Christmas with my Three Best Friends (Lucky Lady Reverse Harems)

Chapter 14

14

Shay

T here’s no denying things have shifted in ways I’d hoped they never would.

I was convinced I was completely over Vincent, yet in the past couple of days I’ve been bumping into his ghost in most of my thoughts. I even had a dream about him, a memory resurfacing and making me feel incredibly guilty.

I don’t have any feelings for him anymore—I’m absolutely certain of that. But he’s still occupying more of my mind than I would like him too. And I think the same is happening for Marius with Roxanne.

Marius said she means nothing to him. That we’re together. I want to believe that, and I do know he is stubbornly faithful. Yet I fear he is plagued by the same doubts as me, these fleeting moments of uncertainty. There shouldn’t be any. We’re a team. There are four of us in this dynamic, and that week in Chappaqua only served to solidify the bond, but because we all agreed we’d keep it strictly physical, I’m starting to think the emotional factor may be messing with our heads and hearts.

“You don’t want Vincent back,” Cassandra says as we walk to the gym. She has a training session with Lyle. “It’s obvious you have deep feelings for Marius, for Jax, and for Richard.”

“I’m not sure if my feelings for them are a good thing, though. We are trying to keep things simple.”

“And only physical, yeah, I know, you’ve been reciting that mantra for quite a while, and I’m frankly amused you actually think I might believe you,” Cassandra scoffs.

We enter the reception area and get her locker key first. Alice isn’t here yet, but Lyle showed up earlier and is happy to assist. I feel bad since he’s only a trainer and certainly not paid to do Alice’s job, but since I can’t fire her yet, all I can do is thank him as Cassandra and I head into the locker room to change. I’ve got my morning cardio to deal with, while she’s on her second strength training session with Lyle.

“Even if we try to keep our feelings out of it, I don’t know… Something has changed since Vincent showed up. Not to mention Roxanne. That was one hell of a day, let me tell you.”

“Shay, it’s just an unpleasant coincidence,” my best friend says as she changes into her black tights and oversized cotton t-shirt. “If anything, consider this a stepping stone. A moment for you to reflect on the past and on how much you’ve healed since Vincent left.”

I nod slowly. “I don’t want him back.”

“You’ve said it before, and I believe you. But I also know there is still a part of you that grieves for him, for what could’ve been. And that part of you may be responsible for whatever doubt you’re dealing with. The what if he’s different? What if he’s really changed? That part.”

“Do you think he’s changed?”

Cassandra takes a deep breath, hands resting on her bony hips. “Honey, a narcissist doesn’t stop being a narcissist. And given Vincent’s aversion to the basic concept of therapy, his toxic misogyny, and his track record with you alone, I have solid doubts he even regrets hurting you.”

“So what is he doing back here, talking about winning me back?”

“It’s just fluff,” she says. “He couldn’t find a better source to feed his ego and his poisonous vanity, so he’s trying to see if he can have another go at you. You do understand this man is incapable of healthy love, right? Don’t you remember how he used to treat you?”

“How could I forget?”

For every moment of affection, he would give me a week’s worth of silent treatment and discomfort. For every date, he would spend days belittling me and diminishing my accomplishments, constantly devoted to making me feel small and worthless compared to him. For every soft word spoken, Vincent would double-down with micro-aggression and subtleties designed to make me question my own self-worth. He was impossible to please, yet I gave him my everything. I lost myself trying to keep him by my side because he’d made a habit of threatening to leave me whenever I did or said something that didn’t suit him personally.

“As for Roxanne, you really don’t need to stress yourself over her,” Cassandra says.

“Do you think she’s got a shot at Marius?” I ask my friend in a low voice, careful so Lyle doesn’t overhear any part of our conversation.

Cassandra shakes her head and chuckles lightly. “Shay, that man is willing to share you with two other men just so he can be with you. I sincerely doubt Roxanne can even hold a candle to you.”

“Are you ready?” Lyle politely interjects, his gaze fixed on Cassandra.

She raises her water bottle and smiles. “Give me a minute to fill this up.”

“Alright. I’ll go in, then,” he replies, then looks at me.

I nod amusingly. “Don’t worry, Lyle, I’ll cover reception until Little Miss Muffet shows up.”

“Thanks, Shay.”

“No, no, thank you,” I say.

