Class Clown (The Thornback Society #4)

8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Ruby’s Truth: You should form a hypothesis every chance you get.

A few days later I was feeling a little less easy-breezy about porcupine coincidences, and a lot more interested in the many paranormal novels I’d read about different species imprinting on each other.

“What do you know about the scientific method?” I asked Kristy as we sat in the health center, waiting for our next bloody nose or nausea case to arrive.

Camp was in full swing and Kristy and I spent more time waiting for patients than actually treating them. I preferred to be busy, but for the most part I was avoiding going stir crazy. I wanted the kids and staff to be healthy, and I’d gotten some good brush-up time reading medical books. But it also meant I had plenty of time to go down some mental rabbit holes.

I was at the one small desk under the window, one of those medical books open, staring out the window at the tops of the pine trees. They swayed a bit in the afternoon breeze. Kristy had pulled in an extra chair and was currently using the exam table as a desk, writing in a flowery notebook. Her pen had pink ink and I thought I saw some sparkles on the page. It made me smile in spite of the seriousness of my mindset this morning.

She looked up from her writing and wrinkled her forehead, before she shook her head to get her hair out of her eyes. “Um, it’s when you form a theory and try to prove it? ”

I nodded, looking out the window once more. Staring, for me, sometimes helped with processing information. “Basically, yeah. It starts with an observation, and questions, and then you form a hypothesis that you can test. Eventually you either prove it or disprove it.”

“Right.”I looked across the small room at her and took a breath. “What would you say if I told you that I think I have a stalker?”

Her eyes grew large and she shut her notebook, leaning forward with her elbows on the exam table. The tissue paper crinkled under her. “What?”

“Yeah.” Simply saying it out loud made my skin prickle and I shivered. “I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“Okay.” She bit her lip thinking. “If we apply the scientific method here, what’s the observation that led you to believe it?”

“Well, he started appearing everywhere I go. If I’m at my cabin I’ll see him out the window, if I’m here he’ll walk by, and I think I heard him following me on the path the other night when I left the main lodge late.”

Her expression grew worried. “That’s so creepy.”

“Right? At first I asked myself, is this in your head? Could there be some other explanation? The world is full of coincidences, you know? In a camp this size it’s safe to assume you’ll cross paths a lot.”

Kristy nodded. “Good points. What happened next?”

“Well, I decided to form the hypothesis that I was totally making it up and seeing things that weren’t true.” I picked up a pencil and tapped it on my lips. “I started keeping tally marks on my wrist when I saw him in the same place as me.” I flipped my wrist to show her the collection of tally marks working their way up my elbow.

“Hoy cow, Ruby. That’s a lot.”

“I know. I haven’t been able to wash this arm for four days now because he just keeps appearing.”

“That seems to disprove the theory that it’s coincidence,” she replied.

“Exactly. I moved on to a new hypothesis that he is actually stalking me.” I pointed to the tally marks again. “The data seems undoubtable to me.”

We sat in silent contemplation for a few minutes, the horror filling up the room as we both understood how freakish this was.

“Do you know his name?” Kristy asked, breaking the silence. “We need to report him.”

“I don’t know how to report him. ”

“We tell Cole. Has he made any threats or actually spoken to you?” Kristy asked, tugging her long hair over her shoulder and playing with it.

I shook my head. “Not really. He did raise his quills once and I thought I was a goner, but then he moved on.”

“Wha- . . .” She sat up straighter and tilted her head in question. “Quills?”

I gave her a look. “Scary, right? I’m wondering if a ranger would be my best option for help. Maybe relocation?”

“Wait. Quills? Like, a bow and arrow, or what are we talking about here?”

I gestured for her to come to the window and pointed a few yards away. “I’m talking about him,” I said urgently. “He is following me day and night and it’s wigging me out.”

“Your stalker is a porcupine?” Her voice rose with every word until it was squeaky with incredulity.

My face was grim. “I was not prepared for this. I had no idea it could happen or how to handle it.” I showed her my arm again. “Look. This is only four days. There are probably forty tally marks there. Can you explain that? Do they imprint on people?”

She bit her lips and shook her head. “There are porcupine around every summer, but I didn’t think they stalked people.”

“Because you are not being actively stalked by one.”

