Christmas with the Grumpy Alpha (Feuding Hearts Christmas)

11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Lena

“So, where to begin?”

Tanner leans forward and pats my hand comfortingly. We’re sitting in his room, cross-legged on his bed, with a room service tray of food and a generous bottle of whiskey between us.

The food has remained untouched for the most part, but the whiskey is already down one-quarter.

I can feel that shared quarter buzzing inside me, softening the sharp edges of all those memories of the past I’m dredging up.

“You can begin from the start,” Tanner tells me gently. “We have all the time in the world, and there’s nothing special to do this evening. Plus, I really want to get to know you better.”

I take a deep breath, bracing myself for the flood of emotions I’m about to unleash. “Okay,” I begin slowly. “When Derek and I first met, it was intense. You know the fireworks, raging hormones, and all those thrilling things that come at the start of any relationship. He knew exactly what to say, how to make me feel special. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could be a part of something.”

Tanner listens quietly, but I notice his grip tighten slightly on his glass, his knuckles turning pale as he takes a long sip of whiskey.

He tries to mask it, but I catch the way his shoulders stiffen as I mention Derek.

I pause, my eyes catching the flicker of tension in his. “Tanner?” I ask, unsure if I should continue.

He clears his throat, setting the glass down slowly. “I’m listening,” he says, his voice calm but a touch strained.

His eyes meet mine, but there’s something darker lurking beneath the surface now.

I continue, feeling the subtle shift in the air between us. “It felt so real back then... but I guess things were more about the excitement than anything lasting.”

Tanner nods, his eyes never leaving mine, offering silent support as I continue.

“You know that I’m a rogue wolf, never part of a pack, and that’s always suited me just fine. The only exception has been Daphne. She’s like my sister, but other than that, I don’t do relationships or family ties.” I pause, taking a sip of the whiskey to ease the tension building in my chest.

“But Derek was different. He said all the right things and, for the first time, made me believe in something more. It didn’t take long for me to start thinking maybe I could make an exception for him.”

Tanner’s gaze sharpens slightly at the mention of his brother, but he stays quiet, listening.

“But things started to change pretty quickly.” I shake my head, bitter memories rising to the surface. “Not long after we got together, Derek became all about ‘pack business.’” I use my fingers to make air quotes.

“He would tell me he had to travel for assignments, visiting other packs across the country. It wasn’t long before I was barely seeing him at all, and when I did, it was like I was just there to take care of things for him while he was away.”

Tanner frowns, confusion creasing his features. “Wait... pack business? Derek doesn’t travel for assignments. I mean, he does some outreach, but not like that. He’s never been involved in anything major outside of our own pack. What are you talking about?”

I blink, my stomach twisting. “He told me he had responsibilities outside of your pack. That he was strengthening ties with other packs across the United States, and he was literally gone all the time.”

Tanner’s frown deepens. “No... no, that doesn’t make any sense. I would’ve known if Derek had been traveling that much. I never ordered or approved any assignments for him.”

His jaw tightens, and I can see the gears turning in his head, piecing things together. “Are you saying he lied to you about what he was doing?” He asks.

“I’m saying that everything about our relationship became a lie.” My voice cracks, and I take another sip of whiskey, the warmth dulling the ache. “He wasn’t just traveling for pack business, Tanner. He was... he was off chasing other women. Sleeping with them. All while stringing me along.”

Tanner stiffens beside me, his hand tightening around his glass. “What?”

I nod, my voice trembling but steady enough. “I didn’t know at first, of course. He made me believe he was dedicated to your pack, to me, to us. But then, out of nowhere, he says he has to end things. He tells me he wants to focus on finding his fated mate, as if that was his grand purpose all along. And I believed him... until I found out that he had already been searching for his mate the whole time. Traveling to different packs, sleeping with other women, all while keeping me in the dark.”

Tanner’s jaw tightens, the anger in his eyes unmistakable. “That son of a—”

“I know.” I cut him off, taking another drink. “It was like being hit with a wrecking ball. He wasn’t who I thought he was. I was just... convenient. Someone to keep things in order while he went off and did whatever the hell he wanted.”

Tanner curses under his breath, shaking his head. “I can’t believe he would pull something like that. And behind my back too.”

“That’s not even the worst part,” I continue, my voice lowering. “When Daphne and I arrived for her wedding, I saw the email invitation on her phone. From Derek’s new fiancée.”

Tanner’s head snaps up, his eyes widening slightly. “You read it?”