Cassandra fills up her water bottle and leans on the desk. “My point is… Try not to overthink anything happening right now. Coincidences are just that. Coincidences. What matters is how you deal with them, and how you, Marius, Jax, and Richard deal with each other.”

“Was Chappaqua too good to be true?”

“Not necessarily. But that kind of bliss never lasts. It’s often intertwined with reality, with other people, with stress and the struggles of everyday life,” she says. “It’s normal, it’s natural. Every relationship is like that, no matter how many participants. We have fears and doubts, we have skeletons in our closets, and we have varying degrees of anxieties as to where it will lead.”

I lower my gaze. I’d hoped this conversation would make me feel better, but the knot in my stomach is only getting tighter. Muffled grunts and growls erupt from the martial arts room. Jax must be in there for his regular morning training sessions. We haven’t spoken much since Vincent popped up. We’re due for a group date soon, but things keep getting in the way. The uncertainty isn’t helping.

“Thanks, Cass,” I reply with a heavy sigh. “I’ll see you after your training session.”

“Are you gonna be okay?” she asks, concern glimmering in her voice.

“Yeah, definitely. I think I need more coffee today, that’s all.”

She smiles and disappears into the gym. Marius is already in there with clients of his own, and I’m pretty sure Richard is busy taking calls in his office.

With a shaky resolve and hoping that today will be better between the four of us, I go about making myself a second cup of coffee. I listen to the machine’s brewing rumble and watch the soft, brown liquid pouring until a familiar voice draws my attention.

“Hi, Shay,” Roxanne says as she walks into the reception area.

I swallow a string of profanities and force myself to offer a pleasant smile instead. I’m pretty sure I’ve barely pulled off a grimace, but it will have to do. “Good morning, Roxanne. Welcome back,” I reply. “Let me get you a key…”

“Thanks. You look fantastic, by the way,” she says, extracting a gym pass out of her wallet. “You’ve dropped some more pounds since I last saw you.”

“Yeah, it’s a work in progress. I haven’t checked the scale lately, though. I don’t like to define myself by the number on that thing.”

“That’s a good outlook. How have you been?” Roxanne asks.

“Oh, crazy busy with this place,” I reply. “Just a lot of work, self-work, and more work in between, but I like where it’s going, so there’s no better motivation. How about you?”

She puts on a wide grin, and I can’t ignore the shivers suddenly running down my spine. I don’t know if she does it on purpose or it’s just part of her nature, but Roxanne has a way of creeping the hell out of me with her intensity. From what Marius told me, she tends to be a passionate woman, and not necessarily in a good way. On top of that, she holds an incredible amount of disdain for anyone she may perceive as competition.

“I’m determined to patch things up with Marius. I don’t know if he’s mentioned the conversation we had the other day,” she says. “He seemed pretty open to giving it another try.”

I know she’s lying through her teeth since Marius clearly said he has no intention of ever letting her back into his life. But damn the doubt that has been slithering through my heart lately.

“Really? He didn’t mention it,” I reply.

“Yeah. I apologized for my past behavior. That was my greatest hurdle, truth be told. Marius is such a good and honorable man. He was faithful to me, regardless of all the floozies he’s inadvertently surrounded by at this gym. I let my own insecurities get in the way, but I’ve been working on myself over the past couple of months. I’m in a better mindset.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re working on yourself.”

“The fact of the matter is… What Marius and I have, it’s unique and strong. The time we’ve had apart has only strengthened our bond. I felt it between us the minute I walked in here the other day, and he’s been so responsive to my messages, as well.”

“He has?” I may have just given myself away here, but the words came out before I could put a lid on. “You talk on the phone, then.”

“Oh, just a few texts here and there,” she says. “I know he’s coming around. We were even talking about having lunch one of these days.” She pauses and measures me from head to toe. “I gotta say, Shay, you look absolutely stunning. I mean, you obviously still have some work to do, but you’ve got curves in all the right places.”

For a moment I’m absolutely stunned into silence. Did this bitch just call me fat?

“At least you’re not Marius’s type; otherwise, I would’ve had to worry about you.” Roxanne laughs lightly. And there it is. The carefully measured dose of venom she’s been saving for me. “He likes his women petite and slim. It’s a good thing you’re just friends, huh?”

I’ve been so focused on giving Roxanne the deadliest stare I can muster that I didn’t notice Vincent coming through the double doors. “Actually, Shay is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met, and any man would be lucky to have her.” He gives me a playful wink. “Good morning, beautiful. I’m here for a brief sauna session before I head into the office. Can I get a locker key?”

