Citrine (Deliverance #3)

38. Wroahk

38

Wroahk

Watching her slow progress is even more of a torture than hearing her endless talking.

My tentacles reach out, my body screaming at me to help her. I want to; I so desperately want to, but I can't.

She has beached herself. A person's survival cannot depend on anyone else. She must overcome this by herself.

With her tentacles, her gills, and her fins, and clearly her skin now, she is like me. Although I do not know how, I must carry on my duty and turn her into an independent hunter. I never planned to take on a nursery group. I'm not old enough for it, and she isn't young enough, but that is the only similar situation I can think of.

You don't help another being by saving them from being beached. You only extend their lives long enough to do something equally painful.

However, the thought of her not being by my side brings me discomfort. There is no one else who can touch me as kindly as she does. There is none as foolish as her to get so close to a predator like me.

I move closer to the shore, despite myself.

Although she trembles like prey, she is very bold. She keeps climbing down, her anger and her desperate wish to survive aiding her every move.

Maybe there is a strength in her, not just kindness .

Her limbs touch the ground, and she stumbles toward the water. The desire in her eyes to live burns strong, bringing her closer and closer to me. She makes it to the bank, her breath shallow.

She is still too far away. Her fierce gaze fixes on me like she wants to say something, but I immediately pull her in, disregarding all rules.

"Let me go!" she says but I ignore her just as I ignored the rules.

She doesn't understand the significance of what I've done, and she likely never will. I couldn't take the risk anymore, couldn't stand the idea of her falling short of safety or being permanently harmed.

I told myself nothing could harm her, even herself, and yet I made her climb down. At the same time, no one should be helped if they are beached. I don't know which one is more important anymore.

I feel like the easy assurance of my life has been ripped apart. No rules are clear anymore and I want to scream out my rage. Instead, I feel her gentleness creeping over me, and something… fills my chest. Something buoyant and big, directly related to having her safe in my limbs.

"You did well," I tell her, in a voice I don't even recognize as my own.

There is still anger in her eyes, but anger is good. The anger of a hunter is a great motivation toward victory, just as she has shown today.

Then I'm distracted as I defend her against the creatures attracted by the smell and taste of the blood from her wounds spreading in the water. Many Teeth surround us on all sides. I hold her to me with my graspers, and fling out my tentacles, batting some of them away, grabbing on to others.

Once I have all of them accounted for, I grab the smallest one, darting two tentacles over to it to break it apart. Another Many Teeth takes advantage of the opening that makes for it to bite into another of my limbs, clamping down, but most of the others start a frenzy feeding.

I move us down farther into the water, including the Many Teeth grinding its teeth painfully into me. I try to pry open its jaws, but realize I'm wasting time. Instead, I wrap a tentacle around its jaw and help it bite me, the added pressure detaching my tentacle. Then I fling the Many Teeth away as it snaps frantically at it's prize.

That one will smell like me for many days, making it easy to locate and break every bone it its body for thinking it won. For now, it enjoys its meal and I swim down to the cave with my own prize.

It is easy to defend, and after a quick sweep of my remaining tentacles to ensure nothing is inside, I let her float in the middle of it, my back to the entrance and tentacles ready to flick any threat away.

I let her soak in the water, and after a moment see a layer of her body peel away. She's still maintaining a distance from me, her eyes angry, so I have to remain patient if I want to ask her anything.

Looking at her now, I think I can understand some things she has been saying. Deep inside me, gurgling up as an urge, there's something that pushes me to care for her. I want to remove her despair, not be the cause of it.

The only thing I can make of that is that I'm slowly going insane.

I watch her closely, waiting for any sign. Her eyes are on the exit, and I can feel that she wants to go back up, though isn't reckless enough to go out to where the Many Teeth are.

She isn't used to her changes yet.

I don't want to imagine how life on the surface feels like, constantly staying there daily without a dip in the water. This lake feels disgusting, but I can't imagine surviving without it. I don't understand why she wants to go back when it's better down here. She even said she likes the underwater ridge.

That should be enough motivation to stay down here.

She moves farther back into the small cave, and it's clear she's not used to swimming. She's barely using her fins and if she didn't have gills, she would've drowned straight away. I'm amused by how much she struggles when she cannot escape me.

There's defiance in her eyes and it just draws me in.

The silence is wonderful as we wait for the Many Teeth to disperse, but I must admit I am curious to know what she is thinking.

Insanity really must be creeping in, because I pull her to me and move her back up. The Many Teeth have had their fill, and once the frenzy passes, my echoes remind them this isn't a place they are safe.

I loosen my hold on her and she clumsily swims to the surface. It's more like thrashing and it draws the attention of one of the Many Teeth who thought it could hide from me. I watch it investigate her and slowly emerge from its hole. I move behind it as it stalks her, waiting for the perfect time to snap out my limbs.

I make sure it's silent when I snap its bones and drop it back down into the depths so I can keep following her, making a bold statement to the creatures who watch.

When I resurface, she's waiting for me by the shore, fury burning in her eyes.

"What have you done to me?" she demands, like I have an answer.

"Get back in the water, you'll dry up."

She takes her eyes off me for a moment, focusing on something behind me.

