Christmas Eve Love Story

Eighteen

On the fifth Christmas Eve

Fa-la-la-la-la. La-la—!

Annie muted her phone, holding it up in front of her.

She squinted at the date. Oof. Of course.

Dec 24

Winter Storm Warning

She closed her eyes and groaned. She’d tried to stay up—so hard. But, by eleven thirty, she’d been exhausted and must have drifted off. Annie peered down at the floor where her paperback book had slid off the bed, landing beside the feather-and-wand cat toy. She reached over and switched off the lamp beside her bed, picking up the book and cat toy and setting them aside.

Leo “made biscuits” beside her, purring loudly and pressing his claws against her duvet.

Okay, Annie.

Think, think, think, think, think.

This was what? Her fifth Christmas Eve? Was this going to be her life? Day after day of all the same things?

Her lungs seized up.

Don’t panic.

Her view landed on her dad’s painting of her snow globe leaned up against the wall, and her mom’s soft whisper haunted her. We’re here, Annie. But they weren’t. So what did she have to believe in? Not the sad past she couldn’t change. Or her loneliness and isolation. But in the Blue Dot with Braden, the world had seemed a different place. One filled with light and possibilities. Annie fell back against the pillows and moaned . This is so hard! No matter how her day changed up, Braden seemed to be as constant as the North Star. So did other important people in her sphere, including her new acquaintances in the building.

When she saw Jane this morning, how would she behave? On friendly terms like they’d chatted before, or like they were complete strangers? And what about her other neighbors, including Harrington? Her interactions with the older man had seemed deeper last night. She hadn’t had much opportunity to chat with Eric though. But she had confirmed about his penchant for cinnamon rolls—and she was going to make him some for Christmas. Annie sat up in bed. If only she could share what she was going through with someone—anyone—and not have them think she’d lost it.

She reached for her phone and opened her message app, selecting Tina from her contacts.

Hey, it’s been a while…

No. She erased it.

Merry Christmas!

Wrong. She couldn’t ignore certain facts, like the hurt she’d caused Tina.

I want to apologize—

Better, but—a lump wedged in her throat—she needed to do that in person. Only, Tina wouldn’t be around at Christmas. She and her husband always went to his folks’ place in Maine. They did Thanksgiving with her family in Long Island.

Annie pushed back the covers.

Might as well get this day started and see what it brings.

Leo pounced off the bed and followed her to the kitchen. They passed through the hall, and she peered into the living room. His Christmas stocking was empty—naturally. And, naturally, she’d filled it. Maybe tonight she’d just give him his treats on Christmas Eve? Although that would take some of the fun out of it.

She stared at the candy canes on her tree, and her mind whirled with confusion. There were still eleven of them, meaning only one was missing. The one she’d put in her cocoa on that first Christmas Eve. She pushed back her hair, sweeping it over her shoulders. There had to be some reason certain elements of her day repeated while others didn’t.

Her “good touches” had lasted, like the augmentation to her Christmas window at work. But making chili for Harrington had been a good thing too. She strode to the refrigerator and tugged it open. Argh. No sign of the groceries from last night. The kitchen window revealed bare sidewalks and a gray sky, and a lone mug from the hot cocoa sat in her sink.

Annie prepared her coffee and sat at her kitchen table.

Leo watched her and meowed.

“Don’t worry. I’ll feed you in a minute.” Before the intercom buzzes, for sure.

Annie spun her coffee mug around in her hands and glanced toward her door. Last night, Bea had talked more about her late husband, Harry. Her daughter, Caroline, in Queens too. She clearly loved her grandkids and looked forward to seeing them at Christmas, but Annie doubted she’d get there with the storm. Maybe Annie should ask Bea over, if she had no place to go? To what? Share a turkey breast and boxed stuffing? Maybe that was better than nothing. Bea could bring her sweet potato casserole.

Annie shook her head at a gloomy thought. Maybe she’d never get to Christmas Day. At this rate, it seemed doubtful. Leo meowed again, winding himself around the legs of her chair. But no. She had to push on. She couldn’t give up now. Not with so much good stuff waiting on the other side of Christmas Eve. Building relationships with her neighbors and possibly even dating Braden. Hopefully saving her job somehow, and reconnecting with Tina. Those things would be so wonderful if they happened. “But how can we do that?” she asked Leo. How, how, how, how?

