Christmas With Kris Kringle

Chapter 4

I stood on the edge of the food court seating area, tray in hand. The stares I received while I scanned the space for an empty seat caused a blush to creep across my cheeks. Adjusting my hat, I hoped to shield my face with the dangling pom-pom. In the full Santa getup, I stood out like a sore thumb at a regular thumb convention, so gawkers and comments were bound to follow.

“Santa over here,” The shrill voice of Tyler, the mall security guard, called from across the food court. “Pick me Santa, I’ve been a good boy.”

Ducking my chin, I swept the area once again looking for better options. I preferred to find a quiet corner and eat alone while scanning through emails. I’d just spent the last four hours listening to the screams, cries, and fits of exhaustion from pint-sized humans.

“Wow that’s cold-blooded, bro,” Tyler yelled out once more, as passersby continued to stare.

I grunted a sigh walking over to Tyler’s table. “Hey man, what’s up?” Setting my tray down, I took a seat.

“Same shit different day. How’s everything going over at the Winter Wonderland?”

“A kid peed on my lap this morning. But other than that it’s been peachy.”

“Damn, you’re a better man than me. They couldn’t pay me enough to bounce runny nosed brats on my knee all day.”

I shrugged. “It’s not so bad.”

“Shiitt, kids are germ factories. The Santa pool has your odds at three to one that you end up getting the flu, hand, foot, and mouth disease, or colic before this gig is over.”

“Wait, people are betting on my immune system?”

The radio attached to Tyler’s shirt blared a message. “Hey, Tyler where you at? We got some teenagers in the parking lot jamming up traffic.” Tyler lowered the volume, turning his attention back to me.

“Don’t look at me like that. We play this game every year. Winner gets a stocking stuffed with mini bottles of liquor.”

“Did you vote against me?”

“Dude, I’ve only known you for five days and you had that coughing fit the other day, so …”

“The other day? Water went down the wrong pipe. I wasn’t sick.”

“Still it’s a sign of weakness.” Tyler balled up his burger wrapper.

I met Tyler on my first day. He was talkative and I was a man of few words, so it worked out nicely. Tyler got to talk and I wasn’t forced to answer questions. But there was a question I was dying to ask him.

“So what’s the deal with Belen?”

Tyler shook the ice in his almost empty cup. “What do you mean?”

“Like generally what’s her deal?”

He hacked out a laugh. “Bro, you don’t stand a chance.”

“What?”

“Women like Belen don’t date guys who wear costumes to work.”

“Who said anything about dating?”

“What were you trying to get a better understanding of her political affiliations?” Tyler rolled his eyes.

A muscle in my jaw throbbed. “Thanks for the unsolicited dating advice.”

“Oh you want advice? She’s out of your league. She’s in the hall of fame and you are on the bench. Scratch that … you’re not even a player, you’re like the mascot or something.”

“Wow, that’s fucked up.”

“Just trying to save you the trouble.”

“Thanks, but I can take care of myself.”

Tyler sucked in a breath of air through his teeth. “Speaking of trouble, there’s the delectable Ms. Goodwin and it looks like she’s coming our way.”

I turned my head to the direction Tyler was pointing. Belen was walking toward us, her hips swaying side to side as she moved through the crowd.

I’d hoped to see her today. While Belen was the event coordinator, she didn’t run the day-to-day activities on the floor. That was handled by my boss Steve, who ensured the families moved through the line and spent as much money as possible on photo packages and specialty items before they left for other parts of the massive mall.

“Hi,” Belen greeted us. Her smile took up half her face.

“What brings you out from the key card protection of management?” Tyler asked.

Belen highlighted the beverage in her hand. “Hunger. I forgot my lunch at home.”

“Do you want to sit?” I asked, pushing away Tyler’s tray.

“I don’t want to impose.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Tyler was just leaving.”

Tyler shook his head in surprise. “I was?”

“Yeah, you have to assist with the kids in the parking lot.” I flashed him a look, hoping he’d catch the hint.

With a defeated hoist of his shoulders, Tyler stood. “I guess my lunch break is over. See you two later. Kris, remember what I said.”

“Yep mascot, got it.”

Belen sat with a smoothie in hand. “What was that about?”

“Oh he was just reminding me of my place in the food chain.”

“I’ve always found it best to ignore sixty-eight percent of what Tyler says.”

“Good rule of thumb.”

“Not going to lie, it’s kind of weird seeing Santa eat mall sushi at the food court.”