"Was something following me?"

"You swim like you are injured and weak. Of course, there was something following you."

"I don't care for your quips, Wroahk! I don't care if you think of me as weak or useless. What I will not stand is you stripping away my humanity !"

"I can assure you there is nothing you have for me to take."

"Oh, really? So I'm just really crazy and yelling at you for no reason, then. Typical man !"

I don't know why she thinks I am doing this. She was the one who stole my body and my voice.

She is also bravely shouting, despite there being an abundance of predators around. Maybe she really is becoming like me.

I like it.

"Just come back inside the water."

"No! I'm going to find something to eat! And don't you dare follow me."

I slink behind her, ready to pull her back at the first sign of desiccation. If I broke that rule, I might as well just keep breaking it.

She finds more of her plants, and they make me shudder. If she really is stealing part of me, then they'll weaken her quicker than drying out.

"I swear you're the worst kind of stalker . Why are you hiding behind the trees?"

"I am not hiding. I'm staying closer to the water so I can hydrate quicker. You should do the same."

"No, thank you ," she responds with venom in her voice.

It makes that odd feeling stir in my chest again. To think how despite having no actual venom, she has become more intimidating.

I watch her eat her leaves, waiting for some kind of reaction. I don't have to wait long because the leaves don't stay long in her body before she retches. When she raises her head, all I can see in her eyes is panic.

"No, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening. Please, this can't…"

She falls to her knees, eyes to the sky. She whips her head back down, reaches down like a ravenous beast, and throws the leaves into her mouth, crushing them between her teeth. Not long after, she retches again.

She spends so much time pushing against nature.

I reach my limit at this point and move closer to intervene before she grabs more.

"What are you doing?"

"Let me go, diablo ! You ruined my life!"

"I will not allow you to hurt yourself."

"See if I fucking care! I have had it with your attitude and your desire to own me! How would my poor padre in heaven feel when he sees his daughter turning into a monster?"

She thinks she is a monster?

I look closer at her, noting that I no longer think of her as disgusting, not even the parts of her that aren't from me.

"What is your word for something that you want to keep looking at? Something that makes you feel pleased to have your eyes on it?" I ask her.

She stills, some of the anger leaving her. " Beautiful ."

"You are beautiful ."

Her mouth drops open, then closes, then opens again. She looks like a fish.

A sound like she makes when she is pleased escapes my throat. A rising and falling cry that surprises me, but also feels good.

Maybe I am the one taking her voice now.

I wrap my tentacles around her, squeezing her tightly. She stares back in defiance, but doesn't fight against my hold.

All of this because she can no longer eat her nasty plants? What's wrong with eating food like me?

"You aren't allowed to hurt yourself. Those plants are hurting you."

" Screw the damn deal ! It was made under the assumption that I'm human . Do I look human to you, Wroahk?"

"I do not know what that is supposed to look like."

"Of course you don't. If this is really a dream, I would love to wake up right now."

Her voice softens at the end. I stop squeezing and gently place her down.

I watch her skin closely, worried she will dry out. Seeing the cracks on her skin, I reach out again and carry her with me, taking extra care and take her inside the water. Submerged, all she can do is release air bubbles, but it doesn't look like she wants to talk, anyway.

I take her down to the cave and wrap myself around her.

I have never felt like this before, but I feel a need to say something to her to make her feel her. I search my head for words, but I can't find any.

I've always lived alone, and I thought I would remain like that until I died. Skills like that were always useless.

Now, I have her. The human with the kind touch. I don't want the warmth of her skin to disappear.

After a moment, she returns my embrace, her limbs holding me tightly and her new yellow tentacles wrapping around my chest as she trembles.

"You are weak and confused. I do not know how you feel, but I have seen prey lose their minds because of these emotions. You doubt yourself because you are used to being weak, but you must understand that you have gained strength. You cannot be strong with the head of weak prey. You must accept your own strength and keep living."

I will not let go of her kindness .

She looks up at me. She isn't angry anymore and I can see what was hiding behind it now. Fear.

The best way to avoid that is to feel strong.

"You should get used to hunting. I can show you how."

She shakes her head vigorously. I move closer, pausing to give her time to say no, and then move to give her a kiss .

She responds with violence, but not to hit me to tell me to stop. Her teeth almost puncture the skin near my teeth, her arms wrap around me, and she pulls me close with her graspers. With this kiss , I feel…

The best feeling ever, though there is no name for it.

She fights for dominance with her tongue and squeezes me with her weak arms. Her lower limbs attack my tentacles, but I have no trouble against them. I want her to struggle more. I want her to fight me more.

I want to taste the fury in her blood.

She moves her lower limbs so they squeeze me tight, kissing me and nipping at me with her teeth, then pushes me away, her grasper rubbing at her lip where it is already healing from where she caught it on one of my teeth.

Her rage tastes even better than I hoped.

"You will make a fine hunter, female. You already possess the madness for it."

She raises a single finger at me without turning and moves to the corner. I feel proud of what I have accomplished and turn around to guard her and think… so much thinking.

She isn't quite ready yet to make her first kill, but she shows early signs of the needed violence.