Class Clown (The Thornback Society #4)

19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Ruby’s Truth: If you’re going to be a chicken, you’ll probably get fried.

A voidance, dear friends, is a tool I rarely use but when I do, I’m expert level. I’m so good that the person doesn’t even know they’re being avoided. The Mission Impossible game had been on a Wednesday night. It was now Friday afternoon and I’d kept myself especially busy, working my days around the schedule Nico had been following.

This was entirely because I didn’t want to have to talk about that kiss. The Kiss. Being held by Nico had been like home and I didn’t regret it at all. The problem wasn’t that we’d kissed, or that he’d said he wanted to pursue me. The problem was that I’d heard those things before and they’d ended. I couldn’t stand the idea that he might join the ranks by saying it was an accident, or we should take it slow, or that the summer was halfway over and who knew what the future held.

Nico felt different in every way, and because of that, I felt more vulnerable than I ever had in the past. I was truly worried that after our kiss he’d rethink things. Maybe he hadn’t zinged like I had. I wanted those moments to live in the magic of my mind for a little longer.

Had avoiding the conversation involved a lot of time in the health center? Yes. Because committed people commit. Like Abraham Lincoln said, ‘ Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality .’

I usually looked forward to weekends when the campers left and the staff could kind of bum around for a while, but this weekend I was seriously considering driving down to Flagstaff and holing up at a hotel until this jittery feeling passed .

On the bright side, I had a special treat coming up. I’d spoken to Cole about having my friends come spend some time, and he’d given me the green light. Aryn and Meredith had arranged to clear their schedules and were coming, and I was beyond thrilled. I was so happy about them joining me that I didn’t have time to feel sad that Hailey and Lizzie couldn’t come too. You take what you get and you don’t throw a fit.

I tugged on my camp uniform and was brushing through my hair in preparation for the parents to arrive and pick up their kiddos, when Cole entered the health center wearing his own uniform. It was the only outfit he ever wore that wasn’t wrinkled, which I found amusing because it proved he chose to live the rumpled life.

“Ah, this is where you live now, huh?” he said.

“You boys got too stinky,” I responded with a grin.

“We definitely benefit from your scented lotions and body spray.” He agreed, taking a seat behind my desk. “What’s the real reason I haven’t seen much of you for the past forty-eight hours?”

I gestured around the room and then began the work of plaiting my hair. “This place has been hopping. Lots of people on site means lots of little issues that need attending.”

“Are you pouting because you lost Mission Impossible?”

I turned and gaped at him. “I don’t think being the last one found would be considered losing.”

He grinned. “True, but technically you and Nico were caught together, and I know you haven’t always liked him. Did you have a fight out there in the dark forest?”

My mind flitted back to that night, Nico’s hand wrapping around mine under the cozy heat of his blanket, while the trees cocooned us. His lips, so warm and eager pressed to mine. The feeling of finally . My cheeks warmed and I turned back to the mirror over the sink.

“Nico and I don’t fight.”

“Okay, well help me understand, then, why my sister has all but disappeared and my best friend isn’t talking at all.” He leaned back in the chair and crossed his arms behind his head.

“Nico has always been a quiet person.”

“Not with me. My super sleuth abilities tell me those two things are tied together somehow. ”

“Your sleuthing abilities have failed you. If you’re so lonely for me, I’ll hold your hand on the walk to greet parents.” I tied off the end of my braid and tossed it back over my shoulder. “You could have just said so rather than throwing wild accusations around. What could Nico and I possibly have fought about?”

He shrugged. “The fact that he’s fascinated by you and that you don’t want to be fascinated back because you’re scared.”

I pointed at him with a frown, even as something in my stomach liked what he’d said. “You’re so far off track it’s laughable. You should really keep thoughts like that to yourself.”

“Is that what you said to Nico out there in the forest? That he should keep his thoughts to himself?”

“Cole.” My tone was the strident one reserved for truly serious matters.

He came to his feet with his palms out. “Sorry. I’m simply trying to understand.”

