Christmas Home (The Coming Home #6)

36. Clyde

thirty-six

Clyde

T he celebration in the park across from Dr. Gib and Dr. Allen’s home was amazing. I hadn’t been to a big community shindig since I was a kid, and even then, it wasn’t as fun as this one.

Mrs. Cole had helped the community put out a spread that went for days. We’d even closed the café that day so she could dedicate all our time to making sure the work was done and people were directed here instead of to the café.

Of course, I figured the café would be empty anyway, which was the main reason for closing.

The celebration allowed me to meet many of Crawford City’s residents in a different way. Even if I’d seen them in the café, I was usually running around like a chicken with its head cut off, so as I milled around, I had time to talk to people and learn about their lives. Mrs. Cole seemed to understand how important that was to me, and every time I tried to help her with the potluck, she shooed me off, telling me I needed to socialize.

It was just so strange how, after spending a lifetime alone, I was here, with friends and a community. Even though I didn’t know everyone in town, they all felt more like family than strangers. How was that even possible?

I sat down to listen to the teenagers who were performing onstage and smiled at their gritty sound. I’d never had a garage band like these kids apparently were. When I was young, an elderly neighbor used to have people over for music once or twice a month, and when my dad wasn’t on a rampage, which was rare, I’d sometimes join in. I could sing all the old bluegrass and gospel songs but never rock or modern country like these kids.

“Can I join you?” someone asked, and I looked over to see Derek, Jake’s younger brother, standing beside me. His adoptive mom was my counselor, and she’d talked enough about him that I felt I knew him personally.

“Sure,” I said, patting the chair. “Have a seat.”

He had a plate full of desserts that he dug into the moment he sat down. “They’re good, aren’t they?” he asked, looking toward the band.

“Yeah, I think they are. Do you know them?” I asked, surprised if he did since he lived in Nashville, not Crawford City.

Derek pointed at the drummer. “He and I went out for a while. Didn’t work out, but I think he’s got talent.”

“You gonna go work for your big brother scouting out talent and such?” I asked, mostly teasing since I knew he and Jake seemed to be carbon copies of one another.

“Nah, I’m going to law school.”

“Cool,” I said and leaned back to watch the show.

“Did you hear that a descendant of the city’s founder is moving to town? Jake was talking about it this morning. They wanted him to come this weekend and do some keys to the city thing, but he’s too busy selling up and stuff.”

I shook my head, only half paying attention. “No, I didn’t know that. The founder’s descendant. That’s a long time ago, huh?”

“Yeah, but his family kept a house here for, like, decades. That’s where Chris and Roth live now. They renovated it.”

It struck me then who Derek was talking about. “You mean Ruther?”

Then I remembered. Rutherford Crawford. Crawford …as in, Crawford City. How had I not put two and two together?

“Yeah, you know him?” Derek looked genuinely surprised.

“Well, yeah, he was here in the summer. Came to the café a lot. Didn’t you meet him?”

Derek shook his head. “No, I was busy with summer school. I was trying to get caught up after taking a semester off.”

“Nice guy, you’ll like him. I didn’t know he was descended from the town’s founder, though.”

“Yeah, Jake also said he’s a nice guy, doing some big project here in town too. His attorney, Justin, said I could hang out with him when they put the legal stuff together. So, it’s all cool.”

“Ahh, yeah, I know Justin too,” I said, but didn’t elaborate on how I came to know the town attorney. “Well, I think I’m going to go check the food and make sure they don’t need me. Catch ya later.”

I wasn’t sure why learning that Ruther was headed back to town was hitting me like this, but I figured I might need to wrap my head around it before he arrived. I silently thanked Derek for letting that cat out of the bag, and after snagging a couple of cookies, I hightailed it back to my apartment to take a break.

I planned to return to the party later, when Roth and Chris were scheduled to perform. That was hush-hush since the town didn’t want a million reporters or rabid fans to show up, but Lance had told me when it was going to happen, so I could make sure I was back by then.

I lay back on my bed after finishing the cookies and stared at the ceiling, enjoying the sounds of the music that drifted into the normally still apartment. Ruther was coming back to town. He was doing the project he and Corey had been working on.

I wondered how long he’d be here and, for a moment, wondered who I could ask. Then I shook the thought out of my head.

First, it was only a matter of time before the gossip got to me anyway. It was Crawford City, after all. Second, I needed to focus on my feelings about that. Figure out what I felt, then process it with my counselor and group. The tiny spark in my heart told me I wanted Ruther more than just as a friend or acquaintance. I needed to find out if that was possible for me before he showed up and I fucked up all the progress I’d managed to make.

I laughed again as Matt playfully picked a fight with Logan over the grape harvest. The class had been more fun than I’d expected. Logan and Matt had such good personalities and were clearly in love, so they seemed to bounce off each other as Logan droned on and on about how to find only the ripest, sweetest grapes to pick.

“Mrs. Cole, you’re sure you can spare me?” I’d asked her before signing up for the harvesting class. “According to Logan, we’ll be harvesting Monday to Wednesday.”

“Baby, we’ve got things covered, and I know you’ve connected with Matt and Logan. Go on and have fun. You’ve earned it.”

I chuckled at her shooing me out of the café. I’d helped her make an extra batch of cinnamon rolls that I could take with me to the class. I’d done that a couple of times when I wanted to bring something to my group sessions, so she’d just smiled when I showed up early this morning and didn’t say a word as I pulled down an extra pan and began helping her knead the dough.