“Santa’s gotta eat too. How do you think I stay so jolly?” I wriggled my eyebrows.

“I thought you were jolly because you loved bringing happiness to millions of children across the world.”

“Nope, it’s food and Mrs. Claus’s fat ass.” My expression remained even but internally I was cringing at my crude joke. Yes, this was a seasonal gig, but there was still universal office etiquette that needed to be followed. Talking about asses, even fictitious ones, was definitely an HR no no.

Belen threw a curious look in my direction. “So what does Mrs. Claus think about you working as a mall Santa?”

I did my best to suppress a grin. Women who were out of my league didn’t ask probing questions like that. “Uh … there’s no Mrs. Claus. Past or present.” Was that a smile she was attempting to prevent from curving her lips? “What about yourself?”

“No, there’s no Mr. or Mrs. Claus in my life.”

“That’s good.” I bit the inside of my cheek.

“Is it?”

“Yeah, dating can be a distraction. And most relationships end, making the investment a complete waste of time.” This was not the way you convinced a woman to go out with you by warning her that you would most likely be a time suck with no tangible value.

“That’s a glass half empty take if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Even I have to admit that was a little dark.”

“Huge red flag. You probably shouldn’t lead with that next time.”

“Next time with who?”

“Any woman … human, really. Love is a waste of time, is a horrible pickup line.”

“Noted. Hopefully I’ll get a do over?”

Belen’s body posture perked up.

Checking my phone, I still had twenty minutes before I had to return to the throne. “I need to stretch my legs. Do you want to join me?”

“Sure.”

Belen

“Why do you smell like piss?” I asked, as we circled the mall.

“Occupational hazard.” Kris frowned.

I tried to hold back the laugh rumbling in my chest. The thought of his reaction when that warm liquid made contact with his thigh pushed me over the top and I covered my mouth attempting to soften the sound of my amusement at his golden shower. Even though he smelled like a gas station restroom, I was happy I’d run into him at lunch. He was a fun distraction, nothing more, just a little harmless flirting to boost my confidence.

Sure there was a ton of work waiting for me back at my desk, but I was content taking a stroll with Kris. I imagined we were a peculiar site. An imposing melanin-rich Santa, and me, a vertically challenged Christmas elf. Shoppers stared as we passed by and a couple of kids waved and called out “Hi Santa.” Kris, as if on cue would reply, “I hope you’ve been good this year” or “Ho, ho, ho, hello friend” in his deep booming voice. His acknowledgment caused the child to smile and look at Kris in awe.

“So when you’re not breaking and entering into people’s homes, what do you do for work?”

“I’m kind of in the middle of a micro retirement.” He shook his head from side to side.

“What’s that?”

“Essentially, I’ve excluded myself from the workforce while I pursue the things that interest me.”

My posture slumped slightly. Why was it always the fine brothers who were underemployed and living in their mother’s spare room? Not like it mattered, I wasn’t looking to start another office romance. I’d learned my lesson with Aiden. When we met he seemed too good to be true. Handsome, well dressed, actually into dark-skinned Black women. But his pedigree and personality did not align. Aiden was selfish and narcissistic, and in the bedroom he was a taker, never a giver.

I had an eligible dating pool the size of a four-mile radius and Kris was smack dab in the middle of it. A long-term relationship was the last thing I was looking for, but it would be nice to have someone on call to stuff my stocking when the need arose. An added plus, Kris would be gone after December twenty-fourth so we couldn’t even categorize it as an office romance, maybe more like an office fling.

“So you’re retiring from what exactly?”

“It’s a micro retirement.” I got the sense this wasn’t the first time he had to explain the concept. “I work in tech.”

“Is the tech industry on the decline?”

“No, far from it. I created this app. People liked it and eventually I sold it.”

“You sold it? To who?” My normally brisk pace slowed to match Kris’s casual stroll. He was never in a rush. It was as if he had all the time in the world. Like he was on a perpetual vacation.

“ The New York Times .”

“Wait what? You’re an app developer?”

“Yeah, I’ve created dozens of apps. Some I keep and they just generate income and others I eventually sell.”

I had so many questions. Primary of which was why would an app developer take a side gig as a mall Santa? Perhaps it was research for his next app. “So this app you sold, what was it called?”

Kris offered a smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Uhm … Wordbop.”

I stopped in my tracks, grabbing his arm with a squeeze. “You created Wordbop? Oh my God I’ve been obsessed with that game for months.” Wordbop was a game that took the country by storm. Everyone was addicted to it. There were news articles and features on the morning chat shows about the dictionary-based word game. Chloe and I would touch bases each morning comparing how long it took us to guess each word.