“There is nothing to understand.”

He came toward me and tried to look me in the eye but I busied myself applying some mascara and lip gloss. “Is something else bothering you?”

I shook my head. “I’m really fine. I didn’t even realize I’d been gone so much.”

He glanced around. “You have clothes stacked on that shelf and you’re putting on your make up here. Are you telling me that happened by accident and you didn’t realize you’d relocated?”

I nodded. “Time was tight so I saved some by changing here. It’s called streamlining.”

“Okay. I’ll play along.” He strode to the doorway and paused. “Just for the record, though, I’m not bothered by the thought of you and Nico together.”

I was too flustered to say anything intelligent, and ended up with a simple, “Good to know.”

He smirked and left, and I turned to look in the mirror again. My cheeks were rosy, my eyes bright, and my heart had forgotten its normal pattern. Nico found me fascinating? A woman wants to be fascinating as much as she wants delicious cheesecake. He’d be cool with me and Nico? My ridiculously squishy heart smiled.

The real pierce had come when he told me Nico wasn’t talking. Had I hurt him with my distance? I thought I’d been treading lightly to keep either of us from doing something we’d regret, to give us time to decide how and if we wanted to move forward. But he’d admitted he didn’t have a lot of practice. He was a wallflower, after all.

A quick look at the clock told me I had about thirty minutes until pick up time, so I grabbed my things and hustled toward the Funky Bunks cabin. It was time to woman up and talk to the man who made my stomach flip.

My arms were full as I entered the back door. Sounds of life in the bathroom caught my attention and I was glad Nico was there. I wasn’t sure what to say or how to proceed, and I briefly considered the drop and dash method of hurling my things onto my bed and busting right back out of here, but I forced myself to methodically put my things away.

I could take it no matter where this conversation led.

The shower stopped as I was finishing setting things in place, and a flicker of relief settled my heartrate. I could do this. I’d lead with an apology, and go from there.

With the tiniest of plans in mind, I leaned a hip against the kitchen counter and waited. It didn’t take long for him to come out of the steamy bathroom carrying a stack of the clothes he’d changed out of. He was fully dressed in the camp uniform, his hair combed, his feet still bare, and while I’d still seen him every day, I drank in the sight of him as though I hadn’t.

I was sort of ga-ga over this one.

I don’t know if he sensed me, or heard my puff of breath, but he paused in walking to his dresser and looked over at me. I offered a small smile and watched as he took in a deep breath. He sat his clothing on the top of the dresser and turned, raking his eyes over me from head to toe.

“Cole hunt you down?” he asked. I nodded. “Yeah. I got an earful this morning myself. Figured you’d be next.”

“He accused me of moving out. Not sure where he got that idea.” My smile grew.

“He’s always had a hard time grasping reality. You were obviously simply on vacation.” He replied with a hesitant smile of his own. “So, are you back?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Cool.”

“And, uh, I think I should tell you that while I’m going to apologize to you, it probably won’t be the one you really deserve. ”

He moved to the kitchen and sat down on one of the small chairs. “Why?”

I pushed away from the countertop and paced to the window. “I wouldn’t mean it.”

“Okay, let’s hear it.”

I folded my arms. “Well, I really do apologize for avoiding you a little bit the past two days. That wasn’t nice of me, and I’m sorry.”

“Why did you do it?”

I bit my lips and looked at him, hoping he’d let me get away without saying it, but he was calm and prepared to outwait me. I pushed out a breath.

“My feelings are like a marshmallow over the flame. Will I end up perfect, lightly browned, or will I get burned again?”

He stood and moved to the kitchen cabinets where he pulled out a mug and filled it with water. “I can understand that. I feel a little bit the same.” He turned off the water and glanced back at me. “And the apology you don’t really mean?”

I looked down at my feet, tapping one rapidly. “I should maybe apologize for kissing you.”

He put his mug of water in the microwave and got it heating before turning back to me. “Why does that deserve an apology?”