She settled herself back on her chair, he eyes sort of distant in thought. Yeah, I recognized that expression. She thought I was losing it and wondered how to be kind about it.

“Listen, Kristy, I know how it sounds, which is why I haven’t said anything to anyone until I had a chance to prove my theory. But you have to admit the data is pretty startling.”

She sighed and looked at me. “It’s definitely strange.”

“You didn’t even know he existed, and I’m seeing him everywhere. Why?”

She shook her head. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to over react, but honestly, do they have rabies? Do they attack people? Is this some territorial thing? I have no WiFi. I can’t look this information up, so I’m left inside my own brain swirling around and unsure if it’s a phase he’ll grow out of, or if I need to change my scented lotion or something. ”

She sat up straight again and nodded. “Okay, okay. You’re right. It’s odd and we don’t have answers, but we can find them. In the meantime, maybe carry some pepper spray or something to be safe? In case he raises his quills again?”

“I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve heard they can launch their quills pretty far. I do not need a quill to the face.”

“Can we go to Cole’s office and use his WiFi so we can at least stop flipping out about this?” she asked, standing abruptly.

I followed suit, shutting the book I’d been reading and looking out the window once more to check. Yep, the rotund little rodent was still lounging only ten feet away.

“They don’t eat meat, right?” I asked as I rounded the desk.

Kristy grabbed my arm. “Oh my gosh, no more questions until we get online and can put this all to rest.”

We left a note on the health center door saying we’d be back in ten minutes, set a timer on my watch, and then Kristy basically dragged me out of the health center, and down the stairs, before ushering me along the short path to the main lodge where Cole’s office was. At one point she looked behind us and gave a squeak.

“He’s following us,” she said.

I pulled my pen out of my back pocket and added a tally mark to my arm. “Told you.”

“I swear, he’s actually watching us. Is he a mutant?” She picked up the pace and I followed at high speed until we were up the steps and through the lodge door. “That was really weird.”

“Bet you ten bucks we get to Cole’s office and he’s sitting outside the window,” I replied confidently.

She glanced worriedly at me. “No way.”

“Way.”

Cole’s office door was shut, but no one answered when we knocked, so we let ourselves in. Sister privilege is a real thing and I wasn’t above using it. I sat down behind his desk and Kristy walked straight to the window where she made another “eek” sound.

“He’s there,” she whined, pointing.

I made another tally mark on my arm. “I’m telling you, the scientific method works. We have a full-on stalker situation. ”

She came to stand next to me as I realized I’d left my phone in the health center, but Kristy had hers, so we moved to that. We huddled close as she connected to the WiFi, looking like conjoined twins who were up to no good.

“What are you doing?” Cole’s voice started us both and we screamed bloody murder, which had him stepping back and holding up his hands, his clipboard nearly hitting him in the head. “I don’t have an ax or a chain saw, I promise,” he cracked. “What has you two so spooked?”

“Ruby has a stalker,” Kristy supplied while she tapped at her phone screen. “We’re looking up information on risks she should be aware of.”

Cole immediately grew serious and stood across from the desk to face me square on. “Who is it?” he asked, his tone promising he’d handle it. “We need to inform Nico too, his skills would be an asset.”

“Oh, Nico is a good idea,” I grinned at Kristy. “He’s probably experienced with hostile situations.”

“Do you know his name?” Cole asked again. “Where can I find him?”

I pointed over my shoulder at the window. “He’s standing right out there.”

Cole slipped past me to look out the window while Kristy and I mumbled together as she searched up things such as ‘do porcupines attack’ and ‘do porcupines like the taste of human flesh’. That one had me slapping her on the arm and telling her I did not need any more ammo for the thoughts stirring in my brain.

“I don’t see anyone,” Cole said.

Kristy sort of pointed with her head. “He’s there. Small, hidden in the grass, dark fur, white quills.” Then she was back to me. “They have 30,000 quills. Holy cow. I know from watching a nature documentary that those quills burrow into flesh.”

I gasped. “They can swim? And they live in trees? Trees? Is that so that they can get the drop on their foes?” My tone was horrified and Kristy kept shaking her head as we read more.

“Wait!” Cole’s voice broke into our feverish searching and we both startled as we looked up to where he was once again standing across the desk from us. “Are you talking about that porcupine sitting out there?”