“Good morning,” I manage, then hand him a key.

He watches me closely as I scan his pass and leave it in the appropriate box, while Roxanne’s lips remain pressed into a thin, tight line.

“As I was saying, Shay doesn’t need to be concerned about being anyone’s type,” Vincent adds. “She’s so much more than her looks, unlike some women,” he says, staring pointedly at Roxanne.

“Yeah, whatever,” Roxanne scoffs and heads into the women’s locker room.

I can’t believe I’m actually thinking this—thank the stars Vincent showed up and cut her off.

“I meant every word,” Vincent assures me with a stern nod. “Granted, I overheard some of the conversation and figured she was trying to make you feel bad. Small-minded people do that. I used to do that, remember?”

“I could never forget,” I reply bluntly.

He’s about to say something else, but Jax comes out of the martial arts room wearing only a pair of dark green shorts and a sheen of sweat covering his muscular torso, tattoos glistening under the overhead lights. “Shay,” he says. “We need to talk.”

As if summoned by the universe itself, Alice finally arrives with a sheepish smile and a high-pitched voice, rushing into the reception desk as if nobody noticed how late she actually is.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she mumbles, quick to take her coat off before she gives Vincent a warm and bubbly smile. “Hi, there. How can I help you?”

“He’s already taken care of,” I reply and leave her with her duties.

Vincent watches me and Jax as we go into my office. I can feel his eyes on the back of my head. My skin prickles all over, but I keep my head up high and my ego intact. Besides, there’s something about Jax’s attitude that puts me on a different kind of edge. Less than an hour into my workday, and I’m already overwhelmed and hyper-stimulated. It’s going to be a long end of the week, that much is painfully obvious.

As soon as I close the door, Jax stops in the middle of my office and turns around, a grim look on his face. “What’s the deal with that clown, Shay?”

“Who, Vincent?”

“What other clown was there?”

I frown slightly. “Why are you mad?”

“Because I remember how badly he hurt you, Shay. I don’t understand why he’s even allowed to set foot in this place. I have a mind to snap his neck like a chicken.”

“Please, don’t,” I reply, trying to sound more upbeat and failing miserably. “We need clients, Jax. Even the likes of him. Besides, he’s harmless.”

“I heard him sucking up to you.”

And then it hits me as I look at Jax and notice the nervous muscle ticking in his stubbly jaw. “Oh, Jax… You’re jealous.”

“Not jealous. Ill-tempered when it comes to assholes trying to get into your pants.”

I’d laugh, but Jax is too bothered by this whole situation, and I know better than to stoke the fire. I’m also irked by the whole idea that I’d be foolish enough to take Vincent back, especially when Jax, Marius, Richard and I are together.

“He can try,” I tell Jax. “It doesn’t mean he’s going to get anywhere.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Jax… Did Chappaqua mean nothing to you? Friday night? Monday night? All the other moments we’ve had together?”

He stills, suddenly realizing where this conversation may lead unless he slows down. “Shay, I don’t want that bastard anywhere near you. I’d ban him and Roxanne in the blink of an eye. She’s a menace to our relationship, too,” he says. “I’m not a jealous man, but I know to kick any kind of trouble away as soon as it emerges.”

I don’t like where we’re headed. There is too much tension, too much doubt, and it’s causing strife between us. The last time Jax and I were alone in a room, he fucked me so passionately, I almost cried tears of joy. Now he’s all hard edges and threats. I cross my arms and walk over to the window, unsure how to handle this shift in our dynamic.

“I should be on the treadmill,” I tell him. “And I certainly don’t want to argue about Vincent.”

“You don’t have to argue. You just have to let me kick his sorry ass out.”

“Jax, I can’t do that. Marius and I agreed we need to be professionals for the sake of our business. Forget our personal lives for a moment and really think about it. Can we really afford to send people away? Oh, and don’t forget, if we kick Vincent out now, what kind of a public review do you think he’ll post about us? We can’t take a PR blow like that. We simply can’t.”

Jax curses under his breath and walks over, light on his feet and storms raging in his blue eyes. He takes me in his arms and kisses me deeply, harshly, hungrily. I moan against his lips, welcoming his rebellious tongue as it wrestles mine. I am soft against his rippling chest, our hearts thudding furiously as he runs his fingers through my hair and tightens his grip on the back of my neck.