Wordbop was part of my nighttime routine. Shower, brush my teeth, perform my nightly skincare regimen, and then crawl into bed and work on my Wordbop of the day. When I lay it out like that, my nights sounded kind of pathetic. But in my defense … okay I didn’t have a defense. This was exactly why I was single, because I was more invested in my cozy bed than meeting new people.

“Why did you make the levels so hard?”

“They’re not hard, we selected common everyday words.”

I released an exaggerated cackle. “I’m not even certain all of them were real words.”

“They’re all in the dictionary.”

“Ducat, aglet, pople?”

“All words, easily found in the dictionary.”

Easy my ass. My face lit up. “Wordbop of the day. Five letters.”

“Okay.” He fixed his brown eyes on me and we shared a happy smile.

“I’ll give you a hint, it’s another word for mall.”

“Plaza?”

“Seriously?” I threw my hands in the air.

“I told you it’s not a hard game.”

“You cheated,” I said, noodling him in the arm.

“How when you made up the word?” He laughed. You’d think the finger I was pressing into his strong bicep was more of a tickle.

“Next time it’s gonna be hard, like head scratcher difficult.”

“I look forward to it.”

I made a mental note to Google little-known words I could stump him with in the future. “Why’d you sell it? People love that game.”

“I mean it was The New York Times , kind of the definition of an offer you can’t refuse.”

“And so you took a micro retirement to be a mall Santa?”

“To be a mall Santa, to parasail in Brazil. To run with the bulls, which I chickened out of.”

“That sounds nice.” I’d been working since I was thirteen. The longest vacation I’d ever taken was when I took my sister, Celeste, to Disney World four years ago. I wasn’t a workaholic, but the thought of taking that much time for myself was unsettling. My mother died when I was ten and my father often worked twelve-hour days. I was forced to grow up and look after my sister. Adulthood was just as complicated but now I was expected to pay my own way.

“It is. One day I had an epiphany. Most people who work can’t wait to retire because they believe they’ll have all this time to do exactly what they want when they want.”

“I know people who have retirement countdown clocks even though the big day is years away.”

“A colleague of mine worked all his life right out of high school. He was a brilliant man who finally decided to retire. There was a party, we had cake, people wished him well on his future endeavors and three week later he was dead.”

My eyes grew wide. “I’m so sorry. I’d imagine something like that would shake you up.”

“It woke me up. And I knew I no longer wanted to just be a cog in the wheel. So the micro retirement was born out of necessity to actually start living my life.”

“That makes sense. But I have to be real with you if I could take extended time off, I don’t think I’d spend it dressed as a make-believe character.”

“You should, you would make a beautiful fairy, ghost, or princess. If you dropped your shoe at a dance, I would definitely come looking for you.”

A warmth flushed my face as I absentmindedly fidgeted with my necklace. “Thank you.”

I could sense myself doing that thing I always did. A cute guy shows me attention and I start smiling uncontrollably and mentally imagining us in hypothetical make-believe situations. While Kris spoke about the massive Lego installation on the West end of the mall, I imagined his big strong hands ripping my seafoam green flower embroidered cardigan from my bodice while he reprimanded me for being naughty and threatened to punish me. I was just at the part where he was about to spank my bare ass when I was yanked out of my daydream by a voice yelling, “Free samples.”

Turning to the young man in front of the shop, I swiped a piece, popping it into my mouth. Who doesn’t love a sweet treat?

“Oh Belen no,” Kris yelled, a horrified look on his face.

Followed by the store clerks pained exclaim. “Ma’am?”

I rolled the item in my mouth a few times before gagging. “What is this?” I murmured.

The store clerk cringed. “It’s soap, ma’am. You just ate soap.”

I closed my eyes, sensing my gag reflex kicking in. My body heaved as I tried to tamp down the urge to barf all over Kris’s boots.

Reaching for a napkin, Kris cupped his extended hand under my mouth. “Spit.”

I pushed the waxy, rainbow-colored ball of soap into his hand with my tongue. “That was disgusting.”

“It was also embarrassing, don’t forget embarrassing,” Kris teased.

Smacking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I said, “I don’t possess the ability to be shamed. But if you tell anyone about this, I will tell them a kid pissed on you and you walked around the mall in piss-soaked pants for the remainder of the day.”

Kris leaned in until our foreheads practically touched. “Your secret is safe with me.”