Christmas with the Grumpy Alpha (Feuding Hearts Christmas)

20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Tanner

“Lena! Lena!”

Where is she?

I’m in the forest, calling out Lena’s name again and again, my voice echoing back to me in a mocking chorus.

There is no reply from her. Just the silence and the brittle dance of the wind.

Why isn’t she answering?

Reaching out through our bond, I don’t sense anything. It’s very odd. Is she blocking me somehow?

I can still smell her scent hanging from the branches and tainting the snow. The smell of heartbreak and sorrow, as pungent as blood in this pristine landscape.

But it’s hard to tell where she went from here.

There’s a break in her scent right where I’m standing, as if Lena’s dark thoughts were suddenly interrupted by something. But what?

And where did it cause her to go?

The fear is starting to set in.

“Lena!” I call out louder than ever, my voice cracking. “Lena, can you hear me? Please answer if you can!”

No response.

Just silence.

I curse inwardly and continue walking forward, gripped by a terribly strong sense of foreboding that won’t go away no matter what.

I can feel the unease inside me, within my inner wolf, causing us both to be on edge. Something is not right.

Really not right. And I can feel time running out swiftly, my window of opportunity closing.

I need to act now. I need to figure out what happened right now.

And then I smell it.

The wind brings it to me in its frozen arms like an offering. Just a whiff of it, but even a whiff is enough for me to detect what I’m smelling.

Blood.

Lena’s blood.

Oh no. God, no.

I turn my head and home in on the slightly metallic smell, letting everything else fade away. It’s barely there, present one moment and gone the next.

The barest tinge of blood present in the air, so thinly spread out that it’s hard to focus in on it for more than a second or two. But I have to. I must.

I close my eyes and shut my mind off to every thought, every fear, every nightmare scenario that is playing in my head right now.

I shut it all off and focusing my attention entirely on that smell. That smidgen of coppery odor playing hide-and-seek with me in the open.

I use every bit of focus within me to find it and then to keep my hold on it, letting it guide me to its source.

My nose fills with the scent.

I walk forward, my eyes closed, my face set with such deep lines it looks like I’m lost in some terrifically real dream.

The scent guides me forward, pulling me by an invisible string, leaving just enough crumbs of its presence in the wind to tug me toward its location.

Towards Lena.

I have no idea where I’m going, except that the snow is getting thicker and thicker beneath me, and my boots are plowing deeper and deeper into it.

The wind too is rising in intensity, bringing more of that rusted scent to me, a sign that I’m approaching the source.

And then I slip. My foot rises and comes back down, only to meet with empty air where the ground should be.

Disbalanced, my eyes shoot open just in time to watch myself tumbling forward, falling headfirst into a steep cliffside.

Fuck me.

I fall, and gravity instantly grabs me, greedily yanking me down to the very bottom.

My arms and legs flail but there is nothing to hold on to, nothing but the smooth, soft snow, devilishly deceptive in its innocent appearance.

And now it has me in its grasp.

An angry grunt escapes my mouth, and moments later, part of my inner wolf bursts through. Its bristling presence fills my limbs, turning my left arm and leg into clawed appendages.

With those sharp claws, I rake the curtain of snow I am sliding down, gashing it open in an attempt to find something solid to hold onto.

Harder and harder my clawed limbs thrash, gutting the slope’s smooth side and sending flurries raining down.

But there is a seemingly infinite amount of snow to cut into. The more ferociously I assault the cliffside, the more snow it sends out to replace the sheets I just dislodged.

And all the while, my mad descent to the bottom continues, picking up pace and blurring my surroundings.

There has to be something solid around here.

More of my inner wolf rises through into me, taking over my eyes and heightening their perception. With these werewolf eyes, I take in my surroundings, try to find some smudge of blackness within the eternally shifting universe of white I seem to have fallen into.

I see it a few moments later. Something black down the length of the slope, approaching me with terrific speed.

Maybe a tree or a bush or something else entirely. But enough to stop my fall if I am able to hold onto it.

I stop moving my arms and legs and focus on that approaching speck of black instead, twisting and worming my body so I am trailing a path that will pass right by its side.

The speck grows larger, turning from a formless hulk into something pointy and round, an arrowlike thing jutting into the sky.

My body skids and careens past it, and I reach out with my clawed hand, exerting as much strength into the maneuver as I can manage.

THUD!

The impact is so strong my arm is almost torn from my frame. I feel tendons stretching to their utmost limit and screaming inside me.

My whole body jerks to an instant halt, spraying snow down the mountainside and making my insides vibrate jarringly.

But I am not falling anymore.