A lot of this day seemed to be out of her control, and yet she had this murky feeling that moving forward was just beyond her reach. If she could just do something . Get one part of Christmas Eve exactly right.

The cat released a plaintive meow.

“Right,” she said, standing. “I promised.”

She fed Leo without spilling his food, and her intercom buzzed. She put on her coat and boots, shoving two candy canes in her coat pocket. If only she could think of someone to ask. Someone kindly enough to listen and not judge her. Not Jane, that would be too much. She couldn’t saddle any of her other neighbors with this either. Patrice? No way. They were cordial but not close, and she’d never play this head game on Kira.

Braden? She kept itching to tell him the full truth, but something inside held her back. She’d mentioned her déjà vu feelings and he’d been supportive, but she hadn’t pushed things beyond that because she feared—what? Damaging their fledgling relationship? Having him walk away altogether? Although part of her sensed he wouldn’t do that, another doubting voice caused her to question what she would think under different circumstances, if—to her, the day seemed normal—and he tried to tell her the same things.

She wanted tell Braden everything, and she would. But first, she wanted a clearer-headed idea about what was actually happening, and why. If only she had someone else’s perspective. Yeah, right. That person would have to believe in time loops and magic too.

A light bulb went off in her head.

Santa.

***

Annie hurried through the entrance at Lawson’s, but Santa and Braden were nowhere around. She checked her front window first. Right. The living room scene had all the new touches she and Braden had added—up to what they’d included last night: the fake oatmeal raisin cookies. She started to head for the elevators but thought better of it. Whatever she did today, she was not riding an elevator at the same time as the unnervingly attractive guy. She’d totally put her foot in her mouth yesterday. She’d ride the escalator to the second floor and take the stairs to the third.

Annie stared up the set of moving steps, spotting a familiar figure. Eeep! There he is! Braden. Riding down the escalator on the other side. They passed each other with her riding up, and him going down. He did a double take and backed up a few steps. She’d removed her coat and held it in one arm.

“Hey, you!” He met her eyes. Yay! He remembers.

“Hi.” She gripped the strap of her shoulder bag extra hard. Because, well. He was just as dreamy as always. And now she’d finally left an impression.

“You’re”—he squinted at her name tag—“Annie, right?” Or not.

Her hand shot to her name tag. “Ah, yeah. That’s right.” Since she kept ascending, he backed up some more. His balance was very good. He didn’t even look down. He was holding the handrail though, to be fair.

“And you’re”—she snatched a peek at his name tag—“Braden.” He backed up another few steps and grinned. He was doing a dance now, almost in a rhythm. At this pace, he’d never make it to the ground floor.

He shook his finger, like he’d had an aha moment. “You do the windows.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, design them.”

“Yep! That’s me.” She spied the Juniors Department cresting over the plexiglass wall beside her.

“Well, they’re really great ones. Nice work.” He kept walking backward, stepping up, up, up the Down escalator.

“Excuse me!” That was Kira scooting around him and giving him a strange look. She shot Annie the side-eye, like what the heck? Annie wasn’t sure why, but Braden was obviously stuck on something. Probably too big a stretch to hope he was stuck on her.

“Thanks!” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Nice work—security guarding!” Security guarding? What? Her face burned hotter. At least I didn’t hit below the duty belt by commenting on it. Gee.

“Thanks, I try.” He started moving away from her, descending toward Homewares. He changed his mind and backed up quickly, jogging backward up the escalator to the top. The man was seriously fit. When she got there and stepped off, he said, “I—just thought of something I wanted to tell you.” He shook his head. “But then it was gone. Poof!”

“Yeah, funny. Ha! Sometimes happens to me. I mean, I think about you all the time .” What did I just say? She removed her too-hot pom-pom hat, and her hair stood out in a frizzy halo. Groan.

“Wait.” He looked enormously pleased. Not with her hair though. Blessedly, he hadn’t seemed to notice that. She patted it down, but it bounced back up. She wanted a refund for that hair product: Silky Satin Curls. Yeah, right. “Do you”—his eyebrows formed a V—“think about me?” His lopsided grin melted her heart. “Why?”