“You know, I could take this over from you,” I said, making her laugh.

“Honey, if you work one more hour, I’ll be paying you overtime. You do enough, just keep on doing what you’re doing,” she’d said. The same thing she said every time I brought up taking on more responsibilities.

She was right. I worked forty hours and often popped down to help when I wasn’t on the clock, but mostly when she wasn’t around to fuss at me. Still, she was very flexible with my schedule whenever I needed, like for my support group sessions. Truth was, I loved the café and spending time there, clocked in or out. I loved everything about this little town.

Mrs. Cole wasn’t wrong about me needing more social time either. Counseling and the group had taught me that I needed to build my circle of support outside the therapy window. I’d been working on that, not that it was too hard with folks around Crawford City being so friendly and welcoming.

That was one of the reasons why I wanted to take the grape harvesting class. “Okay, I’m going to divide you into pairs. Those who’ve done this before, you’ll be in charge of the newbies,” Logan announced.

He walked up to me, then scanned the room for an experienced partner. His gaze landed on a woman I only knew as being engaged to Lia, the winery’s store manager. “Millie, you’ve got Clyde,” he said.

“Have no fear, newbie. I’ll show you the ropes,” Millie said, bumping my shoulder. “If we linger here any longer, Logan will go into another lecture about the sugar content of each grape. We’ll never get any harvesting done.”

“Hey, I heard that,” Logan said.

“I don’t take it back. Let people get some work done and stop your yammering,” Millie said, her lips curving into a smile.

He just shook his head and walked on, causing Millie to laugh out loud. “We’re first cousins, in case you didn’t already know, and the guy has always been long-winded. Come on, I’ll show you where to start.”

I loved working alongside Millie. She talked about her life, including graduating from law school only to find she didn’t feel the calling to work in a courtroom. “I’m lucky there are plenty of other legal jobs out there,” she said.

She’d taken a job with the former judge in Mayville and was even doing some real estate work in Crawford City. I immediately wondered if she’d met Ruther, but I didn’t ask.

Everything seemed to come back to Ruther these days. I’d been talking to my counselor about allowing myself to have another relationship, and she’d been encouraging. “Just watch for the signs,” she’d cautioned.

The group had said the same but were much more pessimistic about it. I guess living the life was different from helping others process it.

Harvesting took less energy than I thought. My uncle James used to rent land from his neighbor and do what he used to call truck patching, which involved a hell of a lot of work that, more often than not, I got recruited for. Free labor and all.

This wasn’t anything like that. Sure, the chiggers could get you, but as long as you sprayed really well, they seemed to leave you alone.

I loved watching the grapes go through all the fancy machinery at the end of the day, prepping them for the…I couldn’t remember everything Logan said. I lost interest when he started getting into the details.

Eventually, I wandered out and plopped down on the bench out front to eat some of the sandwiches Mrs. Cole sent over for the occasion.

“So, what’s goin’ on?” Amos asked and sat down next to me, digging into his own sandwich. I’d ridden to the winery with him and his husband.

“Oh, nothin’ much, just enjoying the scenery.”

“Must be different from running around the café all hours of the day and night, huh?”

I just laughed. “Different kind of work, but still work. I love it, though—the café, that is, not the farm work.”

Amos laughed too. “Takes a special kind of person to want to spend their lives working the ground. I never felt the calling, but I’m glad our boy Logan has.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I don’t know much about wine, although it’s interesting. I grew up with beer drinkers, with the occasional moonshine thrown in.”

Amos looked up at the fields. “My parents and grandparents were from the islands and loved their rum. My mom and grandmother were the fruity drink types. I don’t know why, but I didn’t get into any of it. If it weren’t for Emanual, I don’t think I’d drink much at all, other than a nice cold beer after a hot day’s work.”

“Nothing wrong with a cold beer. How long have you and Doc been together?” I asked, referring to the mayor by his nickname, as nearly everyone else in town did.

“Oh, since we were kids. Off and on. Took us a long time to make it permanent, though.”

I let that seep in—two men in a relationship that’d lasted a lifetime. “So, what’s the secret of staying together that long?”

Amos laughed. “Ain’t no secret except you got to keep trying and apologizing, and don’t let your pride and anger keep you from working through things. At the end of the day, what’s worked for us, I think, has been friendship and the fact I can’t imagine my life without Emanual in it.”

“I reckon I never really thought lovin’ someone my entire life was possible. My mom stayed with my dad even though he was abusive, until he left her for someone else. My sisters got divorced shortly after getting married. Not even my grandparents lasted, so I don’t have a lot of role models.”

Amos sighed. “Ain’t that many gay role models. More than there used to be, but society’s been pushing us apart since the Middle Ages. Listen, if you find someone you love, you dig in, work hard. Don’t let nobody knock you around, that’s no good, but if someone treats you right, and you treat them right in return, there ain’t nothing better. Take it from me. I pushed Emanual and everyone else away for years, then when I finally let him in, let my family in, my life changed for the better. And that’s a fact.”

I wanted to ask more questions, but mostly because I wanted to hear the full story about the mayor and him. Logan called us back into the barn, though, to show us the next step in the process after the grapes got washed.

Despite being bone-tired, I lay awake that night thinking about what Amos had said. The world did seem to be pushing men who love each other apart. The entire LGBTQ+ community, in fact, but some had survived.

This town was full of men who’d overcome the hatred the world threw at us. Images of Ruther came back to mind, and this time I smiled. If he was coming to town, I was going to enjoy getting to know him again, and this time, there would be no running away.