christina! You know what I mean. Of course I'd visit for you."

She lets out a long breath as she takes another sip of coffee. Her voice is serious when she speaks again. "Honestly, Noelle, maybe it's time you give up the angry teenager act."

I blink, my heart dropping. "My... what?"

She shrugs. "It's like your thing . You hate Snow Falls because you had a bad experience in high school. You hate Dad because he had a second family. I'm not saying that either of those things aren’t worth being upset over. They are. But Noelle, it's been almost ten years. Don't you think somebody like Nick is worth… I don't know… finding a way to get over it? By any means?"

I swallow. My sister and I mostly joke with each other–she's my best friend–but on the rare occasion she decides to deal me some truth, I know it's at least worth listening to. "How do I just... get over it?"

"That, I don't know. But Noelle, I've never seen you this happy. And sure, it boggles my mind that you’ve found happiness in Snow Falls. But don't you think maybe everything that you've been through put you in exactly the right place for something good?"

"You mean, if I didn’t get bullied in high school and move here with you, and if Dad wasn’t a dickhead deserving of a good egging, I never would have met Nick?"

She shrugs, a grin overtaking her face. "It's like a little Christmas miracle!"

I shake my head, pointing at her. "No. No Christmas miracles here."

"Come on, Noelle. Your name means Christmas. And he's Saint Nick! Don't you think it's a match made in heaven?" She starts laughing. "Wait, no! He's Father Christmas! Does he like it when you call him daddy?"

"Oh my god, Christina," I say, standing from the couch. "You are such a problem!"

She grins. "Sit down and tell me about the sex. This cast had seriously been a cock block so I need to hear it from you. All gory details included."

I roll my eyes. "Look, I have to hand out Christmas bonuses today. Why don't we get you all packed up and loaded in the car, and if you want to come with me, I'll tell you about Saint Nick with the big dick while we deliver them?"

She claps her hands. "I love bonus day! Yes! I want to be Santa!"

I snicker. "You sure know how to ho ho ho. "

I slip out of reach before she can hit me with her cast.