Christmas Home (The Coming Home #6)

49. Ruther

forty-nine

Ruther

I was so disappointed when Clyde slipped out of the town hall before we could talk. I tried not to make that mean he didn’t care. He’d come. That was something, right?

The attendees talked until nine o’clock, when Doc and the council kicked us out, saying they needed to lock up. I think people would’ve asked questions or talked my ear off more if they’d let us stay.

Jake and Lance invited Corey and me up to the roof of their condo, and we sipped Champagne. “So when do you start?” Jake asked.

“January second. That’s when I want to have the ribbon cutting.”

“Wow, you don’t mess around.”

“New chapter,” I said and looked over at the mansion that had been a part of so many of my nightmares. It was beautiful from this vantage point. The burned parts must’ve been rebuilt because it looked like it did in my memories. Yet, it wasn’t as sinister.

Corey and Jake chatted beside me as I pondered the house. I had one more demon to fight. One more to overcome if I was going to make this place my home. That house .

“Do you think Chris and Roth would let me see the renovations they’ve made to their home?” I asked, causing everyone to look my way.

Jake nodded, but Corey sat up. “Are you sure, you don’t—”

“I do. We’re doing something special, Corey, something I hope to be doing for some time. Unless I face what happened, I will always be afraid.”

He glanced toward the mansion, gleaming in the lights Chris and Roth had used to accent its pillars, then looked at me.

“If you’re serious, I can call and set it up tomorrow.”

“I am. I’m ready.”

Corey reached over and patted my knee. “I’ll be there for you. You know that.”

I smiled and nodded. “Gentlemen, this has been a wonderful day. But I think I’m going to turn in. Thanks for all your help, and Lance, your amazing designs are what made it as easy as it’s been.”

He smiled at me and nodded. I headed back downstairs and got into bed, fighting off the panic that’d swept across me now that I’d committed to tour my ancestral home.

Sweat popped out across my forehead, and, for a moment, I could feel the burning. Then I remembered Clyde sitting in the back of the room. His face smiling at me. I’d forgotten that he smiled throughout the presentation and Q and A.

The panic subsided, and although I was still very anxious about what I’d just committed to, I knew I could do it. I wish Clyde and I had cleaned things up because I would prefer to do that with him, but even if we never did, I was so much stronger now than when I’d first come to Crawford City.

I closed my eyes and instead of fire engulfing me, I felt love. That’s exactly how I fell asleep—feeling loved and accepted.

The next morning, I woke to Corey singing in the kitchen and I climbed out of bed, happy to be greeted by a latte. “I made this for myself, but you have it. I’ll make another,” Corey said.

I laughed. He had started drinking his the same as I did years ago and had spent all those years bringing one to me each morning.

I sat down after thanking him and took my first sip. “Corey, you do know how thankful I am to have you doing this project with me, don’t you?” I asked.

He paused and looked over at me. “I…to be honest, no, I didn’t know. Not for sure. All these years, I’ve worked for you. You’ve always been there for me, and I appreciate it, but I’ve wondered if maybe you didn’t regret making me your partner.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve missed the signs, but I apologize for not being more forthcoming. Corey, I love you being my business partner. I wouldn’t have taken this project on without you and your abilities to keep a project on track. I can’t wait to do this with you.”

Corey smiled and went back to making his latte. “Oh, this was lying on the floor when I got up,” he said, handing me an envelope with my name on it. I opened it and smiled when I saw the handwriting and Clyde’s name on the bottom.

I felt the happy tears slip down my face as I read it. When Corey sat across from me, I showed it to him. “I think I might be in love, Corey.”

He chuckled. “Tell me something I didn’t already know.”

“Am I an idiot? He’s so much younger and so good-looking.”

“And you are just as good-looking and smart, and not that much older.”

“I struggle with self-esteem issues, and apparently so does he.”

Corey put his hand over mine. “I think most people do, and that’s not a reason to not pursue a relationship with someone you care about. Now, if you want my opinion, you should go to the café this morning around nine and spend a few minutes with him. Then you need to set up a time you and he can work through some of this, just the two of you.”

I nodded. “You’re right, as usual. Thanks, Corey.”

He got up and patted my back. “I’m going to head back to Nashville and meet with Cliff and Randy to let them know it’s a go. I’d like them to begin buying supplies before the spring building rush begins. Oh, and I’ve talked with Amos and Todd. They said we can use their storage since they’re general contractors. The fact that the hardware store and their storage are attached to the property we’re building seems perfect, huh?”

“It does. Okay, thanks, Corey.”

I checked and had just enough time to shower and get to the café before Clyde’s break. I was on the verge of walking out when Corey looked up at me from his phone. “Um, sorry, but Jake just texted. Roth and Chris want to know if you’re free this afternoon to tour the house.”

I swallowed hard but nodded. “Yeah, I can do it this afternoon.”

“Then I’ll stay another day,” Corey said, much to my relief. I could use some support if I was going to do this, especially if I had a panic attack.

“Um, Corey, would you mind letting them know I might not be able to do a whole tour? It might be too much.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll go talk to Chris while you’re visiting Clyde.”

I nodded. “Thanks. I’d hate to make a scene.”

He gave me an understanding smile as I slipped out the door.

When I showed up at the café, Mrs. Cole beamed. “Ruther, it’s so nice to see you, and I heard the best news about last night. Do you want your usual? I’ll go let Clyde know you’re here.”

She didn’t wait for an answer, just disappeared into the back. I chuckled despite the harrowing news that I would be touring my nightmare this afternoon. I was staring at the salt shaker, lost in my thoughts, when I heard Clyde clear his throat next to me.

His face fell when I looked up. He sat down and, in a whisper, said, “You’re telling me you don’t want me, aren’t you? That’s okay, I understand.” Tears pooled in his eyes, and I quickly took his hand.

“Oh, no, Clyde, I’m here to tell you I love you too. I want you. Hell, I need you, Clyde. It’s just…well, it’s bad timing, is all. I was stupid enough to tell Jake I wanted to tour my old home. He texted Corey right before I came here to inform me Chris and Roth can do it this afternoon.”

Clyde looked stricken, then quickly got up and went to the back. I didn’t know what he was doing until a few moments later, he came out carrying one of Mrs. Cole's famous cinnamon rolls topped with enough butter to bake a cake.

“Mrs. Cole has given me the afternoon off in case you want me to come with you.” He grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee. “Now, tell me how you’re feeling.”

I laughed as I looked at the roll. “If I eat this, I’m going to feel sick. Here, at least eat half of it.”

Clyde smiled but didn’t dig in. “Ruther, are you okay?” he asked, and I had to push back my own tears.

“I’m fucking freaked out,” I whispered so as not to upset the other people with my cussing—something they didn’t tolerate here like they did in New York.

“You’d have to be, Ruther. Um, why now?” he asked.

“Because I love this town, and I love you, by the way. I think that got buried before. Your letter. I love you too. I love you so much.”

He reached over and squeezed my hand, then quickly came over to my side of the booth and snuggled in next to me.

“I’ve been such an idiot, Ruther. I want you to know it wasn’t ever you. Well, maybe it was you, but more like you being too good for the likes of me.”

“Stop that,” I said as I put my arm around him, pulling him into my side. “No one is too good for you, Clyde. Certainly not me.”

He chuckled and wiped away tears, which I hoped were happy tears.

“Okay, so can I do this with you? Today? Can I be there for you? ’Cause, damn, this is big. You know this is big, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m the one freaking out here.”

“I know, dammit, but you won’t be doing it alone, not if you want me.”

“Thank God,” I said and kissed his forehead. “I was really hoping you’d say that.”