“Because it made things awkward between us, and possibly made you feel pressured in some way.”

“No. You avoiding me afterwards made things awkward between us.” The microwave beeped and he took out the water, testing it with a fingertip before reaching for one of his tea sachets to start steeping in the now-hot water. “Can I ask you a favor?” he asked over his shoulder. I bit at my lips but nodded when he turned once more to face me. “Apologize when you do something that actually upsets me, or hurts me somehow. But please, do not apologize for kissing me.”

“But . . .”

“I liked it,” he said so quietly I nearly missed it. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

My throat was tight and I tucked my hands into my pockets. “Really?”

“I thought you liked it too, but that’s twice now that you’ve clammed up. You did it at the shooting range, and again after we kissed. I’m confused. ”

I fidgeted, shifting to cross my arms. “I did like it. A lot, actually. But I’m supposed to be on a diet, you know?”

He took a spoon from a drawer and set it next to the mug. “Why on earth would you be on a diet?”

“A love diet.”

He turned to face me fully. “What’s a love diet?”

I slapped my hands to my face. “Nico, how are you always so confused by everything I say?”

He held up a hand, lifting one finger at a time. “Your spirit animal is a porcupine, you’re on a love diet, you’ve avoided me because of this diet, you’re not a player, but you want to play, you want to set me up with Kristy, but you like kissing me. It’s fuzzy at best.”

I stood taller and moved toward him. “Okay, let’s make this as clear as we can so we can both go wallow in embarrassment when it’s over.” I pointed at myself. “I, Ruby Jenkins, a thirty-something woman, have recently realized that I’ve been chasing men my whole life and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want something real. Then, you, Nico Crawford,” I pointed at him, “somehow manage to go from possible alien robot to a really wonderful and ridiculously tasty man, and I couldn’t resist kissing you. But that’s similar to my old patterns.” I pointed in the direction of the lodge. “Add to that the fact that you are my brother’s best friend, my co-worker, and that this entire situation is temporary because we live states apart.” A sweeping gesture taking in the entire cabin and camp. “So, I have been hiding away in order to avoid some sort of HR complaint of my own while fearing yet another love wound. Is that clearer?”

He took a few moments to stir his mug and then took a sip of whatever concoction he’d made while he looked me dead in the eye. “So, you’re saying that you feel wound up because you’re attracted to me and that’s an impossible situation after you had recently decided to swear off dating. You’re afraid that I think of this as a fling, and you don’t want to get hurt again.”

“Plus, we already kissed so I know what I’d be missing out on. Which is, like, stars bursting in the sky type stuff.”

His lips turned up. “And that whole thing, yes.”

“Right.” I tucked my hands against my hips while he took another sip, and another, all the while watching me over the rim of his cup until I was forced to fill the silence. “We’ve also established that you’re too young for me.”

He swallowed. “I don’t remember talking about our age.”

“We are four years apart,” I reminded him. “And Cole.”

“Four years is nothing,” he responded. “I’m confident that Cole is okay with this.”

I groaned. “Also, proximity. It’s a thing. I read a study on it.” He was sipping again, watching me. It reminded me of the way he’d watched me in our younger years and it made me itchy. “Basically, people fall in love more often with people they live around. Which is sort of like, ‘duh’, but anyhow, if you think about celebrities and stuff, they fall in love a lot with other celebrities because they’re sequestered together shooting movies etc.”

“Makes sense.”

“So, like, if I’d just seen you around town, I’d have simply thought you seemed familiar, maybe figured it out and said hello, and not taken the time to learn that you’re kind of awesome now. At most I’d have had a quick daydream about you and me eating cake on a romantic picnic and that would have been the end of it.”

“But, because we’re in close proximity all summer, your brain is tricking you into thinking there’s more there.”

Happy he was getting it, I smiled. “Yes. And as soon as summer is over, and you go back to Texas and I go back to Utah, it’ll be like it never happened, and we’ll both wonder what the big deal was.” I laughed. “I mean, it’s almost funny that this is happening after all those times you gave me the cold shoulder when we were younger.”