“Because, uh.” Annie held her breath. She glanced at his duty belt. No. “Safety is a priority here at Lawson’s!” It would be safest if you just kept your mouth shut, Annie.

“That’s true. Thanks for noticing”—he saw her eyes on his duty belt, and her chin jerked up—“that.” Braden’s neck went red, and so did his ears.

What is wrong with me? Seriously?

Foot-in-mouth disease?

He stared at her a moment. “You and I—” He motioned back and forth between them with his hands. “We’ve never met before, have we? I mean, before Lawson’s?”

“Ah, no. I don’t think so.”

“No, right. Of course not.” He wore a puzzled frown. “I was overseas.”

Annie nodded. “In Germany.”

Braden laughed. “Yeah, wow. How did you know that?”

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. “I—guessed?” she said with a little squeak.

“Well, you, Annie Jones, are a very good guesser.”

“Ha. Yeah.” What would he think? That she’d been spying on him? Looking him up on social media? Which she had done just a tiny bit. She hadn’t been able to stop herself from sneaking peeks at his accounts over the last few days.

No, this day. Today. Christmas Eve redux.

She’d seen photos of him with a friend, who she thought was Harper, since he had a sweet-looking wife and a cute kid. She’d also seen pics of his big Italian family, from what appeared to be one of his sister’s weddings. Everyone wore broad smiles and looked all huggy and chummy with each other.

He seemed to be thinking up something else to say when Santa walked past them, approaching the down escalator. “Good morning!”

Braden watched Santa stride away. “There’s something very familiar about that guy.” He considered Annie. “And you too, actually.”

“Ha!” Secretly though, she wondered if anything was coming back to him. Like memories of him asking her out for coffee and—later—on a date? “I suppose we’ve seen each other around the store?” Annie’s spirits flagged at his confused expression. How could he not remember any of it so far? Not even the elevator? As badly as she’d wanted him to forget that exchange, she was stupidly discouraged that he had.

“Yes, right,” Braden said. “I’m sure that’s it.”

***

Annie pulled her cell phone from her purse by her locker, and her text app stared her in the face. She’d told Braden twice now that she would text Tina “tomorrow” which was technically today in her world. But not. This was seriously so messed up. But the look in Braden’s eyes just now had been so dreamy, she couldn’t help dreaming that he was also thinking good things about her. Today, when they had coffee—

Wait. Annie’s chest tightened. What if they didn’t have coffee because they never got there? Without Braden helping her pick up her window, he might never ask. Annie released a burst of pent-up breath. No. They could have coffee one way or another. She hoped. And if not today, on account of her display—

Noooo.

She didn’t even know if there’d be a tomorrow, in the traditional sense. Which meant she had to make the most of right now . She opened her text app and accessed Tina’s icon.

Hey there! It’s been a while!

Yeah, like six months. She erased that.

Hey Tina! It’s me!

Captain Obvious. Because. Tina had Annie’s number in her contacts.

Unless.

Her throat felt raw.

She’d blocked it.

Annie quickly tapped the back button with her thumbs and closed her text app. She’d text Tina later. Maybe on her lunch break. Or tonight when she got home. After she’d made Harrington’s chili and invited Bea in for cocoa. The realization hit her with a jolt. For a typically isolated woman, her social calendar was really filling up. She’d even had coffee with a friend this morning. At least Jane was beginning to feel like a friend, in some sentimental and interesting fashion. But right now, she couldn’t dwell on that. She had to find the jolly old elf and ask him a question.

“Hey, Santa!” Annie caught his attention before he left the toy aisle.

“Yes, Annie?”

“Do you have a minute?”

He glanced toward his workshop, where his elf assistant was neatening up, preparing for the day. “Sure.”

She shifted on her feet, not knowing how to phrase this. “This has been a bit of an odd day.”

“Has it?” He checked his watch. “The day’s only getting started in this time zone.”

“Ha. Yeah.” She straightened her holly wreath pin. “That’s just the thing?” Her voice rose on the statement like it was a question. “This day, um. Seems to be—dragging on.”