I nod. “Yeah. And in that email, Derek told his fiancée that I’m trouble. That I might show up and try to cause problems, to ruin their wedding. He’s spread all these lies about me, making me out to be some crazy ex.”

Tanner’s mouth falls open slightly, the disbelief plain on his face. “What the hell...?”

“I know.” I let out a shaky breath. “It’s like he’s trying to rewrite the story, make me look like the villain in all of this when he was the one cheating and lying the entire time. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to deal with all of this. I thought I could handle seeing him again, but now... I don’t know.”

Tanner’s expression darkens, and I can feel the protective energy radiating from him. His wolf is growling beneath the surface, just like mine would if our roles were reversed.

“This whole wedding is about alliances,” Tanner mutters after a moment, more to himself than to me. “Strengthening pack ties. Derek’s not doing this for love. He’s doing this for power. It’s always been about power with him. That’s why our parents are so thrilled about the marriage.”

I narrow my eyes. “You think Derek’s up to something?”

Tanner shrugs, but there’s a sharp edge to his voice. “If he’s been going behind my back, lying about his so-called pack assignments and chasing after women from different packs, then yeah, he’s up to something. Probably trying to make a name for himself and get ahead. This wedding is just another move for him. He’s not thinking about finding the person who will make him happy—he’s thinking about finding the person who will make him look good.”

I let out a soft laugh despite myself, shaking my head. “Yeah, well, apparently, being happy and in love wasn’t on his list of priorities.”

“Apparently not,” Tanner agrees, his grin softening. “But for what it’s worth, Lena, you deserve better than that. Way better.”

The sincerity in his voice takes me by surprise, and for a moment, I just stare at him, the warmth in my chest spreading. I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything at all. Instead, I reach for the whiskey bottle, refilling both of our glasses.

“Let’s drink to that,” I say, raising my glass.

Tanner raises his as well, clinking it against mine with a soft smile. “To better.”

As we sit there, the room quiet except for the soft clinking of our glasses and the crackling of the fireplace, something shifts between us.

It’s subtle, but it’s there—a deepening connection, an understanding. And for the first time since all of this started, I feel like maybe... just maybe... I’m not as alone as I thought.

Tanner looks at me long and hard, taking in the weary lines segmenting my features. “I think we need a change of atmosphere.” He announces suddenly, jumping to his feet.

“What are you doing?” I ask, looking up at him.

“Cozying things a little.” He heads over to the fire crackling in the hearth and throws a few more logs into it. The flames sputter and hiss, as if appetized by the meal and asking for more.

Tanner tosses in another large chunk of wood for good measure before picking up a small contraption from the corner stool and beginning to fan the flames.

They rise higher and higher, greedily sucking up the extra oxygen and expanding. Soon, the whole room is encased in a rich orange glow, and the cold has been driven away to the corners.

Look how he’s taking care of you , a voice inside me whispers while I’m staring at Tanner, and I can’t help but agree.

Hell, he has done more for me and with me in these few short days than Derek did our entire relationship at this point.

“Okay, that’s better, I think,” Tanner states. He calls me to him, settling himself down on the large rug set before the flames. “Come over, Lena. Let’s sit by our own personal fire and continue our talk. It’s so much warmer here.”

Getting up from the bed, feeling a kind of warmth that the fire alone cannot be responsible for, I settle down opposite Tanner.

There’s a shawl draped around my shoulders and body, with my hands comfortably tucked away in the middle. I feel safe and cozy, something I never thought it was possible to feel while talking about my awful past.

“Okay, I’ve told you everything,” I say. “Now it’s your turn.”

Tanner raises his eyebrows. “Oh, I wish I had a story as exciting as yours to tell, but I don’t. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before, so…”

“Why not?” I ask, frowning. “Is it because of your duties as an alpha?”

“That’s part of it,” Tanner admits. “The work, the responsibilities, the pressure, they barely leave time for anything else. But there’s another reason too…”

He trails off for a moment, face thoughtful, framed in bright hues by the flickering flames. “I guess I just haven’t met the right person. The person that makes me want to risk it all for love, you know. That’s all there is to it, but people don’t understand. Especially not my parents.” He lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Your parents?” I probe gently. “Are they pressuring you to find a mate?”

“Yep,” Tanner states. “For a long, long time. Ever since I became Alpha, I’ve been dealing with their requests to expand the pack lineage and form a new alliance. If only it were that easy.”