I feel his cock hardening, pressed against my lower belly, as he pushes me until my back is glued to the window. Here’s to hoping nobody outside looks up and sees us. Jax trails biting kisses down the side of my neck, one hand fondling my breast through the soft t-shirt.

“You’re not getting back with him, you hear me?” he growls, pausing for a moment so he can look at me. I’m breathless and flustered, liquid desire trickling between my legs as his hand slips downward and under my gym tights. “We have an agreement, and you’re going to honor it.”

“What agreement?” I whisper.

“You’ve yet to receive the first item on your naughty list,” he says.

“It’s not like you have some kind of dominion over me,” I reply, trying to protest, but as his fingers slide between my wet folds, I feel the last of my defenses crumbling. “Oh, shit… Oh, right there…”

He rubs my clit with added pressure before he penetrates me with two fingers, letting the base of his palm drive me over the cliff. He finger-fucks me so hard and so fast, all I can do is lock my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life as I feel the orgasm working its way outward from my tightened core.

“I have you for as long as I want you, Shay,” Jax says, his voice low and commanding.

He doesn’t know it, but Vincent once said the same thing. I can almost hear the words echoing in the back of my head. The moment is lost, and I let the simmering anger take over as I push Jax away. I’m edging, close to climaxing and unable to reach it on my own. My knees feel weak, my legs shaking as I try to catch my breath.

“You don’t have me, Jax,” I manage between sharp inhales. “This is just physical, remember? That’s what you, Marius, and Richard wanted. You don’t own me, and I don’t own you.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is!” I snap. “This thing between us isn’t going to work out, not in the long run, so there’s nothing for you to be jealous about.”

Jax’s eyebrows shoot upward in surprise. He needs a moment to process the words I just threw at him. His breath is ragged and uneven. Some of his sweat drips down my jawline and into my cleavage. His rough, masculine scent lingers in my nostrils. And my pussy is in desperate need of his attention. He scoffs and shakes his head, his eyes never leaving mine.

“There is something seriously wrong with us, and it started as soon as that prick came into the gym. What the hell were you and Marius thinking? Are we really so desperate that we can’t turn Vincent away?”

“Yes.” I take another deep breath. “But Vincent isn’t the problem anymore. It’s how you seem to think you own me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“No, you said something Vincent used to say. You have me as long as you want me. No, you don’t have me. None of you have me, and I don’t have any of you. We agreed to keep this strictly physical.”

Realizing the mistake he made, Jax glances to the side. The weather outside is cold and gray, and there is barely any light coming through the window. He’s standing in a heavy shadow as he tries to analyze this moment. I make a move to head back out, determined to get on my treadmill in lieu of an unfinished orgasm, but Jax isn’t done with me.

He grabs me and kisses me—softly, this time, despite his sudden grip. I wish he’d say something to maybe reassure me that we’re okay, that we’re going to be okay, but our bodies are doing the talking now. It’s primal and shameless, yet I cannot stop it. My own flesh responds, the heatwave rising as it blows through my veins.

“We should…” My voice trails off as he pulls my gym tights down with a single, swift move, then turns me around and bends me over the desk.

“Take care of yourself,” he commands me, guiding my hand so I can touch my clit.

I try to object, I try to get up, but I can’t. My own body won’t let me. I hear the shuffling sound of Jax’s shorts hitting the floor, followed immediately by his gargantuan cock slamming deep inside me. I cover my mouth to muffle the gasping scream of raw pleasure as he starts pounding into me. The desk jiggles with each thrust.

My hand, my fingers… they move without my permission as I rub my clit and push myself into a much-needed release. It’s quick and explosive, my pussy tightening around his cock and rippling relentlessly as he fucks me into the stratosphere.

He goes deeper, faster, harder. I can barely stand yet I don’t want him to stop. I keep flicking my clit, squeezing every drop of this orgasm as I bite my lower lip. He has me. He has me, and I hate to admit it. I feel his cock throbbing, I listen to the sweet sound of his moans of pleasure as he comes, filling me with his warm, salty seed.

I crumble over the desk, covered in sweat, as Jax claims me. He has me for as long as he wants me.

Dammit. I was adamant that he doesn’t have me. None of them have me, and this will never work out in the long term. Yet as I feel Jax stretching and filling me to the brim, as I surrender to him … I understand the horrible truth.

He does have me. They all do.