Santa smiled. “Impatient for Christmas. I know. Even grown-ups feel that way.”

She was more than impatient. She was starting to feel desperate .

Santa peered into her eyes. “That’s not quite it though. Is it?”

She leaned toward him and whispered. “Something really weird is going on.”

“Weird? How do you mean?”

If she told him the truth, would he report her to management as someone losing her marbles? No, that wouldn’t be very Santa-like. He was kind and understanding. Even when people were misbehaving, and she hadn’t done anything wrong. She got an uncomfortable feeling. So, yeah. She’d lost touch with Tina. And sure, she tended to keep to herself, but those weren’t major transgressions. They were minor ones. Also, extremely personal. She drew in a breath and answered Santa. “What I mean is, today has felt off in a way that seems—redundant. Like it’s happening over and over again.”

Santa frowned. “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, Annie.”

What? Me? “I’m not, not unhappy,” she said, feeling a painful tug at her heartstrings. Lonely, maybe. Closed off—until now. A little. Unhappy though? She wasn’t some grumpy old Scrooge. That wasn’t her.

“You know what Mrs. Claus always says?” He studied her kindly. “The best way to find happiness is to search your heart.” Santa peered at the sparkly tinsel hanging on the tree in her window. “Look for those silver linings.” He turned to go, but Annie stopped him.

“But Santa! Wait!” Nothing had been solved here.

He glanced over his shoulder.

“About my display,” she said. “You keep saying it’s not quite right.”

“I think you’ll know when it is, Annie.” She felt as deflated as a week-old helium balloon. Well, what had she thought? That some store Santa was going to hand her all the answers? “I’m not just some store Santa, you know.”

Her heart pounded. Wait. How had he heard her think that?

Someone touched her arm. “Annie?”

She turned to see Braden standing beside her in the toy aisle. Santa was already halfway to his workshop. “Oh Braden, hey!”

“Hey.” He grinned, and for an instant she forgot all about the prescient Santa and being stuck in this repeat day. He held out a cell phone. “This was on the floor behind you. Is this yours?” Annie’s hands shot to her hip pocket. Her phone! It was gone. He passed her the phone, and she flipped it over, examining its back and front. Fortunately, its protective case had kept it from cracking.

“Yeah, it is. Thank you.”

“Santa Claus giving you some tips?”

She forced a laugh. “Ha, yeah.”

Braden perused the store as the various sales associates took up their positions, some of them opening registers. “Hard to believe it’s Christmas Eve already. This time of year, the days just fly by.” What she wouldn’t give to get a ticket on that plane.

“Annie.” He stared down at her. “You’re sure we’ve never met before Lawson’s?”

“Very sure, yeah.”

“Maybe you’re one of those people,” he said. “The kind folks meet and immediately believe they’ve known all their life.”

That had never been Annie’s experience.

Until now.

With Braden.

He was staring at her like he was trying to figure her out, and—ooh—how she wanted to tell him the truth. But he’d never in a million years believe her. She was still wrapping her head around everything herself, including her humiliating performance in the elevator yesterday. And that extremely embarrassing incident during which she’d landed smack on top of him. She hadn’t exactly improved her situation with her hook-up talk, or by taking the escalator either. If she was dreaming, this was one super-elaborate dream, complete with totally humiliating parts. Be nice if she could skip those.

She tucked a lock of her hair behind one ear. “Most people don’t even notice me,” she said, speaking her truth. Annie was often overlooked in a crowd, like she had been back in high school. She didn’t mind that normally. She liked hiding in her own little corner. Staying out of the spotlight. Being on stage was not for her. She was a behind-the-scenes kind of girl.

“I’ve noticed you.” The flirty glimmer in his eyes pleased her.

“Have you?”

“I’ve seen you setting up your displays, sometimes late into the night.”

“My work’s important to me. I like to get things right.”

“You’re a perfectionist.”

Yes, but what wasn’t she getting right this time? “Braden?”

“Hmm.”

“Thanks for giving my phone back.” She bit her lip. “And thanks most of all for noticing.”

He winked, and her skin tingled. “Any time.”