“I was intrigued by you and too shy to talk. Guys get like that with women they find attractive. First crushes are brutal.”

I tilted my head. “Are you trying to rewrite the past by telling me you had a crush on me during those silent years?” He nodded and I held up a hand and laughed. “Well, stop. Lying isn’t a pretty attribute.”

“I’ve never lied to you about anything.”

My laugh died abruptly. “Why would you say something like that?’

“You being my first crush?”

“Well, don’t say it again. That gives it legs.”

He put his mug in the sink and folded his arms. “I thought you were the one who wanted to be clear and honest. ”

“At a surface level, yes. I wasn’t looking to dig into the past here.”

“You’re the one who keeps bring up the past, telling me how I was a silent weirdo. I was simply responding with the truth.”

I pulled a face. “ The point is , I’m doing us both a favor by making sure we get some space.”

“You’re doing you a favor,” he stated before quickly rinsing out his mug and setting it on the drying rack. “For the record, you’re not doing me any favors.”

I frowned. This was zig-zagging out of control. “I don’t think you’re fully understanding me.”

He dried his hands before facing me again. “I understand you perfectly. You accidentally like me against your wishes. You know I like you. You’re afraid to take a chance and prefer to bury your head in the sand.”

I shook my head rapidly. “No. That’s not true at all.”

He stepped toward me. “You’re terrified.”

I held my ground. “That’s a lie.”

Another step closer. “Frightened.”

“Listing adjectives for the same word is not helping.”

I held my tongue as he stopped a foot in front of me. His dark eyes moved over my face and it heated. I balled my hands into fists and waited. He lifted a hand, slow enough to give me time to move, and when I didn’t shift away, he took a strand of my hair that wasn’t held back in the braid and ran it between his fingers.

“You’re alarmed because this time is different. This time isn’t a game of cat and mouse, where you’re the cat and the guy leads you along. This time a man is serious, and you’re unprepared for the game to take a turn.” My throat felt thick and I bit my lips together as I thought about how to respond. In the end, he didn’t give me a chance. “Do you think I don’t understand the ramifications of this? You’ve accused me several times of being robotic, so why do you assume I’d jump into something without thinking first? Cole is my best friend, the closest thing I have to a brother. You’re one of the most important people in his life. Why wouldn’t I take that into consideration?” He dropped my hair and ran a fingertip along my jaw and down my neck to the front of my throat. “Yes, Texas is really far from Utah, but to be really clear here, I’m not playing around with you. I don’t see this as a summer fling, and I’m not worried about the distance. I’ve been into you for a long time, and the only thing I’m actually scared by is the idea that you’ll never give me a real chance.”

His hand moved to the back of my neck and he leaned forward to press a kiss to my forehead. Then my cheek. And finally, the lightest of pressures against my mouth. I sighed, my shoulders relaxing, and kissed him back.

It was good. So good. His mouth fit mine perfectly, and when he pulled me closer, our bodies fit too. My hands rested on his broad shoulders, and his moved to my lower back, holding me steady. It was heaven and it ended far too quickly.

When he released me, I stepped back with a swallow.

“Do you understand what I’m telling you?” he said, lightly teasing, throwing my words back at me.

“Yeah,” I managed.

“I thought you’d be happy that I took your advice and am going after what I want.”

“I do like it when people follow my suggestions.”

He hooked a hand around my neck and kissed me hard once more. “I am in this with you, Ruby. Fifty-fifty. Are you with me?”

Like I had a choice after his perfectly wonderful speech.

“Yes,” I whispered, shaking out of the daze as his hand dropped. I swallowed and cleared my throat. “I want to be.”

“I’m going to hold you to it.” He smiled, gesturing for me to follow him to the back door to make our way down to the main parking area.

“Okay, then. Good thing there will be no vibes here for my friends to discover next week.”

His low chuckle was cut off by the sound of the back door closing behind us.