Christmas Home (The Coming Home #6)

27. Ruther

twenty-seven

Ruther

D espite Corey’s teasing, I was happier than I’d been in a long time. I got up early the next morning and ran a mile on the treadmill before my ankle started twinging, reminding me it wasn’t quite healed.

Not letting that deter me, I went down to the café and hoped I might see Clyde there, but no such luck, so I grabbed breakfast to go for Corey and me. My assistant was already up and madly working on the development project, so I figured I’d ensure he had something to eat.

He barely acknowledged the food, making me chuckle. Nothing showed me this was a viable project as much as Corey’s undivided attention.

I let him show me all the details, and, more than once, I wished I’d asked for Clyde’s phone number to text him. I’d asked for it once, and he’d just laughed and ignored me.

Maybe now that he’d kissed me, he’d let me have his number. Not that he still hadn’t been clear about what his expectation was regarding letting this go further. But at the very least, we were definitely friends now.

I spent the entire day happy. Even seeing my old home in the distance when Corey talked me into going to the town hall to speak to Emanual hadn’t caused me any concern. There was just too much happiness inside me for the panic to take hold.

The next day, things cooled off significantly. We went to the café at nine, but Clyde said he didn’t have time to sit with us. It didn’t look any busier than usual, so I wasn’t sure why he was skipping his break. Truth be known, the café looked slower. When I got a close look at him, though, it looked like his lip was swollen.

“Clyde, did you have an accident?” I asked as he swept past us bussing tables.

He hesitated, and his eyes clouded over. “Yeah, I fell, but I’m fine,” he said and rushed off.

Even Corey, who was mostly clueless, looked concerned, although he didn’t respond.

I showed up that evening for our usual walk, but a concerned Mrs. Cole told me Clyde had already left.

The rest of the week didn’t improve. Clyde became more closed off as the week progressed.

The project was the opposite. We’d had nothing but green lights so far. Not only did Emanual and Jake fully support the project, but they discussed it with several members of the town council, who praised the idea and kept saying how much it was needed.

By the end of the week, Corey had put a contract on the land. It was really going to happen. Or it would unless something terrible happened first, but I tried to keep any pessimism to a minimum.

Finally, on Friday night, I’d had enough of Clyde’s cold shoulder. He might not be interested in spending time anymore with me, but at the very least, I felt he should tell me so. I waited until he got off work, then confronted him. “What did I do, Clyde? I know you said you weren’t interested romantically, and I’ve respected your boundaries, but at least tell me what I did to make you not even consider us friends any longer.”

Clyde paused outside the café door, then shut his eyes. “Ruther, I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for this.”

“You do, at least time enough to tell me to get lost. If you’re done and don’t want me around, tell me, but, Clyde, I haven’t liked someone like you in years. Maybe not ever. I want to get to know you, be it as a friend or lover. But I’m getting the cold shoulder, and I don’t understand why.”

“Stop,” he said and wiped angry tears off his face. “You don’t understand, and you won’t ever. I’m a hillbilly with a past as long as you can imagine. I’ve never had any luck with a man, and you aren’t going to be any different. I told you, Ruther. I told you I couldn’t do a relationship, and you…you kissed me.”

“You kissed me first!” I said and regretted it the moment the words slipped out.

“I did, and I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry, you and I are never going to be anything more than acquaintances. Consider yourself lucky it never went further than it did.”

I watched him stomp toward the drugstore and the ATM. It took everything in me to resist following him, telling him he was a fool for not even giving us a chance, but I knew better. I didn’t know his history, but the indication that his ex was a bad guy was enough for me to know that if I didn’t let him have his space, I wouldn’t be any better.

I sighed and turned toward the condo. I caught sight of a crowd of people who’d clearly seen what’d gone down between us. Jake, Lance, Todd, Ash, Amos, and Emanual stood a few feet away, clearly about to go into the café when our argument occurred.

I shook my head and walked past them. There wasn’t anything to say. Clyde didn’t want me, and I wanted him too much. It wasn’t the first time that’d happened in my life. But if I were a betting man, I’d say it would definitely be the last.

I got back to the condo just in time to hear a panicked Corey talking on the phone. “Well, of course, he has insurance. Have you spoken to the contractor? Shit, okay, I’ll book a flight out tomorrow. Until then, have the apartment secured.”

He looked annoyed when he came out of his bedroom and saw me. “I’m sorry to tell you this, Ruther. There’s been flood damage to your apartment back home. Not much damage, but enough to cause problems with the building manager. I have to fly back tomorrow and try to get a handle on it.”

“Shit, well, I’ll come too.”

“You will? But what about…?” Corey paused, but I knew he was going to ask about Clyde.

“Crawford City seems to require a housing developer, but clearly not a lover,” I said, walking toward my bedroom. “I’m going to get changed, go down to the gym, and work out for a while. Book me on the flight with you tomorrow. I’ll stay at my dad’s place until we get the apartment situation worked out.”

I didn’t linger to see Corey’s expression. I couldn’t handle that and the loss of Clyde. I knew I’d be back in Crawford City eventually, but my gut told me even if I stayed, Clyde wouldn’t give me the time of day. He’d made that abundantly clear.

The next morning, as Corey and I got ready to fly back home, I forced myself to stand on the balcony and stare at the upper parts of the house I’d spent my early childhood in. The place that’d burned me and caused grief most of my life.

I couldn’t help but sigh in relief when no panic came on me. Instead, there was sadness, but not because of the home and its bad memories. This fresh sense of loss came from Crawford City almost giving me something I’d wanted more than anything —the love of a genuine and good-hearted man—and then snatching it away.

I cursed the town for making me feel like this, just as I’d begun to hope. I might not be facing panic attacks being this close to the old family estate, but I was facing the fact I would likely never have what I’d always wanted.

Lasting love.