I look towards my savior, a shiny black rock poking out from the snow like a tombstone. My claws have riven three sharp lines across its smooth exterior in an effort to secure me in place.

The rock feels a little loose, jiggling slightly in its place, almost knocked from its place by the force of my collision with it.

Lena.

The thought of her fills my mind again now that I am out of danger, and with it, the sharp stench of blood greets me.

It is no longer fleeting and faded like I was sensing before. No, now the air is awash with it, awash with the evidence of a terrible accident.

Oh, God. Lena. Let her be okay, God.

Holding on to the stone, I rise to my feet and slowly begin stumbling forward, making sure not to slip in case I start falling all over again.

I traverse the slope’s surface sideways, following Lena’s scent, reciting silent prayers inside my head. Five minutes later I see her, lying on her back near a tree.

No, no, God, no.

I’m suddenly running forward, no longer concerned about myself, stumbling and staggering on the slippery ground in an effort to get to the one person who matters most to me in the world.

My mouth is open and Lena’s name is repeatedly echoing from it, but to no response.

She’s lying utterly still on the ground, hands placed beside her peacefully, as if she’s fast asleep.

No. I will not think such thoughts. I will not let anything happen to her.

Not in this life.

“Lena!” I finally reach her and kneel down, picking her up in my arms. Lena’s eyes are closed, her lashes glimmering white with strands of frost.

Her eyelids are covered by it too, and so are her frighteningly blue lips.

I pick up her hand and sense my heart dropping upon feeling how cold it is, as cold as this desolate landscape around us.

I put my head against her chest to check for her breath. Yes, it is there, but barely. An almost imperceptible throb that could cease any moment.

Picking her up in my arms, panting with the effort, I realize that this place is no match for my human form. I need to transform more into my animal self, the self that is at home in these untamed lands.

My inner wolf bursts out within more of me, eager to be in control.

Tufts of fur sprout through my skin, offering some warmth against the relentless chill. The muscles in my arms and legs lengthen, strengthen, being infused by a supernatural strength.

In this half-man half-beast form, I begin trudging up the slope, using my clawed feet for purchase on the snow.

The ascent is the most difficult trek I’ve ever made in my life, with fear preying on me every second of the way.

With every step forward that I haltingly take, it feels like I’m about to slip and start falling backwards, all the way to the bottom.

But I don’t. Somehow, miraculously, with Lena in my arms, I reach the top and let out a long breath once I’m standing on flat ground again.

From here onwards I walk faster, clearing the forest in less than ten minutes and reaching my room in another two.

Once inside, I lay Lena down on the bed and turn the heater up as high as it would go.

I remove her soaked clothes from her body, clothes which are covered with snow that is already melting in the warmth.

Once Lena is naked, I wrap her in three of the thickest blankets I have, drawing them up to her chest.

Then I take one of my T-shirts from the wardrobe and rinse it with hot water from the restroom.

Using the T-shirt, I gently rub away the frost from Lena’s face, cleaning her eyelids, cheeks, and lips. The ice has spread further than I had initially thought.

Once done, I wipe her forehead for extra measure, hoping the warmth will directly reach her brain and help in the healing process.

It does. The damp cloth slides across Lena’s temples when she stirs slightly. Her eyelids flutter, once, twice, then slowly open.

My heart soars with joy, seeing that honeyed brown of her pupils as beautiful as ever, unchanged by the ordeal she has just suffered.

“L—Tanner?” Lena whispers weakly. “Is t—that you, or am I hallucinating?”

I clasp her hand gently. “It’s me. No hallucination in the world can look so damn sexy.”

Lena’s lips part into a tired half-smile.

She swallows with some difficulty. I feel something inside me breaking upon seeing how worn out she looks, how beaten down.

How fragile.

“How are you feeling, Lena?” I ask her with concern. “Are you cold? Is there any pain? Tell me what I can do to help.”

Lena shakes her head once, with some difficulty. “I’m fine,” she croaks. “Just…tired. Thanks for rescuing me, Tanner.”

Tears well in the corners of my eyes, and I forcefully blink them back. “You don’t have to thank me, Lena,” I tell her in a voice that miraculously doesn’t quaver. “I know that you left because of…. because of what happened back in the hotel. And I am so sorry for that.”

She says nothing in response.

I lean closer to her, spurred on by her silence. “Lena, I will make things right, I promise you. You don’t have to worry or fear about my family anymore. They won’t be an issue for you. I’ll make sure of that.”

Once more, she does not respond, and upon closer inspection, I realize she has fallen asleep again. Her eyes are half-lidded, and her breath is coming out in tiny snores.

Getting up from the bed, I leave her to her dreams and walk outside, knowing there will be no rest for me tonight.

No peace.