“You know, it’s interesting,” I tell him, wiggling a little closer to him, so there’s less space between us and more warmth. “I never really got to find out how you became Alpha in the first place. Was it because your family line has always been the pack leader, or what?”

“Oh no,” Tanner laughs. “It’s not like that in our pack. If it were, things would be much easier. No, the Alpha is always selected based on merit, which means it doesn’t matter what family you belong to. You still have to outperform literally everyone else if you want to become the leader.”

“Damn,” I mutter, impressed despite myself. “That must have been a pretty big challenge. How did you do it?”

Tanner shrugs, splaying his hands in a self-explanatory gesture. “By training since I was a child,” he says, his voice steady but edged with bitterness. He takes a slow sip of whiskey, letting the burn settle before continuing. “By skipping out on all the fun stuff kids do and working to improve my physical strength and leadership abilities.”

He pauses again, swirling the amber liquid in his glass before bringing it to his lips once more. “It’s tireless work if you want to be at the top,” he adds, his tone lower now.

“Tireless, and more often than not, thankless because people rarely see the sacrifices you’ve made for them. All they see are your shortcomings, the different ways you’re not measuring up to their standards.”

“I can imagine,” I murmur, even though I really can’t. It’s hard to envision myself being in such a demanding role.

My own mundane worries seem like such a mountain of a task to handle. “Does it hurt your brother, the fact that you’re pack Alpha?

I was with him for a year, you know. And I can tell you he was dying to be in that position. I could never understand why he didn’t get it, considering how badly he craved it.”

Tanner barks out a short laugh and waves my concern away. “If only my brother had applied that same level of dedication to his relationship with you. He may not have managed to become the Alpha, but at least he would have been with a great person in his life rather than the person who simply made him look good.”

Tanner’s words melt inside me, heightening my warmth and reddening my cheeks and neck. Unable to stop myself, I scoot a little closer to him, until our knees are touching.

“You always know the right thing to say, huh?” I whisper, staring into his eyes, which reflect the hearth’s glow and resemble oceans set afire.

I feel like I can drown in them, in their infinite depths of ice and flame, warmth and cold, familiarity and utter strangeness.

This is a walking contradiction that perfectly describes my relationship with Tanner.

Part of me is drawn irresistibly to him, while part of me wants to shrink away from him out of fear that his touch will make me combust. Tonight, however, it feels like the first of those two parts is stronger.

“I’m just being honest,” Tanner responds, his voice soft but certain. His hand reaches up, gently brushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. The small touch sends a shiver down my spine, making me feel seen in a way I’m not used to.

“Only a fool wouldn’t see you for the wonder you are, Lena,” he continues, his eyes locked on mine. “And only a mad fool would dare to walk away from you.”

He pauses for a moment, his thumb lightly grazing my cheek as his gaze softens. “You have more magic in you than I can explain,” he says, his voice almost a whisper, “and you’re far, far stronger than you think.”

Tanner’s words hang in the air, sinking into me, but he doesn’t stop. “Don’t ever let Derek’s words put you down,” he adds, his hand still resting gently on my face. “Trust me, you’re the prize, not him. And he’s the one who lost out, not you.”

He leans in slightly, his voice steady, almost reverent. “Anyone who willingly lets you go is making the biggest fucking mistake of his life. That’s a fact. I promise you that.”

I continue looking wordlessly at him, not knowing what to say to a speech like that.

How do I express my gratitude and appreciation for him?

So, in the end, where words fail, I do the only other thing I can, the only thing that will make Tanner understand how I’m feeling.

I close the short distance between our lips and press mine passionately into him, trying to convey my emotions through my actions.

Tanner's lips ignite a fire within me, his touch fueling the flames that rage across my skin.

I move with him, feeling his hands on my back, pulling me closer until I'm on his lap. The shawl I wore earlier is forgotten, cast aside as his embrace becomes my only source of warmth.

The crackling of the fireplace fills my ears, or perhaps it's the sound of my own heart beating wildly in response to Tanner's kisses.

Those kisses set off fireworks within me, exploding through my veins and bones, leaving no part of me untouched.

His hands wander beneath my dress, sending shivers across my bare stomach, goosebumps trailing in their wake.

I groan, overwhelmed by the pleasure, unable to stand against it. My mouth goes slack, but Tanner tilts my chin up, kissing me with a passion that leaves me breathless.

His fingers work on my dress, sliding it over my shoulder.

