Christmas with the Grumpy Alpha (Feuding Hearts Christmas)

7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Lena

My eyes open.

What a dream that was, I think to myself with a small chuckle, beginning to get up from bed and then freezing instantly.

I glanced around in confusion. I’m not in my own room. I’m somewhere else, with a strange quilt draped over my body.

Confused, I turn sideways and find him lying beside me, his eyes closed serenely, his chest rising and falling.

It all comes rushing back.

Oh God, that wasn’t a dream? Was it real?

What have I done?

The memories, which were so fiery and passionate last night, are now embarrassing and downright humiliating in the bright morning as I remember them.

And I remember it all, each sigh and moan that slipped out from my lips, each tender part of my body his fingers explored, each time his lips kissed mine until they were sore and raw.

I will never recover from this. This is it. It’s all over for me, and I will never hear the end of it from Daphne, that’s for sure.

I look sideways at Tanner again, and the shame is so intense that I cannot bear to keep my eyes on his sleeping, sexy as sin body. I turn away, terribly naked and exposed beneath this blanket, right in the middle of enemy territory.

What have I done?

My dress is on the far side, hanging from the sofa near the opposite wall. My lingerie is there too, the lacy black clothes glaringly visible in the light.

I close my eyes and remember Tanner peeling them from my body, while I gasped every time his fingers grazed my skin. I want to gasp now too, but from horror, not excitement. I can feel the heat in my core rising, and I start to yearn for more.

Leave. Leave now, Lena, and never return. Perhaps you’ll be able to salvage some self-respect if you do that, and still be able to show your face to the world.

I rise from the bed and tiptoe over to the sofa, where I quickly put on my undergarments and clothes. And then I grab my heels from the floor and silently creep my way to the door.

“Where are you going?”

His voice causes me to jump. My hand freezes on the doorknob. My heart lets out a surprised yelp. But I don’t turn around. I can’t. I can’t face him now, after what we did. After the terrible mistake we made.

“I’m going to my room,” I answer, in a flat voice.

“Why?”

For a few moments there’s no reply, while I stand there and wonder what to say.

“Because last night was a mistake,” I tell him at last. “It shouldn’t have happened, but now that it has, it will never happen again.”

“Lena…” I hear the rustle of the blanket being thrown aside, and him sitting upright in bed. His voice comes to me again, genuinely confused. “Why?”

Because I was in love with your brother. Because I have already had a train wreck of a relationship with one Wilde brother, and I don’t intend to do that ever again. Hell, I am still trying to recover from it.

The sentence hangs between us, unspoken yet deafeningly loud, crowding the room with its dark presence, making it impossible for both of us to be there at the same time.

“Lena, I understand that you and my brother…” Tanner’s voice is cautious as if he’s treading on broken glass. “But he’s moved on. And so should you.”

Out of nowhere, a burning resentment for Tanner rises within me at those words. Right then, I wish he’d said anything, anything but that. Even a sarcastic comment from his old snarky self would have been better.

Anything would have been better than this soft, sympathetic tone he used with me. The kind of tone Daphne uses too, sometimes, when she sees how lonely I am.

And I hate it. I hate the pity that drips from it. I hate the way it makes me despise myself.

“Thank you for your sudden concern for my life,” I tell Tanner icily. “But I’ll be fine on my own. I don’t need your relationship advice because you clearly don’t have it all figured out either.”

Before he can say anything that might anger me further, I storm out of the room and slam the door shut in my wake.

In that same furious state, I stride down the corridor, my face a mess of smudged mascara, my hair a chaotic wildfire, and my eyes seething with fury.

No one crosses my path that early in the morning, lucky for them, and it's not until I reach my floor that I finally run into a crew of workers in the hallway.

I’m so caught off guard by the sight of them that it takes me a few seconds to realize there’s a giant tree smashed through the side wall. When I finally notice it, I just stand there, staring in disbelief.

What the hell?

The thing is huge. And it’s broken through the lodge wall and roof, shattering everything in the process.

Early morning light streams through the giant gash in the building’s architecture.

There is a bed of wooden splinters and debris smothering the floor, crunching loudly beneath the boots of the moving workers.

“What the hell happened here?” I take a step forward and immediately freeze as the building’s floorboards creak beneath me.

Suddenly, I’m not sure how much damage that fallen tree has really caused.

“Ma’am.” A man in a crisp black suit and tuxedo comes briskly towards me.

He’s wringing his hands before him while he walks, eyes constantly darting to the sides, taking in the ruin the tree has caused.

“Ma’am,” he speaks again in an I’m-as-shocked-about-this-as-you-are voice. “I’m the manager of the hotel, and unfortunately, this side of the building has suffered an accident. Is your room on this wing?”

I nod numbly, imagining myself lying in bed, being startled awake by the thunderous crash of a mountain of wood striking the walls. It might have happened if I hadn’t been with Tanner last night.

“Ma’am, at the moment, access to that side of the building has been blocked.” The man looks at me apologetically. “As you can see, we’re working to clear this mess as soon as we can.”

I glance behind him towards the workers, and I wonder just how in the hell a mess like this is going to be cleared without the help of heavy machinery.

“How did this happen?” I ask the man. “Was anyone hurt?”

Relief washes the man’s face. “No, ma’am, no one was hurt, thankfully. All we have are a few damaged belongings and inconvenienced hotel infrastructure.”

Inconvenience might be an understatement.

I give the mess in the hallway a final glance before returning my attention to the man.

“Okay, fine. Do I go to the reception, then, to be assigned a new room?”

The apologetic smile on the man’s face widens, and now he looks truly sorry.

“Ma’am, as you know,” he wrings his hands nervously some more, “due to the wedding, the hotel is fully booked at the moment. There are no spare rooms available.”

I give the man a blank look, before snorting out a laugh.

“So…what?” I say confusedly, spreading my hands. “You want me to leave the hotel or, like, sleep in the hallway or something?”

“Absolutely not,” the man answers. “Since you’re also here as part of the wedding crew, perhaps you could find someone to share a room with until this mess is resolved?”

Oh no. Surely not.

“Share a room with someone?” I echo, suddenly feeling like the tree hit me instead of the hotel. “But who?”

The man gives me a look of politely disguised irritation. “Perhaps you could stay with one of your friends or family members?” he suggests lightly.

“But I…” my voice cuts off midway. The look on the man’s face is clearly telling me that I’m being a hassle right now, considering the gravity of the emergency he’s involved in.

“Okay,” I say softly, “I’ll stay with someone else then.” The smile reappears on the man’s face, as if he’s been rehearsing it all his life.

“Thank you for your patience and understanding, ma’am,” he tells me. “Now, if I can just know your room number, I’ll try to have your belongings sent to you as quickly as possible.”

“Room 314,” I say automatically and then wince. “No, wait. Sorry. Room 205. That’s my room. Room 314 is someone else’s.”

Used to be someone else’s, a voice within me whispers slyly. Now it belongs to both of you.

I turn away from the man and begin walking back in an entirely different fashion from how I had entered the hallway. I am no longer storming forward, angry and impatient.

Now, my steps are hesitant and timid, like a child in a school reluctantly going to face punishment. And it is a punishment, the room that I am headed toward. My own personal punishment for what I did last night.

There is no running from it.

There is no hiding from it.

I guess I will swallow my pride and share a room with Tanner.