Christmas with my Three Best Friends (Lucky Lady Reverse Harems)

Chapter 5

5

Shay

I t’s been a while since I’ve sat down with Cassandra in her office. Her private practice is a lovely, generously illuminated space on the east side of Seattle, nestled between residential buildings with restaurants and cafés lining the ground floor. Giant spruce trees poke out of the park nearby, their dark green spears shooting for the gray winter skies as I melt into the sofa, admiring them from the other side of the glass. It smells of vanilla and jasmine in here—one of Cassandra’s favorite incense combinations.

“I’ve missed you,” Cassandra says.

“I know, I’ve missed you too. It’s been so busy at the gym lately. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get together as much.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t apologize. I know what it’s like to get a business up and running.” She smiles wickedly at me, wiggling her eyebrows. “So how have things been since you accidentally emailed the list to the guys?”

“Richard called a meeting tomorrow evening.”

“And you think it’s to talk about that?” She’s trying so hard not to laugh.

“Hey, you’re the one who encouraged me to write it in the first place,” I chuckle dryly.

She nods once, holding back a hefty chortle. “I figured you’d use pen and paper, not a whole ass Word document.”

“I got lazy. My laptop was on at the time…”

“Shay, it’s okay,” she says. “You already know their reactions. They weren’t spooked, they weren’t weirded out nor put off, were they?”

I shake my head. “No. On the contrary. That’s why I’m on edge, actually. They seemed super into it, and Marius, Jax, even Richard have all changed their attitude toward me. Dramatically, might I add. I didn’t expect any of it.”

“You mentioned your little episode with Marius already. And the tatami moment with Jax,” Cassandra says. “And you also mentioned Richard’s words after Alice was late again. You’re noticing the whole pattern, right?”

“Yeah. I’ve unleashed something, and I don’t know how to handle it. I mean, it’s one thing to fantasize about being with three hot men at once, but it’s a whole other thing for said fantasy to accidentally become a reality.”

“Have you thought about the naughty list from a different perspective?” Cassandra asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the items listed on it came from your head, right?”

I nod again. “Yeah.”

“And where did your head, your mind, come up with a foursome with Marius, Jax, and Richard? Think about it. You’re close friends and business partners. You see each other every day. And they were there for you through thick and thin. When Vincent disappeared, they were there to pick up the pieces, to keep you upright and on your path, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Don’t you think your dynamic has subtly shifted in the past six months without you even realizing it? Have you considered that maybe you thought of a foursome because of the slight signals they might’ve been unwittingly giving you?” She sits back, arms crossed as she makes her point. “Marius is an expressive man. His eyes alone speak volumes. I’ve seen him and spoken to him enough times to read him like an open book. And frankly, I’ve known he’s got the biggest crush on you since I first walked into that gym.”

I gasp. “Oh, wow…”

“Seriously. He’s head over heels, honey, but cautious. I can’t blame him. We all remember Roxanne, right?” Cassandra shakes her head.

“He was loyal to her.”

“Loyal doesn’t mean he loved her,” she points out. “I think Marius found something in her, something he couldn’t have with you because you were too busy being gaslighted by Vincent.”

“Ouch…”

“The truth hurts. But let’s circle back to the foursome fantasy. Shay, think about it,” Cassandra replies.

I do think about it for a moment. I can’t exclude the possibility that the concept might’ve seeded somewhere deeper in our friendship, especially in the past six months. My journey of self-growth and healing has brought parts of me to the surface I’d never been aware of. The guys noticed, and they often complimented me about it. I specifically remember Richard telling me one morning that he thought I’d grown more in the past six months than in the last two years.

“So, I wouldn’t have thought about a foursome with Marius, Jax, and Richard if I didn’t already know, somewhere deep down, that they’d actually be into it,” I conclude.

“Doesn’t that sound reasonable?”

“It does.”

“Therefore, having this concept at the forefront of your consciousness in this moment, how do you feel about them accidentally reading the list?” Cassandra asks.

“Listen lady, you’re sounding too much like a therapist right now. I’m not your client,” I tease lightly.

“No, but the hat is hard to take off, especially here in my office. My question still stands, though.”

And it’s a good question to ask again, now that the mindset has shifted. “I’m… glad. Holy crap, I’m actually glad they got the list.”

“Why is that?”

“Because now they know how I feel, sort of. I mean, it runs a much profounder course for me,” I tell my friend. “But the desire is there. I want them, all three of them. And I’m glad they got a glimpse of my sexual side, I guess.”

“A side you’ve never really explored.”

“It’s the kind of stuff I’ve wanted to try since before I met Vincent. But because I’ve always been so guarded and afraid to open myself up... So, the fact that Marius, Jax, and Richard know about it… I think I like it.”

“You like it?”

“Yeah. I like that they know where my mind’s at, sexually speaking. They know I’m willing to take the next step and explore my sexuality.”

“It’s about time, too. You’re willing, Shay, but do you feel ready?”

I feel my lips stretching into a confident smile. “Oh, yeah.”

“Then what’s the point in feeling embarrassed about the naughty list? The three of them are willing to help you fulfill every bullet point on that thing,” Cassandra says. “Why not embrace this knowledge and let the universe guide you?”

It sounds somewhat hokey, but it also rings true. Every inch of me desires those men—and not just their bodies, though I’d rather start there and see where it could lead. Our bond is tight enough as it is. Why did I fool myself into thinking they might not respond to my naughty list the way they actually did? I braced myself for failure as soon as I realized what I’d done.

“How do you feel about tomorrow’s meeting, then?” she asks.

“Not as anxious as half an hour ago,” I laugh.

“Good. Listen, Shay, you’ve already got what it takes to grab life by the balls, but you have to let go of your shield and sword for a hot second and simply enjoy yourself.”

I shrug. “What’s the worst that could happen, huh?”

“You’ll be on the receiving end of what I hope are three phenomenal cocks.”

We stare at each other before bursting into raucous laughter, throwing our heads back, wheezing and gasping for air as we revel in our own dirty jokes. I needed my best friend’s advice more than I knew. I do feel better.

Granted, I’m still pretty terrified of the potential outcome and how it might affect my professional relationship with Marius, Jax, and Richard. I’m still worried about damaging our friendship, as well. But there really is no harm in giving this naughty list a go, especially if the three of them have already expressed their interest.

Like Marius said, there’s no putting this genie back in the bottle.