I gasp as the air caresses my bare neck and collarbones, but that gasp turns to a cry as Tanner's mouth finds my neck, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles that sends shivers down my spine.

“Is this what you want?” Tanner whispers against my skin, his hands hovering over the zipper of my dress.

Desire flares through me like wildfire, my breath catching at his touch. “Yes,” I breathe, my answer more of a plea than a confirmation.

“Please.”

Tanner’s fingertips skate over my exposed collarbones, sending heat coiling through my body, pooling deep within me. With a deft tug, his fingers slide the zipper down, exposing more of my skin to the cool air, and his hungry gaze.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his eyes dark with desire, roaming over me as he gently tugs the dress down, baring my shoulders.

I shiver at his words, my breath catching in my throat as goosebumps sprout across my skin. “I can barely believe this is real,” I admit softly, my eyes falling shut as his thumbs brush against the sensitive skin of my neck.

“It’s very real.” Tanner’s voice is a deep rumble, his lips trailing feather-light kisses across my jaw and down my neck.

My hands find his shoulders, my fingers curling into the soft fabric of his shirt as I savor the sensation of his mouth on my skin. My heart is racing, my body thrumming with anticipation, my skin electric everywhere he touches.

“I want you, Lena,” Tanner whispers hoarsely, his hands skimming over my sides, reigniting the trail of fire he’d left before.

“I want all of you.”

I open my eyes, meeting his intense gaze, and reach for the hem of his shirt. With a swift tug, I pull it over his head, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of his sculpted torso, bared to my hungry gaze.

“Then take me,” I whisper, my voice shaking as I lean forward to press a kiss to his chest, just over his pounding heart.

Tanner's hands, strong and sure, map the terrain of my body as if it were a landscape he's been exploring for lifetimes.

He lowers me onto the rug, the soft fur a stark contrast to the hard planes of his body pressing against mine.

His lips find mine again, hungry and passionate, yet there's a tenderness there that brings tears to the corners of my eyes. He's not just kissing me. He's cherishing me, worshiping me.

I can feel it in every touch, every breath we share.

He pulls back slightly, his eyes locked onto mine, and removes the rest of his clothes.

"Lena, I promise you, I will always protect you. No one will ever hurt you again." His voice is a deep rumble, resonating within his chest and echoing into mine.

It's not just a promise; it's a vow, one that sends a shiver of safety and belonging through me.

I reach up, cupping his cheek, feeling the rough stubble against my palm. "Tanner, I... I feel safe with you. Like nothing can touch me, nothing can hurt me. It's a feeling I haven't had in so long." My voice catches, emotion thick in my throat.

"And this, us, it feels right. Like we were meant to be here, in this moment, together."

His lips capture mine again, sealing our words, our promises.

His hands roam lower, exploring and discovering, and I arch into his touch, my body responding to his like flames to the wind.

I can feel his hardness pressing against me, and I know that this is it. This is the moment I've been waiting for. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as he positions himself above me.

He breaks the kiss, looking into my eyes with an intensity that takes my breath away.

With a gentle thrust, Tanner enters me, filling me completely.

"Fuuuuck." I gasp at the sensation, my body arching to meet his. He moves slowly at first, each stroke sending sparks of pleasure shooting through me.

I arch into him as his hands cup my breasts, his thumbs brushing against my nipples, sending a jolt of pleasure coursing through me.

My hands find his back, nails digging into his skin as I pull him closer.

As we find our rhythm, I feel myself getting lost in the moment.

Tanner's hands are everywhere, touching me, caressing me, as if he can't get enough of me. And I feel the same way about him. I want to touch every inch of his body, to memorize the feel of his skin against mine.

The room fills with our breaths, our moans, the sound of our bodies coming together. The fire casts flickering shadows on the walls, reflecting our passion and our desire.

I can feel the heat building, the pressure intensifying.

"Tanner," I gasp, my body tensing as the first wave of pleasure crashes over me. "I'm... I'm coming."

He growls, his thrusts becoming harder, faster, pushing me over the edge. I cry out, my body convulsing as wave after wave of pleasure washes over me.

He follows soon after, his body tensing as he finds his own release, my name a whispered prayer on his lips.

We cling to each other, our bodies slick with sweat, our hearts pounding in sync.

The fire crackles softly, casting a warm glow over our entwined bodies. At this moment, there is only us. Only this. And it's perfect.

My inner wolf cries out with me, celebrating this magnificent, holy union.

Mate ! It howls with joy.

For the first time, I don’t disagree with it.