Christmas Home (The Coming Home #6)

39. Ruther

thirty-nine

Ruther

I ’m not sure how I thought that would go. I had no intention of telling Clyde about my burns or the trauma. Now that I look back, it’s a miracle I didn’t go into a full-on panic. Except maybe he’d been so candid about his past, about the abuse he’d endured as a child and from his lovers, it seemed appropriate to tell him about my own issues.

I’d been convinced that I no longer thought of myself as a monster. I’d told the therapists I’d overcome that, but when faced with the incredibly handsome man in front of me, the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

At first, I thought Clyde was throwing false platitudes at me, then he’d asked to see the scars, which I was so not ready for. I almost stood up to go, but I’m glad I didn’t.

Listening to him share his story, it was clear he really had known some monsters in his life. When he told me that treating other people badly is what made monsters, not simply having scars, it struck a nerve but in a good way.

We cuddled in the little chapel until the light faded, then walked back to the mill and my car. We drove back to town hand in hand, but stayed mostly quiet. I guessed it was because we had a lot on our minds. I pulled up in front of the café after Clyde told me he’d taken an apartment above it.

We both leaned in and I kissed him hard, then rested my forehead against his. “You’re an amazing man, Clyde, and you’ve done more for me just by being yourself.”

He didn’t say anything, and I could feel he was getting emotional, so I stayed close a few moments longer, then whispered, “See you tomorrow at nine? Is that still your break time?”

He chuckled. “Good memory. Yep, and I’d love nothing more than to spend it with you.”

I leaned back and grinned at him. “Do I still need a chaperone?”

Clyde snorted. “No need to worry about that. If we get too randy, Mrs. Cole will douse us with mop water.”

“Eew,” I said, and we both laughed.

He leaned in again, took my mouth with his, and then pulled back and winked. “See you tomorrow morning,” he said and climbed out of the car.

I watched him disappear around the back of the building, then I drove the short distance to the condo. Clyde was so much, and I didn’t think I could ever get enough. God help me, he was an incredible man.

“Like a glove,” I said to Corey after he asked how I was fitting into Crawford City. He’d spent the last few days in Nashville finding a place to live. Our contractors, Randy and Cliff, were helping him find somewhere he would have easy access to their offices.

“I’m glad things are going good, because, well, I don’t want to stress you, but—”

I cocked my eyebrow. “Spit it out, Corey,” I said when he seemed hesitant.

“The librarian, the one we sent all your father’s stuff to, he’s…he found something I think you should see, but you should let him show you.”

I paused and stared at my new business partner. “What’s this about?” I asked.

“The investment and your heritage, I think.”

“Can’t you just tell me?” I asked, sad that I was taking the coward’s way out.

“I could, but I don’t have all the details. He does, and if we’re going to be part of the Crawford City community, shouldn’t you—?”

I nodded, knowing what he was going to say. “I should, and yes, you’re right. I need to meet with the librarian and get it out of the way. But if this is about my dad, something nasty, I shouldn’t be meeting with him about that before I have a gentler meeting, don’t you think?” I asked before he turned back to his laptop and the email I assumed he was about to answer.

Corey looked back up at me. “I’m sorry, Ruther. I didn’t think. I believe they just found some photos about the town. Nothing dramatic or anything like that.”

I sighed. “Okay, well, that’ll make this easier. But I’m not ready to discuss the house. Meeting with the librarian is fine, just not…no house stuff yet.”

“Understood. I’ll make that clear.”

I returned to the bedroom and paced. The curtains were drawn, and I hadn’t been able to look at the view of the house since I’d been back. Knowing someone lived there was a lot to digest. Meeting with them, knowing they were living in that space, was almost more than I could handle.

The knock on my door shocked me out of my head. “Yeah?” I replied.

Corey opened the door and stepped inside. “May I offer a suggestion?” he asked.

I nodded, not really paying attention.

“Why don’t you ask Clyde to join us tonight after he gets off work? He seems to make things less stressful for you.”

I stared at him. I had thought that myself but hadn’t voiced it, and it was strange that Corey had picked up on it.

I sat on the edge of the bed. “I wish this wasn’t so hard. You’d think after all this time, I’d have gotten past it.”

Corey shook his head. “Listen, boss…” He stopped and smiled before regaining his composure. “Listen, Ruther. I’m impressed at what you’ve accomplished in such a short time. If having your guy close by helps, ask him.”

I nodded and ignored Corey’s slip of almost calling me boss. Things were still relatively new in our new relationship. Good, but new for both of us.

“You’re right. Okay, so, this evening at the library?” I asked, and Corey nodded.

“Yes, Chris said he was working late, so you can come in anytime.”

“I’ll go over to the café and ask Clyde if he’ll come too.”

“Go over? He doesn’t have a phone yet?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but he hasn’t given me the number.”

Corey looked down and didn’t respond. I’d been trying not to let the fact that Clyde still hadn’t given me his number upset me, but apparently, even Corey thought it odd and it was, considering that’s something even strangers didn’t hesitate to give out.

“I’ll let you know what he says,” I replied before heading to the café.

Clyde was smiling at one of the guys from town, and, for a moment, I had to push down my jealousy. No, don’t be that guy , I chastised myself. He’s dealt with that enough in his life .

When he glanced over and saw me, his smile grew even wider. He excused himself and came over to where I was standing.

“To what do I owe the honor?” Clyde said, the formality of the question sounding funny with his accent.

“I have to meet with the new owners of my old home, the one—” Clyde’s smile dropped, and he put his hand on my shoulder. “I wondered if you’d join me.”

“Of course, honey. I’d be happy to. When and where?”

I had to catch my breath from having him call me honey, but I managed not to make a scene. “It’ll be at the library. I was hoping to go tonight.” When I said it, he told me to hold on while he checked with his boss.

He disappeared into the back and returned a moment later, smiling again. “Mrs. Cole said she doesn’t need me after four, so come get me any time after that.”

I nodded and kissed him before I thought about it. His cheeks blushed adorably, which warmed all the cold parts of me.

Corey was right, again. Having Clyde with me made things better. I didn’t understand why, but I didn’t need to. It was enough for me that he did.