We nodded and I showed him my arm. “These tally marks are all the times I’ve caught him following me, or seen him in the same place as I am in the past four days. It’s science. ”

He blinked and then closed his eyes entirely while he thought. That was fine by me, because Kristy and I were still committed to our search and I was trying to get my over-active imagination to stand down after all the information we were fire-hosing.

“It says here that their teeth are continuously growing,” Kristy read on a breath.

“They omit an odor as a defense?” I read. “I thought only skunks did that.” I leaned back in Cole’s desk chair and clapped my hands over my head. “Just great. First he sprays you with stink, and then quills you to death.”

Cole gently, but firmly, reached over and took Kristy’s phone out of her hand and set it face down on the desk. We both protested, because it was rude, but he kept his hand on top of it and forced us to look at him.

“I’m not really sure what’s happening here, but it sounds to me like you’re worried about that porcupine forming some sort of attachment to you,” he said calmly. He was being very mature for a guy wearing a Shrek t-shirt. Where did he even find that?

“I think he’s imprinted on me, but for death,” I replied, eying the shirt closer. “What are you wearing?”

“Ooh, we should look that up,” Kristy chirped, reaching for her phone before Cole answered me about his absurd outfit.

Cole shook his head and scooted her phone closer to him. “I highly doubt that part of porcupine life is marking people for death.”

“Maybe I smell delicious,” I argued. “Maybe he likes what he sees here and wants to live with me forever.”

Cole fought down a smile. “You’re pretty great, Rubes, I’ll give him that. He has good taste.” I smiled back and with that came a softening of my shoulders and I relaxed back into the chair. “I can call the forest service rangers and see if he can be relocated if that will make you feel better.”

I held out my arm again. “Did you see these? That’s a lot of porcupine encounters. Yes, please call the rangers.”

Cole nodded and took his hand off Kristy’s phone. She sheepishly retrieved it and tucked it in her pocket.

“In the meantime,” Cole said, “I think we have some bear spray you can carry if you’d like.”

“Would that be overkill though?” Kristy asked. “We aren’t animal haters. ”

Cole rolled his eyes. “If you really think he’s out to murder you for your flesh, does it matter?”

Kristy blushed and moved past me to head out of the office. “I guess not. I’ll be back at the health center.”

She left the room and I stood, coming around to stand directly in front of Cole.

“We still need to discuss this shirt you’re wearing. Did you order it on idontwannafindlove.com?”

He looked down at his shirt and scoffed. “This is a camper favorite.”

“Right. How do you expect me to set you up with someone this summer if you’re dressing like this?”

He tilted his head and pinched his lips. “Do not try to set me up.”

“Why not? Rumor on the street is that you’re cute.”

“Ruby, another time I’d be up for the adventure, but I’m the boss here and it would be a bad look for me to be in any sort of relationship with my employees. I can’t afford the distraction or the complications.” His tone was serious and I nodded, accepting the truth. “Promise me.”

I sighed. “This adult version of you is both inspiring and annoying. I promise.” I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him close. “You know, you’ve followed me into a million scrapes and they mostly turned out well.”

He chuckled and returned the hug, patting me lightly on the back. “I guess so. Are you going to be okay?”

I sighed. “Yeah. It just, it’s made me sort of nervous the past couple of days and I didn’t like it.”

We let go and he smiled at me. “A quick phone call should take care of it.”

“Okay. Thanks.” I held up a finger. “One more thing. If it becomes necessary for me to attack him in self-defense, can I give him a proper burial in that Shrek t-shirt?”

He grinned and I grinned back at him, my little brother who I loved so much.

“Absolutely not,” he laughed.

I went to leave the room and was once again surprised by the sight of Nico standing there. He was in the doorway, an odd expression his eyes. Today his ballcap was white, and it made his skin look that much richer, his eyes deeper.

Cole, who still had his back to us, called out one last thing. “Next time you’re worried, Rubes, don’t Google it,” he teased, moving to sit behind his desk. “It makes everything seem worse.” I noticed him peek out the window before he sat, and I giggled as he shook his head. “He’s still sitting there.”

“That’s because he’s waiting for me to leave, like any good stalker does,” I replied.

I brushed past Nico, and before I’d turned the corner at the end of the hall, I heard him say to Cole, “She has a stalker?”

Cole’s laugh followed me out into the fresh mountain air.